FDK: HIs Girl Lois -Part 3 - 04/13/06 10:07 PM
Hi,
Great part.
Great part.
Re: FDK: HIs Girl Lois -Part 3 - 04/14/06 01:15 AM
Marcy, your Loius "Slot Machine King" Venelli just blew me away!!! His absolutely delightful way of talking, all the 1930s or 40s "gangster" words that your text is full of. WOW!!!! I'm so impressed, and so reminded of all the things I could never have written, you know? Anyway. I loved it!
But then - Clark!!! The - the lunkhead!!! Honestly, women. What can we do to make those darn men understand that they shouldn't lie to us for our own good? For our own protection?
At least Clark is honest enough to admit that he has lied to Lois out of sheer cowardice:
Gaahh!!! Clark drives me crazy here. First, he assumes that Lois is going to be so immature, conventional, inflexible or what not that she won't be able to deal with the truth about him. Clark is really belittling Lois here, isn't he? He honestly does not respect her as a person.
Second, he is being totally selfish! If he were to tell Lois the truth about him, then it is of course possible that she wouldn't want him - well, we know she certainly would, but Clark can't really know it - and he refuses to give her the right to make an informed choice. He'd rather blow smoke in her eyes than let her see for herself and choose. Because his wishes are the only ones that count, aren't they?
Ahh!!! And then, fascinatingly, you show us that even in this desperate situation, Clark isn't sure he is going to tell her about Superman:
Honestly, what does the man want? He can't tell her because he might lose her, but now that he is about to lose her he may not be able to tell her because - - well, because of what?
Ah! The lunkhead, the idiot. But Marcy, I'm hooked. I so want to see where you are taking this story. I'm sure you are going to bring it to a satisfying conclusion!
Oh, just one thing. I'm sure you are not going to do anything like this, but - well, just imagine that Loius Venelli managed to uncover some dirt on Dan Scardino. He shows it to Lois, she is shocked and decides to dump Dan. And just because she can't deal with being single and beau-less, she comes crawling back to Clark. She begs him to take her back, whether or not he wants to tell her his secret! Because stupid little women don't need know anything about anything, do they, as long as they have a big strong man who takes care of them?
Ahh!! No, Marcy. There's no way you could let your story end like that!!!
Can't wait for the rest of this story!
Ann
But then - Clark!!! The - the lunkhead!!! Honestly, women. What can we do to make those darn men understand that they shouldn't lie to us for our own good? For our own protection?
At least Clark is honest enough to admit that he has lied to Lois out of sheer cowardice:
Quote
He loved her and depended on her so much that finally he had resigned himself to never telling. He figured having her ignorant of the real situation was better than not having her at all.
Second, he is being totally selfish! If he were to tell Lois the truth about him, then it is of course possible that she wouldn't want him - well, we know she certainly would, but Clark can't really know it - and he refuses to give her the right to make an informed choice. He'd rather blow smoke in her eyes than let her see for herself and choose. Because his wishes are the only ones that count, aren't they?
Ahh!!! And then, fascinatingly, you show us that even in this desperate situation, Clark isn't sure he is going to tell her about Superman:
Quote
Even now, hours from losing her forever, fear was gripping his insides so strongly that he wanted to waver again, and bolt.
Ah! The lunkhead, the idiot. But Marcy, I'm hooked. I so want to see where you are taking this story. I'm sure you are going to bring it to a satisfying conclusion!
Oh, just one thing. I'm sure you are not going to do anything like this, but - well, just imagine that Loius Venelli managed to uncover some dirt on Dan Scardino. He shows it to Lois, she is shocked and decides to dump Dan. And just because she can't deal with being single and beau-less, she comes crawling back to Clark. She begs him to take her back, whether or not he wants to tell her his secret! Because stupid little women don't need know anything about anything, do they, as long as they have a big strong man who takes care of them?
Ahh!! No, Marcy. There's no way you could let your story end like that!!!
Can't wait for the rest of this story!
