Story is here.

Comments and exclamations of "WTF?!" go here.

Wow. That was different. Different, but amusing.

Thanks for making my day a bit brighter.

Joy,
Lynn

That was ... different. So, what's this 8-month window for Clark to father a child?

I am officially confused .....

I... I... I... WHY would Clark agree to that? WHILE in love with Lois and trying to convince he's a stand-up sort of guy? It's as if he's shooting himself in the foot. With his abilities, he must know that there might be some chance that they'll be passed along to any offspring. Like Morgana, I'm baffled by what's going on in this story. I'm entertained, but definitely flummoxed motivation-wise.

My understanding of the story (please correct me if I am wrong, Queenie), is as follows:

Clark's Kryptonian biology permits him only eight months of fertility (not a good trait for the survival of the species). Cat had somehow found out that Clark is Superman. He wishes to have a child, but he is still holding onto the notion that he wants Lois to love him as Clark, and so he is reluctant to tell her his secret and ask her to be the mother of his child. (The timing is wrong.)

What I don't understand is Cat's motivation for agreeing. Her character as depicted in canon doesn't seem to me to be the sort who would be willing to "let her body go to pot" so that she could help Clark out. (Please note: That quoted phrase is how I think *she* would think about pregnancy; it is *not* my personal opinion.) But I'm willing to overlook a lot of character inconsistencies in a comedy piece that would bother me in a serious story.

Joy,
Lynn

How can Clark expect Lois will fall in love with him after he impregnated Cat out of all the women in the world? She could maybe accept if it where any other woman, but Cat?!?

Add me to the list of confused and lost by this story.

I kept thinking it was a nightmare, and either Clark or Lois would wake up in the last line, as in the shower scene in Dallas or its spoof in the Newhart finale.

For those of you not familiar with Dallas or Newhart...

Lol...yes, this is a Newhart situation. It's missing the last paragraph:

Lois woke up with a start. She put her hand over her pregnancy bump and looked over at her sleeping husband with a scowl. If Superman hadn't been busy last night, he could have gotten food for her in the middle of the night to satisfy her craving. Instead, she had called the only open Chinese delivery place available. But after that nightmare, she swore to herself that she'd never eat from Ralph's Pagoda again.

Lol...still, this crazy little story has certainly generated a lot of comments! Fun!

Okay, this makes sense.

Thank God for the missing paragraph! Otherwise, I was going to echo the other WTF sentiments here. It's actually pretty funny with the nightmare situation at the end!

I wish I could have laughed at "scientist with a turkey baster," but it actually struck a very sad vibe with me.

I did not see Queeny make any comments about a missing paragraph. That was cuidadora's idea of how to make the story make some sense. I would love to hear Queeny's explanation of the warped thought process for this story. It seems on the surface to be amusing but what if Clark only had nine months to procreate or it would never happen and at that time Lois was enamored with Lex (end of season 1). What would he do? Myself I could not see Cat as an option, Rachel would be a much more attractive option for him. Maybe I am just missing the whole story concept and am overthinking it, Morgana will tell you I never do THAT…

Mike

Mike, I (perhaps wrongly) assumed that the "missing paragraph" was posted by the beta reader.

I have to say I (like most here) was confused a lot by the story.

I have no idea whether cuidadora is a beta reader for the fic. I was kind of expecting Queeny to chime in but as of yet she has not. From what I read from cuidadora's post she was just supposing that what this fic needed was a Dallas/Newhart type ending. Maybe someone will clear this up eventually...

Mike

My "missing paragraph" was a joke. I just made it up off the top of my head. Maybe my humor was too dry...sorry for the confusion.

Well, it didn't help that I was really hoping it would end like your paragraph!

Sorry for adding to the confusion. I'm not a beta reader for this story.

I was confused by it, and didn't follow the reference to the 8 months, why Clark would want anyone other than Lois to carry his child, or why Cat would agree to get pregnant especially in such a clinical way.

You're right Mike, I was just speculating that a Dallas/Newhart dream explanation would be a fun way to end it.

