FDK: Ficathon: A Recipe for Disaster (1/1) (for Kathryn84)

Hi all,

Kathryn84, I hope this story proves satisfactory and enjoyable. I also hope you have/had a wonderful Christmas/Chanukkah/Kwanza/Solstice/Saturnalia/Yule/Boxing Day/New Year/Hogmanay/________ (Fill in the blank with anything else that might be appropriate for you.)

The macaroni and cheese recipe can be found here. Incidentally, I have made it a few times and it really is delicious. No exaggeration: I really couldn’t taste the cauliflower in it.

Things Kathryn84 wanted:

1. A selfless act

2. Lois, Clark or both finding a friend in Metropolis

3. a recipe

Things Kathryn84 didn’t want:

1. A main character dying

2. Alternative Universes

3. Time travel

Oh poor Lois. Will we ever stop making fun of her cooking skills. This was such a funny little story. Thanks, Lynn.

Haha! Oh, Martha will eventually learn that Lois needs way more hand holding than that.

I once messed up boxed mac and cheese because I forgot to drain the water.

Thanks for a cute little read!!

ROTFL! I kept wondering how Lois would mess it up. I did not see that coming.

Hi all,

Bakasi, I am glad you enjoyed it.

Saskia, I had fun coming up with ways Lois could botch such a simple recipe.

KSaraSara, you didn’t mess up the recipe; you developed a new recipe for mac and cheese soup.

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She thought back to a fortnight earlier, shortly after she and Clark were finally, really, truly married. She had asked Martha the secret to her long and happy marriage -- so different from that of Lois’s parents. Martha had said, “Oh, honey, there’s no secret. There really are only two things needed to keep love alive: Good communication and putting the other person first. I try to do something selfless for Jonathan every day to show him I love him.”

Trust Martha to come up with the best and truest advice about marriage. Whether the man and woman have been together for ten months or ten years, that applies.

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Although Martha had gone on to state that it wasn’t the size of the gesture that mattered, but the frequency, Lois wanted to do something big. And for her, “something big” meant voluntarily cooking something.

Eek!

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She knew it would have to be something simple, so she asked Martha for suggestions. Martha had jotted down a recipe for macaroni and cheese casserole. It was a healthier version, one in which puréed cauliflower and nutritional yeast substituted for some of the cheese.

Yum! Sounds like I need to do some research and find this recipe. Ted and I both need to cut back on the cheese and other dairy products.

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She finally decided to ask for help from one of the Hawaiian-shirted employees. She called out to the back of a dark-haired woman about her age, “Excuse me, miss…” When the other woman turned around, words actually failed Lois for a split second, then she exclaimed eagerly, “Iris? Iris West? I haven’t seen you since you finished your internship at The Planet. What are you doing here?”

Iris looked around, apparently to ascertain that nobody else was nearby. She then leaned toward Lois and whispered, “I’m undercover on a story.” At her normal volume, she said, “Freelancing doesn’t always pay the bills, so until I find a full-time job in journalism, I am enjoying this steady job.”

Hooray! So nice to see Iris in this story. Is this before she and Barry get together?

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Finally, the moment of truth came. Clark inhaled the delectable aroma, which was truly reminiscent of his mother’s cooking. He put a spoonful of the casserole in his mouth. CRUNCH.

Poor Lois! All that effort and the pasta is ah, not quite edible....

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Clark smiled to himself. He had overheard his mother’s words of wisdom and realized that he had just completed his own selfless act for the day.

Neat, sweet treat was this story. Let's hope Lois continues trying to learn how to cook. Might I suggest a few lessons with Uncle Mike Lane? Okay, so what about Iris? Are we going to read more about this other intrepid reporter?

Hi Morgana,

Thank you so much for your kind words.

I hadn’t been planning a sequel, but I’ll bring the possibility up with my muse and see what she has to say. If I recall correctly, she was already a full-time journalist when she first met Barry. I’m nowhere near as familiar with comic book Flash history as I am with comic book Superman’s. But I was delighted when my research for this story revealed that according to the comics, she actually did have an internship at The Planet.

The recipe the story is based on is available here.

Joy,
Lynn

Lois definitely needed the detailed instructions provided in Dr Uma's recipe!! Thanks for a new and improved take on the Culinary Adventures of Lois Lane!

Hello Penny_Lane. Lois certainly did need more detailed instructions than Martha provided. I'm sure that her MIL will learn that soon enough.

Thanks for taking the time to leave feedback.

Very cute story! It reminds me of some absent-minded/sleep deprived moments of cooking with my best friend in college (in the microscopic kitchen shared by the entire dorm floor). My friend forgot to boil the water one time before pouring in the pasta, and another time couldn't figure out why the water wasn't getting how (she never turned the burner on). Sweet, fun memories, and I can SO totally see Lois making those kind of missteps. Thanks for sharing such a sweet fic.

