What's Hank doing with the babble gene, when it's his wife who's the descendant?
YES! And when he offered her that space, and she accepted it for what it was and "threw herself at him"... Happy, happy sigh.

I have a feeling, though, that there's going to be *some* kind of reset button. Either that, or they've moved through dimensions. Or something. Whatever the case may be, I'll wait for the Mistress to post the next two parts and see what she comes up with herself.

Hazel

Yes, yes...how to resolve this dilemma, if I were so lucky to be in CC's shoes??

Hmmmmm

Well, let's see. What do we know? (I love doing this)

* When they arrived in Utopia, they had a slight memory loss

* Lois' diary that Tempus had read stated that Superman flew her home when the dawn was breaking.. but in reality, Tempus arrived in the darkness...
* There is no mention of Tempus in any of the Lane-Kent memoirs.... (not even H.G. Wells?? then how did the Ministry of Peacekeepers and Helpers know about him? Ah, from 50 years ago..the disappearing person case)

Amnesia is always the "catch-all" used when you want to show an "elseworld" situation but don't want to make it stick. God knows, the Smallville PTB use it every week! They used it in STM to make Lois forget she knew Clark was S-Man.

Somehow, though, I think CC has something else up her sleeve, and that there are clues in the story somewhere that tell us how it resolves.

I'm going to have to mull this one over...

I will say I don't think Tempus is really dead. Maybe they're Andrus' bones?? LOL or Herb's??? One of his replicants, which was alluded to early in the story but never really mentioned since?

I'll be back. Actually due to the miracle of re-editing (kind of like a temporal time shift), I've already been back 3 x's and no one knew !<g>

No, thank you for writing! This story continues to be everything that is wonderful. Do you realise the Saturday thing is almost enough to make me cancel my holiday? Almost... But not quite.

I'm with Hazel on the Utopia front. I honestly hated the idea of Utopia as portrayed in the show. It didn't sound like any world I'd want to live in. You've managed to provide a convincing scenario here. The society works, but it is dull and flawed.

You've also managed to humanise Tempus, despite his almost total absence from the drama. He's still a villain, but he's now a sympathetic one. It's easy to see where he's coming from.

Not much action in this part, but the conversation made up for it. I love Lois here. She's come a long way in 16 parts and has accepted her destiny. Her arguments are well reasoned and balanced. Clark has aspirations for a better world; this Lois will temper aspiration with realism, and hopefully the end result will be the better for it. You make the whole idea that perfection isn't good for us seem completely reasonable.

Actually, I'm wondering whether Lois and Clark will go home, forget everything, and still go on to create Utopia... They might not remember their stay, but their influence and / or involvement... or maybe the mere fact of their presence... will lead to the undoing of the worst of that society.

I'm wondering about those bones, too... As much as I'd like to think they belong to Tempus -- you haven't redeemed him enough for me not to be applauding his demise -- I'm not so sure. Have I missed something crucial about the missing person case?

Two parts to go. How on earth are you going to wrap everything up in so short a space?

Chris

Yay! Silas is going to see Elise, Hank is going to see Elise, Hank has already revealed the existence of the Peacekeepers to Elise; we're moving right along now.

Tempus may have had a point about there being a problem with Utopia as it existed, but I still think he went about changing things all wrong. If he was that convinced things needed to be changed (even if he was right about that) he should have worked to change his *present* rather than trying to change his past.

I'm wondering if Tempus isn't going to end up being nothing more than a myth because he's effectively managed to erase himself by changing Lois & Clark's history just enough to cause the evolution of a more balanced Utopia?

We still have Andrus and Wells floating around as loose ends; and apparently Wells really can be as dangerous a loose cannon as Andrus.

This is all awesome stuff and I have REALLY enjoyed this story. You've done a wonderful job and I look forward to reading the rest of it. Thank you.

Oh wow. Oh my god. I don't know how you do it, CC, but with every new instalment the tension is mounting to an unbearable level. Now I'm on the edge of my seat once more, and frantically scrolling, scrolling, trying to get the screen to scroll down some more to find the rest of the story... and...

