If Clark weren't a reporter, what would he do for a living? The challenge is to come up with 100 other (preferably humorous) alternate occupations for Clark. Here are a few to get started:

1) Clark owns the "Super-Speedy Delivery Service." His motto? When it absolutely, positively has to be there in the next minute.

2) Clark decides to be a beach bum. He becomes a living metal detector and lives off the spare change he finds on the beach.

3) Clark gets a security job at an airport.

Next?

Joy,
Lynn

4) Clark could work as a CT scanner in a hospital. (Wait, that's a machine? Doesn't matter.)
5) Alternately, he could step in for the X-ray apparatus or.... whatever.
6) With his vision gizmo thingy, he could easily live of mining gold. Or gems.
7)He could be "Big Brother". (As in, "Big Brother is watching you.")
8)Kryptonian super translation service: Translations into more than 100 languages.
9) Tavel agent Kent: Has been everywhere, knows every special little out-of-the-way place in the world.
10) Superman Airline. 'Nuff said.

I'm going to state a few obvious ones before they get in the way (help me make them funny, please!)

11) He'd be a firefighter, think about those miraculous saves and surprise cold winds!

12) He's a policemam

13) He's a writer (way overused variant in fanfic)

14) He's a clown in the Metropolis version of the Ringling Brothers Circus

15) He's an illusionist (using his powers to make the "magic" happen.) Slight of hand is nothing to an alien with superspeed!

16) He's a sports star! (see Superman Inc. comic for the backstory)

17) If there's a version of Barnum's Museum, he'd be "the alien from afar!"

on 8) I guess a linguist, which works well with the "well traveled" thing he did as most linguists are also anthropologists (admittedly usually specializing in a single language but why stop at one?)

on 10) "Offering discrete private travel for the right price!

whoops, sorry this is a double-post (accidentally his reply instead of edit.)

I'm guessing we're at about 18 now...

#18 - Chef - speciallizing in gourmet lunches in five minutes or less.
#18a - Clark makes cuisine with an International style (meaning he create a wide variety of dishes from all over the world).
#18b - Clark also does catering on request

#19 - Cooking Teacher - If he can even teach Lois how to boil water (or burn bacon, whatever), he can teach anyone.

#20 - Farmer

#21 - Deep sea diver (explorer)

#22 - Pearl diver

#23 - Underwater Treasure Hunter

(I think he actually did this in some fic! Not for a living, but for extra cash.)

#23a - His business partner is Aquaman.

#24 - Teacher:
#24a - Elementary school because he's great with kids (because as a high school teacher none of his female students would pass due to )
#24b - English
#24c - Wood working
#24d - Welding (I know :rolleyes: , they do teach this is some schools!)
#24e - Coach

25 - Pipe and cable "diviner" for the construction industry.

I know, I know :rolleyes: but it's just so perfectly out there...

#26 He could probably establish a career as an 'actor', using the stage name of 'Superstud'.

Michael

Don't you mean:

#27 - Professional Wrestler with the same name.

#27a: Wrestler's name would be Studmuffin.

Also, MLT had the Superman impersonator from... umm...somewhere in S2... in #26's line of work. So, there's precedent.

Michael

28. He could earn a living as a Dean Cain impersonator.

Joy,
Lynn

29. Personal trainer - because who *wouldn't* be motivated to look like him?

30. Male model - because who *doesn't* want to look *at* him?

31. Astronaut - those space-walks would be a cinch!

32. Moving man - Grand piano need to get up five flights of stairs? No probelem.

33. Drug sniffing "dog" - the nose knows!

34. Police officer - Facing down a gang with lots of guns? That's easy.

35. Jeopardy contestant - All that random trivia he knows would allow him to compete...forever.

36. Super Solider (pick your branch of choice) - For when you absolutely, positively need to find terrorists in the next minute and a half.

37. Pizza (or any food really) delivery boy - If it doesn't come within 30 seconds, it's free.

38. Professional poker player - You can't bluff if the other guy can x-ray your cards!

39. Male muse for thus-inclined LnC fanfic authors.

Michael

PS: No, has nothing to do with waiting for next bondage session with DC's lawyers

35a. Not to mention that he will *always* be first to hit the buzzer when he knows a question.

Joy,
Lynn

p.s., I've been enjoying all of the jobs so far. And as for the male muse... I have been looking for a new muse ever since that birthday fic fiasco. If Clark applied, I'd hire him in a heartbeat.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Darth Michael:
<strong> 39. Male muse for thus-inclined LnC fanfic authors.

