From The Metropolis Star, in some other universe...
DAILY PLANET REPORTER KIDNAPPED BY ALIENS
Metropolis, N.T. Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent was abducted yesterday by an unknown group of extraterrestrials. The aliens, claiming to be from a planet known as "New Krypton," offered no reason for their actions.
It is not known how long the "New Kryptonians" were on Earth, but their spacecraft was observed leaving the planet at approximately 4pm yesterday afternoon.
Attempts to contact Superman, who is known to be from the planet Krypton, have so far been unsuccessful. As of press time, there were no confirmed sightings of the hero since yesterday morning.
Kent's coworkers, including his longtime partner Lois Lane, declined to comment.
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.