TOC This story is definately rated PG13 for sexual undertones. It's really nothing more than you'd see on Friends or some other show on TV today, but read at your own risk.
AKA Clark Kent Part 2
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A plan. She needed a plan.
The key to a successful attack was always a foolproof plan.
But she didn't have one. Yet.
Why was this so hard? She'd been planning to meet Superman and win his heart for years.
How hadn't that foolproof plan materialized?
Because she hadn't been trying hard enough!
Maybe Doris had been on the right track.
As much as it pained her to imagine using such a plebeian method, Penny was getting desperate. Maybe she should consider its merits.
Meeting Superman wouldn't be as easy as she had anticipated. She couldn't think properly in the large, empty office, so she decided to head home to her apartment.
Why hadn't she thought this through?
Sure, she had always *known* she would marry Superman. That had always been a given. But first she had to meet him. Obviously. Even someone as clueless as Doris had realized that.
Oh how stupid was she? Even though she had tried to convince Doris otherwise, she had no idea how she would meet Superman.
A plan. She needed a plan, a foolproof plan!
Meeting Superman should be easy. He was an attractive man, she was an attractive woman -- theirs would be a magnetic attraction.
All she needed to do was arrange an event where they would be at the same place at the same time. Then she would let nature take its course. But actually finding the perfect meeting place was a bit tricky.
Doris had been right. Surely, it would be easy to stage a horrific accident. He was bound to show up. It was foolproof, but it just didn't seem . . . classy.
Was that the way she wanted to meet her future husband for the first time? It wasn't exactly . . . romantic.
True, tricking him was definitely foolproof, but was it the best way to start their life together? The best relationships were based on trust and honesty. Or pure passionate lust -- and her relationship with Superman certainly had that.
Of course it had the potential to be an amazing first meeting. A hero saving the heroine in need . . . a legend in the making.
He would save her from a gory demise, plucking her from the jaws of death. As he flew away with her cradled in his powerful arms, their eyes would meet. Sparks would fly between them and they both would know true love for the first time. It would be the fairy-tale beginning to a love affair to remember.
Their romance would be a story told throughout history. It would be an epic romance between two exceptional individuals. Robin Hood and Maid Marion, Sir Lancelot and Queen Guinevere, John and Jackie Kennedy, and Romeo and Juliet couldn't hold a candle to Superman and his beloved Penny.
She took a deep breath. Aah, it would be incredible. Once Superman found and fell in love with her, she wouldn't be working as a stupid secretary at stupid Diticom any more. She would be Mrs. Superman.
Mrs. Superman -- that had an incredible ring to it! Mrs. Penny Superman.
Yes, a love affair made in heaven.
Only one important obstacle remained: meeting her lover boy.
She had to be above staging an accident. What would Superman think of her if he found out that her accident was staged? Would he be able to love her the same way?
Of course he would. He was Superman, Mr. Perfect. Any woman would be lucky to have someone so kind, so good, so honest, so pure. He didn't have a flaw; he was a living Adonis. Of course he would always love her no matter what. They were meant for each other.
Mmmmmm, Superman -- absolute perfection.
Oh how would she meet him? How else could she contact him to initiate their love? How else could she meet him?
Actually, what did she even really know about him beyond the fact that he was absolutely perfect?
Well, she was sure of one thing: Superman was a man with primal needs and desires. And she would be the woman to satisfy those desires -- no matter what.
What else did she know about Superman?
Superman. The Man of Steel, with real needs and desires. But how would he express those needs and feelings? Did it really matter? Penny Barnes was willing to make Superman's every whim and desire a reality.
For a man like Superman, she would do anything he asked her. Yes, when she said anything, she meant anything. Even though she had no idea what she would be getting herself into, knowing it was with Superman made anything worthwhile. She had no idea what she would be getting herself into, but knowing it would be with Superman made anything worthwhile.
She was slightly worried because he was an alien. Could he be intimate with a human woman?
Yes, of course he could. Someone that looked so human couldn't be a different species.
Even though she didn't know much about her hero, she was sure he was definitely a potent man specimen. Someone that looked *that* good had to be virile.
The spandex suit he wore was possibly a little more revealing than even he knew. It left little to her imagination. Yes, he definitely had all the . . . plumbing . . . of a real man. She was sure that he was a man in every sense of the word -- a very well endowed man at that.
Hmm, that suit. That wonderful, smooth, shiny spandex suit . . . Her mind created a picture of her hand trailing along the S shield tracing the pattern around his hard, muscular chest and . . .
