The Human Bomb
By Lois_Lane_Fan
Rated G
Summary: Lois gets taken hostage by a man with a bomb.
Disclaimer: Lois and Clark and related characters belong to DC Comics and Warner Brothers Studio. The main plot of this story is an adaptation of events that took place in an episode of “Adventures of Superman,” the 1950s series starring George Reeves. The title "Human Bomb" comes from the title of that episode.
*****
At a discrete location, a top secret poker game was held by Lex Luthor. It wasn’t just any type of poker game, though. The stakes were very high, and only fellow wealthy members of society could actually afford to buy in. Fortunes could be doubled, tripled, or even lost. When things got especially heated, multimillion dollar businesses sometimes changed hands. If you were on the unlucky side, you could have walked in with billions of dollars in your bank account and walked out without a penny to your name. The truth was that this was no little boys’ poker tournament or a friendly game among buddies, and that’s the way that Lex liked it.
Lex truly enjoyed a good game of poker. He absolutely loved the risk of the game, and the rewards weren't bad, either. Unfortunately, he couldn’t get the thrill he enjoyed out of playing at a regular casino. That was because he knew that no matter how many hands he lost, he was never in any real danger of going broke.
That’s why Lex had started a poker club specifically designed for only the wealthy. It was the thrill of losing his fortune that really made Lex enjoy the game. It was one of the few things that really made him feel alive, the other two things being his attempts to defeat Superman and his attempts to woo the lovely reporter Lois Lane. Unlike those other two interests, though, his monthly poker games with other billionaires involved putting a good deal of his fortune on the line. Also unlike those other two interests, he always came out a winner when playing poker, and he didn't even have to cheat.
Lex never really thought about what he might do if he actually lost at one of these games since so far, that hadn’t actually happened to him. In actuality, quite the opposite had happened. He had made quite a bit of money off of other wealthy people, who he would unceremoniously kick out of his poker club once he’d attained all of their assets.
In fact, there was one thing about these poker games that Lex enjoyed as much, if not more, than the thrill of risking his wealth. That thing was the pleasure of watching former members of high society completely humiliated after he’d beaten him or her.
They almost always begged for their money back, but Lex never returned everything they’d lost. If he was in the mood for entertainment, though, he did give them a few million dollars back in exchange for them doing humiliating things for him. He’d once made an oil tycoon wait on him in front of a group of wealthy acquaintances during a charity dinner he’d thrown. Another time, he’d made a Hollywood starlet appear as a stripper at a director’s bachelor party he’d been invited to. Needless to say, her career was never quite the same afterwards.
During this particular poker game, Lex was playing a game against the owner of a local hotel called the Apollo Hotel. The Apollo wasn’t a particularly pricey hotel, but its owner, Julius Witt, had managed to make a small fortune over the past several years that the hotel had been in business.
Julius had a gambling problem, a problem that had wrecked his life on more than one occasion. He’d gone through two bankruptcies, been left by three wives and multiple girlfriends, and had borrowed money from his friends often enough that most of them had stopped answering his phone calls years ago out of fear that he would ask for more money. Still, though, he'd thus far always managed to pick himself up after each disaster, and yet, he always found himself in trouble again later.
It just so happened that the tiny hotel that Julius owned was situated right in the middle of an area where Lex had hoped to build a newer, bigger hotel. Lex had invited the man hoping to get his hands on his property so that he could tear it down and replace it with his luxurious hotel. Being a lover of poker, Julius had accepted the invitation with glee. Unfortunately for Lex, rather than putting up his property, the man had wagered his entire bank account, just a little over a million dollars.
Lex sat staring at his hand for a moment after Julius had made his wager. He took a puff of his cigar, exhaled, and then said, “I call.”
Julius grinned and laid out his hand. “A pair of queens,” he said.
Lex then laid out his own hand and replied, “A pair of kings. I win.” With that, he exhaled the smoke from his cigar into his opponent’s face.