...and...

...and THERE ISN'T ANY MORE!!! ARGH!!!!

Okay, okay. General impressions. I'm with Chris: I'm not convinced those bones are Tempus's. And the fact that no-one's rushing to get them identified is making me even mpre suspicious.

I agree entirely with Chris and Hazel about Utopia. This is not a perfect society by any means. So whatever changes are made can only be for the better. I like Madge's Doomsday scenario thinking - actually, few of those options are truly terrible, except for the disappearance of the Lane-Kents. They just reflect normal life: not always good, sometimes dangerous, sometimes scary, but real. Where people have genuine choices, and make them.

I have to quote this:

This made me laugh out loud. Why? Because in my last job I knew a Robert Smith, and this is him to a T!

Oh, good, Madge. Because I'm worried Tempus tried to fake his own death somehow.

Great, great line. If I had even the slightest doubt about what Lois' felt about this whole crazy situation, that says it all right there for me.



Well, hell's bells, I'm an absolute wreck over the rest of this. Silas, hurry up and find Elise! Hindsight is 20/20, but you probably should have told someone like...when this all first started! Maybe everyone wouldn't be in the pickle they are now.

Here here! Although I think, just think mind you, that maybe I know why Lois and Clark never mention Tempus.

Madge made him up.

Just an idea, just thinking here, but her record of what she knows will get jetisoned into the past, and some brand new UTOPIAN busy body is going to discover it.

LOVE THIS all the waffy first date stuff Wendy mentioned, and already praised so very well,
I LOVE THIS STORY!!!

TEEEEEEEJ<going, ACCCKKK!! Saturday!?>

Edit PS: And if Tempus gets eaten by a tiger for all of this, so much the better.
TJ

Deep, satisfied sigh ... I know we still have two parts to go, but this is coming together so nicely.

I love this, Hank's growing hysteria. I can just picture this whole scene, and it's so rich.


LOL on her waiving the clavicle. And I also laughed because I'd been thinking the exact same thing! Get those bones ID'ed! If there was any was possible for Tempus to arrange this, he would. I really do think they are his, and if so, it's an ingenious way to "solve the Tempus problem once and for all" (kind of reminds me of Phil blowing up Lex with a nuclear hand grenade down his pants in S6 <vbg>) but I won't believe it till I see it.

Excuse me while I beam with pride. I knew it!!! LOL! Well, OK, I may have had it a little backwards with the timing of the comic book -- if you'll recall, my theory was that Tempus existed as a character first and Robert Smith adopted the name in an attempt to become a future day Jesse James/Robin Hood combo -- but I was right about him being just a regular guy who had finally just had enough. That counts for something, doesn't it? Just a little, maybe? Kinda, sorta?

Still think he might have some Lane blood in him, though. Eighteenth cousin, twice removed ... so he doesn't show up in the history books.

Wonderful. Just wonderful.

I'm still guessing as to whether L&C will be returned with their memories intact. I want them to remember, in no small part because I have PTSS from the S1 finale reset and I always feels that renders an entire story moot, yet I can see evidence for them not to. But then you get into the whole time loop paradox thing again ... do they not write about Tempus because he never returns to their time and they never know about him? Or do they simply learn from the Peacekeepers who return them that Tempus is dead so they don't bother? And either way, has the information Clark read about their future already changed to reflect this new time loop?

Of course, if they're upstairs doing what I think they're doing, they may have an early start on this whole family thing anyway, which could mean a whole new branch of the family.

And this was very well done. Again, a nod to fandom as future observers, but also a great way to explore some of the various options for how this will all end. I like your various theories.

Can't wait to see Silas track down his sister just as Hank is trying to share a last tender moment, LOL.

Saturday, Saturday, Saturday!

Kathy (who can't believe this story is almost over. What am I going to DO???)

