Okay, I had one little thing I wanted Sue to look at first - but I think she's out of pocket today - and I really think it's okay and I had the green light from her before I made that itsy bitsy change. So we should be good to go.
<DJ clamps hand over her mouth to cease her babbling>
Enjoy!!! Oh and don't forget to see the note at the bottom - but don't read it till you're done, it might spoil something... <g>
Table of Contents ************
From Part 17
************
Lois noticed Clark perk up, like he was listening to something – and soon, she heard it too. She sat up a little straighter and wiped the sleep from her eyes. “Clark, are those police sirens?”
He sighed softly. “Yes.”
She looked at him inquisitively. “Well, aren’t you gonna...” She made a flying motion with her hand.
“Yeah.” He stood up from the couch and then turned to face her. “But I’ve never hated to leave you as much as I do right now.” He bent down and kissed her softly. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He paused to kiss her again. “I love you.”
“I know.” She smiled. “I love you, too. I’ll be waiting for you.”
He went to her window and picked up a familiar red and blue bundle from the floor. He spun into his suit and in the blink of an eye he was standing in front of her - his cape billowing behind him from the window he had opened in the process.
He was holding something out to her.
She took it from him and realized it was his t-shirt and sleep shorts.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
*************
PART EIGHTEEN
*************
It had been almost an hour and Clark still wasn’t back yet. Lois had been writing feverishly in her journal trying to capture everything she had learned and experienced today – tonight. But now her hand was cramping and her eyes were tired. She needed a break.
Picking up her TV remote, she turned the TV on and started flipping through the news channels hoping to find out what Clark had gone to help out with. It must have been big.
She soon had her answer.
She wasn’t sure what the police sirens had been about or what he had initially gone to help with but, right now, he was in Japan. A fault-line there had suffered a major earthquake just minutes earlier. Initial reports had it coming in at seven-point-three on the Richter scale. And that wasn’t counting the after-shocks they would no doubt suffer.
Apparently, right now, what they were most concerned about was that the portion of the fault-line that had been affected ran under the ocean floor. The initial earthquake didn’t seem to have caused any seismic activity in the ocean so far, but that could change as the after-shocks began to hit.
Superman was there, helping out where he could and waiting to see what was still to come. The extent of the damage wasn’t yet known. It looked like Clark could end up being over there most of the night.
Lois let out a sigh. This is what she had been thinking about earlier – having to share him with the world. She reached up and touched her lips, remembering the way he had kissed her and held her... remembering how much he loved her. The sparkle from her ring caught her eye and a delighted shiver ran through her.
Her initial thought had been right. It was worth it – he was worth it.
A hard yawn caught her and she stretched through the end of it. She was so tired. But she wasn’t going to fall asleep, not until Clark got back. Part of her wondered if she could just take a little nap. Did she have to get into deep REM sleep before she lost her memories? Her journal said that Dr. Peterson thought it happened during sleep when the brain was trying to convert short-term memories to long-term. Maybe if she just took a short catnap she would be okay?
No. It wasn’t worth the risk.
In fact, part of her wanted to just stay up all night. Maybe if she never went to sleep she wouldn’t lose her memories?
She frowned. It was a nice thought, but she could only go without sleep for so long. She would make it tonight though. She had to. She wanted to see Clark again before the memories were gone.
Lois went into her kitchen and got out her coffee and a filter. If she was going to stay up, she was going to need caffeine. She started the coffee pot and then went back to the living room to sit down and review what she had written in her journal.
After a few minutes of reviewing her notes and not thinking of anything she needed to add, her eyes drifted over to her memory box on the coffee table. She picked it up and sat it on her lap. The Nirvana notes that Clark had laid inside caught her eye first.
She pulled the notes and bottle from the box before setting it down on the floor. She set the bottle on the coffee table and then eased back into her loveseat to see if she could make any sense out of the notes.
They might as well have been written in Chinese. She couldn’t make heads or tails out of them. Perhaps because of her father, she hadn’t had much interest in science – particularly medicine. So she doubted that she was going to find anything particularly useful by continuing to stare at the gibberish on the notes.
She was just about to drop the notes back into the box when one sentence caught her attention.
‘The chemical reaction causes a honey color to develop in the liquid.’
Honey color? Why did that seem so familiar? She closed her eyes, grasping at the memory that was trying to elude her. Honey...
What was it?
Maybe she was just thinking about Clark using that word earlier. Lois smiled and felt a little thrill at the thought of him calling her ‘honey’. She couldn’t wait to hear him say it again.
