Table of Contents From Part 16:
Lois pushed away from him and nodded towards Scardino, who was still talking on his cell phone. “Not here. Not now. Later tonight, like you promised me earlier.” Her voice matched the determination in her eyes. “Right now I’m going to go to the ladies room and I’ll meet you and Dan in the conference room when I get back.”
Clark watched her walk part way up the ramp before she stopped and turned back to look at him. “I’m going to hold you to that promise.”
He watched her until she disappeared around the corner and then he picked up his notes and went inside the conference room. Dan came inside a couple of minutes later, pocketing his phone. “Girlfriend problems, Kent?”
Clark glared at him. “Scardino, I’m warning you...”
“I’d watch myself if I were you. If you can’t make up your mind where you stand with Lois,” Dan pointed a finger at him, “someone might just make it up for you.”
“Is that a threat?” Clark clenched and unclenched his fists. Dan had no idea who he was talking to. Clark had never picked a fight with anyone before, but he was seriously tempted right now.
“Just call it some friendly advice,” Dan told him, with a smirk.
“Advice? Here’s some advice for you – stay away from Lois.”
Clark took another step closer as Dan opened his mouth to offer some sarcastic reply, no doubt, but they were both interrupted when Lois opened the door.
“Okay, what’ve we got?”
**************
PART SEVENTEEN
**************
“I’m beat,” Lois said, standing up to stretch. They had been at this for hours - discussing the details of Project Nirvana back when Dan had been undercover working the deal with Intergang and Knox – and they still weren’t really any further along than when they had started.
Lois hated dead ends. She, Clark, and Dan had all concurred that Intergang was behind this. But how could they prove it? And who was it specifically? Was it Bill Church, Sr.? His son? Or his wife? Who was handling things?
And to what purpose? Was Intergang working with Knox on this – trying to keep him from being convicted? And how did Dr. Klein fit into the equation? Was he really innocent like Clark thought?
“Well, I’m starved,” Dan grumbled, rising from his chair also. “I don’t seem to remember eating anything for lunch today.”
Clark frowned at him – and whose fault was that? If Dan had kept his big mouth shut, his stomach would have been full and Clark would have been on more solid ground with Lois. Sympathy was the last thing Clark was feeling for Dan right now.
“Lois, why don’t you let me buy you some dinner?” Dan asked, flashing her one of those annoying smiles he had. Clark’s frown would have turned into a distasteful scowl if he hadn’t noticed that Lois didn’t seem too happy either. That was good, wasn’t it?
Dan seemed to pick up on her displeasure as well. “Kent can come too, of course.”
Clark wanted to speak up and say something, but before he had a chance, Lois was already answering, “Oh that’s okay, Dan. You know the old saying ‘two’s company, three’s a crowd’.”
Dan smirked at Clark and Clark clenched his fists. “So my car or yours?” Dan asked her.
“No, you don’t understand,” Lois began explaining, “Clark and I already have plans. I’m sorry, Dan.”
Dan’s face fell as he realized that she meant *he* was the third wheel, but he nodded graciously at both of them. “Sure. Maybe tomorrow night?” he asked, his voice hopeful.
“Maybe,” Lois conceded, throwing a look at Clark. “G’night, Dan.”
“Night, Lois... Kent.” Dan gave him a half-hearted nod before departing the conference room and heading towards the elevators.
Clark stood up and followed Lois out of the conference room over to his desk. She picked up her jacket and he helped her slide it on.
“Thanks,” she said softly.
“You’re welcome.” He wanted to say more but his voice just wouldn’t cooperate with him.
“Come on,” she said, heading towards the ramp. “Take me home, Clark.”
**********
Clark had wanted to fly Lois home. It would have been so much faster. But she had insisted that she didn’t want to leave her Jeep again. She would need it for her doctor appointment in the morning.
He had attempted to begin his apology to her in the parking garage but she had insisted that they wait to discuss things until they got to her apartment. She said the parking garage wasn’t the place to have that kind of delicate discussion and she didn’t want to talk about it while she drove, either. She wanted him to have her full attention.
So Clark had waited, quietly composed on the outside, while his doubt gnawed at him from the inside.
But now that they were here, at her apartment, Clark wasn’t sure how to begin. Should he just start talking? Spill everything, all at once? Should he let her do the talking? Ask the questions?
