Talking of resurrecting old challenges....

I remember how much fun we all had some years ago now with a challenge to condense our fanfic into as few words as possible.

The results back then were archived at Annesplace and were even given their own category in the first Alt Kerths. You can find some examples, plus the full history of the challenge here

It just occured to me, reading over Jana's new challenge thread, that with so many new authors since and so many new stories too it might be fun to visit this one again.

So, basically:

Take one of your own stories already finished and posted (IOW no WIPs or another author's story) and squeeze the plot into as few words as you can manage. As any responses to this challenge will be very short by their nature just post them here in this thread. Comments can go in here too, rather than starting new threads.

SPOILER WARNING!

As many of these RDs will undoubtedly contain spoilers for the plot of the actual story, do take note of that before you read further in this thread, if you don't want to have your enjoyment of a story you haven't yet caught up with spoiled. I'll post after this so that there's ample space to stop accidental spoilage.

Think that's it. If I've missed anything out or you're still confused - just hollar!

LabRat (and no, I ain't touching Masques with a bargepole... )

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Let's try...

THE PARENT TRAP

Long Version here

Spanish version here


Ellie and Lara had swapped their places at the camp. When the first one met her father at the airport, she said, "Hello, I'm Ellen Lane, you other daughter."

In Metropolis airport, Lara saw Lois Lane and told her "I'm Lara Kent. Ellie's twin."

Some days later,

"Hello, Lois," Clark said.

"It's good to see you, Clark," she replied.

"Will you marry me?" Clark asked.

"Yes."

The End

This sounds like fun! I'll start by trying it with my shortest story at the archive. <g>

Being Unique
Long version

CLARK: Once upon a time, I was born, Lois. My life was boring. Nothing special about it 'til you came along.

LOIS: Zzzz (she's asleep)

the end

Interesting. Hmm, now I have to read my story to see what happened LOL.

The South Side Chronicles: Witness

The Full-Length Story

Lois: Hey, Clark, what if the Cost-Marts really aren't involved as much as we think they are? What if something else is going on?
*~*~*~*~*
Lois: So, who would have the most to gain by bombing the Mayors' conference?
Lois: Do you really think it's a coincidence that the bomb went off *during* the South Side discussion?
*~*~*~*~*
Lois: I want you to find everything you can on...on...Sara Carter. Where she works, who she lives with. I want to know what she eats for breakfast.
Jimmy: First of all, there is no Sara Carter.
Lois: I knew it!
Clark: You did not.
*~*~*~*~*
Asabi: I trust you have seen this morning's paper?
Luthor: Yes. That doesn't bother me, though.
Luthor: *No one* stands in my way."

To heck with writing full-length stories!
Jen

Great RDs so far, guys - keep them coming!

Jana - ROTFL!! That one certainly qualifies!

And...oh, what the heck <g>:

Masques
The Readers Digest Version

Clark: Who are you?

Eve: I'm a clone. Lex sent me.

Clark: Luthor, you fiend. Okay, I have to go find Lois. Pack your bags, we're off to Hawaii.

Lex: Now you're all mine! Mine, you hear! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhaaaaaaaa! (much in the manner of Sideshow Bob)

Lois: Sod off, you total git. I'm outta here.

Clark: I found you!

Lois: You found me!

Lois and Clark: <smooch smooch>

Clark: Who knows I'm Superman?!?

Alex: Half of Metropolis. Why, is that a problem?

Daily Planet Headline:

Frozen popsicle in shape of Lex Luthor found dangling from cliff.

Lois and Clark: I do! <smooch>

Alex and Eve: I do! <smooch smooch>

The End.

LabRat

ROTFL!!!

Tricia

Okay, I thought I'd try this with Love Remains too. Real Version

Jimmy: I'm sorry about Clark.

Lois: I don't believe Clark is dead. thinking I never told him that I love him.

Perry: Honey, you'll have to face it sooner or later.
---

Lois: I don't believe that Clark is dead. Am I crazy?

Wolf: You should never let go of the bond you have with your partner.
---

Lois: Clark, you're alive! They hug.

Clark: Superman saved me. I didn't die.

Lois: I knew it! Thinking I'm still not ready to tell you I love you though.

the end

Oooh, I remember these!

