This might not be of any use to most of the writers on these boards, being as good at writing as they all are, but some budding writers might find this blog post useful. It's based on script writing rather than story, but it still makes a good point on how to make characters communicate what they are thinking.

A rookie writing mistake

Oh, and I should probably warn those gentler FoLCs that there is a bit of swearing at the end of the blog post, so if you don't like swearing, consider yourself warned.

I'm moving this into here, Alisha, just because, traditionally, this kind of post has gone in here and it will probably get a larger readership here than in Off Topic.

LabRat

Thanks Labby, I wasn't sure which one it better belonged in!

No worries - it would have been fine in Off Topic, too.

Thanks for posting that, Alisha. It's a variant of the oft-advised, "Don't tell us, show us," and it was fun to read.

Happy

Very good finding!

What I've found is particularly hard (at least, for me) is "showing, not telling" in the narrative. I think I can do realistic dialogue like in these examples, but my narrative always tells too much. I'd like to attribute it to my limited knowledge of English but I'm sure I'd do more of the same in Greek, lol.