They walked inside the apartment building and Clark watched her eye the door to the stairwell. A small smile touched her lips but it was gone before it started.
They entered the stairwell and the clack of the door shutting behind them was the only sound besides the rattle of keys as Lois pulled them from her purse. Clark couldn’t wait any longer. If he had to climb five flights of stairs in silence, he was going to go crazy.
Lois looked up at him and smiled timidly. “This time I...” Without a word, Clark scooped her into his arms and flew her up the stairs and inside her apartment. “...have my keys,” she finished, taking in a short little breath as Clark handed her keys back to her.
They stood in an awkward silence for a few seconds, neither one looking at the other.
“Clark, I’m not sure...” “Lois, I should...”
“Go ahead,” Clark told her.
Lois set her purse and journal down on the floor and then she cleared her throat. “I’m not sure exactly what’s going on, but I have to know why you pretended we were still together... because, according to Dan, we’re not. Or was that a lie?” Who had been lying? Clark or Dan? Lois was afraid to hear Clark’s answer. She wrung her hands nervously.
Clark ran a hand through his hair. “You must have told Dan that we weren’t together last night when you had dinner with him.” He sighed softly. “It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t entirely the truth, either.”
Lois could feel a lump beginning in her throat. “If it wasn’t a lie, then it’s the truth. It can’t be both.”
Clark moved closed to her. “You don’t understand. It’s complicated. There’s a lot more...”
Lois stepped away from him and sat down on her loveseat. “So what more is there? What explanation do you have for me?” And you had better make it good, Clark, she begged silently.
“Lois, we weren’t together because of a mistake I made,” he said as he came over to sit down beside her. “Because of a stupid decision that I made without talking with you first. I would give anything to take it back, make it right, and last night you decided to give me that chance.”
She raised an eyebrow at him in disbelief, but then Clark could see the realization hit her. “My journal. I edited my journal.”
He nodded at her.
She shook her head. “But since you haven’t been honest with me, how am I supposed to believe you now?”
Clark reached into his inside coat pocket. “You don’t have to believe me. I had hoped you would. But maybe you’ll believe yourself.” He handed her the folded up, wrinkled note and sat down beside her.
Lois unfolded the note carefully and looked down at the words written on it.
Do you want a second chance? Prove it to me tomorrow. I’m editing my journal. – Lois The words were there in black and white, in her own handwriting.
Clark took the note from her and set it on the coffee table and then took her hands in his. “I’m sorry, Lois. I wanted to do this right. I just...” He shook his head softly. “I should have just come clean with you first thing this morning. But you have no idea how wonderful it was to see you smile again, to feel your touch... to kiss your lips. I was so afraid of losing that.”
He forced himself to look into her eyes as he spoke to her – even though it hurt him to see the pain in her eyes. Please, Lois, his mind begged her. At least she hadn’t pulled away from him.
When she didn’t say anything, he continued, “I wasn’t sure what you wanted me to do. I was so worried about doing something or saying something that could wreck everything that I ended up making a mess of things anyway by saying nothing.”
She was still watching him, silently judging him. “Please, say something,” he begged her quietly.
“I’m still willing to give you a second chance, Clark. So here it is. Tell me everything.”
**********
Clark waited. It had been a couple of minutes since he had finished talking. So far, Lois hadn’t said anything. She had a distant look on her face as she contemplated everything he had told her. Sometime during his confession, he had stood up and started pacing back and forth as he spoke to her. She had just sat quietly, watching him and listening.
He was trying to be patient. He knew it was a lot to take in, all at once. But the longer she went without saying anything, the more concerned he became. It felt like he had a chunk of Kryptonite in his stomach that was slowly burning a hole through him from the inside out. The discomfort inside him made him want to sit, but he was too restless to sit. He just stood there in front of her, waiting for her judgment.
His mind kept repeating one word, over and over – please. It repeated like some strange chorus in the back of his mind. It became so loud, so insistent, that he finally spoke it. “Please.”
The word seemed to shake her out of her thoughts and she looked up at him.
“Please, Lois.” He knelt down in front of her and took her hands in his. “Please forgive me. I can’t lose you. I can’t live without you.” He dropped his head, almost laying it in her lap. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.
He heard a gentle sigh escape her lips, and then, “I’m sorry, too.”
