Next part on Wednesday!
Thank you again Nancy (anonpip), Rel and Michael!
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Both Sides of the CoinPart 20
TOC Rachel jumped to her feet. “CJ!” she exclaimed as she rushed into his arms and hugged him tightly.
Lois looked carefully at CJ. “So all you cared about was Clark?”
CJ frowned at her. “No... But I was content without...”
Rachel leaned her head on his shoulder. “It doesn’t matter...”
Lois raised a brow. “It doesn’t matter?”
Rachel and CJ ignored her for a few moments as they silently comforted each other. Finally, CJ stepped away from his wife, “Lois, I don’t have to justify myself to you. You’re my brother’s girlfriend...” He looked away for a moment. “I just can’t do this... It was so close the other day... If I had gotten there earlier and gone in...” His eyes snapped back to her. “You *did* get hurt...”
Lois sighed. “I hate to break it to you, CJ, but that wasn’t very abnormal for me. If it had been the bomb squad going in there a year ago I probably would have done the same thing...”
CJ shook his head. “But that was a *test* designed specifically for Superman...”
Lois frowned. “So... You’re going to let Luthor win then?”
Rachel stepped between them. “That’s enough... It’s not about winning or losing. The important thing is that if CJ is uncomfortable with this then he should stop...”
Lois looked at the couple for a long moment. “I haven’t seen Clark in his suit much, but I have read his stories... They affect people’s opinions and thoughts just like the ideal of ‘Superman’ can affect their actions. It’s the same drive that got me started in journalism. The world needs a hero, an example. It doesn’t matter if this hero is perfect. It just matters that he’s there. Every spark of hope that is lit, every criminal off the streets, every bit of corruption that is overturned, every life saved... means more than anything that could have happened. And at the times when it isn’t enough, you have to find a way to turn the experience around... for Clark I would say write an article. Look at Samuel Platt. He was murdered while trying to save the space program. Clark and I helped to get his voice heard after his death so that the catastrophe he feared never occurred.”
“And you stopped the bomb that would have killed his wife and daughter, Jay.” They all turned to see Clark, still in his suit, walking over to stand beside Lois.
CJ bit his lip. “Cal...”
Clark held up a hand. “Jay... I honestly don’t *care* if you want to be Superman or not... It’s your choice. I think, with Lois’ help, I can do this by myself. I want you to be *happy*... and obviously you weren’t yesterday.” Clark suddenly seemed to spin in place. He stopped in his suit from work and casually slipped on his glasses. “But just so you know... the tests are finished.”
“How?!” Lois gasped, grabbing his arm.
“I went to face Luthor... and I got him to back down.”
The others stared at Clark in shock.
CJ recovered first and shook his head. “I always knew you would be dangerous if you ever lost your temper, Cal...” He took a deep breath. “And Cal? I’m sorry for worrying you...”
Clark grabbed his twin in a hug. “Just don’t do it again... *Talk* to me, Jay!”
***************************
CJ paced back and forth in his living room. After being chewed out some more by his twin Lois and Clark had left for dinner... which left Rachel free to phone his parents to tell them he was home. That had earned him another lecture on worrying his family. CJ smiled to himself for a moment. Only Lois had really called him on the reason for his... retreat...
He knew Rachel agreed with her... She had wanted to be a cop all her life so she had the same drive as Clark and Lois. But his wife would never push him. Rachel had always advised him whenever he asked but she never tried to influence him directly... It was the same reason she had never put up a fight when they had been drifting apart in college. She had told him she missed him... but she had never told him to come home.
CJ flopped back onto the couch and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He took off his glasses and looked at them for a long moment. It was funny that no one had ever noticed that he and Clark’s glasses failed to distort anything... They were leaded glass... meant to block penetrating vision and nothing else.
These simple panes of glass were symbols of all that he and Clark were, how they hid from the world so that they could fit in with the other inhabitants of this planet.
He still couldn’t believe *Clark* had faced down Luthor...
CJ sighed and lay down, staring up at the ceiling. Rachel was asleep but he couldn’t get Lois’ impassioned words out of his head. He had told Clark he would give him his suits the next day... and he had felt Rachel’s disappointment.
CJ thought back to the space shuttle. He smiled as he remembered Lois’ shocked face as he popped the bomb into his mouth... Little did he and Clark know at the time that she had recognized him instantly.