Here's A Certain Point of View :

Alt-Lana: You know, everyone always thinks that *I'm* the nasty villainess of Tempus, Anyone? But if you take a moment to look at the events of the ep from a different point of view, you'll realize that it was all HER fault. So there. And her dress sense was awful, too.

Oooh, I've been thinking about this one recently... they're just too much fun <g>

Reader's Digest Version -- H is for Hubris :

HG: Oh dear, I see I'm needed to fix the universe again!

Clark: Let's go get dinner, Lois.
Lois: I feel so drawn to you...

(they sleep together)

Lois: What the hell was I thinking? Get out Clark, and I never want to see you again!

<knock, knock>

HG: Let me erase your memories!

Lois & Clark: No, thanks. Now bugger off!

HG: Hmpf! No more deux in this machina for you!

Lois: Whatever, you mental case. Hey, Clark, let's be friends!

***

PJ

This is too much fun

Here's Hearts Divided :

Lt. Lane: I'm in the army and I'm going undercover at the Metro Club!

Kal-El (seeing Lois sing): Hubba, hubba!
Ching: Hey! You're supposed to be engaged to Zara.

Shifty-eyed flunky: Hmm, let's suck up to Kal by taking her with us.

Lois: Take us back to Earth *now*, you sexist creep.

Kal: Well, I would, but I have to rescue Zara from the evil Lord Nor so I can pull one over on the council and she'll marry Ching and rule New Krypton with him and I can come back to Earth to be with you. Oh, and did I mention I have Superman's powers?

Lois: Cool. <smooch>

****



PJ

Hey, I want to join the party, too!!

---

A SURPRISE FOR LOIS
--> long version in English
--> long version in Spanish

Clark to Perry and then to Jimmy: (on the phone) We have to get ready, hurry up.

Lois to Clark: What's up?
Clark to Lois: Nothing.

Clark: (later) Surprise, Lois! You're pregnant!

---

Preety short, huh?

AnnaBtG. (who's enjoying this challenge a lot)

It almost makes you wonder why we bother writing out the longer versions!

These are hilarious, though, so keep 'em coming! I particularly admire Labby's ability to distill Masques down into a few lines.

PJ

These are so fun! I can't resist adding my own.

Anybody's Baby Long Version

Lucy: Lois, I was knocked up by a guy paid to sell his children to an evil scientist. Now I'm going to flit off to New York for a couple of months.
Lois: Wait! No! I can't take care of a baby....CLARK!
Clark: Oh, just what I've always wanted! A ready-made family! Let's live happily ever after!
Lois: Good idea!

******

Lucy: Changed my mind - I want the baby back.
Lois: No! He's ours!
Lucy: mine!
Lois: mine!
Lucy: mine!

Lucy goes back to New York and quickly discovers this is not as much fun as she'd imagine.

Lucy (to Lois): Yours!

And they all lived happily ever after.

Annie, yours was so great!!! I read the 'mine, mine, mine' and all I could think of was the seagulls from Finding Nemo!!

Here's my Readers Digest fic for "Medical Miracles" (finished, not yet uploaded on the archive)

Wells: You can have children because I am awesome.

The End.

HAR! I just had to waste a point and laugh at Annie's. That was so funny!
mine!
mine!
mine!


Thanks for sharing, everyone.
Jen

LOL Great, Alicia!!!

LOL, Alicia!

There's really nothing more to say.

AnnaBtG.

Let's resurrect this thread!!

WHAT A FISH KNOWS

Kay the Goldfish: Lois and Clark have four children, and they're a weird family.

AnnaBtG.

This is great! Let me give it a shot:

Phero-Moan My Lovely

Lois: Ow, my head! What happened?

Clark: We got married and had a kid.


The Big Debut

Happy 16th birthday, Kent twins! Now you get to be superheroes!

--------------------------------

Of course, it's easy when your stuff is so short to begin with

For my short story, "College Tempus":

*****

Tempus: I have a new evil plan to destroy Utopia. I'll kill Lois Lane in the past before Kent ever knew her. Bwahaaa haaa.

Lois: I'm feeling really sick.

Tempus: Hey, she's not dying yet. I need to... WHOA!!!! Who's that hot lady? Elena! {Smooch}

Tempus (thinking): Lois Lane? Who's she?

Lois: I feel a lot better.

Okay, it's nearly midnight and I'm feeling punch-drunk, so here goes...