Michael

PS: No, has nothing to do with waiting for next bondage session with DC's lawyers

I mentioned this one earlier so I'll replace it with...

34) Librarian-all that encyclopedic knowledge would come in handy, plus think about those nerdy ladies and retirees drooling over him!

Whoops! Not sure how I missed that one! Thanks!

Since someone already mentioned the real thing...
35) Clark could work as a Superman impersonator. Can't tell him apart from the real thing, can you?

36) Mount - giving free rides to orphans and the like.

37) Scientist. I mean, come on, that guy can talk shop with Dr. Klein!
37a) Material researcher - try and copy the material your space ship (or the globe, for that matter) is made from
37b) Rocket engineer would work, too. Just copy your parents' work.

38) Street artist, doing sketches of passers-by. Super and fast.

39) Paper delivery boy - for all of New Troy. He'd be done in no time, really.

40) Some kind of circus artist - after all, he can do everything.
40a) Trapeze artist - never falls down, never lets his partner(s) fall, either.
40b) Strongest man of the world. Find anything he can't lift...
40c) Psychic. "Draw a card. Don't show it to me. Now, think of it very hard. Yes, I can see it..." Whether he'll simply use his X-ray vision or his Kryptonian telepathy for this trick is up to debate.

And the like.

41) Private Investigator. You need to find something, he's your guy. Good at getting guys to talk. Not too bad with the ladies, either.

#41a - Unless you're looking for Lois; he seems to be really good at not finding her.

I thought this had been done, but that was Clown, which you didn't mention... so this is a pointless post. :rolleyes:

Ha! You read my mind!

Just so you don't think I'm ripping off your idea, I should mention that the Supergirl crossover story I'm currently writing has included something very similar since the first draft - since she can't really deny that her face is similar to Supergirl, she wears tinted contact lenses in her secret identity but otherwise flaunts the resemblance to make it look like she has nothing to hide:

42) Driver of an ice cream truck. He'd get to interact with kids, and even if the cooler died, he could make sure his ice cream didn't melt.

43 - Batman's stunt double, for those awkward moments when a Bat-Line doesn't cut it.

44) Antique dealer. With his eyesight, he'd be able to spot a forgery a mile away. (Literally.)

45) Art appraiser. Ditto.

Joy,
Lynn

I changed my numbering, since Marcus' 42 would become 43, so my old 43 and 44 should be, as they are now, 44 and 45.

46) A gymnast known as "The Flying Kent" for his apparent defiance of the laws of gravity. (Come to think of it, Flying Kent could also be his trapeze artist name, probaly even better suited)

47) A pianist (who can play four hand pieces with only two hands)

48) A one-man band

Edited to correct the numbers.

54) A police sketch artist - he draws with perfection and has a super visual memory

55) A doctor (surgeon)

56) A pilot - if everything fails he can hold the plane

57) TV news anchor - The Superman from 2999 (Klar Ken 5477) worked broadcasting news for Ultra News.


58) A bomb squad member - if he can't disarm a bomb, he eats it. No harm done. :p

59) Lifeguard - who wouldn't want to be rescued by him?

60) Bodyguard - Lois could be a millionaire widow and hire him to protect her...

61) Santa Claus - he likes children and can distribute gifts faster than anyone.

Andreia

I think I messed up the numbers, and we're actually about 4 jobs ahead of the count. Sorry, guys.

Actually we're missing #49-#53... Here, I'll help with a few of those:

#49 - Male nurse - helps with sponge baths, great bedside manner, and able to help lifting patients (with one finger).

I don't know if someone already mentioned this one:

#50 - Works with rehabilitation of burn victims - that cooling breath would do wonders.

#51 - Garbage Incinerator

#52 - Miner. Can drill without machinery and doesn't need extra light to see in the dark.

#53 - Test Pilot - If the plane blows up on him, he'll still survive.
#53a - Test Crash Dummy

In exchange, we have #35 to #39 twice... As I said, I messed up. (And managed to count wrong, too.)

How about we just say these are the newly corrected numbers for these jobs:
So, next up should be #67!

40d) Lion tamer. If a lion tried to bite or claw him, the feline would have a tooth or paw ache. No lion with a whit of sense would try that twice.

67) Alligator wrestler. See 40d.

68) He could read the legal disclaimers for television and radio commercials.

69) NASA/ESA/Russocosmos could hire him to build the lunar colony.

If I've got the right numbers...

70) Auctioneer. Super fast bid taker.