Hmmmmmmm. Thinking on this one . Cat? .

I, too, was expecting it all to be a dream/etc. Looking forward to Queeny's response...

Laura

Hi guys, sorry it took me so long: I have to go to McDonald's for internet.

Anywho, this fic was written pretty quickly, so I didn't really delve into motivations or anything; I think if I had sat down and made a longer fic (which I still might...possibly), I would have delved more into the hows and whys (although I admit that, having thought about it and read the comments, my ideas for why Cat agreed don't seem as plausible as I thought at first, so that will need thinking.)

Mostly, my intent in posting was A) to hopefully entertain (of course), but also I was hoping to get a ball or two rolling with such a wild idea. We have a lot of creative FoLCs on these boards, and I wondered if the scent of such a wild idea would inspire some ideas from further out of left field. Plus, I hadn't written anything all week and was starting to go bananas. :p

(Also: Fic was un-beta'd. A beta probably would have smacked me and made me fill in the plot-holes.)


Do you mean Sad as in "pathetic" or sad as in "makes you wanna cry"? If the first, I'll admit that my knowledge of Artificial Insemination is spotty at best and mostly comes from jokes and sitcoms, but if the latter, I'm afraid I don't understand the reaction then. Clark didn't actually want to sleep with Cat, so they did it the other way, which is a totally valid way to make babies as far as I know. Did I do something wrong?

Again, thanks to everyone who read, and I'm glad I was able to make some of you laugh. I'll try to be more coherent next time. ...Probably. ...Unless I have a really wild idea that's too tempting to pass up.

ETA: Also, Lynn was 99% right about Clark's motivation; I was actually thinking that Jor-El had somehow hot-wired his son to be compatible with Earth Women, but it would only last for 8 months. He didn't want to jeopardize his pursuit of Lois by giving her Superman too early, but he and Cat got to be friends somehow and...well, here we are. As for shooting himself in the foot--well, he is a lunkhead, after all.

99%? Cool! I realize that Sam Lane would say I still have 1% room for improvement, but I'm satisfied.

The Jor-El explanation does make more sense than having an eight month window for all Kryptonian males.

I'm not sure whether your story will spawn others, but it has certainly sparked a lot of discussion.

Joy,
Lynn

Queen - I meant sad as in, made me wanna cry. Sometimes, I'm okay with stuff like that, sometimes it just strikes a deep chord with me. (My twins were born through IVF, which is way more complicated than IUI, aka the one most people associate with the image of a turkey baster.) Infertility (in this case, Clark's real or imagined 8 month window) just hits me like a ton of bricks sometimes, since it dredges up my own memories of going through Assisted Reproductive Technologies (ART for short). Also, it made me sad that he had to turn to Cat, of all people, to get his baby, especially given the snippy relationship she and Lois have.

But, as you said, Clark's a lunkhead.

One good reason to pick Cat and for her to agree is that she already knew that he was Superman. There have been a couple of stories where she did that.

Hi Queenie! Murder? Why would there be murder…? Wait, did you do something naughty to Lois?

Maybe if he walked into her apartment fully dressed and brought a portable radio. Then, he could turn on the radio and start removing the suit and then the suit…? What’s the worst that could happen, a sexual harassment suit?

What? Is that where the murder part is coming into play?

Oh, so he *didn’t*?
CLARK:



And had S-E-X! Unwed one at that. How is anyone at the senior center ever again going to trust his articles?

Warned? Something is very strange here…

Huh? Wait, did Clone-Clark do something naughty? Or Barry?

So, size issues, then?

Huh, what? They…Dr. Klein…she…what? Really? What…?

Oh, 8 months and that’s it? Really? Clark!

yeah, plus Lois will so go for this. Uh-huh.

RALPH: Way to go, man. Most guys only catch something they need penicillin for from her. You got an entire human being!

RALH: So, not funny?

Uh-huh. Since they already made the baby. Why didn’t she, you know, demand that they do it naturally?



That was completely out of the left field. Well…I guess I should have expected it, given it’s one of yours, but still, completely out of the left field

Michael