Ann
Re: FDK: HIs Girl Lois -Part 3 - 04/14/06 10:31 AM
I agree, I'm really enjoying this story. Clark and his overwhelming, largely ridiculous insecurity! Man, can't you just accept that your fabulous, wonderful, soulmate loves YOU, you big idiot? I know, I know, everytime he thinks that a little voice pipes up to ask, "why would she want you when she could have Superman?" and everything goes to h*** in a handbasket. Sigh. Oh Clark...Anyway, bring on chapter 3!
Re: FDK: HIs Girl Lois -Part 3 - 04/14/06 01:53 PM
Oh come on Clark, TELL HER ALREADY!!! 
Can't wait to see what Lois does when he finally tells her. Which I strongly believe he will 
.
~Julia
Can't wait to see what Lois does when he finally tells her. Which I strongly believe he will . ~Julia
Re: FDK: HIs Girl Lois -Part 3 - 04/14/06 02:43 PM
Clark is making me crazy! 
Re: FDK: HIs Girl Lois -Part 3 - 04/14/06 04:21 PM
Hi,
Sorry I haven't commented before, but I'm enjoying this story very much.
Like TOC, I love your portrayal of Louis. Clark is being more lunkheaded than I ever thought possible.
Looking forward to more.
Yours Jenni
Sorry I haven't commented before, but I'm enjoying this story very much.
Like TOC, I love your portrayal of Louis. Clark is being more lunkheaded than I ever thought possible.
Looking forward to more.
Yours Jenni
Re: FDK: HIs Girl Lois -Part 3 - 04/14/06 04:51 PM
I love this! I love the insight you have into Clark and also Louis' perception of Lois and CLark's relationship. More and soon please!
Re: FDK: HIs Girl Lois -Part 3 - 04/14/06 09:14 PM
Thanks for all the feedback...keep it coming!
It really energizes me to write more when I know someone is reading it.
There are going to be a few twists and turns, so it may look a little bleaker before it gets better. I hope you'll all stick around for the ride.
And without trying to give the plot away, let me say Ann, that I could not envision in this story making Lois Lane a desperate woman, not in the sense of being willing to take back a LYING Clark Kent. NO, I believe she would have to see a real change before reconciliation could begin. I'm not out to make Dan a bad guy, either, though, anymore than the movie did of Hildi's fiancee. He's more comic relief than anything to me. Dan is the one character I would NOT want to be in this story.
mwhaahahhahhhaa!
Now I will shut up before I just give it all away...I've never been great at keeping surprises.
Although it helps that I'm not 100% sure how it's going to unfold myself. I just write and see what comes out. And I'm only a post ahead of you guys, so you see why it takes me a while to get it out.
Of course, I'm finding I seem to be more motivated to write when I know someone is going to hound me a little for it, go figure. I must be a masochist or something. LOL
Anyways, thanks for all the wonderful comments.
Marcy
It really energizes me to write more when I know someone is reading it.
There are going to be a few twists and turns, so it may look a little bleaker before it gets better. I hope you'll all stick around for the ride.
And without trying to give the plot away, let me say Ann, that I could not envision in this story making Lois Lane a desperate woman, not in the sense of being willing to take back a LYING Clark Kent. NO, I believe she would have to see a real change before reconciliation could begin. I'm not out to make Dan a bad guy, either, though, anymore than the movie did of Hildi's fiancee. He's more comic relief than anything to me. Dan is the one character I would NOT want to be in this story.
mwhaahahhahhhaa!Now I will shut up before I just give it all away...I've never been great at keeping surprises.
Although it helps that I'm not 100% sure how it's going to unfold myself. I just write and see what comes out. And I'm only a post ahead of you guys, so you see why it takes me a while to get it out.
Of course, I'm finding I seem to be more motivated to write when I know someone is going to hound me a little for it, go figure. I must be a masochist or something. LOL
Anyways, thanks for all the wonderful comments.
Marcy
Re: FDK: HIs Girl Lois -Part 3 - 04/15/06 06:18 PM
Marcy
A great part!
Tricia
A great part!
Tricia