The man sat in stunned silence for a moment as the reality of what had just happened sunk in. Then, a sudden rush of anger flushed through him. He stood up, pounded his fist onto the table, and then threw his glass of wine against the wall.
“You cheated!” he yelled. “You had to have cheated. There’s no way somebody could be as lucky as you've been tonight. You’ve won every game you’ve played.”
Lex just calmly shook his head and replied, “No, I never cheat at poker. In other aspects of my life, yes, but never at poker. Now, if you’ll just settle up with my associate, Nigel, you may leave. That is, unless you’d like to play again and wager something else.”
“My hotel?” he asked. “You’d really like that, wouldn’t you? After all, I’ve turned down every offer you’ve made to buy it from me. Well, I’m willing to put up my hotel against all the money you won from me tonight. But, I’m not playing poker against you for it. I’m no sucker. I want to play a game where the odds aren’t stacked against me.”
“Name your game, then,” Lex said. He didn’t appear to be the least bit frightened that Julius might choose a game he couldn’t win.
“A bet. I’m willing to bet you that I can control Superman,” Julius replied.
“Control Superman?” Lex asked, sounding interested. He found the idea of mixing two of his hobbies, gambling and Superman, to be very intriguing. “And just how do you plan to do that?”
“I’ll think of something,” he replied.
“How will I know that you have managed to successfully control Superman?” Lex asked. “I will of course need some type of proof that you did what you say you can do if I am to give you your money back.”
“Read the newspaper,” he answered. “I’m going to make Superman rob Wayne Financial.”
“Convince Superman to rob a bank?” Lex replied, astonished at the thought. “Impossible. Superman is many things, but a thief? Certainly not. I accept the terms of your bet. It’ll be an easy way to acquire your property.”
“Deal,” Julius replied as the two men shook hands.
*****
Julius had a plan in mind. He wouldn’t have made the bet if he hadn’t. He’d been a faithful reader of the Daily Planet for years, and there was one thing that he’d noticed over that time. Almost every single interview with Superman had been conducted exclusively by two different reporters, Lois Lane and Clark Kent. He assumed that the two of them must have had some sort of a friendship with Superman, and that was how he planned to get to him.
He’d decided that Clark might be too difficult to use as a hostage. From the photos he’d seen of the man, he knew that Clark had an athletic build, and therefore, he might not be able to overpower the reporter. On the other hand, being a fairly large man himself, he was confident that he could easily overpower Lois and use her as a hostage, making her the obvious target.
The next morning, Julius arrived at the Daily Planet wearing a large trench coat. He asked around for Lois Lane and Clark Kent, using the excuse that he had information for a story that they were working on. Finally, a gorgeous woman with auburn hair and a revealing, bright red dress pointed him towards Lois’ desk.
“Lois Lane’s desk is right over that way,” the woman had said as she’d pointed. “But you shouldn’t waste your time on her. Her cold personality will only disappoint you. Your time would be much better spent with someone hot, like me. My name is Cat Grant, by the way.”
Cat extended her hand, and Julius shook it. She then proceeded to wink, smile at him, and walk away. Julius was somewhat tempted to follow after her, as it had been a long time since a woman as good looking as her had so overtly flirted with him. He quickly snapped himself out of it, though. After reminding himself of why he was here, he walked over to Lois’ desk.
“You’re Lois Lane, aren’t you?” he asked.
The woman looked up from her computer and replied, “I am. Who are you?”
“That doesn’t matter,” the man whispered as he quickly pulled out a gun and pointed it directly at Lois. “Now, stand up, and let me put these on you.” He held up a pair of handcuffs.
As this was going on, Clark, who was currently making himself a cup of coffee in the cafeteria area while Cat made her usual flirty advances toward him, overheard the exchange between Lois and Julius with his super hearing. Wondering who the strange man was, he turned to make a closer inspection of the man and immediately noticed the man handcuffing Lois’ hand to his.