I'm back because, while I was cleaning out the pond, I had a thought. (Well, you have to focus on something other than pond slime, believe me! ). Anyway, it's about the bakery/deli thing. What if the reason the Peacekeepers run a bakery chain is this:

The world knows, through Family oral history, that Clark first emerges from seclusion after The Big Exposure because Lois makes him go and buy her a bagel. But history doesn't record where he went to get it - what matters is the fact that he got it, not the exact location. And so, when the Peacekeepers needed a cover for their real activities, they remembered the bagel story and chose a bakery business in honour of Clark Buying Lois The Bagel - after all, bagels are baked in bakeries, right?

(Not that this ever needs explaining in the story, of course. But, you see, this is what you have us doing, CC - coming up with all sorts of theories around absolute trivia in the universe you've created! )


Wendy (who hasn't a clue what she'll do when this story is over either... )

I'm still loving this, CC.

Not sure how much I have to add this time to what's already been said, though. Seeing Lois talk about Utopia was really fun, all the more so because she's echoing what a lot of people (including you) have been saying in the comments folders.

I was also gratified to see that they weren't going to blindly, naievely trust that the bones actually were Tempus's. If they hadn't done that, I'd have been sure he was still alive. Now... I suspect he is, but I'm open to the other possibility.

I'm also hoping that, whatever happens when L&C go home, Utopia will have become a better place for their having been there -- both because of their direct influence in the future and because of subtle changes to the past. Maybe, if Utopia does come out better the next time around, there won't be any reason for Tempus to snap.

BTW, I, like many, love Tempus's new name and origin. Great job.

Oh, yes, and ditto Chris on the reaction to "Thank you for reading." I've said it before, I'll say it again. Thank you so much for writing this and sharing it. I can honestly say that reading this story has continuously been one of my high points for the last few weeks, if not longer. I'm starting to feel like we should be paying you or something. I'm trying to be better about commenting, but really... it feels weird to get entertainment this good and know that it's free. I don't know. Maybe you could sell advertizing space in the comments folders or something?

One more thing. Something Kathy said just sparked a really odd idea.

I doubt it's going to happen, but let me run with this for a sec. Lois gets pregnant in the future. L&C are found. L&C have to be returned to the past for the sake of the timeline. That also means that most, if not all, of their memories will have to be wiped. That means that Lois can't be returned pregnant. They're certainly not going to do anything to the baby. So, they have to wait (or transfer the fetus to an artificial womb or something). L&C can then be sent back to their proper time.

Now, though, there's another problem. What can they do with the baby? Sure, the family would be happy to take care of it, but it wouldn't really be right. It's out of place. It's first generation. It wasn't supposed to be born in that time. It really should be raised by its parents.

The thing is, the peacekeepers have a time portal. So, the baby could be sent back to its parents at virtually any point in their lives. Now, you'd want to send it to a time when L&C are happily married and ready to at least start thinking about kids. You wouldn't want to wait too long, though, because they have to have the time and energy to raise another child. So, not in their old age, and not when they have a bunch of other kids running around, and probably not when the kids are teenagers (because then the gap would be too big for comfort). For L&C's emotional well-being and that nice bit of symmetry, and because the baby is, technically, their first born, it might be nice to send it to them at a time when they want kids but think they can't have them.

Now, you'd want them to be completely sure that it was their child. At the same time, you can't risk letting them know too much about the future. So, clearly, the best solution to the whole thing is to send the baby back to just that point I mentioned (when they're ready to have kids, but don't think it's possible) and leave it comfortably in a crib inside their home, wrapped in a Superman blanket with a note attached saying, "Lois and Clark, this is your baby."

Doing so might even manage to save Utopia from coming apart. You know, send the baby from a dying world to good parents who want a baby but don't think they can have one, secure in the knowledge that they will take care of him and he'll grow up to fulfill a great destiny.

Makes sense, no?

Paul

OMG!! PAUL!! All I can say is if CC already has this, you're both BRILLIANT!

TEEEEEEEJ

Amazing part!!!

I can´t wait to read the next one.

Karla

I have loved this story greatly, but I have one little...
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Why don't they just go back to a slightly earlier time before Tempus was supposedly eaten?


