Journalism 101: Things *NOT* to ask the professor - 08/29/04 02:21 AM
Alright, this loosely fits into the fanfic category. Then why am I putting it here? Well...this is where you come in. Is there a question we forgot? Add it! Come on...It'll be fun!
This is how it started and it has only grown from there:
So I’m sitting here in Journalism class and I’m trying to pay attention, and I am, but I have to cover my mouth with my hand to hide my huge grin. And I also have to keep my hand there so I don’t say anything stupid. So, after class, I came up with this list. I shared it that night with Paul on IRC and asked him to come up with some as well, him being one of my favorite comedians. All I have to say…I’m *so* glad Paul is not in class with me! Then, after that, I was trying to figure out just where the heck I should post this thing. I asked Sas tonight in IRC...and after she came up with a few questions of her own , we decided this should be a challenge. So here you have it…
Journalism 101: Things *NOT* to ask the professor
Sara K:
Paul aka HatMan:
Saskia:
_____
* Some one actually *did* ask this in class, and no, it wasn’t me <g>. The professor said she’d seen it once in her 7 years of reporting. It was during the whole “hanging-chad-who-the-heck-is-really-the-president election.” And it turns out it’s not so funny, it costs tens of thousands of dollars everytime they press that big red button. And *yes* there really is a big red button!
This is how it started and it has only grown from there:
So I’m sitting here in Journalism class and I’m trying to pay attention, and I am, but I have to cover my mouth with my hand to hide my huge grin. And I also have to keep my hand there so I don’t say anything stupid. So, after class, I came up with this list. I shared it that night with Paul on IRC and asked him to come up with some as well, him being one of my favorite comedians. All I have to say…I’m *so* glad Paul is not in class with me! Then, after that, I was trying to figure out just where the heck I should post this thing. I asked Sas tonight in IRC...and after she came up with a few questions of her own , we decided this should be a challenge. So here you have it…
Journalism 101: Things *NOT* to ask the professor
Sara K:
- Can I cover a dog show? Why? I just want to see if it's really all that bad. Uh...Where did I get that idea? Never mind.
- So, hypothetically speaking, if a criminal mastermind masquerading as a wealthy philanthropist was running a crime syndicate and you needed proof to bring him down, how would you go about doing that?
- Do you ever go on stakeouts? If yes, what usually happens?
- Can I call you Chief?...Please?
- Have you ever won a Kerth? Huh? Oh...I mean a Pulitzer? Kerth? Never mind what I said about that.
- Does anyone ever say stop the presses?*
- If you had a male partner that you were attracted to, would you tell him? Or would you be afraid he'd take advantage and try to steal your senior investigative reporter position?
- What brand of lock-picking equipment do you find most helpful?
- So...can you partner me up with that cute guy over there? Why not? I already have a slogan picked out..."The Hottest Team In Town.” What do you mean, ‘no’? Fine. But I’m not happy about it.
Paul aka HatMan:
- So, if I get kidnapped, and tied to a chair with a bomb under me... that's a good thing, right? Means I’m on the right track?
- If this is the press room, where's the apple cider?
- Where's the best place to keep your notes so that the bad guys won't find them, and won't destroy valuable property looking?
- Which is better? Getting a page one story, or two page twos?
- What's the best way to deal with a rival journalist? Mace, blackjack, or a false lead?
- What do you do if you're in the middle of a break-in and find out that the owner doesn't have dogs, as you were prepared for, but lions instead?
- When do we get the lock-picking lessons?
- Can I really use the staff photographer as my own personal gopher?
- What's the best strategy to defend my break room cruller?
- If a source asks to be paid with food instead of money, is that really weird?
- Is it true that the more unreliable a source looks, the more likely he is to have vital information?
- If I can only fit one more class into my schedule, which should it be? Grammar and writing, lock picking, escape artistry, or acting and disguises?
- Is the Watergate Hotel really the best place to meet a source? After all, no one would think to look there, would they?
- If I’m in a parking garage, on foot, and someone tries to run me down with a car, is there any particular reason I should run up the lane instead of between the parked cars?
- How many tape recorders should I carry around with me? If they search me and find one, will they stop there? Or should I assume they'll find my back-up, too, and have a third?
- If I’m hanging upside-down, being lowered to my certain doom in the big press machine, what's the best way to hit the big red button to stop the presses? My shoe or my tape recorder?
- As an intern, I’ll start on the obituaries, right? So, should I start practicing with friends, coworkers, or enemies?
- Where *do* you hide the bodies?
- What's the best way to make friends with the gruff old police sergeant?
- What are some good alternatives to "you'll never get away with this!"?
- What's the best way to skip the "mood piece" and "human interest story" stages?
- If you're looking at a whole row of abandoned dockside warehouses, how do you pick?
- How can I make sure that bomb debris will stick to my hair in the most exciting and attractive way?
- If we're part of the 4th estate, who lives next door?
- If there's a screaming crowd running away from something, what's the quickest and best way to get past them to the story?
- Once you develop the instinct to do that, how do you manage to cover marathons?
Saskia:
- When do you start believing weird dressed guys talking about time traveling and parallel universes?
- Is it okay to fall in love with the biggest flying story in history?
- What's the fastest way to dump your partner?
_____
* Some one actually *did* ask this in class, and no, it wasn’t me <g>. The professor said she’d seen it once in her 7 years of reporting. It was during the whole “hanging-chad-who-the-heck-is-really-the-president election.” And it turns out it’s not so funny, it costs tens of thousands of dollars everytime they press that big red button. And *yes* there really is a big red button!