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#92236 12/22/12 10:35 AM
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KenJ Offline OP
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Comments go here


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
#92237 12/22/12 11:38 AM
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Loved it.


"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
#92238 12/22/12 11:55 AM
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KenJ Offline OP
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SJH,

Thanks for the FDK.

I needed to prove go myself I could do something outside of my Matchmaker set.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
#92239 12/22/12 01:27 PM
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Hi, Ken. wave

This was very intense for a short. I understand that it was probably beyond the scope of this part, but I would have been interested in seeing everyone's reaction to Lois's disappearance. Also, how was Clark's life changed. Did all the joy go out of his life? Did he live those 90 years as a shell of a man? Did it have an impact on Superman? So many questions.

Still, it's a nice short. I was sure that there would be some more time-traveler intervention to fix this mess. I was surprised - but pleased - at the simpler "rejuvenated by sunlight ending. Sometimes we depend too much on outside intervention to fix these things. I especially enjoyed the "Tempus actually made it worse" twist.

Thanks for posting.
Bob

#92240 12/22/12 01:36 PM
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KenJ Offline OP
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Bob,

Thanks for the FDK!

I may just turn it into a longer piece eventually. I really hadn't considered that before your comments.

It would be a future consideration. I'm currently writing the sequel to Volume 5 of my Matchmaker set so it will probably be a while.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
#92241 12/23/12 03:27 AM
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This is the best story you have written so far. So many elements were introduced and yet they fit neatly together creating a perfectly balanced story.

Sooo glad that other author rejected your plot concept. (Chuckle!) This execution of the idea was much better! thumbsup

I particularly like the idea that Lois was willing to wait ninety years for Clark as well. Now that, my friend is true loyalty!

Rock on!


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
#92242 12/23/12 03:50 AM
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Hi Morgana,

Thanks for the FDK and thanks for your help on this one.

I may, at some future date take up Bob's suggestion and turn this into a larger story.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
#92243 12/23/12 08:47 AM
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You scared me for a minute there. Taking Lois away from Clark for 90 years! whinging And then give her back when he's old and alone. Tempus really is cruel.

Ken! [Linked Image] First you take away the love of Clark's life, then you take away his youth, and on top of all that, you make him lose his hair! How *could* you? As if his life wasn't horrible enough as it was, you *had* to do that too. And here I thought Tempus was cruel. whinging

It was interesting viewpoint to see a young Lois with an older Clark. Usually people show an older Lois with a still young (physically) Clark. It's sad that she thought they couldn't consummate their marriage due to his advanced years (surely if he was strong enough to fly her to Hawaii, he had enough energy for THAT). Guess she didn't want to risk a heart attack. [Linked Image]

I'm surprised that Lois decided to go back to the Daily Planet. I think it would be hard enough to be a reporter being transported 5 years to the future (like in many alt-Lois stories), but 90! But, I guess, knowing Lois, nothing would slow her down. She'd thrill at the challenge.

When Clark disappeared from bed, for a minute I thought he had passed into another plane of existance (like Yoda) upon death. Phew.

How horrible for Lois to then lose Clark, without a goodbye. I thought it a fitting end for him though, going out in a burst of light from the sun. whinging <<120 years and still a virgin.>>

Great little story with many twists and turns. You kept me on the edge of my seat throughout! Great job!


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
#92244 12/23/12 09:44 AM
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KenJ Offline OP
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Virginia,

Thank you so much for the FDK and for pointing out the continuity error.

It was actually an easy fix.

The more people request a longer version the more I'm inclined to work on it.

In the mean time I'm working on the sequel to my current story. I really can't set that aside to work on this.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
#92245 12/23/12 10:26 AM
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I was just thinking, as your story is stuck on my mind now. What would the Lanes think of Lois's disappearance? And the police? Would Clark be accused of her murder and/or disappearance? I can't believe that they would take "she walked into the bathroom and disappeared" as a reseasonable explanation. (Certainly not Ellen!) Nor could would they believe about Tempus or the time window. Poor Clark. whinging You torture him so beautifully.

Did John Doe still come and steal Superman away and try to take over the country and Herb... oh, no, I guess that didn't happen because Clark never saw Herb again.


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
#92246 12/23/12 10:56 AM
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Hmmm. Kenj this story did open a whole can of worms. It will be very interesting to see how these extra plot points might be resolved...