Before she had completely driven herself into the gutter, she was struck by an intriguing question. Did the spandex come off?
Somehow, she had trouble picturing Superman without the blue, red, and yellow suit. He had to have skin under it, though. It wasn't like it was glued on or something, right? Um, duh, of course it wasn't. That didn't even make sense.
After all, if it never came off, how would he ever be able to do any routine bodily functions? How else would he be able to shower after a smelly rescue? She seriously doubted that he sweated, but many of his rescues took place in chemical plants or toxic waste dumps. He would have to take a shower if he wanted to get himself clean. Plus, he would have to take the suit off to wash it.
Unless . . .
Maybe one of his unknown powers was some kind of self-cleaning function. Like if he got dirty or smelly or something, maybe there was something that automatically cleaned him and his clothes. Maybe it was like a car's windshield wiper system or something.
How cool! A self-cleaning man. She could probably patent his technology and make millions of dollars marketing it.
Unfortunately, it was highly improbable.
Then again, if Superman could fly, maybe he did have windshield wipers. Improbability was no longer a word in her vocabulary.
And for other functions . . .
If he was a real man, he would need to remove the suit to satisfy his needs. And judging from some pictures she'd seen on the internet, he definitely was . . . a real man.
But how did the suit come off? When she met him for the first time, that would be a skill she would definitely need. Wouldn't he be proud of her if she instantly knew how to remove his suit?
The cape, shirt, briefs, and tights looked like one fluid suit. But why would he need a cape? It didn't work like wings, obviously. The cape seemed ornamental on his suit.
Could it be hiding something? Like maybe a rocket pack that propelled him to ultrasonic speeds. Or maybe it was hiding a tail or something. Did Kryptonians have tails? That would be too weird.
She was about fifty percent sure he wasn't hiding a rocket pack under the cape, and maybe seventy-five percent sure he didn't have a tail.
No, he didn't have a tail. Of course he didn't have a tail.
No, really, he didn't have a tail. Seriously, if he had a tail, surely someone would have seen it by now. It would have been in some tabloid newspaper at some point.
Good, Superman didn't have a tail. Now that was satisfied -- and she was about ninety-five percent sure of it.
What about wings? Could he be hiding wings?
No. He didn't have wings. Someone would have definitely seen them already when he flew. It wasn't *that* easy to hide large flapping wings under a loose, flowing cape.
But if he wasn't hiding a tail or wings and probably wasn’t hiding a rocket pack, what could he be hiding?
Oh, the cape would be the perfect place to hide the mechanism to remove the suit.
What if it was something as simple as a zipper? It would be easily hidden under that large cape. Yes, of course that's where a zipper would be hidden. And it made perfect sense. If he needed to take the suit off, that would be the best solution!
She would love to be the woman who slowly reached up along Superman's back and slowly reach up behind her back and slowly ease the zipper down until the entire suit fell off. And she would see his incredibly beautiful, smooth, muscular chest and run her hand around his hard pectoral muscles slowly easing her hand down his stomach and even further . . .
Before she knew it, she had drifted off to sleep, pleasantly dreaming about the love of her life. She still didn't have any semblance of a plan to meet her lover, but now she had a definite plan for his seduction. If he didn't fall in love with her at first sight, she would win him over by the end of their first night together.
Was she a little obsessed? Sure, a little obsession never hurt anyone. She was going to stop at nothing to win the man of her dreams.
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As Clark's eyes eased open, he was assaulted by streams of light.
Where had the darkness gone?
Maybe he had actually fallen asleep at some point -- possibly longer than he had realized.
It was morning, the beginning of a new day, full of promise. It was the fresh start that he had been looking for. He would atone for everything that had happened yesterday and they would end their long separation as soon as they resolved their problems.
He desperately needed to talk to her.
Clark would admit he was at fault. He would tell her that he was an idiot, that he was desperately in love with her. He just hoped it would work -- and he wouldn't blame Lois if she didn't forgive him. What he had done was absolutely unforgivable.
He flipped over to look at his wife, hoping to catch a glimpse of her beautiful sleeping face.
But she wasn't there.
Her side of the bed was cold and empty. She had been gone for a while. She probably couldn't stand to be in the same bed with him. Why had he thought anything else? Lois was still mad at him. He would never be able to make up for what he had done to her last night -- for the compilation of everything he had done to her in their marriage.
Yes, it was morning: the beginning of yet another day of his agony. She was still mad at him; he knew it. His worldly desires would have to wait.