The thought gave her a warm and fuzzy feeling that caused her to relax comfortably into the loveseat. She smiled as she glanced at the t-shirt and shorts lying next to her. The soft cotton shirt called out for her to touch it and she ran one hand across its smooth surface. She let her mind drift to Clark – wondering what he was doing right this moment... and how soon he would be back.
Lois yawned and she could feel her eyelids beginning to fall – it was time to drink some coffee. She got up and went into the kitchen and poured herself a cup. As she took her first warming drink, she glanced at the ‘to do’ list on her refrigerator door. It was also time for her to take her medicine. She’d better do it before she forgot.
She went into her bathroom and opened her medicine cabinet. She located the brown plastic pill bottle and opened it. It felt light. She looked inside and realized there was only one capsule left. Well, it was just a sample, she reasoned, Dr. Peterson would probably give her a refill tomorrow. She tipped the bottle upside down and shook the last liquid-filled capsule into the palm of her hand.
A honey colored capsule.
The room felt like it was spinning and Lois grabbed for the counter in front of her to steady herself.
Images flashed through her mind. She was at STAR Labs. Dr. Klein was standing in his laboratory, holding a glass beaker of liquid. He swirled it around and stuck a dropper down into the liquid. It was honey colored. He was telling her and Clark about his experiments with Nirvana.
Lois let go of the counter and backed away to sit down on the side of her tub.
No.
No, it couldn’t be. And yet, it would explain so much.
She needed to tell Clark. Lois got up from where she sat and ran to the open window in her living room. She stuck her head outside and the wind blew softly through her hair causing a few strands to dance in front of her vision. Her mouth opened, prepared to call for Superman, but after a moment’s hesitation she closed it and stepped back from the window.
Clark was halfway around the world. He’d never hear her – and even if he could, it wasn’t fair to call him away like that. This wasn’t life or death. Those people over there needed him.
Lois turned and looked at her journal still sitting where she had left it on her loveseat. She would write everything down. That way if she did fall asleep and forget, or if the drug took over and made her forget, there would still be a record of it. As she walked towards the loveseat, she noticed Clark’s clothes on the chair by the window.
Clark had obviously planned on returning.
But what if he was gone all night? What if he decided to go home first and clean up before coming back here? What if he decided not to come back here tonight because he didn’t want to risk waking her up or something? Just because he had clothes here didn’t mean he had to come back here. He had said he would, but if he was gone all night...
She stopped her inner monologue and took a breath. Maybe she should call his apartment and leave him a message, just in case. She didn’t want to leave anything to chance.
Lois changed direction and went over to pick up her phone. She dialed Clark’s number and waited for his machine to pick up. What should she say?
His friendly voice started speaking and she waited impatiently for the beep, feeling her own urgency increase in spite of his folksy charm.
“Hi, Clark? This is Lois. I’m not sure if you’ll come back here first or not and this can’t wait. I need you to know something about Nirvana. I was looking at Dr. Klein's notes... I think it’s the drug that Dr. Peterson has me taking. I can’t be sure and I know it sounds crazy but they’re both the same color. I think they are, anyway. We need to have Dr. Klein take a look at the sample we have and compare it to my pills. So if you get this message before you come here... just... please come as soon as you get this. I love you. Bye.”
Lois looked down at the capsule she still held in her hand. She walked over to her coffee table and grabbed the bottle of Nirvana before heading into her kitchen. She took a plate out of one cabinet and grabbed a knife before setting everything down on her counter top. Taking her capsule firmly between two fingers, she set it on the plate and sliced through it with the knife. She tipped the bottle of Nirvana just enough to dribble a small sample on the other side of the plate.
The samples looked exactly the same. She picked up the plate and held it under her nose. There wasn’t much of a smell – a little bit of a medicinal smell – but they also seemed to smell the same. Part of her was tempted to stick her finger into each substance and touch it to her tongue but she knew better. The drug was far too powerful - she would never take another drop of it again.
She needed to show this to Clark when he got here. With his vision and sense of smell, he’d be able to tell even better than she would. In fact, he could probably do the taste test – it shouldn’t affect *him*.
Lois put the lid back on the bottle and opened a drawer, pulling out her plastic wrap. After tearing a sheet off, she covered the plate and set it on her kitchen table. Lois grabbed the bottle from her counter, then made her way back into her living room and picked up her journal before sitting down to write in it again.
