I have a germ of an idea for a possible future fanfic, but in it Lois would have to suffer having her hair cut against her will.
Now I know what you all are thinking. Tank? Thinking of having Lois get her hair cut in one of his stories? Unheard of! Even so, I am contemplating it.
That's were I need some input. A little help from the gentle readers.
Now, I have no doubt that I can describe the physical action behind such a scene, but not being a woman, I need some help with the psychological aspects. I need to play up Lois' reactions to the act more than just the obvious.
I don't expect that any of you out there has ever had your hair forcebly cut against your will, but maybe some of you could still help.
If anyone has experienced a 'traumatic' haircut experience that they could relay, I'd greatly appreciate it. What I'm looking for is your emotional state both during and after the deed. What kind of thoughts were going through your mind, and what feelings did you wrestle with.
Any help with this would be much appreciated.
Tank (who thinks that if anyone has had their hair cut agains their will... even better
)
When I was about 7, I had my hair cut short for the first time. By choice, so nothing traumatic about that. But not long afterwards I went into a shop to buy sweets (or whatever it is that 7-year-old me spent my pittance of pocket money on), and the woman at the till said something along the lines of...
"What can I do for you
my boy."
I was mortified!!!
And even now - and let me stress that I am in no way mannish - whenever someone say's "can I help you, ma'am" a very small part of my brain goes 'Yes'!
Not necessarily helpful, but hey, it's an anecdote.
I've never had my hair cut by force but in college when I had my hair cut from almost to my waist the hair stylist (a man) asked me if I wanted a bullet to bit on because of the look on my face. I wanted it cut but it was such a big step that even once he started and it was to late to back out I was terrified as to what it would look like and had I made the right decision. So if you can picture the look on my face that made him asked me if I wanted a bullet to bit and maybe that will help you to picture Lois.
When I was about five my mom cut my hair SHORT and I was devastated.
However, my hair is currently down to my waist. It's taken me six years to get it this long. If someone were to cut it, especially against my will, I would be devastated. And then if the person had done it intentionally against my will, I'd feel violated as well. Its apart of me, maaaan!
And, even if the haircut was my idea, there would be tears!
-Catherine, who is SUCH a baby about her hair...
Ditto. Not against my will but as a senior in HS was cut MUCH shorter than I intended. I cried. I had the 'boy i the girls' bathroom thing in 3rd grade which scarred me for life.
Tears... lots of tears...
Carol
Thanks to those who have shared so far... more.
Maybe if someone could go visit Catherine and sneak up on her and chop her hair off while she's not looking, we can get a good reaction.
Tank (who was just offering a suggestion?)
I'm a masochist with a touch of living on the edge, so I cut my own hair sometimes when it gets too split-endy. And there have been a couple of times when I cut it too short.
I wasn't traumatised, per se, but it wasn't pleasant. Also, when I was little, I always wanted long hair, but my mom and my grandma liked me with shoulder-length hair, so that's mostly where it stayed. Although now that I think about it, that was my fault for never actually telling them I don't want a haircut. And that was what prompted me to grow out my hair as long as possible as a teenager... though, sadly, I never quite managed to grow it as long as Catherine's. <g>
I also agree that having my hair cut against my will at this point would be traumatizing.
Julie
When I was around 8 or 9 I loved having long hair and when it was 15 inches below my shoulder (it wasn't that long, I know but my mother adn her sister thought otherwise...) my mom wanted to cut it at least at my shoulders level and my aunt to try to convince me told me that if I didn't go to have it cut she would come at night and cut it so the next 2 nights I tried to be alert so they wouldn' t do it
, silly I know...
Never my hair has been cut against my will but when the hairstyilst would cut too much for my taste I use to give her an if-looks-could-kill, it was frustrating, I felt so frustarted when I felt it was cut too much...
Hope this helps,
Carolyn
I had long hair while I was growing up and always wanted to get it to my knees. I finally did and then, after nagging from sister/cousins/etc, got it cut-cut (as opposed to 'trim the nasty split ends off') for the first time when I was 20.
I planned it in advance - for weeks, actually, having made the decision to do it after my birthday. Went in, put it in a ponytail (so that I could donate it) and she snip-snipped the ponytail off.
I cried. Just stood there (it was too long for me to sit in the chair) and cried. She was really nice about it, and then trimmed what was left (still below my shoulders). I only cried that once, while she was cutting, but one thing that I do remember is afterwards, every time I brushed it/washed it/etc, I would keep going down, expecting more hair, and it would just stop. And it didn't make me upset anymore, but it was a shock every time.
