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Posted By: NostalgiaKick FDK- A Week in Paris 8/? - 07/18/15 12:08 AM
Feedback folder.

This story is almost finished. I'm still writing it, but I think it's probably got another 2 or 3 chapters at most.

Feli
Posted By: Morgana Re: FDK- A Week in Paris 8/? - 07/19/15 04:59 PM
Let me be the first one to comment on this story.

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By the time he got to Macon, he felt strong enough to fly. Momentarily he considered turning in the rental car there and flying the rest of the way, but instead decided to conserve his energy and return it at the next town.

Bourg-en-Bresse wasn't a particularly large city. It was an easy matter to track down the rental car agency and pay for the car - and the window repair. Then he found a deserted spot and took to the sky.



Clark flew high over the main road between Geneva and Chamonix, scanning frantically for traces of Lois and Luthor. The road was practically deserted; so far he'd only seen two vehicles since leaving Geneva, and he was starting to worry that he'd missed them.

You have done a lot of research on the European roads and it shows. We can see that Clark is as familiar with this area as he is with Metropolis and New Troy. This adds a lot of realism to the story.

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He felt rather than saw the kick aimed for him, one that would push him over the edge of the cliff face. With a superhuman effort, he rolled at the last second.

The momentum of the vicious kick missing caught Luthor off guard. Unable to get his balance back, he pitched forward over the sheer drop ahead.

Clark made one wild grab at the falling man and missed, the pain of his action causing him to curl into an agonised ball.

Lex's madness is very evident here. Who is the real freak? Certainly not Clark, his adversary's determination to kill him, Clark tries to save his life. In the end proving he is the real human.

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“We need to get you to a hospital.”

“No!”

The vehement exclamation was followed by a groan. She glanced at him, seeing the beads of sweat collecting on his forehead. “Clark -”

“No hospital,” he repeated. “All I need is -”

Lois cut him off in frustration. “Time and sunlight. I know.”

She put the car into gear and turned it around, heading back towards Paris.

Don't worry Clark, she's learning! grin
Posted By: LMA Re: FDK- A Week in Paris 8/? - 07/20/15 03:59 PM
Wonderful chapter, Feli clap clap clap

You had me at the edge of my seat, nervous/excited to see what would happen next. The suspense you created was very impressive--especially for your first story. Your word choices, the details, the emotions penetrating from the character's actions...everything...it all so very much added to the feel of urgency in this part.

Like Morgana mentioned, the detail of the names of the towns as they rolled by added a lot. You've really put Lois and Clark in France notworthy.

Really looking forward to these last few parts. Getting back to Paris...Clark hopefully heading back to Metropolis with Lois after that grovel.

Great job!
Laura
Posted By: groobie Re: FDK- A Week in Paris 8/? - 07/20/15 04:19 PM
Great dramatic part. Lex is no longer a threat, and Lois and Clark are together again, headed back to Paris. She just needs to convince him to come back to Metropolis for a WAFFY ending. smile
Posted By: cuidadora Re: FDK- A Week in Paris 8/? - 07/21/15 01:52 PM
Delightful chapter. I second what everyone else has said.

Great job. Looking forward to the next part.
Posted By: Mike M Re: FDK- A Week in Paris 8/? - 07/21/15 01:56 PM
"Time and Sunlight, I know". Had me laughing out loud in the office...

Again kudos on you first multi-chapter effort. Love it.

Mike
Posted By: VirginiaR Re: FDK- A Week in Paris 8/? - 07/22/15 11:09 PM
You really make Luthor a nasty, mentally unstable fellow. First, Lex kills his henchmen because he merely threatens Lois's life, and then he's throwing her in locked trunks and hitting her upside the head with his gun. (I was really hoping for someone from the French bus to notice and get involved.) It's an all 'nobody but me can hurt Lois, 'cause she's my gal' sort of love. Yea for Clark's speedy (if not to him, but for us) recovery. I could definitely understand him getting mad (er... furious) at Luthor for beating Lois up. Too bad, it made him forget that Luthor had Kryptonite and probably had more. (Since Luthor isn't an eggs all in one basket kind of guy.) Looking forward to seeing how Clark explains his absence in Vienna. smile
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