He was a cosmologist... he studied how the universe was born and how it grew... He knew how important that space station was on so many levels... not just the immediate medical potentials...
But what he remembered most was that little girl asking him if he could teach her to fly... That little girl would have died if he and Clark hadn’t existed.
A little girl who, for all he knew, might do anything now that she had a chance to heal and to grow...
Would he change that?
No, but could he keep being Superman?
Maybe he was asking the wrong question... Could he *stop* being Superman? Could he stop listening to the screams that seemed to resonate through him?
CJ’s mind diverted to that... It was like he and Clark picked up on some psychic signal humans let out when they were in trouble... and considering the telepathy that had developed between them and certain humans it was an idea...
CJ shook himself. He didn’t need to go off into the puzzle of his physiology now...
The question was, now that he was hearing or sensing or whatever people’s fear and danger... could he ignore it? Could he turn it off? Did he really want to? He was terrified of causing more harm than good... like he had as Charlie King...
As if on cue a scream shot through his consciousness. He extended his hearing and managed to hear the arrival of his twin.
Clark believed he could be Superman by himself. And CJ had to admit to himself that now that Lois knew his secret, he was probably right. Lois could help him cover for his absences...
Maybe the real question was: Could he really just give up?
***************************
The next day Lois and Clark rushed out to a press conference. In Clark’s hand was the day’s newspaper. The front page showed a picture of Superman. The headline was ‘A HERO’S STORY’ by Lois Lane and Clark Kent. Clark looped his arm around Lois’ shoulder as they walked. “So I think the interview turned out pretty well...”
Lois poked him. “Cute, Kent...”
A scream echoed near them, they looked across the street and saw a billboard hanging on only one cable, swinging wildly. Lois’ eyes widened as a little girl ran under the sign. Clark pulled away from her... only to freeze as Superman swooped down and gently unhooked the billboard, laying it on the ground.
<Jay?>
<CJ?>
<You all asked me the wrong question... It was never ‘Can I keep going?’ It was ‘Can I really stop now that I’ve started?’>
***************************
CJ looked up, the red sunset stretched across the Kansas sky. He and Rachel had come out for a visit to their families after the stress of the last few days.
A sound behind him made him turn. ‘Superman’ slowly walked forward. “Jay? Are you really okay?”
CJ sighed. “Yeah, Cal... I’m fine. That bomb... Seeing Lois hurt like that... All I could see was Rachel in her place...” He took a deep breath. “But that’s not the real reason...”
Clark, now in normal clothes, sat on a nearby fence. “Charlie King...”
CJ frowned. “Yeah... I’m still afraid that this is going to explode in our faces just like that did... But, even more... I’m *not* driven to help people like you are, Cal...”
Clark frowned. “I know... and like I said you don’t...”
“Cal! I think... while I may not feel the need to help, maybe it’s something I need to do...” He frowned. “As a scientist, it’s sometimes too easy to turn to the analytical side of myself... to step back from the humane gut instinct and rationalize things away that I shouldn’t...”
“Do whatever you want with ‘Superman.’” Clark grabbed him in a hug. “Just don’t *ever* disappear on me like that again!”
***************************
Back home the next day, CJ cautiously approached his wife. “Rach...”
She turned and smiled at him. “How are you feeling today, CJ?”
He took a deep breath. “I was stupid, Rach...”
“True... but it was very *human* of you.”
He cracked a smile. “I shouldn’t have just disappeared...”
Rachel sighed. “You panicked CJ... there was no *thought* about it...”
CJ hung his head.
“...but that’s okay... You’re allowed to screw up... and you came to me when I really needed you to. I knew there were things bothering you and I didn’t want to push... I also knew that you not talking to Clark was a mistake...”
“It was more than that: I was doing this whole Superman thing... as a favor to Clark... I know now... if that’s my reason, I shouldn’t do it...”
“Is it still your reason?”
“No... I thought about what Lois said...” He gave her a slight smile. “And what I knew you *wanted* to say but didn’t...”
Rachel smiled. “You know me too well...”
CJ pulled her into his arms. “I was so worried about someone getting hurt because I messed up... Clark’s been saving people in secret for *years.* He knows his limits... I’m learning them now...”
“Because you never wanted to test yourself before...”