Then six months later I got it cut into a 3rd season Lois haircut and people literally didn't recognize me until I talked.
That was fun. But again, I would wash it and be surprised at how little there was (which would have upset me more had it been forcibly cut) and I *hated* styling it short. Took *way* more time and effort than having it long. Which seems backwards, but it's true. I've never gone that short/layered again. (I have gone for the 1st/2nd Season Lois bob since, but never the short short layered look. And never will. ...until I get the guts up to shave my head and need it styled as it grows out.
)
Bethy
Bethy, that would be perfect.
You already have the Lois season 1-2 bob, so all you'd have to do is get it all shaved off and you could tell me how you felt during the experience.
That would work... wouldn't it?
Tank (who is just offering another suggestion)
The closest I can recall is when I had lice as a kid and had to get my hair whacked off. There was always a sense of disappointment, since I have a thing for long hair. I'd always refuse to let my hair be cut more then an inch when I was a child (and even now, come to think of it).
When it was cut, I'd feel kind of sad. Set back. Maybe robbed? but I don't know if that word is too harsh. And of course, there's always the mild sense of powerlessness since I was a kid having to do what Mom told me to. I imagine an adult would feel something related.
I drew comfort from Mom's insistence that it would grow back longer, and now that I know that strands die after a certain time anyway, I don't feel like it was such a permanent deal.
My $0.02
I also have never had my hair cut off against my will, but I do have long hair cut short about once every two years so I can donate it (cutting 12-15 inches every time). I always have my husband do the cutting. It's not as traumatic since I do it often and my hair grows quite fast, but since I just went through it a few weeks ago, the sensations are fresh.
For me, the hardest part is that no matter how long he cuts it, it always feels like he's cutting right at my scalp and I'm terrified it's going to be boyishly short - and since my hair is very thin, no one has ever found a style on me that really works, so I would look like a little boy. I would imagine this fear would be highly magnified if someone were forceably cutting my hair.
This time he cut it much shorter in the back than normal (but kept the front a bit longer so I can't really tell), but this means that I'm constantly running my fingers through the back of my hair to check that it's still there. (And my hair even cut short is still a bit closer to Lois' bob than the short hair of later seasons.)
Other things that are important for after the hair cut is that after you have a lot of hair cut off your head feels much lighter and at least for the few days until you get used to it, this means that you are super-aware of your hair all the time (or at least I am). And for the first few weeks I always use too much shampoo and conditioner when washing my hair, even when I think about it, it just doesn't look like enough until it's too much.
A few years ago I shaved my head for cancer, and even though I knew exactly what I was doing going into it, I still cried when the razor came close to my head. I did it with a friend though, so it wasn't as traumatic as it could've been, but I could imagine how awful having your heair cut forcibly would be. My spotty background in history is telling me that some group during some historical time period used to shave the heads of female traitors as punishment rather than executing them. It would be a social stigma that they would have to live with for months.
I also decided to go with a pixie type cut when I was nine, which was a huge mistake because I had a similar experience that other people mentioned where everyone thought I was a boy at first. Very traumatic for a prissy girl who had only learned to wear pants a short while ago.
I've had my hair seriously cut twice. The first time I went for this shoulder lenght style with a silly pony that was 'in' at the time. I was fourteen, with hair half way down my back. It was what I wanted, so I didn't mind it much at the time. In the shop, it even looked really good. But oooh, the next day! Boy, did I regret it a lot. I had it grow immidiately again.
The second time, I was 22 and thought it'd be neat to have a shorter style, so I didn't spent all that much time getting it ready. Well, was I ever wrong. It took me even longer, and it was too short to make a decent pony tail out of it. So yeah, I regretted that one as well, and my hair is now past my shoulders again.
For me, the hardest part was the regret afterwards. I cut it off because I wanted it, only to be miserable with the result in the long end. Kinda goes in the 'you don't know what you have until it's gone' category. I'd be devestated if my hair was cut without my approval.
Saskia
Sas - that's one thing I've always been afraid of. Whenever I get my hair cut that short [couple of times, regretted it both of them], I tell them it has to be long enough to put in a pony tail. Especially now, with 4 small kids, no pony tail isn't an option.
*shudder*
Carol
Up until I was about 9 or 10 I had hair till about mid back. However my mothewr grew tired of me never tying it back (except for school) so she made me get it cut. I didn't mind it though now I keep my hair short and the longest I've had it since then would be about shoulder length. I like keeping it short because it is so much easier to manage.
