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#134915 - 01/02/12 06:39 AM Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Lynn S. M. Offline
Pulitzer

Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 2635
Loc: Delaware
Turnabout is fair play. If Lois gets her own instruction manual (See the Lois Lane 101 thread ), then so should Clark.

And to start it off:

Rule #1 - He may be super, but he isn't perfect.

Rule #2 - He can be incredibly stubborn. At times, you need to be even more so. At other times, you need to swallow your pride and go along with what he wants. The trick is to know which time is which.

Rule #3 - His heart is always in the right place, but that doesn't mean his head is.

Rule #4 - He's a lot more than a simple hack from Nowheresville.

Rule #5 - He's not as absentminded as all of his "I forgot..." excuses would have you believe. Look closer!

Rule #6 - Do I have to spell it out for you? Hello! Duh! Clark Kent is Superman!

Rule #7 - If you ever need help trying to understand him, just ask Martha.

Rule #8 - If you see him cock his head like a bird, be prepared for him to take flight.

Rule #9 - He may be (nearly) invulnerable physically, but he is very vulnerable emotionally. Handle with care.

Anyone want to see if we can reach 100 rules?

Joy,
Lynn

p.s., Just an aside: Tomorrow starts a new semester for me -- one that I anticipate being insanely busy. I'll probably become very quiet on the MB again for the next few months. :-( I'll try to drop by as time permits.

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#134916 - 01/02/12 08:35 AM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
VirginiaR Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner

Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 7834
Loc: USA
Rule #10 - If he tries to break up with you for your own good, don't let him get away with it.
_________________________
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.

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#134917 - 01/02/12 08:36 AM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Lynn S. M. Offline
Pulitzer

Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 2635
Loc: Delaware
Rule #11 = Keep him away from any rocks that glow green. Or red. Or any other colour, for that matter.

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#134918 - 01/02/12 08:38 AM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
VirginiaR Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner

Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 7834
Loc: USA
Rule #12 - Always let him go first. He'll feel more manly, and you'll be able to check out things from behind.
_________________________
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.

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#134919 - 01/02/12 08:41 AM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Lynn S. M. Offline
Pulitzer

Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 2635
Loc: Delaware
Rule 12a -- Make sure he doesn't have his fingers crossed.

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#134920 - 01/02/12 03:22 PM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Deadly Chakram Offline
Pulitzer

Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3173
Loc: Connecticut
Rule #13 - Keep away from people named Mayson.

Rule #14 - A kiss/declaration of love is a good way of keeping him in Metropolis when it looks like he's going to run away.

Rule #15 - Failing #14 - look into microchipping/Lojacking him. It'll make him a lot easier to find.

Rule #16 - Ask youself if any of his lame excuses *really* make any sense. When in doubt, investigate. If it sounds too bizzarre (ie Cheese of the Month club) it probably isn't true.

Rule #17 - You can use "lunkhead" as a term of endearment with him.

Rule #18 - For sex, just feed him pasta.

Rule #18a - When following the above rule, be warned that he may be insatiable. He *is* Superman, after all.
_________________________
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"It's all weird! We live in Metropolis!" ~ Jimmy Olsen

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#134921 - 01/02/12 10:40 PM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Ultra Woman Offline
Kerth

Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 2341
Loc: Brazil - RS
Quote:
Rule #16 - Ask youself if any of his lame excuses *really* make any sense. When in doubt, investigate. If it sounds too bizzarre (ie Cheese of the Month club) it probably isn't true.
You'd be surprised: Cheese of the Month Club

Rule #19 - He is not schizophrenic, he just has a bad habit of talking about himself in the third person.

Rule #20 - He is not schizophrenic but he can get jealous of himself. Don't pine over him when he is wearing the suit.

Rule #21 - Never give him a plain, monochromatic tie.
_________________________
Clark to Lois: "You're not my weakness. You're my strength."

"You're not in my way. You're by my side."

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#134922 - 01/02/12 11:39 PM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Deadly Chakram Offline
Pulitzer

Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3173
Loc: Connecticut
Quote:
Originally posted by Ultra Woman:
You'd be surprised: Cheese of the Month Club
jawdrop
_________________________
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"It's all weird! We live in Metropolis!" ~ Jimmy Olsen

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#134923 - 01/03/12 06:27 AM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Mouserocks Offline
Top Banana

Registered: 06/22/11
Posts: 1485
Loc: California
Rule #22 - If lunkhead side of him becomes out of control, call in the big guns: his mother.
_________________________
Castle: Every morning I bring you a cup of coffee, just so I can see a smile on your face. Because I think you are the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating, person I've ever met. And I love you Kate...
(sounds like Clark, huh?)

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#134924 - 01/03/12 02:13 PM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
shimauma Offline
Features Writer

Registered: 02/17/07
Posts: 877
Rule #23 - 1000 watt grin is exceedingly helpful to increased libido...daily use is recommended

Rule #24 - Deep copper brown gaze has been known to cause swooning...also recommended daily...several doses




TEEEEEEJ
_________________________
Jayne Cobb: Shepherd Book once said to me, "If you can't do something smart, do something RIGHT!