(btw, I really can't remember these stories very well, so apologies for any inaccuracies <g>)

FoDI:
Clark: Help! Everyone thinks I'm Superman, Lois!
Lois: Oh, no, what shall we do?
altClark: Fear not. I am here to help you.
L&C: Gosh, thanks, altClark.
Clark: Yay, no-one thinks I'm Superman any longer!
altClark, disappearing back to his own dimension: Goodbyeeeeeeeee....

****

FoDII:
altClark: Gosh, I'm so lonely.
Clark: There, there. Cheer up, there's a good superhero!
altClark: But I'm so lonely!
Clark: There, there. Cheer up, there's a good superhero!
altClark: But I'm so, so lonely! <sob>
Clark: There, there. Everything will turn out okay in the end, you'll see.
altClark: But I'm so lone- Hang on, who's that?

Cue "Lady Sings The Blues" as performed by a Lois-Lane lookalike.

****

FoDIII:
Wanda: Don't mess with me, kiddo. I'm as hard as nails and I talk out the side of my mouth just like a gangster's moll.
altClark: But...but...
Luthor: Hands off, buster.
altClark: But...but...
Wanda: Save me from Luthor, Clark!
altClark: But...but...you're...
Wanda: I'm so miserable.
altClark: Lois!
altLois: I'm so miserable
Luthor: Take that, you miserable alien, you!
altClark: Ow, that hurt!
Klein on his motorbike, smashing through a door: Woo-hoo!
altLois: I'm so miserable
altClark: I'm sick
altLois: I'm still miserable
altClark: I'm getting better
altLois: But I'm still miserable
altClark: I'm better, but miserable because Lois is miserable
altLois and altClark: We're miserable
Luthor, being strangled by altClark: Ow, that hurt!
altClark: Take that, you miserable criminal, you!
altLois: I'm less miserable now that Luthor is heading for prison
altClark: I'm actually vaguely happy now that Lois isn't so miserable
altLois: I'm worried, because Clark is flying us to Smallville
altClark: I'm running away from my responsibilities

The End


I think that's enough for now!

Yvonne

OK, I have to give this a go:

RD version of Butterfly Legacy (Long Version) ...

Clark: I'm so depressed that Lois married Lex Luthor. Think I'll learn a trade.

Gillian: Hey, Superman Sam. Why don't you ditch the spandex and go native for a bit? Have a few shots of chicha and hang around Colombia playing Peace Corps volunteer with me.

Clark: What, Lois is a widow? See ya later, Gillian. I love ya but, after all, Lois is my soul mate. We'll always have San Pablo...

The end

Lynn

A Closet Encounter ( Long version )

"Hey - we're locked in a closet!"

*smooch* *smooch* *smooch*

The End.


Mere

These are great! More!

LabRat

Catch of a Lifetime

Clark: "Let's go fishing!"
Lois: (rolls her eyes) "I hate fishing."
Clark: "How about we get married instead?"
Lois: "Okay!"

* * * * * ...and the more serious... * * * * *

Love Thy Neighbor

Adam: "Gee, it sure is swell living next door to those nice people, the Kents."
Elliot: "I'm evil and underhanded. AND I have Kryptonite."
Lois: "I'm pregnant."
Clark: "Hooray!"
Elliot: "Let's expose Clark to Kryptonite to see if he's really Superman!"
Lois: "I heard that. I'm gonna tell Clark--whoops! Ow." (falls)
Clark: "Lois, we lost the baby."
Lois: . . .
Clark: "Lois, talk to me!"
Lois: "I'm so sad. I wasn't ready to be a mom, but I'm still sad."
Elliot: (with Kryptonite) "Enough of this sentimentality!"
Lois: (fights him)
Clark: "Thanks, Lois! Let's kiss!"

Ooh, thanks for resurrecting this one, these are great

Tryst (long version)
Lois: I knew I shouldn't have come to Africa. Now I'm dying. Bummer.
Clark: Yay, got hired at the Planet! Hang on, am I hearing voices?
Lois: You can hear me! And what's with the flying?
<ghostly smooch>
Lois: Oh, no, I'm fading...
Clark: Hmm, maybe I should go over to Africa...
Lois: Look, I'm alive! Let's go home and create Superman and live happily ever after.
<smooch>
The End

Getting carried away here...

