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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1 |
Well, here's the second part. Any comments, constructive criticism, etc?
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
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Columnist
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Columnist
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No constructive criticism, Nan - just positive comments. This was an excellent installment, and now you have me really worried about Candy... and Ellen. I have a feeling that Ellen might put herself in danger watching Clark and Candy.
Looking forward to more,
Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Well, Nan, I'd figured Candy would be in some kind of trouble, but not that she'd be a murder suspect!  And I'm getting to like her, too. And then just when they want to talk to Ellen, they can't get her. Figures. Anytime Clark decides that he's definitely going to Tell All, events conspire against him  You'd think he'd have noticed the pattern by now!  Anyway, this is good stuff -- post more, soon!  PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Nan, oooh this is getting better and better and I just *knew* that I should not have started it already! I am so dying for more and now am going to wish for next monday... at least that is a bonus... something to look forward to on Mondays BTW, have I ever mentioned how you leave me in awe of how you can mix two entirely different stories into one? Your A-plot and B-plots are both so well thought out all by themselves and then there is the added depth when you blend them. 
Marns
~pobody's nerfect
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hi, Great piece!  The Cherokee pulled away from the curb. She followed, thinking. So far she had plenty of suspicion, but no definitive proof of anything. She was going to have to continue trailing him for a while longer until he gave her something solid to take back to Lois. :rolleyes: Oh! Poor Clark. A wife, four kids, two or three more on the way (lost count), Job at the Planet and a Job call Superman. And a mother in law playing detective and thinking that Clark is sheating. She waited, fully expecting him to enter the apartment house, but contrary to her expectations, he simply waited with the engine running. A man had set up a flower stand on the sidewalk, just far enough from the entrance to be legal; Ellen had noticed him the night before. Clusters of pink carnations and tasteful, little bouquets of mixed flowers sat in containers of water behind the stand. Big, single red roses, each in its own container, occupied the place of honor near the front, next to little bunches of violets. The flowers were beautiful, but Ellen barely glanced at the display as she sat, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel of the Taurus.  Strange! That the man capture her atention. Can be the stalker or the polices.  Let Ellen be arrested for suspicious, so Clark have to bail her out. I called Jim to see if he and Sandi could give her a ride in the morning. Sandi said they couldn't do it tomorrow, but they could the next day, so I'm going to pick her up in the morning, if you don't mind."  Clark can't be hurt but Jimmy will be. She had inadvertently left her cellular phone in the charger, this morning, but there was a pay phone not far from the Daily Planet. She would give this "Candy" a call. They went straight to Perry's office. They probably tell her she is not in or maybe the police can trace the call. That will be fun. "Was," Wolff said. "He was found this morning in his car, out on Route 7. He'd been shot. Exactly when did you see him last, Ms. Valenzuela?"  Is not nice of you to leave us hanging. More soon, please. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Rolling nicely along, enjoying... and bam! Nicely done!  Can't wait for the next part!
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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I think I hate you.  How could you leave us hanging like that? It's not fair! 
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Keladry, love the sig! Welcome to non-lurkerdom!
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hey Nan... Great instalment 
Is it a bird?" "Is it a plane?" "No, it's just a guy in tights and a cape!"
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Kerth
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Kerth
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I hope Lois and Clark tell soon Ellen the truth, otherwise... trouble. more soon! Jose (who had now the whole timele read )
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Nan An excellent part! Candy seems to be in a lot of trouble. Lois and Clark definitely need to talk to Ellen. I can see her heading for trouble as well.  I'm completely hooked and can't wait to see what happens next. Tricia 
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Nan, I'm reading this somewhat 'carefully'. I don't like situations where Lois and Clark have kids nor do I like Ellen Lane as a character. It's just your skill and talent as a writer that has me checking this out at all. I can almost see a situation coming up. Since the stalker now seems to be targeting Candy's 'dates' Clark might feel that he'll have to put himself into that role to trap the culprit without risking anyone else's life. Won't Ellen love that! Tank (who is constantly amazed at Nan's abilities with plots, but is constantly dismayed by her insistant that children have a place in Lois and Clark stories)
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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As always, this is another excellent posting. It makes Tuesdays nice. (I am assuming that you post it after 4:30pm CST) Since I read Daddy's Little Girl, I've had a sinking feeling about Ellen and Sam finding out and reading this one just confirms it. What if, when they tell them the truth, Ellen just takes it to a ridiculous extreme. ~~~~~
Ellen is stunned. ~Clark is Superman! That explains everything....~
An angry look comes across her face. She jumps up and stands nose to chest with her Son-in-law of Steel. "Now I know why you keep disappearing. You just can't keep it in your pants and urge hits you, you use your handy-dandy super speed to go anywhere you want in the world. I bet you have hundreds of lovers!"
She turns to Lois. "See, I told you that he was no good!"
~~~~~
or something like that. James 
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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Nan,
moving right along
excellent part
more soon please
merry
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Just great, Nan. Maybe Ellen has spotted the stalker, eh? James, you have an evil, but very compelling, take on the thing!! What an idea! Looking forward to more as fast as you can! Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
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Still churning along nicely, Nan - curioser and curioser. I find myself becoming a little angry with Lois and Clark on Sam and Ellen's behalf. It wouldn't surprise me at all if she wasn't hurt rather than angry at being kept out of the loop all these years. I know she's a bit of a flake in the past, but her relationship with Sam has been stable for some years now, so I'd have expected her to calm down a little and they are family and her concern for her grandchildren and Lois is obvious. But I imagine that Clark will handle that revelation sensitively and come up with a good reason why they were never included in the family business. That's if they ever get there of course. <g> It hadn't occurred to me until reading this folder that Ellen might get herself in trouble being too close to Candy - I'm worried now.  LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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