"That man!" Clark shouted.
"What about him?" Cat asked, clearly annoyed that she was being ignored by the second man in a row.
"He's handcuffing Lois," Clark replied, a sense of urgency in his voice.
"Kinky," Cat replied, a smile lighting up her face. "If you want, I'll let you handcuff me anytime."
Clark simply ignored her and ran over to Lois and Julius, shouting angrily, “Let her go, now!”
“Ah, Kent,” Julius replied calmly and coolly. “Just the man I wanted to see. Now, go tell your pal Superman that I want to see him, or I’ll blow your partner’s head off.”
“Don’t listen to him, Clark,” Lois interjected. “If this guy actually wants Superman to come here, then he must be setting some type of trap. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to him because he came here trying to save me.”
Clark clenched his fists as he considered his options. He could have tried using his super speed to grab the gun out of the man’s hand, but he was afraid it might go off accidently in the process and shoot Lois or someone else. That was too risky. He then thought about using his heat vision to make the man drop the gun. That seemed much safer, so he decided to try it. He lowered his glasses slightly, and shot out a burst of heat vision. The pain of the hot metal caused the man to drop the gun, but Julius had another trick up his sleeve.
“I don’t know why that just happened, but don’t get any bright ideas,” Julius said. With that, he ripped his trench coat open to reveal a bomb strapped to his chest. “I came with a plan B in mind.”
“Okay, just keep calm. I’ll do exactly what you asked,” Clark said as he slowly backed away from the man and then proceeded to run to the elevator.
Once the elevator doors closed, though, Clark began to change into his Superman costume. When he reached the first floor and the doors opened again, he ran to the exit and then flew all the way back up to the floor he’d just come from. He hovered, staring at the man and Lois for a second, and then, he stepped into the building through an open window.
“Sir, I’m going to have to ask that you release the lady,” Superman said, trying his best to sound as if he wasn’t scared to death.
Julius whipped his head back and saw Superman standing behind him. “That sure was quick,” he said in astonishment.
“That’s because I didn’t need Kent to bring me here,” Superman lied. “The security guard saw your gun when you entered the building and called the police immediately. I heard about you from them. They’re on their way here now. The building will be surrounded at any moment.”
Julius stared into Superman’s eyes and smiled. “You’re bluffing. I can always tell if someone’s bluffing.”
With that, he pulled Lois toward the window. She tried not to follow him, but he was too strong. He twisted and pulled at her arm, hurting her and causing her to stumble slightly. As she stumbled toward the window, she lost a shoe in the process. That didn't stop Julius, though. He brazenly pushed his way past Superman, who was too worried for the safety of everyone in the building to dare try anything at this point. Julius then yanked an off balance Lois out of the window, standing on the ledge with his hostage and looking down at the streets to see if he could see any police cars.
"I told you that you were bluffing, Superman," Julius said smugly.
Lois then began to sway back and forth as she tried to keep her balance. Superman ran towards the window, fear in his eyes as he watched the love of his life wobble around unsteadily. She almost fell several times before finally managing to stand still.
“What’s the idea, lady?” Julius asked. “Do you want to kill us both?”
“I’m sorry. I’ve never walked on the ledge of a building while handcuffed to a psychopath and wearing only one shoe before," Lois spat out sarcastically.
By this time, Superman had flown out of the window himself. While hovering above Julius, he said, “I can see you're serious, and I don’t want anybody to get hurt.”
Julius smiled at Superman’s sudden change in attitude. He was satisfied with the fact that he now clearly had Superman right where he wanted him.
“What is it you’re hoping to gain by all of this?” Superman asked, about as nervous as he’d ever been in his entire superhero career.
“I want you to rob Wayne Financial for me.”
“This is all about you wanting me to rob a bank for you!” Superman yelled, his anger getting the better of him.