James, who is ducking under his keyboard to prevent getting hit by cyber-veggies.

Sounds like we have just read another version of the Family Hour!!

LOL James! I actually thought the same thing.

The answer, though, is probably, "because then it would wipe out this awesome ending CC spent so long constructing." <vbg>

Kathy

James, there is a really simple answer to that. So simple, I'm surprised you aren't familiar with it.

Paul will now explain it to you...

Paul?

Hatman?

Hello?

Ok.

How about this: If you are holding the clavicle of the person you are going backwards in time to fetch, and *then* you bring the living body of that person into the same room as their own future deceased clavicle... the world explodes in a rain of fire and other really bad stuff you don't want to be messing with.

Kinda?

<sigh>

CC- going back under the bed to wail 'No more time-travellll!!!'

Edit: Actually, I think I can work around that little plot hole I just. did. not. see.

KathyB had it right. I had all this lovely Madge introspection set to go, and we've been fretting over the world ending for close to 200 pages now, so it's about darn time it actually did.

Anyway, I have an idea. And thank you for the catch, James. You gave me the high school locker, so I didn't have the heart to stick more than a few pins in my James-replicant voo-doo doll this evening.

Actually, I was working on that, CC.

Best I could come up with, though, was:

A) If you find the dead body and then go back in time to prevent the body from becoming dead, you get into one of those awful causality loops that no one really wants to have to deal with. (That exploding thing you mentioned.)

B) Temporal Prime Directive, Corollary One: You can go back in time to fix problems created by villains, but you can't go back in time to fix your own mistakes or problems that occured naturally. If that sort of thing was allowed, it could easily get out of hand and lead to all sorts of abuse problems. So, there's a strict departmental policy against trying anything even close to that without solid proof that there has been interference in the timeline. Madge has gone far enough using the portal without due process. Using it again to break a rule that big is just out of the quesiton.

(This also explains why no one has gone back to fix any of Andrus's flubs. It may also explain why no one went back in time to stop Herb from picking up Tempus in the first place. Herb himself, of course, is not a member of the department, but he is sometimes monitored by them. So, he has some leeway, but he's not completely free.)

C) Given the shock and dispair felt by Madge and crew at seeing their last best hope crushed, they simply didn't think to try it. They barely convinced each other to test the remains, and even that was, in their minds, mostly busy work. They're not exactly at their best right now.

Not sure what you came up with, CC, but that's what I've got.

Paul

I love you, Paul. Have I mentioned?

Also, I was thinking something exactly along the lines of your second option. If you can just erase your mistakes, that's cheating. And you never really move forward in a linear way. Just keep circling back around.

Option three works for me, too. And I think that's where I was in writing it. Closing the last avenue, pushing Madge into despair.

Maybe we should vote on it?

CC

edit: You know, I just thought of something much easier, way less complicated. A one paragraph addition.

So... whew. Ok, then. Thank you, James and Paul! Writer's Babbling Concludes.

Hi,

Love it.

MAF

You would start off with a POV switch...

ACK!!! I think I'm dying here... soooo waffy!! I love it!! *sigh*

Still got those tears in my eyes...

That right there is *great*!!

It's right here at this moment, CC, that you should be bloody proud of yourself for reaching such an emotional level to make me cry tears of happiness at a fictional story... it's not anymore. Fictional. That's how real it is.

Just two things: and

Bawling like a big baby again...

Might come back for more intelligent comments later... but I have to calm down a bit first.

Sara

Glad I could help, CC.

Do we get to see the new paragraph, or do we need to wait for the archive version?

Oh, and while I'm writing... Kind of OT, but thought I'd take a sec...

For those interested, there's an old book by Isaac Asimov called "The End of Eternity." It deals with a company which puts up an innocuous front, but which is secretly monitoring the timestream and sending agents around to fix things. Their goal is to achieve utopia by making changes to the past. (Don't get me wrong, BTW -- CC's story is very different and, frankly, much better).