“Yeah, you know how much I wanted to just be normal...”
“And you are CJ, normal for you and Clark...”
“Not my point, Rach... but anyway... add to that my worries about getting exposed like we almost did when I accepted that government contract... and that wasn’t even about the whole alien thing!”
“Well, it was treated as treason, CJ... That would have been pretty big...”
“Right... But you know from the time we were kids my biggest fear was someone finding out...”
“And yet you *showed* me everything as soon as you realized you didn’t have to hide from me after you slipped out of that tree...”
“You weren’t ‘someone’... You were my Rach...”
“Even then?”
“I never defined it then but yeah... even then.”
“You also told Poppa and Randy...”
“They had a right to know... I know Clark is already wondering when and how to tell Lois’ sister...”
“Speaking of, did you hire her?”
“Yeah, she’s really smart, though she tries to down-play it...”
Rachel smiled. “Everything will be fine CJ... Now, I missed you the last few nights... First you were emotionally drained... then you had your thinking to do... then we were at your parent’s...”
CJ grinned at his wife and carried her off.
***************************
Lois was reading in her apartment. With the last week’s events she had found herself that much more determined to find *something* on Luthor. The man had put people in danger without a second thought.
A new sound made her look up. She found ‘Superman’ gently floating through her window. “Hey...”
She went to him and wrapped him in her arms. “Everything ok?”
Clark sighed and leaned gratefully into her arms. “Getting there... CJ seems to be fine... he’s still sorting everything out in his head like he always does...”
“It will be ok, Clark...”
“I know... I just wish he had talked to me when all this started...” Clark leaned his forehead down onto hers.
“He didn’t want to... You just proved you *both* have guilt complexes...”
Clark chuckled weakly. “I guess...”
Lois silenced him with a kiss.
“Oh my God!”
The couple jerked apart and Lois turned wide eyes to her sister. She swayed slightly as she noticed that not only was her sister there but Jimmy was staring in shock behind her.
Lois swallowed. “Lucy... Jimmy...”
Lucy cut in, “Lois! I thought you were happy with Clark! How could you?”
Jimmy shut the door behind him, his face for once closed.
“I am Clark, Lucy.”
Lois turned to stare at her boyfriend in shock. <Clark?>
He smiled at her then, doing his spin move, he changed into normal clothes. <It’s ok, Lois... If you and I are as serious as I think we will be... I would have needed to tell Lucy anyway...>
<Serious...?>
<Yeah... serious.>
“CK?!” Jimmy goggled at him, “But... I’ve seen you and Superman...”
“Jimmy, you’ve seen me and *CJ*... We’re both ‘Superman’...” Clark smiled tiredly. “And I’m sorry this had to be sprung on you two so suddenly.”
Lois noticed his exhaustion. “Clark, go home... I know you don’t need much sleep but I can tell you’re exhausted... go sleep.”
Clark sighed and placed a kiss on her lips. “Ok, Honey...” He spun into his suit and left.
Lois stared after him, “He must have *really* been tired to let *that* slip...”
Lucy giggled, reminding her sister of her company. Turning to them Lois frowned. “Well, it would be better for you two to hear this from Clark or CJ... but I guess it’s up to me. Let’s see, 27 years ago Martha and Jonathan Kent were driving down the road when they saw what they thought was a meteor...”
***************************
The next day at the Planet Lois and Clark were typing up a fairly routine corruption piece. Jimmy scrambled up, a new stack of papers in his hands. “Here’s that research you two wanted!”
Clark stiffened suddenly, hearing several sirens. <CJ?>
<Tied... Why does Lucy keep staring at me?>
Clark looked at Lois. “My turn...” he smiled at Jimmy and rushed for the stairs. <She walked in on Lois and me kissing last night...>
<And that is special how?>
<I was in my Suit...>
<Oh... Well, that... Clark! You have to be more careful!>
<Jimmy was there, too...>
<You’re kidding?!>
<Nope... Sorry, Jay...>
Clark grinned at his brother’s curses rang in his head as he took to the air.
Back in the building, Jimmy watched Clark leave, shaking his head.
Lois smiled at him, “He’s so lucky that I know where he’s going... Otherwise I would have to kill him for leaving me holding the bag...”
Jimmy grinned, “I guess so...”
tbc....