Tank said:
Bethy, that would be perfect.
You already have the Lois season 1-2 bob, so all you'd have to do is get it all shaved off and you could tell me how you felt during the experience.
That would work... wouldn't it?
Tank (who is just offering another suggestion)
LOL. I don't actually have the bob right now. That was a year and a half ago. Now it's past my shoulder blades and the goal was waist before I cut it again.
Not to mention the whole law school, old-fashioned fuddy-duddy interviewers and judges and all that jazz... I'm not sure how detrimental it would be to shave it now. I'm trying to schedule the calendar - possibly this fall will work. I'll let you know.
Bethy
Tank, there's actually a movie where this little boy wants to be a girl, and has longish hair so that he actually looks a bit like a girl. His parents forcibly cut it at one point, and he's pretty traumatized. It's called "La Vie En Rose." Of course, that's just fiction.
I've also read stories about girls with braids and somebody cuts off part (or all) of a braid, forcing them to cut the rest of their hair to match. Or Anne of Green Gables, who tries to dye her red hair black, ends up with green, and has to have *very* close-cropped hair until the green grows out. But, again, most of the stories I know are fiction, so that doesn't give you the *real* feeling.
What if you imagined something that were roughly the equivalent? Something done to yourself that is either irrevocable, or at least long-lasting, and changes the way you look or mars the way you look for a long time. Like somebody forcibly giving you a tattoo, or cutting your face and you fear that it will scar. Maybe those are slightly more permanent than a haircut (although tattoos can theoretically be removed and scars may be improved with cosmetic surgery), but it's something that would take considerable time or money to fix, and meanwhile would leave you looking different.
Meerkat said:
What if you imagined something that were roughly the equivalent? Something done to yourself that is either irrevocable, or at least long-lasting, and changes the way you look or mars the way you look for a long time.
Is it sick that the first thing that popped into my head was how a male might feel about circumcision? Of course, that's pretty irrevocable, so doesn't equate to a haircut.
If you don't have a beard (something inside me says this could be a possibility as a bass-playing mountain man from the edge of civilization, Minnesota), maybe ask Marcus how it would feel if someone shaved his beard while he was sleeping?
BJ
Boy, I have a totally different perspective. My mom cut my hair short every summer until I was a freshman in high school, so I never had long hair until then. Moreover, my hair grows so slowly that my hair could never get further than mid-back length before the old hairs died. As a result, I usually get tired of the intermediate stages and cut it again. So I can't even imagine feeling traumatized by having my hair cut.
I throw this in, Tank, so you realize that the reaction will depend on the character. As far as it being a forcible act, I think a character like Lois (who almost shrugs off escapes from death--i.e. she doesn't need therapy to deal with it) might compare it to what she had feared would happen (rape, torture) and figure she'd gotten the good end of the bargain. That doesn't mean she wouldn't be mad as hell at whoever did it and make plans to get her revenge as soon as she is free, but, frankly, Lois doesn't get traumatized by stuff that would send the rest of us into therapy for the remainder of our lives. Picture "Return of the Prankster": under that yellow light, Kyle and Victor undressed her and posed her in the middle of the newsroom, and all she did was take Clark's offered jacket and say, "Jimmy, give me back my dress," as she stormed off to plot how to have her revenge on Griffin when they captured him.
Just my 2 cents.
Like Sheila, I don't have the same emotional attachment to my hair as other posters and I agree with her about Lois. I don't think it would be a huge deal to her. If someone did it without her say-so, I think she'd be mad as hell and look out whoever was foolish enough to wield the scissors. But I don't think she'd be affected beyond that. This is someone, I feel, who would grab the scissors herself and chop her hair if it was necessary for a disguise to get that Kerth, and then worry about fixing it later, so I can't visualise her having a devastating emotional reaction to it being cut, per se.
Although I don't have the same emotional attachment to my hair as other posters, I've enjoyed the posts in this thread. All very interesting!
At the moment, I have the opposite response to most of you.
I spent all of last year with my fast-growing hair irritating the heck out of me by constantly growing halfway down my back and getting annoying. When my hair annoys me that way, I have the very bad habit of getting to the point where I just grab some scissors and hack off several inches. After about a year of that, I finally got to the point of no return where there was simply no style left. Fortunately, it only takes a phone call to my sister-in-law to sort it out. <g>
She cut it to the nape of my neck a couple of weeks ago, in a Lois bob, and I cannot tell you how good that feels. I don't like my hair very short but I love how I can just wash it at this length and it practically falls into place without even having to blow-dry it. It helps to have a great cut, too, of course.
