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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Yay! I open the FDK folder for the first time in days  Nice take in BatP/HoL, Nan  and now... where's Lori? 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 442 |
Oooh, wonderful! You seem to have neatly avoided the "reset" button that apparently had FoLCs screaming at the end of S1.  Just out of curiosity: was that really a single conversation that was so very condemning, or did Clark tape a number of conversations to get all the dirty stuff? And I think you might want "implied" rather than "inferred," although I do understand there are two schools of thought on that. This was a wonderful rewrite, Nan. All we needed was a little less lunkhead and a bit more Mad Dog Lane to get the *right* ending to HoL! Hazel
Lois: You know the deal.
Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.
-- Action Comics 827
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Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1 |
Hi Hazel. No, it was several conversations, as I tried to indicate in this paragraph:
"As she had listened, from the first conversation where he had implied an ongoing sexual relationship with his executive assistant -- one that he intended to continue after his marriage, and of which his wife would remain unaware -- to the final conversation wherein he carelessly ordered Mrs. Cox to make certain that the "incentives" to several members of the City Council regarding certain zoning ordinances were completely untraceable, she had been aware of a growing sense of dismay that rose rapidly to sheer fury."
I think that indicates that there was more than one.
I'll go over the story a little and pretty it up a bit before it goes to the Archive, but I'm glad that people seemed to like it. It actually came from another idea of mine, but rapidly morphed into something I hadn't envisioned, so the original idea is still out there to be used later.
Nan
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
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Great job, Nan! I also liked where you left us at the end. I was sort of expecting a revelation, but that is left for 'some other day'. You managed to retell BatP without sticking Clark in that awful cage, too. It was nice to see Lois back in the drivers seat, listening to Clark's evidence and making her own choice. You left the Lois/Clark relationship at a nice resting point, with promise for the future. Always a "Nan fan", LaurieD
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
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Great! I got my wish! Lois knows Clark's feelings and they're going on from there. Lovely epilogue, Nan! And I laughed out loud at the last sentence. Just a great ending to a great story. Sira -
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Dec 2004
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You seem to have neatly avoided the "reset" button that apparently had FoLCs screaming at the end of S1. Yes!!! Nice ending Nan!
Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
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A wonderful ending to a wonderful story! I love that not only is the reset button gone, but Lois didn't just throw herself into Clark's arms.. I like the "let's see how it goes" approach.
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
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Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Oct 2004
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Great ending Nan!!! I am a big fan of your stories!! Karla
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Aug 2003
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I liked it, too! You did a great job tidying up some loose ends, without taking their relationship backwards. I think (despite my earlier ramblings) that you have written just the right ending for this particular story.
And at the risk of appearing to nag... the ending allows the possiblity of a second... and third... etc... story...
~Toc
TicAndToc :o)
------
"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."
-Elayne Boosler
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Very nice, yes indeed.
James
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jul 2003
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I think you brought them to exactly where they should be.
This was smart and tense and fun and poignant.
Really so nicely done!
CC
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
Nan An excellent epilogue!  I thoroughly enjoyed it. Tricia 
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