|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Fáilte romhat, Sara!!! And what an introduction to the boards! This is terrific! You had me enthralled throughout. You have a lovely touch with introspection, humour and WAFFs. 
Just a fly-by! *waves*
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 843
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 843 |
Yes, Wendy, I noticed also that the post was not complete (it stops in the middle of a sentence). Could it be one of those posting problems?  malu
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761 |
Ditto. Waiting for the rest soon. Just one question: What does </st1:place> mean? See ya, AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Ooh, excellent start. And I love the subtitle. But you've gotta get the ending added in there, or at least a "to be continued..." And now I see you have fixed it!  This was lovely, Sara. Poignant and sweet, and ending up with a big happy sigh.  I'm not especially a fan of BatP/HoL rewrites, but this one was very nicely done, and either avoids or repairs all the difficulties in the episode. I like rewrites that fix this stuff  Anyway... write more, post more! PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206 |
//Nothing's free with Lex Luthor. With him, you *always* pay.//
...Of course, at that time, she hadn't *really* paid "Paid" is an interesting word to leave off on, especially with the quote from Clark above. What has she paid since? 
-- Roger
"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Ak where is the rest now that you have my interest! More soon. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569 |
i'll add my comments to the rest: nice start, good flow, lovely work, but it looks like you had some posting problems. please, fix the post and let us know when you do so we can read it properly. Paul
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 941
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 941 |
EDITED after the post was fixed: Wow. Sara, this was incredible. One minute I'm laughing over the Misadventures of Mad Dog Lane on her way to Clark's apartment, and the next I'm literally in tears over a passage as poignant as this... The look in his eyes when they were outside on the street - that was even worse than Clark-swearing-undying-love-to-her. That look was one that had never, ever been directed at Lois before, not even by Superman, or Lex - heck, not even by *Clark*!. It was the I-will-love-you-fervently-till-the-end-of-time-whatever-you-say-or-do look. The one that most husbands usually gave their wives when they thought nobody was looking. The look that Lois had often seen on Jonathan Kent's face as he gazed at Martha. The look that she had never seen on Sam Lane's face.
That look. I am never bored by House of Luthor - if Kaethel ever wants to start a BatP/HoL club, I'm in - and I loved every minute of this story. I liked the background you gave Ellen, and the way we heard her stand up to Lex at the wedding. Lois was having a wonderful conversation with herself in front of the mirror - and I'm certainly glad that the right side won I was intrigued by the description of Lex as "safe". I've read other fics where Lois has revealed that she wasn't in love with Lex but that in fact was one of the reasons why she was marrying him, since that way she wasn't in danger of losing control, etc. So there would be an issue of "safety" implied, but I'm not sure if I've ever actually seen the descriptor "safe" used for Lex before. It's rather creepy, knowing what we do about him...  It was interesting later in the story to see the same "safe" descriptor used for Superman - that, of course, I have seen before, and can easily understand why Lois would think that way, as well as "dangerous" for Clark (yeah, especially when he's in black...) ![[Linked Image]](http://images.bravenet.com/brpics/smilie/heartbeat.gif) I felt so sorry for both of them in this story...and I usually don't have a lot of sympathy for Lois during the BatP arc. And a tremendously waffy and happy ending. ![[Linked Image]](http://images.bravenet.com/brpics/smilie/cupidarrow.gif) Thanks so much for this wonderful story, Sara, and I'll be happy to join in the nagging campaign as well. I too hope you've already started your next story! KathyM 
"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
Sara A wonderful start! Tricia 
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Having read the comments folder, I'm keen to read this one - any chance it's going to be fixed soon? LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 244
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 244 |
I have to join the others. An intriguing start, Sara. But where's the rest? You seemingly have us hooked, you can't let us hang there just like that, k?  so hurry back with the rest, pretty please...  ~Sira
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 385
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 385 |
Sorry everybody! Can't imagine what went wrong... I've edited it now, so the rest should be there... Thanks so much for all your comments so far! Sara. 
Death: Easy, Bill. You'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation.
Meet Joe Black
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,099
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,099 |
- I'm your partner. I'm your friend.
- Is that what we are?
- Oh, you know what? I don't know what we are. We kiss and then we never talk about it. We nearly die frozen in each other's arms, but we never talk about it, so no, I got no clue what we are.
