I'd love to hear what you think of this part. I'm particularly interested to know if the non-linear format (with the flashback) works for the gentle readers.

Ohh! Poor little Lois, not understanding. Even her father thinks she's a freak, that's awful. Super glad for how you've painted Ellen Lane here, though. She's such a good mother my hero.

Ooh, and Lois is back now but no Clark? Very intriguing. I like the uses of time jumps here a lot, keeps us on our toes.

Can't wait to see where this goes!

(Also I was getting worried where the comments thread was, thinking maybe there was a different format you were using? So glad I double checked and came back for this )

Well, you already know what I think, but I'll post my comments here anyway.

I really like the flashbacks -- I like how it sets the tone for the chapter, seeing what Lois went through in her early days and how it impacts her in the current day.

I also got a major kick out of how Mad Dog Lane is even MORE of a rockstar in this universe because of her powers. She solved the entire first season's worth of storylines in her first month on the job.

Kathy

Mouserocks Thanks for responding. Yes, this Sam Lane character is a little worse than the one we saw on the show. I couldn't do that to Lois without balancing things out a little by giving her a more supportive and nurturing mom.

I'm glad you like the non-linear format. I wanted to introduce Lois, but didn't want to take everyone back to her childhood before we started to see the adult characters we love together. Which will happen soon. Yes, Clark is taking his time coming back from the other universe.

As for the FDK thread, I wasn't sure if authors created their own these days or whether the readers started them. If you like having the FDK thread started with each chapter, I can definitely do that. I'm updating the TOC anyway. Thanks again!

KathyB! If the flashbacks work for the readers, it's because of your advice. I did think that her abilities would help her get the stories a bit faster, but I'm might have overdone it a little. Clark is going to be gone for a while, it would probably be a little more believable to stretch that timeframe out a bit. Thanks for the feedback.

I'm tweaking chapter 2 a little, but I'll try to get it up tomorrow.

Really liking this one, BJ! You got me hooked in the prologue, and I'm interested to see how this one plays out. I wasn't sure at first about Lois's "gift" but after reading this next part, I'm actually liking it. It's neat to read about Lois having a "superpower" of her own, so to speak. It reminds me that this is an alternate Metropolis, but one I really like visiting.

You have a great talent for details that draw a reader in, like this one:


The comparison of the co-workers to the swirling currents of an ocean and Lois standing alone as the island in the middle of it all really speaks to how she is feeling, so much more than a simple "Lois felt lonely." I love good characterization, great banter between characters, good flow to a story, all of that... but the devil is in the details for me. If an author can paint a picture for me, I'm sold. You've done a really nice job so far - keep it up!

I'm looking forward to the next part (and Clark coming back!) - hopefully soon!

Tracey

traceylynn I'm so glad you are liking it. It's wonderful to hear what works for people and what doesn't and hooking new readers is great incentive. Lois having a "superpower" is a concept I've wanted to write about from the very beginning. My very first story idea, in fact.

I'm glad you liked the details. I hope to keep providing them throughout the story. I'm a very visual person and I almost have to see the scene before I can write it. up!

You're wish is my command. Next part coming right up.

No worries! I usually make my own for the toc alone but I almost made you a thread for fdk except I was running out the door. I only ask because I did see a comment about asking about the fdk thread method on the commenting thread and wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything.

The third time they broke out the bubbly? Wow! Lois is really working hard to clean up her corner of the world. But somehow, without Clark to back her up, it's just not the same.

Morgana said:Too much?