His heart constricted in his chest. She couldn’t forgive him. He wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. He had lost her and it was his fault. He wanted to stand up, move away from her, but his body wouldn’t cooperate. A weakness had settled inside him that prevented him from moving.
And then...
...he felt her hands as they threaded gently into his hair. He raised his head to look at her and she smiled at him.
“I forgive you, Clark.” Lois rubbed a hand gently over his cheek, trying to reassure him. She didn’t think she had ever seen him this frightened before, not even in the face of Kryptonite.
She was upset – she couldn’t lie to herself about that. It would be very easy to be angry with him, be stubborn and refuse to forgive him – she’d obviously done that very thing the first couple of times he had told her.
But there was one very big difference.
He hadn’t admitted he was wrong and asked her to forgive him before. And, after everything she had learned about herself and about Clark today, she *wanted* to forgive him. If she couldn’t forgive him then what did she have to look forward to each morning? The realization that she was going to have to relive that awful memory over and over again because she couldn’t get past it?
Clark loved her, she knew that. And she knew that he was sorry and that he knew he had been wrong. She believed him. And that’s all that really mattered. Almost... “You have to promise me, though, that from now on we make our decisions together, Clark. That’s what couples do. They discuss things and decide the best course – together.”
He nodded his head at her as the relief poured through his face. She stroked his cheek lightly again with her hand and cupped his face tenderly before continuing, “And you have to promise that you will never do something like that to me again. I don’t think my heart could take it.”
He shook his head as he got up to sit next to her. “Never. I’m never going to push you away again and I’m never going to let you go. I can’t.”
His words touched her deeply but they frightened her a little, too. If her condition didn’t improve... “I may have been missing some memories when I woke up this morning, but I think I might have learned more today than I lost.”
Clark had taken one of her hands in his and turned it over, palm up. He brought it up to his lips and began kissing it softly. “What do you mean?”
“When I thought about you getting shot at last night it frightened me. It scared me because I realized that while a regular bullet can’t kill Superman, it can kill Clark. I thought about you lying on the floor of that nightclub when Clyde Barrows shot you.” She swallowed, her throat feeling tight, and she took a couple of quick breaths.
The pain of losing Clark that night was still so vivid, it was like it happened yesterday. She could see his limp body lying there. She could remember thinking that he would never be there to comfort her again, tease her in his playful way, or give her strength when she needed it.
She never wanted to experience that again. “So I understand your fear of losing me but, Clark, you can’t take that all upon yourself. You can’t control everything and everyone. I don’t even want to think about where I would be today if it weren’t for you.” She brushed a lock of hair from his forehead. “I need you.”
He smiled softly at her before pulling her to him to kiss her. “I need you.” He kissed her again, more deeply this time.
When Lois pulled away to catch her breath she whispered, “I know. But you have to be able to let me go, too.”
Clark leaned away to look into her eyes. “What do you mean?”
Lois dropped her eyes, unable to meet his gaze. “I think you know what I mean.” She squeezed the hand that was still holding hers. “I love you too much to let you waste your life, Clark. If it turns out that my condition isn’t reversible – if I’m not going to make new memories...”
Clark cut her off with another kiss, and then he murmured against her lips, “No. Don’t say it.” He moved his lips down to her neck and kissed her softly, moving up to her ear. “You know I can’t do that. I can’t.”
“Clark, I don’t want...”
“No,” he said a little louder before he kissed her again. He drew from her lips long and forcefully, stealing her breath so she couldn’t say it. “No,” he murmured again as his lips trailed a path of kisses down her neck.
His hands brushed lightly over her shoulders and down her arms as he kissed her, finally taking a hold of her and pulling her to him. “I’ll never let you go again,” he whispered. He pressed his lips to hers and took a taste of her with his tongue. Lois parted her lips in invitation and Clark explored her deeper.
Lois couldn’t think. Her mind swam with his kisses and her lack of oxygen, and she was slowly drowning in them. She couldn’t argue with him anymore. “There’s no one I would rather forget myself with,” she admitted, before kissing him back.
“Not even Dan?” he teased lightly.
Lois pulled away, her face serious. “I chose you, Clark. There’s only you.” She swung one leg around him and sat on his lap, straddling him with one knee on either side of him. “Only you,” she repeated before hungrily seeking his lips again.