71 - Member of the Secret Service - Who else is better suited to protecting the president?

72 - House Cleaner - *No one* can get your home cleaner, faster.

72a) This includes dust bunnies under your couch and other heavy furniture.
72b) Also includes dust on top of your highest cupboards and shelves.
72c) Not to mention truly microscopic dust particles in other places.

Can he start with my house?

Nope. I already booked him. But it shouldn't take him long, after all, he's faster than a speeding bullet.

73 - Pinball wizard, he'd never let a ball through.

74) Speedy Delivery service (a la Green-Eyed Monster)

Thanks, Christina.

75. Nuclear reactor repairman. He sits around bored all day, every day, until he's needed, but then he's there in a flash, so that you can get on with your day - radioactive free.

Ummm...This is more or less a repeat of the very first job on this list.

Joy,
Lynn

OOoooppss.. sorry about that so let's see...

74) supermarket stocker

75) Home repair handyman (hubba hubba)

It's getting hard to remember what has and has not been done. Is there any chance we can get a compiled list of all the jobs thus far?

Sorry, Christina, #75 is already taken. Can we make this #76?

How's this? I've also renumbered as appropriate. If I've made any errors, please point them out to me and I'll be happy to correct them.

This list has been growing quite rapidly.

Joy,
Lynn

1) Clark owns the "Super-Speedy Delivery Service." His motto? When it absolutely, positively has to be there in the next minute.
2) Clark decides to be a beach bum. He becomes a living metal detector and lives off the spare change he finds on the beach.
3) Clark gets a security job at an airport.
4) Clark could work as a CT scanner in a hospital. (Wait, that's a machine? Doesn't matter.)
5) Alternately, he could step in for the X-ray apparatus or.... whatever.
6) With his vision gizmo thingy, he could easily live of mining gold. Or gems.
7)He could be "Big Brother". (As in, "Big Brother is watching you.")
8)Kryptonian super translation service: Translations into more than 100 languages.
8a) I guess a linguist, which works well with the "well traveled" thing he did as most linguists are also anthropologists (admittedly usually specializing in a single language but why stop at one?)
9) Tavel agent Kent: Has been everywhere, knows every special little out-of-the-way place in the world.
10) Superman Airline. 'Nuff said.
10a) "Offering discrete private travel for the right price!
11) He'd be a firefighter, think about those miraculous saves and surprise cold winds!
12) He's a policemam
13) He's a writer (way overused variant in fanfic)
14) He's a clown in the Metropolis version of the Ringling Brothers Circus
15) He's an illusionist (using his powers to make the "magic" happen.) Slight of hand is nothing to an alien with superspeed!
16) He's a sports star! (see Superman Inc. comic for the backstory)
17) If there's a version of Barnum's Museum, he'd be "the alien from afar!"
18) Chef - speciallizing in gourmet lunches in five minutes or less.
18a) Clark makes cuisine with an International style (meaning he create a wide variety of dishes from all over the world).
18b) Clark also does catering on request
19) Cooking Teacher - If he can even teach Lois how to boil water (or burn bacon, whatever), he can teach anyone.
20) Farmer
21) Deep sea diver (explorer)
22) Pearl diver
23) Underwater Treasure Hunter
23a) His business partner is Aquaman.
24) Teacher:
24a) Elementary school because he's great with kids (because as a high school teacher none of his female students would pass due to )
24b) English
24c) Wood working
24d) Welding (I know , they do teach this is some schools!)
24e) Coach
25) Pipe and cable "diviner" for the construction industry.
26) He could probably establish a career as an 'actor', using the stage name of 'Superstud'.
27) Professional Wrestler with the same name.
27a) Wrestler's name would be Studmuffin.
28) He could earn a living as a Dean Cain impersonator.
29) Personal trainer - because who *wouldn't* be motivated to look like him?
30) Male model - because who *doesn't* want to look *at* him?
31) Astronaut - those space-walks would be a cinch!
32) Moving man - Grand piano need to get up five flights of stairs? No probelem.
33) Drug sniffing "dog" - the nose knows!
34) Librarian-all that encyclopedic knowledge would come in handy, plus think about those nerdy ladies and retirees drooling over him!
35) Jeopardy contestant - All that random trivia he knows would allow him to compete...forever.
35a) Not to mention that he will *always* be first to hit the buzzer when he knows a question.
36) Super Solider (pick your branch of choice) - For when you absolutely, positively need to find terrorists in the next minute and a half.
