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#32676 09/13/06 06:46 AM
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Feedback thread for All Weathered Out

blush

Yes, this part is a lot like the episode so far... hang on, it'll get better. wink


Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Good first part. I see a lot of differences from the episode.

Great line:

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...but how do they expect me to turn off my invulnerability aura?"
But, ahhh.... I was disappointed about one part:

The mayor (Sonny Bono) didn't say "And the 'heat' goes on" or "I got you babe". Ahhh.... That was such a great bit.

I will say, though, that I don't think that bit is in the script.


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Good start, Lara!

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"Clark, do you realize that people are actually planning trips up *North* for Christmas this year?"
It took me a second to figure out why this sounded funny to me. Then I realized: I live in Florida, so people here often go north for Christmas so they can see snow! But of course if you lived in a huge city up north I can see why you might normally go south for the holidays.

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Clark knew as much about how his body worked as he knew about life on Krypton, which is to say he was basically clueless and that really annoyed him right now.
I have often thought before how very frustrating it must be to know nothing about your own biology. And he has no one to ask!

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Lois was one of the only people around who wasn't trying to pin the blame on Superman. In fact, knowing that she was in his corner - even though she thought Superman was an entire other person - always warmed his heart. There wasn't anyone else who would literally get in the ring and fight to save the Man of Steel. Clark - and Superman - could really use someone like Lois just now.
This illustrates so well exactly why Clark needs and loves Lois. She supplies the determination and singleminded focus that he often lacks.


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Great line:
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...but how do they expect me to turn off my invulnerability aura?"
Thank you! smile This is a part of the whole TV Logic that always escapes me in that episode. They left such a big part out, imho.. so I had to fix it. hehehe smile

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But, ahhh.... I was disappointed about one part:

The mayor (Sonny Bono) didn't say "And the 'heat' goes on" or "I got you babe". Ahhh.... That was such a great bit.

I will say, though, that I don't think that bit is in the script.
mmm.. No, it's not in the script. I remember it from the episode real well, though and... ahhh... I'm sorry, Nancy, but I left it out voluntarily.

For one thing, it bugged me that they "fixed" the dialog because it was Sonny Bono playing the part.

But more importantly, if *I* were Lois Lane, I would seriously object to being called "babe" by the Mayor! Over here, there was a really big thing a few years ago when the Prime Minister insulted a female journalist during a press conference - they were announcing a new program which now lets women here take as long as a year and a half of maternity leave, and he nicely told a female reporter that she was still young and she should consider "getting with the program", meaning she should be thinking of having kids soon... Not something someone in any government should say, IMHO. That "I got you babe" bit reminds me of it, you see. And I would think that Lois, being a feminist (as far as I can tell, she most certainly is) would be insulted by it, so I left the "babe" part out.

Sorries..... (hey, I least I had a reason...)

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This illustrates so well exactly why Clark needs and loves Lois. She supplies the determination and singleminded focus that he often lacks.
smile Glad you caught that, it's precisely what I was trying to illustrate. There's another little bit like that later on. it's in Part 2, I think. smile


Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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I didn't mean that you should change it. (I hope you didn't think that from my email - I just thought you might find it helpful.) I just really like those lines. And yes, some people get upset over over being called babe, and I once {many, many years ago) had a patient rake me over the coals for it, but I truly didn't mean anything by it. I called everybody babe - both men and women. I don't do that anymore, but I've also come to the conclusion that people sometimes point out one word to use to their advantage. The guy you are talking about may well have meant it to be derogatory, but that doesn't always mean that's the case. I guess it's all in the delivery.

Anyway, I look forward to part 2!


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Nancy, I once called a client "madam" (as in the word that "ma'am" comes from) and said client went nuts because she thought I was calling her a prostitute.

Just thought I'd share. smile


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I believe it. I believe it. If I've learned anything from being a psychiatric nurse it's this: Listen to what the person is actually saying - not what you think they are saying.


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Nancy - no, no, don't worry. smile I saw your e-mail after I saw your post and besides, the thought never crossed my mind that you were saying I should change it. or anything of the sort, seriously. I swear!

I didn't mean to come across rudely or anything of the sort either. Sorry if I did. (that's what I get for answering posts while I'm at the office: concentration isn't what it should be...) I was just saying, it's one of the things I left out cause - as amusing as it is, really - it always bugged me that they had the mayor say that in the first place.

As for the whole going nuts cause you get called somethine you don't like, well... *lol* I used to wear my hair very short when I was in my 20's and I'm quite tall for a girl (5'10"), well, believe it or not, people that would come up to me from behind (ie: not seeing my face and other obvious female attributes) would almost always call me "sir", no matter what I was wearing at the time. I had a lady once that called me "sir" a few times until she saw my face even though I was wearing a very obvious mini-skirt with thigh-high boots... ok, granted I was in the part of town they call "the village" (where the majority of the population is gay) but still... I look plenty female, just I guess from the back, I look like a dude. *lol* It used to offend me soooooooo much back then... Nowadays, I just turn around and smile and giggle as they realize they were wrong.

Part 2 will be coming up in a couple days, I've got someone checking it for proper use of the English language right now. It won't be long. smile


Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Hey! Yipee!

Quote
Meanwhile, somewhere on the outskirts of Metropolis...
That's neat how you included that type of sentence. Like a comic book. It makes it very colourful for me as the image of the yellow bar or area in a picture of a comic book. Sorry, I don't know comic book jargon.

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He saw her turn to exit the room and simply followed out of habit.
I really like that line.

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"They do say his powers are solar induced," Jimmy chimed in. "Maybe he's like a battery? And recharging him makes the temperature rise 'cause he's attracting so much sunlight? Sounds quite plausible, if you ask me."

"Jimmy! Whose side are you on?" Lois countered, obviously offended by Jimmy's comment.
Classic Jimmy! The babbling bit by Lois later is to me another great Lois trait perfectly shown. I guess the Jimmy comment was from the show, but I like how you inserted it. If I'm wrong about it coming from the show...it's still cool.

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Clark sighed in despair. "Cease and desist? How do I do that? I can keep my feet on the ground and stop using my heat vision, but how do they expect me to turn off my invulnerability aura?"
I guess being the infamous Clark 24/7 would be okay :p , but yes can't turn his aura off. I like how he/you put that.

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"I'll be right over!" Lois told him and she hung up.
She's in a hurry! When people say bye, I always think they are in a rush. Gee. Now it's over. Eagerly awaiting part two.


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That's neat how you included that type of sentence. Like a comic book. It makes it very colourful for me as the image of the yellow bar or area in a picture of a comic book. Sorry, I don't know comic book jargon.
smile yay! I'm glad you think it makes it sound like a comic book, because that's exactly why I did that. (and don't worry, I don't know comic book jargon either. Well, actually, I do in French... for all the good that'll do me over here. LOL)

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I guess the Jimmy comment was from the show, but I like how you inserted it. If I'm wrong about it coming from the show...it's still cool.
He does make a similar comment on the show, but some of what I had him say is actually closer to what Clark says in that scene. Of course in my story, Clark's not in the newsroom at the time, so... wink (notice I left Cat out as well... this, however, I had not actually realized until now. Oh hum... sorry Cat, maybe next time!)


Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Ah, poor Cat. You left her out. frown I always liked Cat and thought people underestimated her. (But that has nothing to do with your story.)


I really liked this part, too:

Quote
Quote
Clark sighed in despair. "Cease and desist? How do I do that? I can keep my feet on the ground and stop using my heat vision, but how do they expect me to turn off my invulnerability aura?"
I guess being the infamous Clark 24/7 would be okay , but yes can't turn his aura off. I like how he/you put that.
I always wondered this about the show: In addition to him not being able to 'turn the aura off', how in the world would he stop drawing sunlight to himself unless he went someplace that was completely blocked off from the sun?


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I always wondered this about the show: In addition to him not being able to 'turn the aura off', how in the world would he stop drawing sunlight to himself unless he went someplace that was completely blocked off from the sun?
Yep. Precisely. And I addressed that in parts 2 and 3, actually. smile

Guess what... I have part 2 just about ready to post. I didn't think my friend would be done reviewing it today, but she has. smile So as soon as I've got a minute to read it and fix the little nasties that are left in it, I'll be ready to post it.


Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Good first part, Lara! I'm curious what will happen in the following. wink

And who's Clyde? Just a guy with the name or the Clyde as in Bonny and Clyde?
(I happen to be a TOGOM- addict smile1 )

I'm looking forward to your story!


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And who's Clyde? Just a guy with the name or the Clyde as in Bonny and Clyde?
He's a dead guy. wink No, not a dead *gangster*, just a dead man. hehehe! smile He's the villain's brother and he used to be a brilliant scientist. That's all you need to know about him for now...

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(I happen to be a TOGOM- addict smile1 )
Me tooooooo! smile


Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies

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