<happy sigh>
LabRat
One of my darling daughters decided to cut her sister's hair last summer. She was seven at the time and was playing with her dolls. She had them all lined up for haircuts when her 5 yr-old sister got in the line. 5 yr-old wanted to pretend but backed out quickly when she realized the 7 yr-old was really going to do it. There was pushing, screaming and yanking. Since the girls play so loudly and dramatically, James and I didn't notice anything out of place for a long time. It wasn't until I realized that two-year old's braid was missing. (It was her second birthday and the very first time her hair had been braided.)
It took weeks for the family to get over things. Admittedly, it took the longest for me to recover than anyone else. I characterized it as a form of assault. She was held down while something was taken from her.
After the fact it was like reliving it over and over again everytime we went someplace new, since her appearance was noticably changed and everyone commented on it.
I also had a haircut once where the stylist told me that what I asked for was way out-of-date. She proceeded to cut it the way she wanted. (I blame too many cable shows for that kind of attitude.) The hardest thing then was to feel the wind on the back of my neck. It also felt so odd to go to bed at night.
Elisabeth
I was combing my hair this morning when it occured to me that I never answered the original question. When my 5-yr-old had her hair focibly cut she felt very ashamed, even if it wasn't her fault. (Possibly because she had gone along with it for awhile, but then backed out. Possibly she would have felt shamed anyway just because of her temperment.)
My 2-yr-old felt very angry. She didn't understand completely what happened, but it made her mad all the same. At random times for the next ten days or so she would cross her arms and start saying the meanest things she could think of about her sister. (To the unitiated, ten days is a HUGE attention span for a 2-yr-old.)
I grieved, but it wasn't over the loss of the hair persay. It was the fact that she had been wronged and there was no way to make it right. Their hair was cut at the beginning of last July. While my 5-yr-old only had her hair cut from waist-length to halfway down her back, the 2-yr-old would have looked much stranger if we fixed it. So, while it is straighter than it was last summer, it'll be another year before the left side matches the right.
You'd have to talk to James about how he felt. At the time it was obvious he was pretty angry, but I can't say if it was because he was the parent of the victim or because he was the parent of the offender or both.
In short, the responses varied greatly from one person to the next. I suppose it would be similar to any other assault, since a forced haircut is much the same as any other way a woman is overpowered and violated. Remember, it's not always about the hair. Sometimes it's about more than that.
Elisabeth
P.S. Bethy, my hair takes much longer to style at a short length than a moderately long length. I donate it every three years, so in that third year it takes a long time to work with. (It gets too dry and it takes longer to get the knots out.) In that last year, I've found that if I take three minutes to braid it before I go to bed it saves me fifteen to twenty minutes of messing with it in the morning.
Elisabeth,
Aww, your poor girls! My sister was bald until she was two, so people thought she was a boy until she was three. Even in her pink overalls.
You said:
P.S. Bethy, my hair takes much longer to style at a short length than a moderately long length. I donate it every three years, so in that third year it takes a long time to work with. (It gets too dry and it takes longer to get the knots out.) In that last year, I've found that if I take three minutes to braid it before I go to bed it saves me fifteen to twenty minutes of messing with it in the morning.
My thing with it long is that I don't "stlye" - I use conditioner, brush, blowdry bent over with the hair all hanging down, flip back rightside up, brush, part, go. Then again, when I decide to do a french braid and tuck the end up underneath to look professional...*that* takes forever. But for some reason, the styling involved in drying short (layered, particularly) hair takes me eons and never turns out well.
Hence the desire to avoid post-Season2-Lois haircuts. Until I grow out my shaved head (someday), of course.
Bethy
I like to thank everyone who chimed in on this little exercise. Your input is most appreciated.
I tend to agree with several others that even if Lois' hair is forcebly cut against her will, she'd be able to handle it less 'trauma' then most mere mortals. Still, she is a beautiful woman and she has to be aware of the effect such a circumstance would have on her 'image'.
It seems that most of the comments indicated that the strongest emotions were dealing with the aftermath of the haircut rather than the actual deed. The insecurity over whether or not they still 'looked good' with their new do was the over riding fear.
It's something to think about.
Thanks again.
Tank (who figures he can always just wait until Bethy decides to shave her head and go from there)