37) Pizza (or any food really) delivery boy - If it doesn't come within 30 seconds, it's free.
38) Professional poker player - You can't bluff if the other guy can x-ray your cards!
39) Male muse for thus-inclined LnC fanfic authors.
40) Clark could work as a Superman impersonator. Can't tell him apart from the real thing, can you?
41) Mount - giving free rides to orphans and the like.
42) Scientist. I mean, come on, that guy can talk shop with Dr. Klein!
42a) Material researcher - try and copy the material your space ship (or the globe, for that matter) is made from
42b) Rocket engineer would work, too. Just copy your parents' work.
43) Street artist, doing sketches of passers-by. Super and fast.
44) Paper delivery boy - for all of New Troy. He'd be done in no time, really.
45) Some kind of circus artist - after all, he can do everything.
45a) Trapeze artist - never falls down, never lets his partner(s) fall, either.
45b) Strongest man of the world. Find anything he can't lift...
45c) Psychic. "Draw a card. Don't show it to me. Now, think of it very hard. Yes, I can see it..." Whether he'll simply use his X-ray vision or his Kryptonian telepathy for this trick is up to debate.
45d) Lion tamer. If a lion tried to bite or claw him, the feline would have a tooth or paw ache. No lion with a whit of sense would try that twice.
46) Private Investigator. You need to find something, he's your guy. Good at getting guys to talk. Not too bad with the ladies, either.
46a) Unless you're looking for Lois; he seems to be really good at not finding her.
47) Driver of an ice cream truck. He'd get to interact with kids, and even if the cooler died, he could make sure his ice cream didn't melt.
48) Batman's stunt double, for those awkward moments when a Bat-Line doesn't cut it.
49) Antique dealer. With his eyesight, he'd be able to spot a forgery a mile away. (Literally.)
50) Art appraiser. Ditto.
51) A gymnast known as "The Flying Kent" for his apparent defiance of the laws of gravity. (Come to think of it, Flying Kent could also be his trapeze artist name, probaly even better suited)
52) A pianist (who can play four hand pieces with only two hands)
53) A one-man band
54) A police sketch artist - he draws with perfection and has a super visual memory
55) A doctor (surgeon)
56) A pilot - if everything fails he can hold the plane
57) TV news anchor - The Superman from 2999 (Klar Ken 5477) worked broadcasting news for Ultra News.
58) A bomb squad member - if he can't disarm a bomb, he eats it. No harm done.
59) Lifeguard - who wouldn't want to be rescued by him?
60) Bodyguard - Lois could be a millionaire widow and hire him to protect her...
61) Santa Claus - he likes children and can distribute gifts faster than anyone.
62) Male nurse - helps with sponge baths, great bedside manner, and able to help lifting patients (with one finger).
63) Works with rehabilitation of burn victims - that cooling breath would do wonders.
64) Garbage Incinerator
65) Miner. Can drill without machinery and doesn't need extra light to see in the dark.
66) Test Pilot - If the plane blows up on him, he'll still survive.
66a) Test Crash Dummy
67) Alligator wrestler. See 40d.
68) He could read the legal disclaimers for television and radio commercials.
69) NASA/ESA/Russocosmos could hire him to build the lunar colony.
70) Auctioneer. Super fast bid taker.
71 - Member of the Secret Service - Who else is better suited to protecting the president?
72 - House Cleaner - *No one* can get your home cleaner, faster.
72a) This includes dust bunnies under your couch and other heavy furniture.
72b) Also includes dust on top of your highest cupboards and shelves.
72c) Not to mention truly microscopic dust particles in other places.
73) Pinball wizard, he'd never let a ball through.
74) Nuclear reactor repairman. He sits around bored all day, every day, until he's needed, but then he's there in a flash, so that you can get on with your day - radioactive free.
75) supermarket stocker
76) Home repair handyman (hubba hubba)

77 - Satellite launcher - but this might be a little bit of a give-away re. his secret identity, of course.

OOh, can I join?
(78) Well, duh, it's obvious - he should start a fast food service - not only can he get anything from anywhere in the world, and make sure it's hot (or cold) enough, but he knows all the best little out-of-the-way places! (and if he delivers with his TM smile, he would make great tips)

Lonnie, who thinks this is a great way to break the newbie ice

Welcome to the boards, Lonnie!

Hi Lonnie! Welcome to the boards!

79 - Eating contest superstar; he can always eat just a little more than the other contestants. But he occasionally wishes they'd throw in something a little spicy, a nice bomb or a few grams of cyanide, to make things just a little more challenging.