Some of the ideas put forth by the book are that even small changes to the past can have unpredictable effects and that utopia breeds stagnancy.

Unfortunately, the plot centers around an iterative closed temporal loop with no possible entry point and also involves a period of future time which, despite all the changes being made to the past, somehow manages to remain static.

I'm mentioning it mostly because it's the book that got me to think about things like option 2 above. Going back to fix your own mistakes can, in the long run, really mess things up worse than they were before, and repeatedly mucking about with the timestream can have similarly disasterous results.

Hmm. That was kind of longer than I'd meant it to be. Sorry. Anyway, it's an interesting read and kind of pertinent to the subject at hand, so I thought I'd share. <shrug>

Paul

Okay, I'm back. And it's because this comment folder made my jawdrop, literally, more than a few times!

Hazel, that is just great! Wow. And, CC, like the bagel thing... if this wasn't your original plan, just pretend it was.

My point here now is to embarrass myself further, throw out as many ideas as I can so that CC can make her enigmatic comments on how brilliant all these ideas are, and that one of them is right. That way... I can sit and ponder endlessly which one it might be.

Oh... Yes, I'd quoted one more thing of Hazel's for a reason... *ahem* The reset button... Here I was at the end of the section, watching Madge look at the lifelines dwindling... and for some crazy odd reason, I was expecting the lifelines to spike dramatically because... Well, you know, L&C are up in the attic...

And on to Chris's comments:

This is one thing I've been trying not to even contemplate because it's just so... impossible to figure out why! I admire you, Chris, for even attempting it. I do have one thought on that, though... and I'm hoping dearly that I'm right... Lois and Clark arrive back in their time later because this way they keep their memories. If they arrive at the same time or just before they left (like in Tempus Fugitive), everything's gone. But if they come back later... well, here's hoping that this is what saves their memories, or at least some of them.

And touching on something the other Chris said:

Well, here's my theory (since it does seem to be reccomended that you have at least *some* kind of theory on something while reading this story... good form and all that...): This story is just going to end. Abruptly. *Then* CC is going to start posting the sequel: "Just Kidding... You Guys Seriously Thought I'd Kept It to 18 Parts? I'm. So. Smug. But. Going. Into. Hiding. Now."

Yes, it's a long title, but hey, it's the sequel!! ) expectations, but just look at what you've done! *This* is what I'd hoped the class would be like! You've created (and expounded upon) a true utopia. Now look at all the discussions you've inspired. Pros. Cons. Paradoxes. Just everything under the sun. It's like I've taken a utopia class twice in one semester and I feel just so smart to have all this extra knowledge and theory swimming around inside my brain! I feel priveledged!

And moving on...

Paul!!!! I'm... what's that word? GOBSMACKED! Really. I was reading your post and thinking along and drawing my own conclusions blindly... then yours smacked right into me without warning! How smart is that?! OMG! I'm with TJ on this one... CC, if you already had this planned, you're even more of a genius than I thought!! And HUGE kudos to Paul for coming up with that one on his own! How great is that?!

And that concludes my way too long fdk on (not even my own!) fdk. For now.

Have I mentioned that you're a brilliant genius and I love you, CC?

Sara

From "Tempus Fugitive", Tempus' own words to describe (yawn) Utopia:

Quote

Tempus: A world of peace, a world with no greed or crime, a world so boring, you'd blow your brains out, but there are no guns. You want to know the future, miss Lane? No one works, no one argues, there are 9000 channels and nothing on!

You know, I used to be a teacher, and one of things you notice is group dynamics. Put five people in a room, all of them leaders, and yet one will rise to the top and lead the group.

Take five brilliant students, with no discipline problems and put them in a room. One of them will be the cut-up of the class.

Take 100 John Smiths, put them in Utopia...one of them will get bored and try to stir things up!

<-- has no words

I meant to note as I was BRing that I must be the only dodo who doesn't universally recognize a "bear claw" as the ultimate pastry. I'm actually highly food-oriented, and yet, I have to stop and think "now what does a bear claw look like?" every time I see it. I figured "danish" was generic or something....since they wouldn't know what a 'bagel with a shmear' is in Utopia (low cholesterol society that it's become). Just another indication that I've fallen into cultural left field....

