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Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1 |
I hope this part is okay. Feel free to criticize as necessary.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 54
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 54 |
I loved it - i was great of Candy to give Clark such a glowing report  I wonder what Ellen will dream up for Clark to be up to now! Meanwhile: Clark had the impulse to hit his head against a wall LOL, poor Clark. (And good job for the wall that he didn't!) Those Lane women are always causing trouble  More please!! HC
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Oh, so she won't believe her own husband or daughter, but she will believe a slutty-looking gossip columnist? Figures. Though I do see the logic, there... Anyway, good stuff, write more, etc, etc... <g> PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587 |
I enjoyed this part very much! I especially liked: It was one aspect of her personality that was identical to that of her eldest daughter.
...
Sam closed his eyes. He'd hoped he was wrong, but evidently, he'd read his wife correctly. 
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hi, Wow! Great piece.  I love Candy and Ellen conversation. "I know. I've heard some of them," Candy said. "All I know is that he usually comes back with a Superman exclusive, afterwards. I suspect he has some kind of arrangement with Superman. I wish I knew what it was." She shrugged. "In any case, it's good for the paper and I'm not going to throw a wrench into the works. But I can pretty much say with certainty that it doesn't have anything to do with a woman. Lois is the only woman he thinks about that way, and every other female in the office knows it. That was why I asked him to drive me home, last night. I knew I could trust him."
"Oh." Ellen felt almost dizzy with relief. Of course, it wasn't proof by a long shot, but as Clark had said to her yesterday afternoon, proving a negative was virtually impossible. Still, the information that she had turned up was a positive sign. Maybe she had been wrong, after all, if Clark's co-worker called him a straight-arrow.  Love this part. More soon, please. MAF
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767 |
Great part Nan.
Send Ellen to the North Pole or something and let her have a very long extended stay.
more soon please
merry
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Um Well it was an interesting segment. Not the way I imagined it would go. I thought there would be a big embarasing confrontation and a wham for Ellen. But now she knows he's not cheating. What fun is that,g> Anyway will they still tell her he's Superman or will she be smart enough to guess on her own. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
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Uh-oh..I had a bad feeling about those keys when Ellen realized they were lost..now I'm really having a baaaad feeling..  Can't wait for more!! ~Liz
Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
I like this a lot  The chat between Candy and Ellen was fantastic I hope they can talk soon, otherwise Elle could finish 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 188 |
A transition piece, huh? Would that be from "Ellen stalks Clark" to "Ellen is stalked by ? while Clark (and Sam?) madly hunt for her"? I guess we'll see... Meantime, I dunno what you were worried about, Nan. This bit works fine. Candy is probably the only person who could really reassure Ellen about Clark -- anyone else would lack a certain credibility by being too good (and therefore naive in Ellen's eyes) themselves -- and it was a neat touch to have Candy's bona fides established by the scene with Perry. There's also a neat mirroring of the way in which Ellen made herself unpopular with her grandchildren -- Marta and CJ overhear Ellen criticising Clark, and now Ellen overhears Perry explaining his suspicious behaviour with Candy. What goes around, comes around... Phil
Ping! Ping!! Ping!!! -- Mother Box
She's such a chatterbox at times...
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Well, as your transition pieces are as rich in detail and character as the rest of the story, Nan, I wasn't bored for a second. I especially enjoy the way you use secondary characters - like Sam's introspection - who don't usually get as much exposure. That's always fresh and interesting and you do it exceptionally well. I liked this a lot. More please! Oh, one small thing that struck me: Chances were extremely good, after all, that the keys were lying somewhere in the building, undiscovered, and, given time, would be found and quite possibly turned in I was a little surprised here that he didn't think of scanning for them himself. With his augmented vision he has a better chance of finding them than any passer by. Although I got a little confused with the paragraphs following after this quote - I assumed you meant that he was going to 'hover and scan' looking for Ellen and not the keys, but you could have meant both and I wasn't picking up on that. LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Nan, as a rule I'm not really a fan of nextgen or heavily A-plotted stories. And yet you've managed to suck me into this one, just like LabRat. You've done a great job of writing Ellen here, and I can certainly believe that she would be this suspicious of Clark. You had me laughing out loud at the way she was following him around and checking up on him! But the stalker plot has me fascinated, too. Unlike some of your other readers, I don't tend to notice clues or foreshadowing, so I was only clued in that Ellen might have photographed the stalker when I read this folder. But that doesn't remotely detract from my enjoyment of the story - far from it! I'm securely along for the ride now. So MORE!!! Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1 |
Thanks for letting me know there was a little confusion about what Clark was going to look for. I'll change that in the copy that goes to the Archive. I meant that he was going to "hover-around-the-building-and-x-ray" looking for Ellen's keys. (The phrase is lifted from "Dead Lois Walking" when Clark is going to look for the missing bullet casing.)
Thanks for all the nice comments, including those who emailed me privately. I'll try to remember all the important points that might need to be included.
Nan
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Nan A fantastic part! I love Candy and Ellen's conversation.  Hopefully she'll believe Clark now.  I'm enjoying this immensely and look forward to reading the next part. Tricia 
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