Just Like That...? (long version)
Lois: Hey, I'm blond! A clone body? Asabi did a soul transfer? Clark, help me!
Clark: Who the heck are you?
Lois: I'm Lois!
Clark: Are not.
Lois: Am too.
Clark: Are not.
Lois: Am too.
Clark: Lemme sleep on it...
**
Lex: Now, I've got you!
Lois: Go to hell!
Lex: You first. <bang>
Lois: Thanks, Superman!
Lex: You can't arrest me! Ahh, a bus!! <thud>
Clark: C'mon Lois, let's go home.
The End -- but wait, there's a sequel!

Being Lois Lane (long version)
Lois: Clark, I know I'm in a clone body, but...
Clark: You're really Lois. Let's get married!
**
Martha: Who's that blond chick with my son?
Clark: It's Lois!
Martha: Oh. Well, good.
**
Ellen (drunk): Who's that blond chick with that lying cheating louse Clark?
Lois: We'll come back later.
**
Perry: Clark, who's the blond chick?
Clark: It's Lois!
Perry: And I'm Elvis.
Lois: No, really!
Perry: Okay.
The End

PJ

More?

RD version of Rage (Long version)

Bad Guy: Get back or I'll hurt Lois!
Lois: Don't hurt me and my unborn baby!
Clark: Don't hurt Lois!!
Clark <Ugh! I'm gonna kill him for hurting Lois!>
Lois: Clark, what's wrong? Why are you pushing me away?
Clark <I have to stay away from Lois because she's giving me panic attacks>
Adam: I don't blame you for wanting to kill that bad guy.
Clark: I shouldn't have done that, but I guess I can understand why I did it. We all have a dark side.
Lois: Oh, Clark, I'm so glad you're back.
Lois and Clark <smooch...more than smooch...smooch>
Clark: Geez, I feel a whole lot better.

The End

RD Version of Save Me, Superman (Long version)

Lois: I can't believe Clark is dead. I'm so depressed. Wait, he can't be dead because there was no blood on his shirt. He must be Superman.
Clark: What's this, a letter from Lois? But she thinks I'm dead. Oh, she loves me!
Lois: I love you, you lunkhead!

The End

This is depressing me - all of that work to write these stories and I could have managed the same message in a few lines? Oy!

Lynn

Okay, back for another.

Kidnapped:

altClark: Give me back my son!
Clark: But we raised him as our own!
altClark: Give. Me. Back. My. Son.
Clark: But he knows us. We love him. He loves us.
altClark: Please, I beg you. Give me back my son.
Lois: But he has a Mommy and a Daddy here. He's happy here.
altClark: Really? Oh, okay. Bye, Jon! Have a nice life.

The End.

I'm enjoying everyone else's, so...

All Stirred Up ( Long version )

Lois: "Is it a fireball? Is it a meteorite? No, it's Superman! Let's break into Clark's place."
Supes: "Yikes! What's with the spandex - am I in a circus?"
Lois: "No, actually you're an alien with superpowers."
Supes: "Naaaaah."
Lois: "No, really! Watch -" (Tries to stab Supes with kitchen knife)
Supes: "Uhhhh - oh. Why'm I such a dork, though?"
*****
Lois: "I've worked it out! You're Clark's boyfriend!"
Supes: "Naaaaah." (Kisses Lois) "Hey, look - I can fly!"
Lois: "Yay!"
Martha and Jonathan: "We're here, panic over! Bye, Lois! Sit down, son..."
*****
Lois: "Omigod! Clark is Superman!" (Kicks teddy)
*****
Clark: "Lois, I'm Superman."
Lois: "Okay, then."
Fade to black
*****

Mere

Lost Without You ( long version )

Clark: "I don't want to talk to you, Mrs. Luthor."
Lois: "What?"
Clark: "I'm going, need my lucky pen."
Lois: "What? But I love you!" (cries)
Superman: "What a mess! All my fault!"
Lois: "You came back... but you..."
Clark (spinning): "Yes, it's really me."
Lois: "Oh, I love you and forgive you everything!"
Clark: *smooch* "Love you too." *smooch* "Forgiven." *smooch*

[Yay, my connection is finally back for the evening... ]

Okay, Epiphany :

Lois: Hmmmmmmmm. Clark looked darn cute at the festival tonight, think I'll fall in love with him.

Clark: Why is Lois looking at me that way? Does she want to kiss me?

