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#175450 - 10/20/03 12:23 PM Caption Competition XII
Queen of the Capes Offline
Kerth

Registered: 07/24/03
Posts: 2194
Loc: Wouldn't YOU like to know?
The last thread looked like it was getting kinda full, so I started a new one. I hope no-one minds?
So many pictures, it's hard to choose. At first I couldn't make up my mind...then I saw this:
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Dating Sims for girls. Because Bishies!

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#175451 - 10/20/03 12:30 PM Re: Caption Competition XII
Julie S Offline
Member

Registered: 08/30/03
Posts: 1167
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Superman: No... sorry, Lois. It's not vodka.
_________________________
Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?

(The X-Files)

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#175452 - 10/20/03 03:24 PM Re: Caption Competition XII
HatMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 2564
Loc: Third star to the right and st...
superman: so, let me get this straight... you're calling yourself "ultrawoman," and you're wearing a purple suit with lavender accents and a teal cape, and you think you have super powers.

lois: yes, exactly.

superman: and what have you had to eat or drink recently?

lois: just that water over there. why do you ask?

---

superman: wait, stop! that's not an ordinary bottle of water!

delivery man: what do you mean? sure it is. ... oh, it's you, superman. well, if you say so, i'll trust you.

superman: just as i thought, lois. this is expensive imported mineral water. and the suits upstairs said they couldn't afford to give us a raise!

---

kal-el: hmm, odd. this substance appears to be dihydrogen monoxide. why would the earthlings keep it in such a prominent location? do you think it has some sort of cultural significance?

---

superman: hmm, yes. clever of him, but i've seen this trick before. the water coolant system has been replaced with a heating system, to excite the ion particles. it was sabatoge! that's why all the drinking water in town is lukewarm! ooo... he's sunk to a new low...

---

superman: ah-ha! the water in this tank has been spiked!

ultrawoman: with what? alcohol? poison? drugs?

superman: no, worse than that. it's... berry blue kool-aid.

---

superman: hey, wait a second... this water smells just like that stuff from the space rats, and that means... it's all mine!!

---

superman: yes... i see now... it was all a set-up, designed to lure us here...

ultrawoman: what is it? what's in the tank?

superman: water.

ultrawoman: water?

superman: yes. careful, lois. we're about to be asaulted with... water balloons!

---

superman: this stuff smells familiar. it smells like... what is it? ... i got it! eau de chat #7. wow. cat really buys her perfume in bulk, doesn't she?

---

UW: superman, wait! i think that barrel is full of miranda's pheremone perfume. if you smell it now, without your powers, you'll... wait, never mind. sniff to your heart's content, big guy.

---

superman: oh no! ultrawoman, you have to get this stuff out of here, fast!

UW: what is it?

SM: you don't want to know.

UW: just tell me.

SM: it's... a leftover case of crystal pepsi.

---



SM: lois, quick! get this bottle out of here and replace it with a clean one!

UW: what? what is it?

SM: well, without my powers, it seems i'm vulnerable to...

UW: what?

SM: pollen. i just sneezed in the tank.

---

UW: is that what i think it is?

SM: yup. my next delivery of hair gel. what with air friction and all, i burn through this stuff faster than you'd believe.

(note: this caption inspired by a sudden memory of this story by bethy and shivasaavik.)
_________________________
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.

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#175453 - 10/20/03 04:03 PM Re: Caption Competition XII
Shadow Offline
Member

Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 3627
Loc: Gulf Shores, AL
Superman: I still don't get it. Why would they make Skittle flavored water?

Ultrawoman: Because it tastes good. Now taste the rainbow for crying out loud! We've got things to do!


JD
LOL, probably not my finest, but I'll get back in shape.
_________________________
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy

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#175454 - 10/20/03 09:08 PM Re: Caption Competition XII
Anonymous
Unregistered


Lois: Beware, you're gonna ruin your suit and you know how Martha gets touchy on that issue!

Carole smile1

Quote:
LOL, probably not my finest, but I'll get back in shape.
It can't be worse than mine laugh

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#175455 - 10/22/03 11:43 AM Re: Caption Competition XII
Wanda Detroit Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/03
Posts: 379
Loc: Brooklyn, NY
Superman: "I don't understand it, Ultrawoman."

Ultrawoman: "Me neither!"

Superman: "There doesn't seem to be anything in there...So what is it that makes these earthlings gather around these 'water cooler' things, anyway?"
_________________________
"He's a man. I'm a woman. Do you want me to draw you a diagram?" -Lois Lane, I've Got a Crush on You.

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#175456 - 10/22/03 12:23 PM Re: Caption Competition XII
ChiefPam Offline

Pulitzer

Registered: 04/22/03
Posts: 3643
Loc: North Carolina, USA
These are all good, but... I'm loving the water cooler one! rotflol

PJ
_________________________
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."

--Stardust, Caroline K

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#175457 - 10/22/03 02:11 PM Re: Caption Competition XII
Queen of the Capes Offline
Kerth

Registered: 07/24/03
Posts: 2194
Loc: Wouldn't YOU like to know?
Quote:
Originally posted by HatMan:


UW: superman, wait! i think that barrel is full of miranda's pheremone perfume. if you smell it now, without your powers, you'll... wait, never mind. sniff to your heart's content, big guy.

goofy
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Dating Sims for girls. Because Bishies!

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#175458 - 10/22/03 02:46 PM Re: Caption Competition XII
HatMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 2564
Loc: Third star to the right and st...
cool, thanks! smile glad you liked it. smile

so, new pic.

well, see what you can do with this one...

(hope it hasn't been used before... not sure.)

