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#135221 - 04/11/12 12:39 AM 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Lynn S. M. Offline
Pulitzer

Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 3567
Loc: Delaware
If Clark weren't a reporter, what would he do for a living? The challenge is to come up with 100 other (preferably humorous) alternate occupations for Clark. Here are a few to get started:

1) Clark owns the "Super-Speedy Delivery Service." His motto? When it absolutely, positively has to be there in the next minute.

2) Clark decides to be a beach bum. He becomes a living metal detector and lives off the spare change he finds on the beach.

3) Clark gets a security job at an airport.

Next?

Joy,
Lynn

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#135222 - 04/11/12 02:05 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Lara Joelle Kent Offline
Kerth

Registered: 09/24/06
Posts: 2292
Loc: Germany
4) Clark could work as a CT scanner in a hospital. (Wait, that's a machine? Doesn't matter.)
5) Alternately, he could step in for the X-ray apparatus or.... whatever.
6) With his vision gizmo thingy, he could easily live of mining gold. Or gems.
7)He could be "Big Brother". (As in, "Big Brother is watching you.")
8)Kryptonian super translation service: Translations into more than 100 languages.
9) Tavel agent Kent: Has been everywhere, knows every special little out-of-the-way place in the world.
10) Superman Airline. 'Nuff said.
_________________________
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)

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#135223 - 04/11/12 02:45 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Christina Offline
Top Banana

Registered: 01/17/10
Posts: 1309
Loc: Cape Girardeau
I'm going to state a few obvious ones before they get in the way (help me make them funny, please!)

11) He'd be a firefighter, think about those miraculous saves and surprise cold winds!

12) He's a policemam

13) He's a writer (way overused variant in fanfic)

14) He's a clown in the Metropolis version of the Ringling Brothers Circus

15) He's an illusionist (using his powers to make the "magic" happen.) Slight of hand is nothing to an alien with superspeed!

16) He's a sports star! (see Superman Inc. comic for the backstory)

17) If there's a version of Barnum's Museum, he'd be "the alien from afar!"
_________________________
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)

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#135224 - 04/11/12 02:47 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Christina Offline
Top Banana

Registered: 01/17/10
Posts: 1309
Loc: Cape Girardeau
Quote:
Originally posted by Lara Joelle Kent:

8)Kryptonian super translation service: Translations into more than 100 languages.

10) Superman Airline. 'Nuff said.
on 8) I guess a linguist, which works well with the "well traveled" thing he did as most linguists are also anthropologists (admittedly usually specializing in a single language but why stop at one?)

on 10) "Offering discrete private travel for the right price!
_________________________
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)

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#135225 - 04/11/12 02:52 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Christina Offline
Top Banana

Registered: 01/17/10
Posts: 1309
Loc: Cape Girardeau
whoops, sorry this is a double-post (accidentally his reply instead of edit.)
_________________________
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)

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#135226 - 04/11/12 03:01 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
VirginiaR Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner

Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 9508
Loc: USA
I'm guessing we're at about 18 now...

#18 - Chef - speciallizing in gourmet lunches in five minutes or less. laugh
#18a - Clark makes cuisine with an International style (meaning he create a wide variety of dishes from all over the world). wink
#18b - Clark also does catering on request

#19 - Cooking Teacher - If he can even teach Lois how to boil water (or burn bacon, whatever), he can teach anyone. laugh

#20 - Farmer

#21 - Deep sea diver (explorer)

#22 - Pearl diver

#23 - Underwater Treasure Hunter

(I think he actually did this in some fic! Not for a living, but for extra cash.)

#23a - His business partner is Aquaman. laugh

#24 - Teacher:
#24a - Elementary school because he's great with kids (because as a high school teacher none of his female students would pass due to drool )
#24b - English
#24c - Wood working
#24d - Welding (I know :rolleyes: , they do teach this is some schools!)
#24e - Coach
_________________________
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.

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#135227 - 04/11/12 05:19 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Marcus Rowland Offline
Kerth

Registered: 12/18/05
Posts: 2441
Loc: London, England
25 - Pipe and cable "diviner" for the construction industry.
_________________________
Marcus L. Rowland
Forgotten Futures, The Scientific Romance Role Playing Game

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#135228 - 04/11/12 06:52 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Darth Michael Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner

Registered: 04/30/07
Posts: 7893
I know, I know :rolleyes: but it's just so perfectly out there...

#26 He could probably establish a career as an 'actor', using the stage name of 'Superstud'.

peep Michael
_________________________
I go by Michael on the Archives.

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#135229 - 04/11/12 06:57 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
VirginiaR Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner

Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 9508
Loc: USA
Quote:
Originally posted by Darth Michael:
I know, I know :rolleyes: but it's just so perfectly out there...

#26 He could probably establish a career as an 'actor', using the stage name of 'Superstud'.

peep Michael
Don't you mean:

#27 - Professional Wrestler with the same name. laugh
_________________________
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.

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#135230 - 04/11/12 07:01 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Darth Michael Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner

Registered: 04/30/07
Posts: 7893
#27a: Wrestler's name would be Studmuffin.

Also, MLT had the Superman impersonator from... umm...somewhere in S2... in #26's line of work. So, there's precedent.

wave Michael
_________________________
I go by Michael on the Archives.

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#135231 - 04/11/12 07:12 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Lynn S. M. Offline
Pulitzer

Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 3567
Loc: Delaware
28. He could earn a living as a Dean Cain impersonator.