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
#92247 12/23/12 05:47 PM
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Virginia,

Ever since I started getting FDK on this story, particularly since Bob's it has occupied my mind more and more.

You and Bob and Morgana habe asked a lot of questions like 'what about' and 'what wou.d happen?'

Now I have all of these plot bunnies running around in my head.

I'm starting to think that I need to work on two stories at the same time.

I need to do the sequel to volume 5. I will need to do a sequel to volume 6 when 5 is complete and I feel committed to at least the 8 volumes.

Aurora - the full story will take time, but I might just start working on it sooner rather than later.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
#92248 12/23/12 05:55 PM
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Morgana,

I blame you for the fix I am now in. That is if blame there be.

If you had liked that scenario you would be the one with all the plot bunnies. You know how it is with bunnies you start with 2 and before you know it they have multiplied exponentially.

I can foresee a sleepless night ahead.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
#92249 12/23/12 11:30 PM
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:-)!

If there is ANYONE who can tame the bunnies its you! Have fun! dance


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
#92250 12/24/12 09:56 AM
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sweet


Silence is violence. End white supremacy based violence
#92251 12/24/12 12:19 PM
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KenJ Offline OP
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Morgana,

I was only kidding. It was a happy circumstance that led to that scene's creation. Thank you for giving it back to me.

I am going to start working on it this week in parallel with volume 7.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
#92252 12/24/12 12:26 PM
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KenJ Offline OP
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L

Thanks for reading my little story.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
#92253 12/28/12 04:57 AM
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Quote
On his face is a sour expression as couples holding hands
Tempus?

Quote
It was an annoyingly pleasant scene.
Sounds like him.

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There wasn’t even a single piece of litter on the ground.
Hehehe!

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Tempus fumed over the current state of the world.
hyper

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Whatever he came up with, it just had to have an element of irony. God how he loved irony! The more ironic it was the better as far as he was concerned.
Tempus' Kryptonite, the reason why he fails.

Quote
That led to the thought, what if he allowed the union, but prevented the consummation of that union. That would eliminate the possibility of offspring and therefore Utopia. How ironic it would be if …
Oh dear. Creation of the curse?

Quote
She wanted him and she wanted him *NOW*.
And with a man *that* good looking, who can blame her? I'd skip Hawaii too. wink

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Her heartbeat had disappeared.
Making his own stop too.

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His hair was gray and he was balding. His face was etched with lines from years of worry and sorrow.
Mostly, the result of not having Lois and being worried about her.

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Years ago he had purchased the entire building so that he could prevent it from being demolished.
How'd he get so wealthy?

Quote
Suddenly his superhearing caught a sound he had never given up hope of hearing again.
hyper

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“What did you do when I disappeared? Did you get married? How many kids do you have? Why are you so old? What gives?”
There's the Lois we know and love. laugh

Quote
“You won’t mind being seen in the company of a man that looks like he could be your grandfather? Everyone will think I’m rich and you’re after my money.”
laugh

Quote
That had been six months ago and she hadn’t seen Clark since.
Man, they've really been through hell.

Quote
That had been six months ago and she hadn’t seen Clark since.
Super flares gave him back his youth?

Quote
“Dr. Branson, is this a clone or what?”
Offer him a frog and find out? wink

Quote
He counted noses and came up with a different number, seven???
Ironic, isn't it, Tempus?

Quote
He thought to himself, <Now, there’s irony.>
See?


Tempus, Tempus, Tempus. Men can father child all their lives, even when old. You should have kidnapped Clark and let *Lois* age until she was post menopausal. That way, there is *no* way he could father children with her. Yeah, yeah, easier to kidnap Lois and all, I know...

Nice little story, if not really sad in the beginning. Poor Lois and Clark earned all those nights of baby-making!


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

#92254 12/28/12 05:50 AM
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KenJ Offline OP
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DC,

Thanks so much for the FDK. It means a lot to me. laugh

I'm glad you liked my little story. party

A note to the readers: I've started working on an expanded version of this story as was suggested by my readers, unfortunately it will take some time to complete since I will be working on it in parallel with my Matchmaker set.

It has already doubled in size and promises to be 20 to 25 chapters when complete. jawdrop


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
#92255 12/28/12 06:13 AM
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Ken, love, you know I love you, but you are trying to kill me, 20 t0 25 chapters- have mercy (ok, you write it, I read it). whinging


"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
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