Clark and Lois: <smooch> <smooch>

Lois and Clark: <smooch> <smooch>

(As I recall there was a lot of smooching in this one)

Lois: Eeek!

Clark: Yikes!

Martha: Clark, quit pretending you're asleep, I think everyone could hear you canoodling from town to Kansas City.

Clark: Sure, Mom. Well, that was embarrassing. Okay, where were we?

Clark and Lois: <smooch> <smooch>

Lois: Woah! Clark! You're a...very patient man?!?!?

Clark: Yes. And also Supe---

(Fade to black)

It sounds like fun. I´ll try it with my micro-little-tiny vignette "Happy Anniversary, Honey" posted now in Fanfic.

****

He called her and said he would be late once again but, he had a special reason for that. He bought roses for her. He woke her up and said:

"Happy anniversary, honey"

"Oh, Perry... you shouldn´t have".

Another MLT one posted in Fanfic. "Dying is something I Do Not Intend To Do"

***

Lois got a letter.
Lois read the letter.
Lois fainted.

"My eternal love,

I shall come back to kill you.

With all my love and certainty,

L.L"

MDL= or ?

Swear to God, this time we're eloping:

Lois: "Come on, let's forget this stuff in Metropolis and go to Vegas."

Clark: "Okay."

Medical Miracles 2:

Dr. Klein: "Blah blah blah. You're able to have children."

Amygdala:

Clark: "Oh no, Lois has fallen and she can't get up. Oh no, I can't move either. But it will all be okay in the end."

Basketball:

Lois: "Owwwww! My ankle. Wait, forget about my ankle! You're Superman."

"Snow" series:

I love you.

I'm Superman.

Let's get married.

- Laura

Through the Window:

Lois: Hey, what's that? A window?
Tempus: Come and see, darlin'
Lois: Damn. This isn't good.
AltClark: Woohoo! This is so good!
AltLois: Watch where you're going, buddy.
AltClark: <<Woohoo! Even better! And, oh, wait, kind of bad.>>
Wells: Am I late? What did I miss?
Lois: See ya.
Clark: You were where? Married to...who??

These are all tremendous fun, but I had to comment on this one:



PJ

Since RL is threatening to overtake my author's life, I thought I'd sneak in and play along with you guys. Btw, all of these are great!

Boy, does this seem scary how little of words needed to sum up one's story. Maybe I can do this with my "Getting to Know Them" story until I find some time to finish it? (thought I'd try)

Getting to Know Me

Long Version Here

Short version:

Lucy: Fill out this questionnaire.
Lois: This is stupid but okay.
While writing answers, Lois states: Oh wow, I love Clark.
Lois emails it home, but oops, emails it to Clark too.

Let's see if I can do one here...

Our Lady of Ni

Lois: Gimme your habit, you old nun!
Clark: I'm waiting for some files at midnight! Everyone's doing it!
Lois: Dr. Kent, join me in some vespers, please.
Police: Why is there a nun tied up?
Perry: You can darn well rot in that jail cell tonight.

Death of Luthor:

Lex: Marry me, or I'll kill superman!

Lois: Oh no! Okay, I'll marry you.

Jimmy: Lois, Superman's dead!

Lois: Die, you scum!

Lex: Oh no, I'm falling!

Lex: Oh no, I'm drowning!

Lex: Oh no, I'm being eaten!

Lex: Oh no, I'm on fire!

Lex: Oh no, I'm being squished!

Elves: Yay, Lex is dead! Let's dance!

Lois: What a wierd dream! Clark, no more bad italian food; okay?

Eh, why not?

Rude Awakening:

Clark: Oh no, my son is attacking that girl!

CJ: No, Dad! It was just a play!

Clark: That does it, I'm retiring.

--------------------------

Waking a Giant

CJ: Since Dad retired, this crime wave has been driving me crazy!

Dina: So become a superhero!

Nightwing: Yay, I'm a superhero!

Clark: Knock it off, CJ!

CJ: Okay, but only if you come out of retirement.

Clark: Ok

Superman: Boy, it's a good thing I'm out of retirement!

Tornado: Need a hand?

Superman: What th---? I thought I told you to cut that out! You're grounded!

Tornado: Can I still be a superhero?

Superman: Well, ok.

Tornado: Yay, I'm a superhero!