When she had finished her notations, she picked the Nirvana notes up from the couch and slid them inside her journal before closing it.
She was so tired. The initial rush of adrenaline that had coursed through her veins when she had made her discovery was long gone. And even though she had drunk a couple cups of coffee already, it didn’t seem to be doing much to wake her up. Her eyes had closed and her head had nodded more than once as she had written her notes.
It would probably be a good idea to get up and pace for a little while, move around. Maybe she should get another cup of coffee...
But her mind was so hazy and her body felt so heavy that even the stiff cushions of her loveseat felt comfy. She’d close her eyes for just a minute. Only a minute.
************
A noise at the window and a flutter of air woke Lois from her light sleep. She looked up to see Superman lowering himself down through the open window.
“Clark! You’re back!” She jumped up from the couch and ran to him, realizing part of the way there that he looked horrible. His eyes were dark and sunken, his hair was mussed from its usual swept back and gelled style, he had black smudges of soot on his skin and clothing, and there were some snags and tears in his cape.
He tried to smile at her but it fell flat and betrayed the events of the night.
“What happened?” she asked quietly, walking up and laying her hands against his chest softly. His suit was probably ruined. She didn’t see how any amount of soap or chemicals were going to get those stains out. Upon closer inspection she realized that some of the dark stains bore a striking resemblance to something she’d rather not think about. “Clark? Are you okay?”
She reached out and took his hand in hers. She started to come towards him, intending to give him a hug, but he held out his hand to stop her. “I’ll get you dirty.”
“I’ll wash later,” she assured him, wanting to make contact with him.
Clark sighed softly and wrapped his arms around her, letting his chin rest on her shoulder. His body was tight and tense but as her body came in contact with his, she could feel him begin to relax. “It was bad... all those people...” his voice wasn’t much above a whisper. His arms tightened their hold on her and she reached up with one hand to stroke the back of his head.
She needed to tell him about her pills... but not yet, not right now. He needed her right now. “I know,” she murmured softly, “but you did all that you could. You saved as many as you could.”
“But not enough. Not nearly enough. There were people trapped under rubble, pinned by furniture... crushed beneath collapsed buildings. I couldn’t save them all...” His voice broke off and his body shuddered.
Wanting to comfort him, even in some small way, Lois brought her other hand up to his back and rubbed it gently as she continued to smooth her fingers through his soft locks.
“There was this one little girl... when I found her, it was too late. I had to bring her body to her parents...”
“Shhhh,” she soothed. “You gave them some peace, didn’t you? At least they have her body and they can give her a proper burial. It’s over now, Clark. You’re here. You did more than anyone else could have. You saved the lives of hundreds. Saved so many other families from that kind of grief.” She gave him a soft squeeze. “It’s okay. You’re home now.”
Is this how it would be? Being married to him? Would she have to see him come home like this, emotionally battered and drained from the things he had experienced?
Yes... but not always. There would be plenty of nights where she would simply lie in his arms and let the sound of his breathing gently lull her to sleep – let the soft caresses of his hands on her body relax her until she let go and fell asleep in his arms.
There would be those nights. But there would also be nights like tonight. Nights where she would have to be strong for him. Times when she would need to soothe and comfort him - help him find the peace to sleep.
And that’s what she would do tonight. He had asked to simply hold her tonight, but the truth now was that he needed her to hold him. She would find a way to ease his spirit and quiet his thoughts. When she had successfully managed that, then she would tell him about Nirvana.
“Come on,” she stepped away from him and took his hand in hers, “let’s clean you up a little.”
He looked like he wanted to argue, but he didn’t. He didn’t seem to have enough left in him to protest being led into her bedroom. She sat him down on the end of her bed and knelt down to pull of his boots.
“Lois, let me, I can do this much faster...”
“This isn’t about speed,” she interrupted. “Now, be quiet and let me help you, okay?” She looked up to see him smiling softly at her – his eyes glassy with emotion.
She removed his boots one at a time and set them on the floor next to her bed. It took her a few seconds to figure out how to extricate his cape from his suit but she soon had it unfastened and removed. She left it in a heap on the floor – they could decide later if he wanted to try and clean it or not.
Lois had discovered the zipper for his suit while she was working on the cape. She felt her breath catch slightly in her chest as she stood in front of him and reached around to take hold of the tab. The zipper slid smoothly down his back, guided by her fingers, until it stopped near his waist. She turned around to walk away and Clark’s hand came out to stop her.