Hi Deadly Chakram,

Thanks for the feedback and the anecdotes. (Forgetting to turn on or boil the water are easy enough mistakes to make, especially for beginning cooks.)

My favourite personally experienced culinary mishap occurred when I was in high school. My friend Greg was extolling the virtues of microwave ovens. I’m old enough to remember when not many families had them. I had never seen one in action, and so he demonstrated by putting a loaf of bread into his family’s microwave, started it, then turned back to me to tell me something.

I looked at the oven and asked him if it was behaving properly; since I had never seen one in action before, I honestly didn’t know whether all of the blue arcing I was seeing was normal. It turns out that when he put the loaf of bread in the oven, he left it in its plastic bag - complete with metal twist tie.

In many ways, he was the most brilliant person I have ever met, but even as a teenager, he was the walking stereotype of the absent-minded professor.

Hi Lynn!

I found another one!

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Lois gazed at the bewildering wall of cheese.

And that’s where I thought that her cheese fondue had exploded against her kitchen wall.

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She had asked Martha the secret to her long and happy marriage

FOOD:

LOIS:

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I try to do something selfless for Jonathan every day to show him I love him.”

LOIS: Getting lonapped and then giving him the byline. Check.

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And for her, “something big” meant voluntarily cooking something.

As opposed to involuntarily cooking something, like when her plant coffee is still too hot for her new cacti to handle.

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She knew it would have to be something simple,

Grilled cheese sandwich?
LOIS: Umm…maybe make it a cheese sandwich to get started with?

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It was a healthier version, one in which puréed cauliflower and nutritional yeast substituted for some of the cheese. Martha swore that you couldn’t taste either.

Jonathan: See Clark, the best recipe is to not offend your wife. And really, I can almost no longer taste the yeast in her casserole and your mother always smiles when I eat it and don’t ask for a second portion.

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and she always felt better when she could get Clark to eat vegetables.

MARTHA: He may be able live off of sun and air alone, but it sets such a bad example for Lois.

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but Lois had off, so today was M & C Day. (Hopefully, it wouldn’t turn out to be Doomsday, as well.)

LNN: We interrupt our coverage of the peace summit to bring you this on the recent catastrophe in one of Metropolis’s residential neighborhoods. Approximately at 11:30, what appears to be a giant cheese monster… Superman wasn’t available for a interview at this time

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“Iris? Iris West? I haven’t seen you since you finished your internship at The Planet. What are you doing here?”

Did that flashy cheerleader gig not work out?

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She then leaned toward Lois and whispered, “I’m undercover on a story.”

Ah, like Ralph at The Hemingway down at the corner from the Daily Planet?

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Who knew that it was so important to put the lid on the blender before turning it on?

That one’s on her. Clark has surely spun her enough times for her to understand how things react to getting spun quickly.

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“Honey, that smells terrific. Just like Mom makes.” “It’s her recipe.” “I can’t wait to try it.”

So…Lost in Translation?

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He put a spoonful of the casserole in his mouth. CRUNCH. “It tastes just like Mom’s.”

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I like crunchy foods.

He can survive on an asteroid.

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so I emptied the box onto one of your cookie sheets and baked the noodles for half an hour first.

Umm…

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Lois hugged Clark and said, “Thank you for not giving up on my cooking. I love you.” Clark smiled to himself. He had overheard his mother’s words of wisdom and realized that he had just completed his own selfless act for the day.

The most adorable little vignette!

Michael

Yay! More Michael feedback. :

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As opposed to involuntarily cooking something, like when her plant coffee is still too hot for her new cacti to handle.

Ayup. Coffee-flavoured cactus. Yum, yum. But be careful -- it has a bite to it.

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LNN: We interrupt our coverage of the peace summit to bring you this on the recent catastrophe in one of Metropolis’s residential neighborhoods. Approximately at 11:30, what appears to be a giant cheese monster… Superman wasn’t available for a interview at this time

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He can survive on an asteroid.

True, but even he has his limits, and it's Lois's nature to push them.

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The most adorable little vignette!

Thank you. I had fun writing it.

Joy,
Lynn

Hi Lynn!

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True, but even he has his limits, and it's Lois's nature to push them.

LOIS: The author is not suggesting that my food is much crunchier that an actual mountain of rocks, is she?

CLARK: /crunch crunch/ I don’t know, Lois. Some of those asteroids are made up of a lot of ice holding the rocks together. And metal inlays, those are more chewy than crunchy. /slurps/ Could you hand me the heavy duty toothpick, please? I think there’s a bit of gold fiber stuck back there.

Michael

<Wipes tears of laughter from her face>. Oh my. Thank you for that much-needed laugh.

Joy,
Lynn