Oh, and, yeah...the race against time is on! Go good guys! (Well, except L&C--you stay upstairs where you belong.) This is, of course, wonderful.

Sherry

What else is there to say??!

Awesome! Love Lois and Clark's conversation and the sweet smoochies (ok sometimes I only have one thing on my mind..sue me!).

I had figured that it was Tempus in that bag and I wouldn't put it past you to have faked us out.

I also see how this whole adventure will change Utopia so fundamentally yet for the better. Lois' changed perspective was so natural and real in this story. Knowing her like we do, we can really see her 'grow up' and shoulder the responsibilities that she knows she'll have without running screaming in the other direction b/c it involves real commitment to another person! (sorry, run on sentence).

I will miss this story when it's done. I always say that at the end of all your fics CC and then you write another that is so brilliant

~Liz

Well, sorry everyone, but in part one (where all the clues are) it appears that when they return, the old amnesia is bound to kick in:

And in the end of WTWFO
(S P O I L E R S
P
O
I
L
E
R
S (if you haven't read WTWFO)


from the impromptu press conference:

And the ritual at the very end:

S P O I L E R S -if you haven't read the fic:
P
O
I
L
E
R
S
So CC if you can find a way to paint yourself out of the corner that is WTWFO you're an absolute absolute genius!

Because from what I can see, Lois and Clark return a little bit later than when they left, and while there may be a bit of "soul memory" left from their travels, they don't have a clue that they're going to create any kind of Utopia!

Personally, I like option 2, in fact, I think that I will use that in the story I'm working on....(tease...tease)

And Paul, I read the End of Eternity book, fascinating yet disturbing. And now I know exactly how to proceed with another aspect of the aforementioned fic.

Looking forward to the new paragraph. Please insert it on the boards,(hint hint)

James, 's advocate for all things temporal...

Again, glad to help with the locker, which I know you are going to resolve soon...

And at least now I know why I have been so sore lately...

Expecting the next part eagerly

Jose

Just a quick post before I rush out the door (my sister's in the early early stages of labor, and will probably deliver tomorrow morning. With all the family members to juggle, it was only just decided that I should go in to say hi now, go back home for the night, and then come back tomorrow).

1. Glad you guys liked the FH idea, Sara and TJ. Like I said, I doubt it'll happen (if I'd thought it was likely, I wouldn't have posted to spoil things), but I thought it'd be fun if it did.

2. Chris, I already said that I personally think their memories will have to be wiped, but I don't think you can say they definitely will. Just because that's what happened in the original timeline doesn't mean it's what has to happen the next time around. If they have some of their memories left, if they remember feeling close, some things may change when they get home. Not saying that's what will happen, but it's possible.

3. It only just occured to me to ask -- Where the heck did Hank and Petal get a burlap sack? They wouldn't have gone with one prepared, and there sure as heck wouldn't be any being produced in prehistoric Dakota. Did they go back to get it, did Tempus have it in his cave for some reason, or what?

Okay, gotta go now. Be back tonight, I think.

Paul

CC

WOW, WOW, WOW!

Tricia

Paul,
You asked about the burlap sack and I may have an answer, or at least a suggestion.

We know that the peacekeepers sent Tempus to Pre-Historic South Dakota but that they also supplied him with basic necessities.

Now, all the basic food stuff could have been left in burlap sacks just so Tempus won't have any chance of using any kind of buckle or zipper or anything to construct a new time machine.

Avia (starting to count-down the minutes till CC posts)

I'm late, I'm late for a very important date (with this feedback thread...)

CC, just want to let you know that I'm gushing along with everyone else. And, along with loving every word of this section, I absolutely adored that wonderful scene with L&C. But you knew that I would, didn't you?

Looking forward to the next. I said from the start that they'd have to have their memories wiped, and I still think so, but part of me I hopes not...

Kathy

This is just a quick reply, but I'll be back later to dig in.