“Where are you going?” he asked, his voice sounding almost like he was begging her not to leave him.
“I’ll be right back. I’m just getting a washcloth.” She went into her bathroom and ran a washcloth under some warm water before wringing it out and taking it back into the bedroom with her.
She touched the cloth to his face and gently wiped at the spots of soot and grime that were smudged in places. As she passed the rag over them, the golden hue of his skin began to show through once more. She moved the cloth down his neck before peeling back the suit to wipe along the edge of it.
Lois took one of his hands in hers, to pull the arm of his suit down, and that’s when she saw it. The sight of it made her want to cry. Dark blacks, browns and reds were showing through from behind Clark’s fingernails. He had such attractive hands – they held such unimaginable strength even though they had always been so gentle with her. She rubbed the rag over them, feeling down-heartened when she realized that some of it wasn’t going to come off. It had stained him.
Oh it would come off eventually, but something about that just spoke of the things that Superman... that Clark had to carry with him on a daily basis. And yet he managed to smile that beautiful smile of his and tease her playfully at just the right time, to lift her spirits.
He was always looking out for her.
When Lois was satisfied that she had removed as many of the smudges from him as she could, she took the suit in both hands and pulled it down – sliding it off his arms and allowing it to bunch at his waist.
Climbing onto the bed, she knelt just behind him and laid her hands on his shoulders. She began to knead his tight muscles beneath her fingers. It wasn’t long before she became tired from her ministrations.
Giving up her massage, which probably wasn’t accomplishing a whole lot, she moved closer to him. She wrapped her arms around him, pressing her body against his and letting her hands drape across his chest. She felt his pectoral muscles with the tips of her fingers, tracing out the contour of them. His body trembled beneath her touch.
“Lois...”
“Shhh.” She pressed her lips to the back of his neck and kissed him softly. She then began moving her lips down his back, kissing each vertebrae as she moved lower. She delighted in the way his body reacted. He shivered slightly at the press of her lips to his skin and arched into the touch of her hands.
As she began to work her way back up his body, he turned around to look at her. The tension had eased from his face and he wore a faint smile. “I should get a shower,” he murmured.
She nodded at him, understanding that he needed the shower more for a mental cleansing than an actual physical one. Lois watched him as he walked into her bathroom, noticing that he didn’t close the door behind him.
She wouldn’t disturb his shower. She would put her time to better use. The sound of water began to fill the silence in her bedroom and she walked over to her dresser, opening one of the drawers. She pulled out a light blue, silky nightgown and changed out of her flannel pajamas that now shared the smudges he had worn on his suit.
She then turned her attention to the bed, removing the decorator pillows and a small black and white teddy bear before pulling back the comforter. At first glance, someone might think it was a little childish to keep a teddy bear on her bed. She was a grown woman, after all. But what they wouldn’t know is who had given that bear to her. She wondered if he remembered it.
She was sure he did.
After a few more seconds, she heard the water turn off and then she heard his voice call softly from the bathroom, “Lois?”
She walked over to the bathroom door and peeked inside tentatively. Clark was standing there with a towel wrapped around his waist; his skin glistening with the moisture he hadn’t completely toweled off. A few locks of hair hung loosely over his forehead and Lois couldn’t remember a time when he had looked more delicious. He looked very much like he had the day she had come to his hotel room and he had answered the door in nothing but a towel.
But he looked even better this time. At first she wondered if the difference was that he wasn’t wearing his glasses. But, no, that wasn’t it. What made him even more beautiful was *knowing* him. Before, he had just been some rookie reporter with a good body. Now... Now he was Clark Kent - her best friend, her partner, and her fiancé.
That made him so damn desirable that she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. She walked over to him and reached out, laying her hands softly against the taut muscles of his chest and abdomen.
“I didn’t have anything to change into,” he told her quietly, raising one hand to caress her upper arm softly. His touch sent ripples of desire through her. “I left my clothes in your living room.”
She nodded at him. But she didn’t make a move to go get them for him. Instead she stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around him and leaning up to kiss his neck at the curve of his shoulder.
He let out a soft hiss as her lips met with his skin. She smiled at his reaction and then sucked tenderly at the soft skin. His skin was still hot from his shower. Her mind paused to contemplate the fact that he had taken such a hot shower. It sent a delighted shiver through her.
Clark enclosed her body in his arms and ran one hand up her back and into her hair. “Thank you, Lois. You have no idea how it feels to have someone to come home to.”
