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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 430
Beat Reporter
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OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 430 |
Feedback goes here  Many thanks!!!
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Fantastic part!! 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 148
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 148 |
Great part! I love the way you write Lois' inner babbling and the way you reveal Thompson's plot through Lois' reasoning. I'm also very happy that although shocked Lois is still concerned for Clark and determined to save him. Waiting for Monday, Avia
"I get it, you're a ghost. You're dead. Big accomplishment, move on. You see a light anywhere? Go towards it okay?"
Cordelia in 'Rm w/a Vu' - Angel episode 1x05
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 719
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 719 |
Beautiful. How else to say what I think about this?
You have us every step of the way through their thoughts, and as I said last time, it's riveting.
i cannot wait til Monday!
Silence is violence. End white supremacy based violence
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Wow! Poor Clark! Come on Lois think of something. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part.  Why Lois don't remember how she got there? The other two guards wormed their way in, and walked over to Clark's prone form.
"What are you doing?" she hissed, as one took hold of Clark's limp arms, and the other his legs.
Thompson smiled. "Merely taking him somewhere more comfortable so that I may deal with you." Poor Clark.  They probably want to make him believe she is being torture. "A chance?" she asked, incredulous. "You kidnapped me and Clark. You're holding us hostage with loaded guns. One of which you *shot* at me. You own some crazy xenophobic alien police force. You murdered a woman and blamed it on Clark. Trask is Darth Vader to your Emperor, endlessly tormenting an innocent man to the point where I've had to badger him all week just for one measly clue or two about you. And you expect me to give you a *chance?* What do you think I am, galacticly stupid?" She use all her information and Trask is not there to heard that Thompson was the murder of his wife. She *had* to get out of here. And she *had* to save Clark.
Lois stared at the bullet hole over the door handle for a long set of moments. Slowly, a plan had begun to hatch. A crazy one. But it would never hurt to try.
She was suddenly very, very happy she had opted to change into sweats and sneakers before she'd come on this little jaunt.
She reached down to her white Keds, and began to work a shoelace free. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999 |
That was fun!
Tank (who can only say to Lois... you go girl)
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384 |
Another excellent chapter! I was very happy that you went back and relived those last few minutes, this time from Lois' pov. It was a riot to follow her thoughts along as she struggled to make sense out of what she was reading. Loislanitis. That was it. Symptoms: hallucinations, fluttery heartbeat, headaches, shaky limbs, and sudden suspicion that your partner is a Martian.  - Vicki
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 370
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 370 |
Great part . Looking forward to the next part, ~Julia 
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Diane, I've been meaning to post feedback on this ever since I read it a couple of days ago. I kept telling myself that, if I just waited a little longer, I'd be able to come up with the words I needed to tell you how amazingly good this section is. That I could arrive at a way to describe how I felt while reading it. That I would be able to express eloquently and articulately just how well you've written Lois and her internal tumble of thoughts and logic and bewilderment here, as well as Clark's reaction to the Kryptonite as seen through her eyes. Well, I've thought and thought. And here's my comment: WOW!!  And now - please come back and get them out of this!!  And please get this story finished and on the archive by year-end so that I can include it on my Kerth list! Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
Diane This is excellent. Please post more soon. Tricia 
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