Sorry, duplicate post - mods please delete!

#80 - Food/Restaurant Critic - He enjoys food from all over the world, plus he can eat as much as he wants without worrying about gaining any weight.

That sounds like a good career. Sign me up!

80a) Wine taster. His nose would be well able to detect subtleties in the wine's nose, and he could taste as many wines as necessary without having to spit them out in order to remain sober.

#81 - Proof-reader. Those writing skills coupled with his super-speed reading would make it a cinch!

On a related note, that nose could be used to...

82. Professional scent tester for perfume companies.

#83 - Construction worker - He's strong, pays attention to deal, and could build you an entire functional house in about an hour.

83a) Remodeling done early and under bid.

#84 - Travel Guide - He can take you anywhere in the world, he'll be able to converse with the locals, and he knows random trivia about everywhere.

#85. Rapper. Without the imminent need for oxygen, he can easily defeat the fastest of the world's records (and subsequently meet his doppleganger on Ripley's Believe it or Not).
Super fast rapping
(Skip to 1:06 for Busta Rhymes and some super fast rapping)

86. Chippendale. I defy someone to agrue with that.

I saw a billboard on my drive home from school advertising that there were going to be Chippendales at some Casino around here. That's why it was in my head. Just thought I'd let the folcs know that my mind's not constantly in the gutter. :p

87: Bug Exterminator - He'd be able to spot every termite infestation.

(79) The next Evel Knievel. He can just lift the motorcycle over the Grand Canyon.
(80) Pest control. He always knows exactly where those pesky squirrels have hidden their nest in your attic. Of course, being Clark, he'd probably insist on catching them alive and releasing them in the woods somewhere.

HappyGirl, your post reminds me of this comic book cover:



Joy,
Lynn

Ooops, Happy. I think we already had a 79 and 80, so how about 88 and 89?

Per John's suggestion:

90 - Psychotherapist, because he's such a great listener.

91 - Social Worker - because no one cares like he does (also helps that he's a human lie detector)

Although, it's not technically a paying gig...

92 - Dad - Because he's so loving and great with kids.
92b - Foster Dad

93. Spy. There are all sorts of ways he could use his special skills. Although I have to admit a lot of those are along the lines of what he does as an investigative reporter.
93a. counter-intelligence agent. At some level I merge the history of Get Smart and L&C, don't ask me exactly why, Clark Kent is much smarter than Maxwell Smart, I guess mainly because we have a-our main characters go undercover as a honeymooning couple and b-our main characters get married to each other.
94. Professor
94a. Journalism/English
94b. History, he knows enough and is a good writer, which they want from professors.
94c. Georgraphy
94d. Anthropology/linguistics
94e. Physics. If he can keep up with Dr. Platte I am sure he could make it as a Physics professor.

94.f) Xenobiologist. (Who's going to argue?)
94.g) Professor with multiple doctor degrees in various fields. Genius like Dr. Klein - but less weird.

95. Lawyer. Especially good as a Perry Mason type, save falsely accused defendants by catching the real bad guys. He would not need to higher any private investiagators to help, or law clerks, or anyone. The one draw-back would be that he could work so fast he would not have many billable hours. Hmm, maybe he should be a government prosecutor, they get fixed salary not billable hours.

Do we have any real evidence he's good at woodwork?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Chippendale

I think she was talking about Clark being one of the Chippendales - who're definitely not woodworkers...

96. car jack. Clark lifts up cars so people can work under them.

97. Window wiper. He would not need any support to do skyscrapers, and would never worry about falling.

Maybe he's already doing it

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/916125-daredevil-window-cleaner-has-a-head-for-heights

Yeah, well, I was a little slow that day. Other people have bad hair days, I have slow brain days...

Oh, you guys. I'm so glad I came back to check out the boards after a really long day. This is the best laugh I've had all week. Thank you. (And yes, Marcus, you're thinking of a different kind of Chippendale...) :p

98) Comedian! "I just flew in from Chicago and, boy, are my arms tired."

Hurricane Sandy made me think of these:

99) Meteorologist. He could fly wherever he wanted to observe the conditions first-hand, rather than having to rely on mechanical sensors.

In a similar vein:

100) Storm chaser/photographer. He could get the really dramatic pictures without worrying about being in danger.

Thanks to all who participated in this challenge. I am impressed by the variety and the creativity of the answers. Impressed but, given how creative this group is, not surprised. By all means feel free to continue past the 100-mark if you come up with other good ideas.

Joy,
Lynn