_________________________
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.

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#175459 - 10/22/03 02:52 PM Re: Caption Competition XII
rivka Offline
Member

Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 1587
Loc: Los Angeles, CA, USA
OMG! Lois! Did Tank cut your hair AGAIN?
_________________________
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.

- Under the Tuscan Sun

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#175460 - 10/22/03 02:58 PM Re: Caption Competition XII
Wanda Detroit Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/03
Posts: 379
Loc: Brooklyn, NY
The nfic version....


Clark: "When you said you liked things kinky, Lois, I had no idea you'd go THIS FAR!!"


-Wanda "My Mind's in the Gutter" Detroit wink
_________________________
"He's a man. I'm a woman. Do you want me to draw you a diagram?" -Lois Lane, I've Got a Crush on You.

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#175461 - 10/22/03 03:19 PM Re: Caption Competition XII
Crazy_Babe Offline
Merriwether

Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 1716
Loc: Sydney Australia
Clark: Lois, tying me with chains made on Kyrpton wasn't what I had in mind when you said you wanted to inject more romance into our relationship!
_________________________
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched they must be felt with the heart

Helen Keller

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#175462 - 10/22/03 04:41 PM Re: Caption Competition XII
Shadow Offline
Member

Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 3627
Loc: Gulf Shores, AL
Clark: Lois, when I said I wanted to be more spontaneous, spending the night behind bars was *not* what I had in mind.
Lois: It just goes to show how little you know about theft. When you're stealing a street-sign, you do *not* stop and talk to the cops beforehand.

JD
_________________________
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy

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#175463 - 10/22/03 06:09 PM Re: Caption Competition XII
BanAnna Offline

Columnist

Registered: 04/22/03
Posts: 713
Loc: Glendale, CA
Lois! What do you mean you don't have the key?!

~Anna

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#175464 - 10/23/03 12:47 AM Re: Caption Competition XII
Anonymous
Unregistered


smile1

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#175465 - 10/24/03 03:25 AM Re: Caption Competition XII
KathyB Offline

Merriwether

Registered: 04/22/03
Posts: 1562
Loc: Indiana
Clark: "You said I needed some new suits; I said fine. You said I should go to the new clothing store on 41st Street; I said fine. But don't you think you should have mentioned that Rolf was the new tailor and he'd be the one measuring my inseam?!?"


Kathy wink

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#175466 - 10/26/03 10:39 AM Re: Caption Competition XII
HatMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 2564
Loc: Third star to the right and st...
okay. been about a day and a half since the last caption, so i guess it's time to pick a winner so we can get the new pic.

this one's a close call. i've gone back and forth on it a few times in the past day or so, when i realized i'd probably have to pick a winner soon. i've been hoping someone else would post something newer and even more brilliant to make it easier for me. it's strange. i was all set to pick one, but then, when i came back and looked them over again, a different one struck me funnier. i guess it all depends on frame of mind when you read them or something.

anyway, i'll stop blabbering on. the winner this time is...

/sound # drumroll.wav

Quote:
Clark: "You said I needed some new suits; I said fine. You said I should go to the new clothing store on 41st Street; I said fine. But don't you think you should have mentioned that Rolf was the new tailor and he'd be the one measuring my inseam?!?"
rotflol

(though i'm still trying to figure out whether this is rolf's basement or jail, both work really well.)

you're up, kathy! smile

Paul
_________________________
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.

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#175467 - 10/27/03 02:48 AM Re: Caption Competition XII
KathyB Offline

Merriwether

Registered: 04/22/03
Posts: 1562
Loc: Indiana
LOL, Paul, I'm glad you liked it. It's nice to know I'm not the only one with this sense of humor. laugh

OK, here we go ... let's see what you guys can do with this one:




Kathy

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#175468 - 10/27/03 06:52 AM Re: Caption Competition XII
Crazy_Babe Offline
Merriwether

Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 1716
Loc: Sydney Australia
Superman: I see officer, so Graceland is in that direction ready Mr. White?
Perry: Uh Superman I appreciate the offer of a flight to Graceland but this method of transport wasn't what I had in mind.
_________________________
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched they must be felt with the heart

Helen Keller

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#175469 - 10/27/03 08:51 AM Re: Caption Competition XII
HatMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 2564
Loc: Third star to the right and st...
lol, kathy. i don't know if you really want to claim a shared sense of humor with me, but hey- if you think so, go right ahead. smile just don't be too surprised when the nice people in the white coats come to check on you. wink

hmm... captions. let's see...

---

lois, he says he still won't give you a raise. what should i do with him now?

---

the chair goes in that corner, jimmy? okay, if you say so. you know... it's odd. i could swear it was moving. i know i can't see anything on it, but it really feels strange. you're not trying out one of those tricks you learned from baron sunday last night, are you? some kind of rumble chair or something? no, well, if you say so, i believe you. you're the boss.

---

you ready, nor? this is it. if i do this, you'll have lost, and you and your army will have to leave the earth and never come back. (of course, if i miss... no, can't think about that...) here goes. eight ball, corner pocket.

---

good morning. this is your captain speaking. it's a clear day, 72 degrees and sunny. we'll be cruising today at 7000 feet as we head over towards washington, DC. i have an open taxiway, so we'll be preparing to take off shortly. flight time should be about 1 minute, 15 seconds. our in-flight movie will be a one-handed rendition of "little rabbit foo-foo." unfortunately, we will not have time for beverage service. in case of emergecy, exits are located here, here, and here. please note that federal regulations prohibit smoking on this flight. sit back, relax, make sure your office chair is in the full upright and locked position, and prepare for takeoff. thank you for flying "superman express."

---
_________________________
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.

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