Her actions caught Clark by surprise, and he sank back into the couch from the force of her kiss. He braced himself against her - vying for control of the kiss – as he put his hands on her legs, just above her knees. The smooth skin he found there took his breath in equal measures with her kiss. Lois usually wore pantyhose with a skirt this length. “Bare is beautiful?” he murmured against her lips.
“Mmm...” She broke from his lips long enough to mumble the words, “gotta runner in them.” Clark wondered briefly if the runner had happened during their make-out session earlier; but then she was kissing him again and he couldn’t think of anything else. Clark slid one hand up a little higher on her leg and was rewarded by a moan of approval. He thrilled at the thought that this was the second time today that he was making out on Lois’s loveseat with her. Is this what the person who had come up with the term ‘loveseat’ had envisioned?
Doubtful...
He slid his hands beneath the edge of her shirt and lifted it until he felt her silky smooth skin under his fingers. He moved his fingertips in slow circles over the skin of her back and delighted when he felt her skin rise up at his touch.
“Clark,” she said his name breathily as she kissed his neck just under his chin. “Did you...” another kiss, on his jaw, “happen to...” a kiss to his cheek, “leave the suit behind again,” she managed to get out before she took a playful nip of his ear.
“No,” he groaned as she pulled his shirt free from his pants.
Lois lifted the shirt high enough to uncover the spandex underneath before sliding her hands along the slick material, relishing the tremble she felt from him at her touch. “So how fast can we get this off?”
Clark was shaken by how low and husky her voice was. She wanted more. More than he could give her right now. He wanted this as much, if not more, than she did. But not like this.
When they decided to become intimate, he wanted it to be something special. The perfect moment. One that neither of them would...
...forget.
It couldn’t happen this way. He loved kissing her, touching her, holding her... but it couldn’t go any further. Not right now. Not like this.
“Lois...”
“Mmmm...” She lost the rest of his words in another kiss.
“Lois...” he tried again.
She kissed him again. “Yes,” she murmured against his mouth as she started undoing the buttons on his shirt.
“Honey, wait. Please. You have no idea how much...”
“What?” she whispered hoarsely. She leaned back, her hands dropping from his shirt. “What did you just say?” Lois knew what he had just said – what he had just called her. The word had burned through her, leaving a warm liquid path in its wake. She wanted to hear him say it again.
“Wait,” he panted. “We should wait.”
“No, besides the ‘wait’, what else did you say?”
“I...” He was suffering from a serious loss of blood to his brain and she was going to grill him on his exact words? “Honey?”
“Again,” she beseeched him, settling herself in his lap. She ran her hands around his neck and pulled him to her. “Again, please.”
“Honey,” he said in a breathless groan.
“Yes, Clark...”
Clark tipped his head back and closed his eyes, trying to regain his focus. “What would you say if I asked if I could just hold you tonight?”
She laughed softly against his chest. “All night?” She squeezed against him with her thighs. “Is that what you really want?”
“Oh... I... For tonight, just for tonight.” He could almost die happy if she would just let him hold her in his arms tonight.
Lois leaned away from him and looked into his eyes. “You’re serious,” she said, her voice betraying her surprise.
“Yes, I am. Lois, if everything holds true, you’re going to wake up in the morning with no knowledge of what happened tonight – except for what you write in your journal. Every thought you’ve had today, every feeling you’ve felt... will be gone.” He reached up with one hand and brushed a couple of stray hairs from her eyes. “I want to hold you in my arms and have you tell me everything about your day today. Everything you thought about, dreamt about... every feeling you experienced. I want to hold on to those memories for you and keep them safe until you remember them again.”
Lois’s eyes teared up as she smiled at him. “You know, just when I think I know everything about you, you take my breath away with something else.” She wiped at her eyes and sniffed a little. “How did we ever meet?”
Clark smiled and tried to lighten the mood. “I blame Perry.” He laughed lightly when she smacked his arm.
“I’m being serious,” she said, giving him a squeeze.
“I know,” Clark said softly, smiling at her. He easily lifted her up from his lap and set her down on the loveseat. Only one thing could make this night more extraordinary, more memorable than it already was. It was time. There were no more excuses – no more reasons to wait. Reaching inside his coat, he dropped down to one knee beneath her and brought out the ring box. “So am I.”
