FDK: The Adventures of Clara Ellen Lane 5 - 03/03/07 02:35 PM
Yahoo, you posted!
Well, if we're going to introduce a splutter warning, you sure have to apply it to this story! My, did I get a few many laughs out of it!
Good girl! Tell your mother what to do - or what not to do.
Dick again...
Well, he has just made the acquaintance of Mad Mom Lane...
Sweet bantering between the two Kents. Love it!
As I said, Mad Mom Lane...
Hey, that girl is only twelve years old! And already looking for those assets? My, was I a late bloomer...
This is priceless! Stuttering about that sort of thing...
Oh, my, where is she looking? She's much too young for that! Or is this what she wanted to do:
Streaky? As in striped?
This one got me laughing so hard... Did I mention that there are just not enough lauhing smilies on this board?
Oh, sure. Things like that happen every day. Unfortunately, people who do that usually get in touble.
Beware 'Eau de Sweat Socks'! There might be pheromones inside...
That's so like Lois...
Well, if you're Lois' daughter, you'll just find out. No need to check the water level first.
A valid question. In the Batcave? Besides, I remember that once he got his tyres stolen, so, obviously, people (like Jason Todd) are able to find it.
She really has to stop jumping.
Well, if we're going to introduce a splutter warning, you sure have to apply it to this story! My, did I get a few many laughs out of it!
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Miss Lane? Mom? I had forgotten about her. Now that I'm looking at her, she kind of looks like she's trying to disappear. She's moved closer to the door.
"Mom! Don't you dare run out on me!!!
"Mom! Don't you dare run out on me!!!
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"De-delighted to meet you, Miss Lane," he stutters. "I'm Dick - eh, Rick Grayson."
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"I'm very glad to meet you, Rick," she says solemnly. "Thank you so much for taking care of my daughter. And please call me Lois."
Rick turns the color of tomatoes. How many shades of red does this boy have for his face? Guess he isn't going to call Mom Lois.
Rick turns the color of tomatoes. How many shades of red does this boy have for his face? Guess he isn't going to call Mom Lois.
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"Naaah - your grandparents have this really nice dog who kept me company in the barn. He kept me really warm, too."
Grandma is rolling her eyes. "Jonathan, I told you - old Timothy is no good as a watchdog."
Grandpa is grinning. " No, but he's very good at taking care of nice people!"
Grandma is rolling her eyes. "Jonathan, I told you - old Timothy is no good as a watchdog."
Grandpa is grinning. " No, but he's very good at taking care of nice people!"
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I can see Mom's body turn to steel. Uh-oh. You'd think the sheriff would have learnt not to mess with my Mom by now. I can only hope she's going to survive the crash when Mom collides with her full force.
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Batman. Right. Oh boy. He's standing here, right in front of us. Right in front of me. I mean, how big is he? Is he seven feet tall? Eight? And how wide is that chest? Isn't it against the law to have a chest like that? And those arms... and those thighs... and... and....
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Look at that suit. It's dark gray, except it's kind of black too or even dark blue. And it's so skintight that - that it fits him like a c-nd-m, you know? Please don't think I know what anything looks like when it's inside a c-nd-m - I mean.... uh, it's just that the boys in my class always say... oh, never mind....
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But his suit fits him like a second skin, I'm not lying to you. Like it really was his skin. His muscles ripple right through it. You can actually see the veins running along his arms. The only place where his suit covers him up a bit better is between his legs, because you can't see if, if he, what he, uh, looks like right there, ehhhrrrmmmm....
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Rick sure knows he said the wrong thing earlier. He's all red in the face again. Kind of sunset-colored this time. Bit streaky.
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The sheriff goes all white. Hmmmm. Stand her next to Rick, and then you just need to get someone who's blue with cold, and you've got the American flag.
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That should teach her not to lock up twelve-year-olds for no reason at all... I mean, totalling a shed, a car, some trees and a cell is something that could happen to anyone, isn't it?
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I have to look at her feet to see if there's a puddle there. Sure enough her shoes look wet, so she's either melting or else she's got a world record case of sweaty foot odor. I guess it could be just stinking feet, because I can smell her.
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More like the sort of baby girl pink she didn't buy for me when I was a baby. Oh, but Uncle Perry and Aunt Alice bought me all the pink stuff I could dream of.
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Will he be really angry if I borrow Mom's cell phone to take a picture of him?
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Rick's the only one who looks unimpressed. "How the heck does he do that?" I whisper to him.
"Do what?"
"Park that thing where no one sees it?"
"Don't know," he confesses. I stare at him.
"Do what?"
"Park that thing where no one sees it?"
"Don't know," he confesses. I stare at him.
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And then, BAM! The car is there!!! I can see it!!! Just like that! Just like it popped in out of nowhere! I sceam and I jump ten feet straight up in the air, I swear I do.
And then Batman is behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder. And I scream louder than ever and jump clear over the barn. Then I guess I bounce and come back to where Batman is, and the Batmobile.
I land on top of the Batmobile, too. On the shiny black roof of it. Wouldn't you know I dented it a little?
And then Batman is behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder. And I scream louder than ever and jump clear over the barn. Then I guess I bounce and come back to where Batman is, and the Batmobile.
I land on top of the Batmobile, too. On the shiny black roof of it. Wouldn't you know I dented it a little?