Joy,
Lynn

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#135232 - 04/11/12 08:48 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Deadly Chakram Online   happy
Pulitzer

Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 4751
Loc: Connecticut
29. Personal trainer - because who *wouldn't* be motivated to look like him?

30. Male model - because who *doesn't* want to look *at* him?

31. Astronaut - those space-walks would be a cinch!

32. Moving man - Grand piano need to get up five flights of stairs? No probelem.

33. Drug sniffing "dog" - the nose knows!

34. Police officer - Facing down a gang with lots of guns? That's easy.

35. Jeopardy contestant - All that random trivia he knows would allow him to compete...forever.

36. Super Solider (pick your branch of choice) - For when you absolutely, positively need to find terrorists in the next minute and a half.

37. Pizza (or any food really) delivery boy - If it doesn't come within 30 seconds, it's free.

38. Professional poker player - You can't bluff if the other guy can x-ray your cards!
_________________________
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"It's all weird! We live in Metropolis!" ~ Jimmy Olsen

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#135233 - 04/11/12 09:00 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Darth Michael Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner

Registered: 04/30/07
Posts: 7893
39. Male muse for thus-inclined LnC fanfic authors.

Michael

PS: No, has nothing to do with waiting for next bondage session with DC's lawyers spider
_________________________
I go by Michael on the Archives.

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#135234 - 04/11/12 09:08 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Lynn S. M. Offline
Pulitzer

Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 3567
Loc: Delaware
Quote:
Originally posted by Deadly Chakram:
35. Jeopardy contestant - All that random trivia he knows would allow him to compete...forever.
35a. Not to mention that he will *always* be first to hit the buzzer when he knows a question.

Joy,
Lynn

p.s., I've been enjoying all of the jobs so far. And as for the male muse... I have been looking for a new muse ever since that birthday fic fiasco. If Clark applied, I'd hire him in a heartbeat.

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#135235 - 04/11/12 09:13 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Deadly Chakram Online   happy
Pulitzer

Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 4751
Loc: Connecticut
quote:
Originally posted by Darth Michael:
39. Male muse for thus-inclined LnC fanfic authors.

Michael

PS: No, has nothing to do with waiting for next bondage session with DC's lawyers rotflol rotflol rotflol rotflol
_________________________
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"It's all weird! We live in Metropolis!" ~ Jimmy Olsen

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#135236 - 04/11/12 09:58 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Christina Offline
Top Banana

Registered: 01/17/10
Posts: 1309
Loc: Cape Girardeau
Quote:
Originally posted by Deadly Chakram:

34. Police officer - Facing down a gang with lots of guns? That's easy.
I mentioned this one earlier so I'll replace it with...

34) Librarian-all that encyclopedic knowledge would come in handy, plus think about those nerdy ladies and retirees drooling over him!
_________________________
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)

Top
#135237 - 04/11/12 10:19 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Deadly Chakram Online   happy
Pulitzer

Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 4751
Loc: Connecticut
Quote:
Originally posted by Christina:
Quote:
Originally posted by Deadly Chakram:
[b]
34. Police officer - Facing down a gang with lots of guns? That's easy.
I mentioned this one earlier so I'll replace it with...

34) Librarian-all that encyclopedic knowledge would come in handy, plus think about those nerdy ladies and retirees drooling over him! [/b]
Whoops! Not sure how I missed that one! Thanks! smile
_________________________
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"It's all weird! We live in Metropolis!" ~ Jimmy Olsen

Top
#135238 - 04/11/12 10:37 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Lara Joelle Kent Offline
Kerth

Registered: 09/24/06
Posts: 2292
Loc: Germany
Since someone already mentioned the real thing...
35) Clark could work as a Superman impersonator. Can't tell him apart from the real thing, can you?

36) Mount - giving free rides to orphans and the like.

37) Scientist. I mean, come on, that guy can talk shop with Dr. Klein!
37a) Material researcher - try and copy the material your space ship (or the globe, for that matter) is made from
37b) Rocket engineer would work, too. Just copy your parents' work.

38) Street artist, doing sketches of passers-by. Super and fast.

39) Paper delivery boy - for all of New Troy. He'd be done in no time, really.

40) Some kind of circus artist - after all, he can do everything.
40a) Trapeze artist - never falls down, never lets his partner(s) fall, either.
40b) Strongest man of the world. Find anything he can't lift...
40c) Psychic. "Draw a card. Don't show it to me. Now, think of it very hard. Yes, I can see it..." Whether he'll simply use his X-ray vision or his Kryptonian telepathy for this trick is up to debate.
_________________________
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)

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#135239 - 04/11/12 10:42 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
Mouserocks Offline
Merriwether

Registered: 06/22/11
Posts: 1688
Loc: California
Quote:
Originally posted by Lara Joelle Kent:
36) Mount - giving free rides to orphans and the like.
rotflol rotflol And the like. laugh

41) Private Investigator. You need to find something, he's your guy. Good at getting guys to talk. Not too bad with the ladies, either. wink
_________________________
"If we got murdered right now, I'd feel *so* ripped off."
-- Richard Castle

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#135240 - 04/11/12 10:45 AM Re: 100 Other Jobs Challenge
VirginiaR Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner

Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 9508
Loc: USA
Quote:
Originally posted by Mouserocks:
41) Private Investigator. You need to find something, he's your guy. Good at getting guys to talk. Not too bad with the ladies, either. wink
#41a - Unless you're looking for Lois; he seems to be really good at not finding her.
_________________________
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.

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