Lois’s breath caught as she watched him reach into the box and take out the ring – her ring. “Marry me, Lois. I want to spend my life with the woman who completes me, who has made me the man I am today. We’ve made so many wonderful memories together – enough to last a lifetime. Marry me.” Clark held his breath as he watched delicate tears spill from her eyes.
“Yes. Oh, yes, Clark.”
**********
Clark knew if there were a heaven on Earth, he’d found it. He and Lois had retired to her bedroom to find a more comfortable place to talk. And talking wasn’t all they had done. Clark felt the warmth in his face as he thought about kissing her and touching her.
They had shared so much. He had held her in his arms on her bed while they told each other of the revelations they’d had about one another that day.
Part of him wished the night would never end, that she didn’t have to go to sleep and wake up in the morning to start all over again. The thought made his chest ache. How could he explain all of this to her?
He would find a way. He had to. If he had to tell her every morning for the rest of her life, he was going to.
Lois was almost asleep – Clark found himself supporting more of her weight as she relaxed against him, and her eyes had long since closed.
“Lois...? Honey?” He smiled as he tried out the name again. “You need to wake up.”
She shifted a little, turning on her side and snuggling into his chest - a position more conducive for falling asleep. “In a minute,” she mumbled.
Lois wasn’t going to fall asleep. But she couldn’t bring herself to get up either. It was so amazingly comfortable to lie here in Clark’s arms. Lois had changed into some flannel pajamas and Clark had made a quick trip home while Lois changed clothes. When she opened her bedroom door, he had been waiting for her in a pair of sleep shorts and a cotton t-shirt. She didn’t think he could have looked sexier.
Well, maybe...
Maybe if he had chosen not to wear a shirt at all. But she didn’t think she could have laid in his arms, against his bare chest, and still have been able to have a coherent conversation. So maybe it was best that he’d worn the shirt.
She could still remember the time he’d answered his door in nothing but a towel, leaving very little to the imagination. How could she have been so blind? She had seen that chest in all its naked glory. The smooth perfection of his skin and the way his muscles had flexed and rippled as he had walked to the bathroom to put on some clothes. Yes, she could still see it vividly in her mind, and she looked forward to seeing more of it – much more. But tonight, for him to hold her in his arms and talk about their future life together, that was enough.
No, not quite enough. If she could lie here just a little longer in his arms, *that* would be enough. Just a few more minutes...
Clark closed his eyes and stroked her hair softly, memorizing everything about this moment. “I know you’re tired, but you still need to write in your journal.” He couldn’t let her fall asleep before she wrote her memories down. For one thing, she had asked him not to let that happen, and for another thing, he didn’t want her to forget. “Come on, I’ll carry you.”
Clark slid out from behind her and picked her up in his arms, carrying her back to the living room. He set her down gently on the loveseat and then retrieved her journal from the floor – where she had set it when they’d first come in.
He held the journal out to her and she looked up at him, giving him a sleepy smile before taking it from him. “Thanks.” The sparkle of the ring on her finger caught his eye as she leaned forward, reaching for the pen lying on her coffee table. Clark couldn’t believe it was real – they were engaged, they were going to get married - it felt like dream.
Lois smiled mischievously at him. “You know, if you wrote these notes for me it would be a lot faster... and we could get back to more important things...”
“Mmm, true.” He flashed her a grin. “But will you believe them in the morning if I write them?”
“I’m sure I can think of some little ending note to explain.”
Clark was bending down to retrieve the pen when he heard a sound.
No, not now. Not tonight.
Lois noticed Clark perk up, like he was listening to something – and soon, she heard it too. She sat up a little straighter and wiped the sleep from her eyes. “Clark, are those police sirens?”
He sighed softly. “Yes.”
She looked at him inquisitively. “Well, aren’t you gonna...” She made a flying motion with her hand.
“Yeah.” He stood up from the couch and then turned to face her. “But I’ve never hated to leave you as much as I do right now.” He bent down and kissed her softly. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He paused to kiss her again. “I love you.”
“I know.” She smiled. “I love you, too. I’ll be waiting for you.”
He went to her window and picked up a familiar red and blue bundle from the floor. He spun into his suit and in the blink of an eye he was standing in front of her - his cape billowing behind him from the window he had opened in the process.
He was holding something out to her.
She took it from him and realized it was his t-shirt and sleep shorts.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
**********
To Be Continued...