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#134925 - 01/04/12 02:46 AM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Christina Offline
Top Banana

Registered: 01/17/10
Posts: 1053
Loc: Cape Girardeau
Rule #25 - If he runs off on you in the middle of a conversation, take a deep breath. It's not you and it's not him. It's someone needing help.

Rule #26- If Clark Kent dies in front of you, make a call to his parents in Smallville for advice. Hopefully they'll give you a little solace in a way you may not realize.
_________________________
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)

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#134926 - 01/04/12 09:38 PM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Lynn S. M. Offline
Pulitzer

Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 2635
Loc: Delaware
Rule #27 - If you are not ready to accept his proposal, be sure to emphasize that "not yet" does NOT mean "never."

Joy,
Lynn

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#134927 - 01/04/12 11:33 PM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Christina Offline
Top Banana

Registered: 01/17/10
Posts: 1053
Loc: Cape Girardeau
Rule #28- Never, ever let him push you away, especially when affected by Red Kryptonite. He needs your help more than ever on those occasions.

Rule #29- When New Kryptonians arrive to have him come with them, be supportive but make sure he knows where you stand on the decision.

Rule #30- When Clark is injured, be worried. Very worried.
_________________________
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)

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#134928 - 01/18/12 10:00 AM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Mouserocks Offline
Top Banana

Registered: 06/22/11
Posts: 1485
Loc: California
Rule #31 - If approached by an older English gentleman claiming to be HG Wells, and Clark decides to follow him, don't hesitate to go along. Chances are you've done it before and you'll do it again. laugh

Rule #32 - Clark is your soulmate. Knowing that may save you a lot of grief on down the road and make forgiveness easier to find.

Rule #33 - Yes, forgiveness will be necessary in your relationship. Refer to rules containing the words "lunkhead" or "stubborn".

Rule #34 - Clark is a v... very patient man. Patience, however unlikely, may be necessary on your side as well. Keep that in mind before jumping his bones. It may just save you. wink
_________________________
Castle: Every morning I bring you a cup of coffee, just so I can see a smile on your face. Because I think you are the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating, person I've ever met. And I love you Kate...
(sounds like Clark, huh?)

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#134929 - 01/18/12 10:33 AM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
VirginiaR Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner

Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 7834
Loc: USA
Rule #35 - Though he may seem be two sides of the coin, he's very jealous of his Super side. Make sure you let him know that you love his Clark side more. (repeat as often as necessary)

Rule #36 - When going anywhere outside of Metropolis (and sometime within), please take him along with you.

Rule #37 - If he seems to be psychic, it's only because he has super hearing and he's been listening in on your conversations.
- #37B - Never say anything outloud you wouldn't want Clark to hear (unless you know he's safely out of town).

Rule #38 - Be careful what you inadvertantly wish for, unless you really, really want it. This applies to (but not limited by): snow from the Andees, huge bars of Swiss chocolate, pearls from Japan, or enough French cheese to last you a year.
_________________________
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.

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#134930 - 01/18/12 10:48 AM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Lynn S. M. Offline
Pulitzer

Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 2635
Loc: Delaware
Rule #39 - Clark may wear leaded glasses only when he is in his civvies, but his rose-coloured glasses never come off.

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#134931 - 01/18/12 03:35 PM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Deadly Chakram Offline
Pulitzer

Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3173
Loc: Connecticut
Rule #40 - For best results, place into direct sunlight.
_________________________
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"It's all weird! We live in Metropolis!" ~ Jimmy Olsen

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#134932 - 01/19/12 07:52 AM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Mouserocks Offline
Top Banana

Registered: 06/22/11
Posts: 1485
Loc: California
Rule #41 - Keep a 2X4 (or other heavy, blunt object of your choice) handy at all times. You never know when he may say or do something stupid and needs some sense knocked into him. laugh
_________________________
Castle: Every morning I bring you a cup of coffee, just so I can see a smile on your face. Because I think you are the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating, person I've ever met. And I love you Kate...
(sounds like Clark, huh?)

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#134933 - 01/19/12 07:53 AM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
VirginiaR Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner

Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 7834
Loc: USA
Quote:
Originally posted by Mouserocks:
Rule #41 - Keep a 2X4 (or other heavy, blunt object of your choice) handy at all times. You never know when he may say or do something stupid and needs some sense knocked into him. laugh
Rule #41b - Or remind him that he's Superman. wink
_________________________
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.

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#134934 - 01/19/12 08:11 AM Re: Clark Kent 101- Rules to Live By
Mouserocks Offline
Top Banana

Registered: 06/22/11
Posts: 1485
Loc: California
Quote:
Originally posted by VirginiaR:
Quote:
Originally posted by Mouserocks:
[b] Rule #41 - Keep a 2X4 (or other heavy, blunt object of your choice) handy at all times. You never know when he may say or do something stupid and needs some sense knocked into him. laugh
Rule #41b - Or remind him that he's Superman. wink [/b]
laugh laugh Too true! Of course, you could always just chuck him off a roof if he forgets it... which is actually quite a big possibility.
_________________________
Castle: Every morning I bring you a cup of coffee, just so I can see a smile on your face. Because I think you are the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating, person I've ever met. And I love you Kate...
(sounds like Clark, huh?)

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