~ Rick Castle and Kate Beckett ~ Knockout ~
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
I won't be the only one to start the nagging campain. LET THE NAGGING BEGIN!!! *major sniff* That was sooo sweet. We better being seeing more stuff from you, Sara! HoL gets so boring for me sometimes, but I was completely captivated by Lois' thoughts, her trip over to Clark's *snort of laughter*, and Club Smoochie! Welcome, and continue to write! 
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597 |
Very nice, Sara! I love it when new authors come on the scene, and you definitely have an abundance of writing talent. I really enjoyed this story. You did a nice job of getting into Lois's thoughts in the opening scene, but I really began to sit up and take notice when you introduced Ellen into the story. When she told Lois to disappear and that she would take care of Lex, I wanted to cheer. I enjoy seeing Ellen redeem herself, and your take on her and Sam's history was unique and creative. And you painted a great picture of Lois's trek to Clark's apartment, too. All in all, this was a nice mix of poignancy and humor. An impressive first effort. I hope we see a lot more from you in the future. Kathy
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Wow what a great job revamping this Ep. I loved all the Chaos Lois went through on the way to Clarks! The last scene with the two of them was just perfect. Although personally I'd love to see an epilogue of Lois's reaction when she finds out he is Superman<g> Great job. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569 |
sara, what can i say? that was beautiful. much better than the original. lovely introspection, great conversations, wonderful ending. congratulations on a very good start to your fic writing career. Paul p.s. for some reason, i'm still seeing a lot of these: </st1:place> they always come after the word "clark," but not after every "clark." not sure what's going on, but if you could delete them, it would be nice.
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206 |
Very nice story! Love the way Lois decides to run. Good introspective. Unlike others, though, I don't think it's proper to leave the "dumping" of Lex to Ellen. Lois doesn't know he's a crook, so she should properly do the dumping herself. Seems very disrespectful to leave it to someone else. Looking forward to more.
-- Roger
"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 197
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 197 |
Wow Sara........ great job!!! )
"Well, let's see, so far I've been given a glimpse of ritual crop worship, treated as your girlfriend, and I insulted your parents. No, I couldn't have planned this. Mmm, mmm." -- Lois to Clark, 'Green, Green Glow of Home'
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Wow.  I loved the opening sequence with Lois being prepared for the wedding. Especially the tears being not because she was overwhelmed by how beautiful she looked in her paint and dress, but because she didn't in her mind. Very unexpected reversal there. No! No, stop thinking that way. That path led to Old Friend Pain and Lois had had quite enough of him for the time being. Back to Lex, back to safety... Lex was safe - he couldn't hurt her. I can't claim to have read all fanfic dealing with this issue, but this is certainly the first time I've read this reasoning for Lois's acceptance of Lex's proposal and you know - it makes perfect sense to me! For the first time I feel as though Lois's actions in HOL are perfectly in character. Lois' introspection was perfectly rendered throughout - beautifully done. And yay, Ellen! Way to go! <g> You made the screen mist up on me again when Clark spotted Lois outside his apartment door. <snuffle> "I didn't know where else to go," she finished at last. The pathetic little answer sounded lame to her ears, but from the look on Clark</st1:place>'s face, she had evidently said the right thing.
"Oh, Lois." His voice was now tender, infinite gentleness, and he moved towards her and put his arms around her, pulling her to his chest. /me reaches for a fresh box of Kleenex.... "I love your tenacity, your courage, your fire, your passion, your determination, your loyalty. I even love your stubbornness. I love the way you demand that the world be a better place. I love your chocolate fixation, your Lethal Weapon craze. I love the way your hair - " His hand reached out of its own accord and swept the silky strands away from her cheek, replacing it with his fingers… " - falls over your face, I love the way your eyes light up when you're teasing me, I love..." Her hand had come up to cover his… "I love *you*, Lois." He finished simply. He watched her, dreading her reply. More <snuffles> plus <happy waffy sigh> "Lex who?" she asked innocently, and touched her lips to his. Woohoo!! Yay!! Absolutely superb, Sara!! Thank you for sharing this beautiful, waffy, funny story with us. Write more soon, you hear? LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
|
|
|
|
