Chapter 5

Clark moved around his apartment restlessly. He’d been unable to settle, unable to concentrate on any of the things he’d planned on doing with his time off. He’d tried flying patrols, but even that had failed when he found himself drifting aimlessly, doing nothing but thinking about Lois Lane. He hoped she was well on her way back to Metropolis. If she was, he wouldn’t see her again, and this stage- where he did nothing but think about her and brood- would pass, he knew from experience.

A knock on the door proved a welcome distraction.

He opened the door and sighed with resignation when he saw who his visitor was. “I should’ve known you’d be back.”

“Look, Clark, I know you don’t want to see me, and I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want. But first, I want some answers,” Lois stated.

He ran a hand through his already messy hair. “I guess you’d better come in.”

She’d barely made it into the room when she whirled.

“Why did you leave Metropolis?”

He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I thought that was obvious.”

“Not to me.”

“I knew you’d chosen Scardino. After that… well, there just wasn’t anything left for me there.”

“What about your friends? The Planet? Didn’t they mean anything to you?”

“Of course they did, Lois! But what did you expect me to do? Stay and watch you with him? Maybe dance at your wedding?” He flung the words at her, letting his intense hurt colour them.

“You’re wrong,” she whispered.

“What?”

“I said, you’re wrong. I didn’t choose Dan.”

“You could’ve fooled me.” He looked pointedly at her now-bare left hand, and she blushed.

“What made you think that, anyway?”

“Because I saw you! I went to see you that night, and I saw you take Scardino upstairs-” his voice cracked with the remembered pain of that moment- the moment his heart had broken into a million tiny pieces- and he broke off.

“Oh, Clark. For a smart guy, you really are an idiot. What you saw that night was me breaking things off with Dan. I told him that I was sorry, that there was no future for me and him. We went upstairs because it's not the sort of conversation you can have in the street! Then I went to find you. I went to tell you that I’d finally come to my senses, that I wanted to be with you- you, Clark!” She paused, choking back tears. “Finding your apartment empty like that… it was the worst night of my life. I tried to find you for weeks afterwards, but no one knew where you’d gone, or even seen you leave- well, except for your parents and they weren’t talking.”

That didn’t surprise Clark. For those first few weeks, he’d been a wreck. He rarely cried, even with all the terrible things he saw as Superman, but for the first couple of days he hadn’t seemed to be able to stop the tears. Even afterwards, he’d been withdrawn and depressed. It was just like his parents- especially his mom- to try and shield him then.

“Do- do you still feel that way?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yes, Clark.”

He reached for her and pulled her into his embrace, sighing happily as she wrapped her arms around his waist. He wanted to stay like this forever, but all too soon a thought intruded.

Superman.

Lois was still in the dark about his other identity. And there was no way he could let that continue.

Reluctantly he dropped his arms from around her and stepped back. She looked at him in disappointed puzzlement.

“Clark? You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”

“Never.” His denial was vehement and heartfelt. “But if we’re going to do this- if we’re going to be together- there’s something you need to know.”

***

Something she needed to know.

The phrase sounded ominous to Lois, especially when coupled with the almost fearful look on Clark’s face.

A million possibilities flashed through Lois’ mind. He was secretly married? A murderer? Born female?

“Whatever it is, it can’t be as bad as what I’m imagining right now,” she told him shakily. “Let me guess, your name isn’t really Jerome King?” It was a weak joke, she knew, but she had to break the tension that had sprung up between them somehow.

“Something like that.” He sighed. “The truth is, Lois, is I am Clark Kent… but I’m someone else as well.” As she watched, he took his glasses off and smoothed his hair, slicking it straight back away from his face. “Lois, I’m-”

“Superman,” she finished for him.

He nodded slowly, swallowing nervously.

She couldn’t take it in. “But- but you *can’t* be Superman. I’ve seen both of you together. I’ve seen you bleed!”

He sighed again, then levitated about a foot off the floor, his feet dangling.

She broke into laughter, aware there was a hysterical edge to it, sinking down onto the couch and burying her head in her hands.

***

Clark watched helplessly as Lois’ shoulders shook, unable to tell if she was laughing or crying. Finally he crouched down in front of her.

“Lois? Are you okay?”

She raised her tear streaked face and glared at him. “Okay? No, Clark, I am not okay! You just told me that the man I love and the superhero I chased around Metropolis for over a year are the same person! How could I be okay?”

He couldn’t stop himself from smiling, which only provoked another glare from her.

“What are you smiling at?”

“You love me?”

“Yes, but-”

This time he didn’t resist. Leaning forward, he captured her lips with his. For a moment she resisted him, then he felt her lips move under his and silently exulted. Oh, how he’d missed kissing her! She threaded her fingers through the hair at the back of his neck, tugging him closer as her tongue sought, and received, access to his mouth. He moaned deep in his throat as the tip of her tongue found his and pulled her off the couch into his arms, holding her tightly against him as he explored her mouth. All too soon, she was pulling away from him, making him groan in disappointment as she broke their kiss.

“You may not need to, but I need to breathe,” she reminded him.

“I love you, Lois,” he told her seriously. She leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss to his lips.

“I’m still mad at you.”

“I know. And I’m sorry, Lois. I should have told you earlier. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

She gently disengaged herself and clambered back onto the couch. “It’s not that simple, Clark. You lied to me every day for two years.”

“You understand why, don’t you?”

“I know why you lied, Clark. But that doesn't make it hurt any less.” She gave him a sad half smile. “I'm going to go back to my hotel. I need some time to think.”

She got up and walked to the door. Clark trailed behind her.

“Lois? Are- we- okay?”

“I don't know yet. Ask me again tomorrow.”


"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg