FDK: The Welcome Wagon - Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards

What a terrific story. I really enjoyed the humor and the touches that made the story Lois and Clark. You did a great job with the characterizations.

Perhaps Mr. Drayton will make another appearance?

THUG #6

FDK'r #2

(I mean, 'Toc)

Freakin' hilarious!

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Five, who was definitely a few wontons short of a PuPu Platter, just stared at me as if I’d just made the Eiffel Tower disappear.

I love that it's from the POV of a thug. (Excuse me, a Temporarily Hired Underworld Goon.)

This was so great! That whole Thug #6 thing actually reminded me of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead! which is one of my all-time favorite plays. You've put a bit of a different spin on it, but the basic premise is seeing what happens when you take secondary characters and make them protagonists.

This was very funny to read, and I have to agree that a sequel might be in order here. Great story!

That was really so funny! It was indeed like an episode from the old Batman and Robin TV show, if you saw it from one of the thugs' perspective. Except Joe Drayton wasn't much like a thug to me.

Come to think of it, this fic was quite a bit like some of the old, very G-rated but also very sweetly absurdly Chaplinesque Silver Age Superman comic books! This has already been quoted, but I have to quote it all over again:

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I could see right away that he was feeding the card in the wrong direction.

“Give me that,” I said as I snatched the card from him. I flipped it over, swiped it, and the door buzzed open. Four immediately went inside. Five, who was definitely a few wontons short of a PuPu Platter, just stared at me as if I'd just made the Eiffel Tower disappear.

“It's a gift,” I said finally. “Now get in.”

I would have laughed so madly that I would have spluttered my milk if I had read this when I was a kid!

So funny! Welcome to the boards, Mr AlonzoMosleyFBI!

Ann

Oh, great fun!

Nicely written - fast paced rhythm, a tap dance of a story.

c.

Loved this.

Your husband needs to get his own login, though

It is the next step in the addiction process...

I agree. It was funny, well-paced, and worthy of a Kerth nomination come January (or whenever). And I hadn't considered Carol's viewpoint that it was a "tap dance" of a story, but it is. It's light without being silly, revealing, and the characterizations rang true - except, perhaps, the easy acceptance of Nigel's flimsy story. But that can be excused by Drayton not knowing that Clark and Lois are building an airtight case against Luthor and didn't want to take action too soon. Of course, we expect to see Mr. Drayton pop up again in another story, perhaps assisting Bobby Bigmouth? He probably wouldn't want to be a Temporarily Hired Underworld Goon again, even if he does get his own key card.

"Nobody ever thinks of the henchmen..." ;-)

(I'm AlonzoMosleyFBI, and I approve... er... wrote this message.)

Much thanks to all of you who took the time to read my story. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

As for a sequel, I rule nothing out. It's just a matter if I get a burr in my britches to do it again. Mrs. Mosley will keep you informed. :p

Thanks again, and take care.

AlonzoMosleyFBI

excellent

well done

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THUG #6 is a title: Temporarily Hired Underworld Goon.

I literally laughed at loud at that, causing the person who was walking past my office to stick their head in to see what was so funny.

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definitely a few wontons short of a PuPu Platter

<more laughter> Clearly I chose my lunch today unwisely. I should have gone out for Chinese.

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“You’re right,” I said to Four. “Those are nice legs.”

You keep surprising, slipping in these little gems that I can't resist laughing at. This was an awesome "entrance" for Lois.

I just love having new authors on the boards.

(especially when they write well.) party

I like how you identify Lois as the brunette with the great legs. I also love how the thug that is a few wontons short is also not bright enough to know that it is pointless to shoot at Superman.

Very interesting that THUG#6 never completely changes alliances but still manages to be a simultaneous "hero" (by saving Lois) and "villain" (by not telling the truth about Nigel. Such a man is to be feared.

Please, don't have Lisa keep us posted. Logins are free and don't require a minimum number of uses. You can post any additional stories all by yourself.

Elisabeth
P.S. Have you ever considered nanowrimo?

Hey! I have a profile now!

As for Nanowrimo, yes, I took a whack at it a couple of years back and fell behind after day six or so.

I guess it's a matter of the particular story. I've got about two dozen short stories I've half started and never went back to. With "Welcome Wagon", the original idea was strong enough, but I got stuck thinking of the exact nature of crime Joe would be involved in. Once I found a L&C episode I could follow up with this story, everything fell into place.

Joe coming back would require another generous slice of serendipity. We shall see. :p