Story is here:

https://www.lcficmbs.com/ubb/ubbthreads.php/topics/289580#Post289580


Many thanks to BlueOwl. I've been needing to get back into the writing groove, so I asked for three nouns and a setting. She gave me: Cyclone, Moon, Blanket, and the Coast. This all took place on the FoLC Skype channel, of course, which is yet another reason to visit it.

Anyway, it's not much, but I hope yall enjoy.

Oh, wow. What a heart-ripper. The parallels between the rescuer and the rescued are so beautiful, and the guilt just jumps off the page. But he can't do anything else. A mother and child likely would have died otherwise. Military and first responders feel the same kinds of pressure to be in multiple places at once - do I show my family how much I love them or try to save people in imminent danger and risk damaging my family relationships?

It's all so very good, but my personal favorite is this:


This is truly beautiful, Mary. Thank you.

Superman sacrifices a lot to help humanity. If he didn’t make that sacrifice, that woman and child would have died. It’s touching that woman realized what he gives up. This is a beautiful story with just the right amount of emotional impact. Yes, Superman, go eat cake and a lot of it. Thank you for sharing this beautiful tale!

This story was a master class in engaging the senses. Your writing was so vivid I could almost feel myself struggling against the water.

I feel like this should be part of a bigger story, though. Why did Superman let his guard down so much? I get the feeling that it is more than just guilt over a missed birthday party coupled with putting himself in Kim's shoes. By this point in his hero-ing, Clark would have learned to master his emotions better than that. That he let slip to a total stranger not only that he is a parent, but also the age of his child makes me think that he is so distraught or distracted that he isn't thinking completely clearly. Were it not for his laugh at the end, I would have assumed that perhaps his child had died or was dying; as it is, I am uncertain what the situation is. Is it really just guilt causing him to divulge so much, or is there a larger story? Inquiring minds want to know.

Either way, this was a compelling story.

Joy,
Lynn

Beautifully written. I loved the last two paragraphs.

As I said before, I always love rescues told from the average person's point of view ^_^
And being shown a different perspective of Superman's personality is an added bonus. If you ever need more nouns or whatever, let me know

Thanks so much, guys! ^_^

Lynn, I guess he did open up a little too easily. I was hoping to chalk it up to his being a new parent still, plus the fact that Jake's description could have applied to his own kid, etc. Maybe Kim is just one of those people that everyone feels comfortable confiding in? *shrug*

@Lynn: I don't think Superman opened up too easily. I think it was a combination of the stress of the rescue (if we think Superman doesn't get stressed during times of danger, he can't require Lois' help in decompressing), Jake and his child both being two, Kim's perceptiveness, and Clark's compassion for people in trouble. It felt quite natural to me.

Mary, I didn't mention this before, but Kim's pullback when she almost mentioned Superman's family supports my thought that she's very perceptive. I imagine the following mental dialogue for her.


Of course, that's only my humble opinion, and everyone is entitled to react to a story as he or she sees fit. Especially when it's a masterpiece like this one.

Kerth nom!

Beautifully written in a heart-tugging way. Poor Clark, always torn in multiple directions, always doing the greater good, even when it hurts him. I love the "Go eat cake" line at the end. Glad to see Kim is smart enough to keep that little secret. Thanks for sharing!

(Oddly enough, you posted this the day before we got hit with Hurricane Henri in CT - which hit on my daughters' birthday no less - and now that I finally get the chance to read it, the remnants of Ida is raging outside.)

The storm's intensity was really powerfully described. I am glad he was able to save Kim's little boy, but it also made him think about his own son. Poor Clark! No doubt he wishes he could be in two places at once.

The last lines were precious and touching.

Oh wow!! This was amazing!! So much emotion packed in a little story, so well-written!

My favorite lines:


LOVE LOVE LOVE. I am a sucker for moments like this.

Hi Mary,

Aaaand here we go again
I feel like it’s right out of the Thunderstorm scenes from Jurassic park. The T-Rex is surely close now.

Okay, Jake’s probably a Kent, but I did go to Bugs Bunny editing the scene while it’s playing for the audience.

Can still be Superboy. He’s a scrappy 18 y/o pulling her out.
KIM: I’m also 18! Not a ma’am

Oh, Jake’s a baby! She *is* a ma’am.

KIM: Not according to my mother-in-law.

Good to ask. It could be a dog. A stuffed bear. A dragon.

Because he missed it?

Being Superman doesn’t pay the bills and Barry did open up an interesting avenue for making money.

Nice little -- I guess quiet doesn’t really fit but seems apt here? – bit. Despite the action, it felt like the emotional effects in the stormy quiet of his mind where the true core of this piece

Michael