“Just calm down and take a deep breath for a minute,” Julius replied. “At the end of the day, if everything goes well, we’ll all be happy. You’ll be happy because Miss Lane here won’t be in a billion pieces. I’ll be happy because my goal of robbing the bank will be fulfilled. And Miss Lane will be happy because she’ll have a big scoop - about what it was like being handcuffed to a psychopath.”
“Fine,” Superman said, though anybody with any sense could tell by the stern expression on his face that he felt anything but fine about all of this.
As Superman stared at Julius, looking as if he could punch his fist right through the wall of the building, Lois interjected, saying, “Superman, you can’t! You can’t rob a bank just to protect me. Think of how the city will feel knowing your morals were compromised because of this lowlife fiend.”
“But I have no choice,” Superman answered. “To protect the life of one innocent person, I’d rob a hundred banks.”
“And to protect the life of you, Miss Lane, I’d venture a guess that Superman would be willing to rob a thousand banks,” Julius added, giving Superman a smug, taunting grin.
Rather than falling for Julius’ taunts, Superman flew a few feet higher into the air and replied, “I’ll go now. Just, please, don’t hurt anybody. I'll be back with your money within an hour.”
*****
Meanwhile, Lex sat at his desk looking over some documents relating to a few properties he’d recently acquired when Nigel entered the room carrying a tray with a cup of coffee and a few donuts. He sat the tray on Lex’s desk.
“Is it time for my usual fifteen minute break already, Nigel?” he asked.
“It is, sir,” Nigel replied. He then turned to leave the room as Lex turned on the TV.
The TV showed footage of the Daily Planet as a reporter explained that the building had been evacuated after a reporter had been taken hostage by a terrorist. As she talked about Superman being spotted at the scene briefly only to disappear soon afterwards to an unknown location, a smirk appeared on Lex's face. He had not yet made the connection between the events on the screen and his bet with Julius Witt. That smirk soon dissolved, however, when the footage shifted to a close-up shot of a now barefoot Lois handcuffed to Julius.
"Witt! The rat!" Lex shouted loudly and pounded his fist into the table.
Nigel rushed into the room at the sound of Lex's shouting and asked, "Sir? What's wrong?"
"It's Witt," Lex replied. "He's taken Lois Lane hostage as part of his scheme to control Superman. If she gets hurt because of this, I swear, Nigel, he will pay."
"Indeed," Nigel replied. "I'm sure he will. After all, one does not cross Lex Luthor and get away with it."
*****
Meanwhile, Superman was flying through the sky at great speeds, so fast that only a blur could be seen in the sky. He'd thought of a plan to rescue Lois without compromising his integrity, a plan that involved the element of surprise. As such, he'd gone in a circle and was now approaching Julius and Lois from behind. Before Julius could see what was happening, Superman had broken the handcuffs and thrown him into the air!
Julius looked down at the city below and saw Superman landing on the ground with Lois. For a moment, he wondered if Superman just planned to let him fall to his death. He wondered if he'd pushed the normally righteous hero too far by putting someone he cared about in jeopardy. Then, Superman managed to surprise him for the second time in one day when he flew back up into the sky, ripped the bomb off of his chest, and threw it off somewhere into space. Finally, Superman landed on the ground with Julius and handed him off to Inspector Henderson.
"I think you know what to do with him," Superman said.
"Sure do. Thanks, Superman," Henderson replied as he handcuffed the criminal and walked him towards a nearby police car.
Superman turned his attention to Lois. "Are you all right?"
"Well, my arm is a little sore... and I may have twisted my ankle... and I'm in need of a new pair of shoes... but, yeah." She smiled. "Thanks, Superman."
"It was my pleasure, Miss Lane," Superman said.
"Well, I guess I should try to find Clark so we can write the story about everything that happened today. After all, I do have a firsthand account of the situation."
Superman smiled and said, "I'll see you around, Miss Lane." He then flew into the sky, quickly disappearing from sight.
THE END