Where was Lois? She couldn't have left him before they could talk . . . right? She would give him the chance to apologize profusely, to try to make up for what he had done . . . right? Then where was she?
He frantically scanned their bedroom for any sign that she had left him. Her clothes were still hanging neatly in the closet. The book that she had been reading was still on the stand next to the bed. She couldn't have left him. Unless she had decided that she needed to leave quickly figuring she would be able to get her things later.
Clark was jumping off the deep end assuming the worst. With everything he had done recently, he wouldn't blame her in the slightest if she had decided to leave him this morning.
Suddenly, a flash of light caught his eye, interrupting his wallowing, and he turned towards the light source. There was a package on the dresser wrapped in shiny, reflective red paper with a large blue bow on top.
He slowly got out of bed to explore the box. It was perfectly wrapped -- Lois had probably gotten it done professionally -- and the bow was meticulously placed so it held a small piece of paper. The paper had a short message written in Lois's familiar handwriting.
"Happy Birthday, Clark," he read aloud.
Right, it was his birthday. He had almost completely forgotten about it. It reminded him again of the celebration Lois had planned for last night. Maybe she didn't hate him after all. She had drawn a little heart next to his name. Or maybe she had written this note before the events of last night.
He continued reading, "Here's your first present. Open it before you come downstairs. P.S. I was planning to give you this one last night." She had written the note this morning -- maybe the little heart next to his name was a sign that she wasn't as mad at him as he had thought. But it was completely out of character for her not to be at least a little bit mad about his behavior of late. He couldn't have escaped his wife's fury. If the tables were turned, he knew he would not be happy. Therefore, he couldn't blame Lois at all if she was mad at him -- if she never talked to him again -- if she left him.
Clark groaned softly. This present was yet another reminder of what he had missed last night. He hated himself so much right now -- and he hadn't even opened the gift yet.
Did he actually want to open it? It would serve as another reminder of everything that had gone wrong.
Why hadn't he looked at it yet? He had x-ray vision, so he didn't even need to open the package to know what was inside. His vision gizmo was really strange -- he had to consciously decide to use his vision powers before he could use them. Since he hadn't told his eyes to look into the package, he hadn't seen its contents. He didn't want to see what he had missed.
Instead of further deliberation, he carefully untied the bow and slowly ran his finger under the tape that held the wrapping paper in place. He slowly, deliberately pulled the paper away from the box, sighing as he saw the store's logo.
Ambiance: the Store for Lovers.
She had planned to give him this gift last night. Now he wasn't sure if he actually wanted to open the box. It would make him regret leaving even more.
Clark bit his lower lip, steeling himself to look at the contents of the box. It was his fault that he hadn't gotten to see it last night. He deserved to punish himself by seeing exactly what he had missed.
As he slowly eased the lid off the box, his breath caught in his chest. She knew him so well -- it was exactly the item he had described to her as his ultimate fantasy.
What an idiot he had been. *This* had been part of Lois's surprise. She had been planning to give him his greatest fantasy. And he had missed it. He was ready to hit himself as his mind pictured exactly what would have happened last night. The contents of the box would have led to a night to remember instead of a night he desperately wanted to forget.
It was red. And silky. And lacy. And tiny . . .
He ran his hand over the soft material and then pulled it out to examine it more closely. Clark groaned appreciatively as his fingers passed over the soft lace negligee and held it at arms length picturing Lois wearing it, her smooth, white skin glistening against the shimmering red fabric . . .
She had been planning to wear this last night.
And he had missed it for a stupid celebrity softball game.
Oh, he was such an idiot! He hadn't even enjoyed himself last night. The evening had started out with such promise -- and now he knew it would have been the most exciting night of his life.
After he had left, he had been beating himself up, second guessing his choice to leave. If he hadn't been positive before, now he was sure that he had made the wrong choice. The softball game, forget it! The charity would have survived without him. He should have been at home experiencing the realization of his greatest fantasy instead of spending time with stupid, egoistical celebrities.
He knew Lois wouldn't want to reenact her plan for last night, especially after everything that had happened. And he couldn't expect her to or even ask her to forget last night. Regardless, he needed to talk to her, to tell her how wrong he had been, how sorry he was. He needed to tell her how much he loved her, needed her, and longed for her. He never wanted to leave her again.
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I'd appreciate any comments and criticism
. Even if you totally hated it, please post
here and tell me why and what was wrong so I can try to fix it.