His words brought tears to her eyes. He needed this, he needed her, more than she had ever realized. How many nights had he had to deal with some tragedy only to go home to an empty apartment and a cold bed?
She knew he had his parents – but somehow she doubted that he went home to Kansas every time he had a tough night. He just swallowed his feelings and found a way to move on – to wake up the next day and start over.
“Clark, I’m so sorry.” She pulled away from his neck to find his mouth. She kissed him long and deeply. “Let me help you to relax – let me help you...” she murmured before kissing him again.
He broke their kiss and pulled away to look at her, understanding dawning on his face. “No, Lois. I can’t... We can’t... It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
“Clark?”
“Yes?”
“You promised you wouldn’t make any decisions on your own again. You promised that you would always discuss them with me.”
“I know, but...”
“I want this. I may not remember it tomorrow, but you don’t know that. And even if I forget it, you’ll remember... and you can help me remember it again.” She smiled mischievously at him.
“Honey...” he protested before she covered his mouth again with hers. There was that word again – honey – reminding her that she had something important to tell him. She couldn’t stop herself and she let out a small shudder as she thought about how she had been used - been drugged. Her life had been turned upside down, nearly ruined. The men responsible for this were going to answer to her.
Clark pulled away from her lips. “Lois? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” His concerned face brought her back to realty and she forced a smile onto her face. She had to tell him but not yet. Not now.
“Ask me again later... it’s not important right now.” She attempted to pull him into another kiss, but he resisted.
“Of course it is. Every feeling, every thought you have is important to me.” He was looking at her with such tender love in his eyes that it threatened to overcome her.
She sighed softly. “I know that, Clark. But you’re important to me and I want... oooh...”
She was interrupted as Clark scooped her up into his arms. “I want you to relax,” he interrupted. “Let me get you something chocolate and then you can tell me what’s bothering you.”
Chocolate?
Lois wasn’t sure exactly what had awakened her from her dream, but something had. And when she opened her eyes and realized it had only been a dream, she grieved the loss of it. Having Clark in a dream was better than not having him at all – and from the looks of things, he still wasn’t back yet.
She reached up and tried to rub the sleep from her eyes, squinting at the clock over on her desk. She had only been asleep for about thirty minutes but it felt like hours.
Lois concentrated on what she could remember. Had she forgotten anything yet? She didn’t think so, but she couldn’t exactly seem to remember anything right now either – anything other than the dream that had just been interrupted. Maybe if she went right back to sleep the dream would be there, waiting for her?
No. No, that wasn’t a good idea. Lois was even more determined now that she wanted to stay awake until Clark got back. She had to see him. Her heart twinged – what was he going through right now?
She glanced down at her left hand and smiled at the twinkle from her diamond when she wiggled her finger. No. She definitely hadn’t forgotten. If anything, she knew more now than before she had gone to sleep. She had learned something from her dream.
It hadn’t been real, but yet, in its own way, it was. She knew without a doubt that was how Clark would be - in every aspect of their lives. She might have to share him with the world, but he would always try to put her first - even above himself and his own needs.
Lois realized now that even when he had made the huge mistake of breaking up with her it had been because he loved her, because he valued her safety above his own happiness. She knew if it came right down to it that he would even give his life for her. That thought scared her. The world needed him. And not just Superman – the world needed Clark Kent.
A noise outside brought her out of her musings. Her heart leaped – Clark was back! She started to jump up from the couch but stopped when her brain finally caught up with her body and realized it wouldn’t have been Clark. Clark would have been through her window and inside her apartment without so much as a sound.
Then who? Could it have been Dan? No. Surely not. He had tried that little stunt once before, only to have met an uncomfortable fate at the end of her plunger. Besides, Dan had only come through her window because she hadn’t answered her door – and no one had knocked at her door.
There it was again... Another noise. It sounded like someone coming up the fire escape out her window. Out of a protective instinct, Lois shoved her journal under the seat cushion as she got up.
Remembering the window was still open, she ran over to close it and found herself face to face with a man in a black ski mask. She stumbled backwards and grabbed for the first thing she saw – a lamp sitting to one side of the window.
As she hurled the lamp at her attacker he lunged forward knocking them both to the floor.
She felt a sharp pain in her arm and then everything went black.
**********
To Be Continued...
Okay, and now for the note. <g> As a little something extra, there is an extension/epilogue to Lois's dream sequence. It will be posted on the nfic side late Sunday night. For those of you who are interested - we'll see you then!
-- DJ & Sue