First of all, thank you! Loving these comments and the give and take. Really wonderful.

Second, avia has it exactly right. In fact, I picked a burlap bag because it was as low-tech a container as I could imagine. Leave Tempus with a paper clip, a zipper, whatever, and you're just flirting with disaster.

Third, I said I could do it in one paragraph. Didn't quite make it. Also, what I thought would work, and be simpliest, had too much of a domino effect on everything that followed. So, I went with a variation of Paul's option two. And I really think it makes the piece much richer. You guys tell me, though.

I'll insert it into part 16, but also put it here:

Last thing. And this is for Chris.

What do you make of this, then?

Lois's pov WtWFO:

And from part 15:

Just saying... food for thought.

Thank you, everyone. More later. Part 17 is in the works.

CC

Food for thought indeed, CC! Very... interesting.

As for your addition, I like it. At first I thought that, given the crisis she's facing, the destruction of all they'd cared for and everything they knew, she'd say damn ethics and doing the right thing and whatever Superman would have done - these are lives going to be snuffed out. Just as if they'd never existed. And yet... and yet.

But would she be able to hold her head up high - would she be able to face Hank - knowing there was something she could have done? I wonder. So maybe just a thought of the temporal chaos which might result? After all... resurrecting the dead. In a way, Superman did it twice. (And, if you count the movie universe, and there's no reason at all why you should, he really did it there. ).

So maybe... the thought that messing about with time to that extent could create destruction even worse than that which Tempus's actions are already about to create? I don't know.


Wendy

I just started reading this yesterday and managed to get myself all caught up, although it wasn't difficult at all to keep my interest. I absolutely love it!

I don't want to be redundant so I will just point out one thing that I don't think has been said. There are obviously many things said about Utopia and its flaws. I agree with all of them, but one other thing has stuck out in my mind when reading all of this. When anyone refers to the founders, they say Lois Lane and Superman. Everything is about Superman. I can understand that, he's the hero, they were his ideals that everything is based on. But I don't think Clark would necessarily like that. He is always so adamant that Clark Kent is who he is and Superman isn't entirely real. I know he has a problem with the Superman craze because it puts pressure on him and he's so humble and modest, but I'm suprised he wasn't worried about the fact that he has been pushed to the side in favor of his 'creation'.

It's a magnificent story, don't get me wrong. I'm absolutely in love with it! (I'm kind of mad at myself for caving in and starting to read it before it was finished though, now I have to wait like everyone else ) This isn't even that important, just an observation I thought I'd point out.

I'm eagerly awaiting the rest of the story! You are amazing!

~Kristen

I like it. It does make it richer. Very cool.

OTOH, I agree with Wendy that it might be nice to mention damage to the timestream, too. Paradoxes resulting from the fact that she went back to that point because she'd seen the bones from later. The injunction against fixing your own mistakes. Something along those lines.

But then, adding in other concerns takes away from the focus on raising the dead, which is a pretty big deal. Huge temptation to a time traveller, and something generally considered to be Very Evil.

Also, obviously, different ideas/reasons work better for different people. We all have our own perspctives, and since it's your story, yours is the ones that counts most.

So... I don't know. It works quite well as it is. Might work a bit better if you threw in a nod to the other issues. An extra sentence or so between these two:

"An act that was so unethical as to be nearly unspeakable. Unthinkable."

OTOH, that does kind of lessen the impact her dilemma, doesn't it? Save Utopia by breaking one of the most fundamental ethical rules of her job, or let it all come apart when one deceptively simple action could solve everything? That is a very neat little insert, and adding in paradoxes and other rules would only confuse the issue and make the choice a little too easy.

Okay, then. What you have didn't immediately strike me as the best way to go, but, upon reflection, I'm thinking that it is. Sorry to give up one of my pet ideas (Go, little idea! Go run! Go play! You're free! <sniffle>), but I think what you've got is actually better. I was coming at it from a technical angle, but what you have is something that solves the issue while adding character depth. Go you!

Paul

I like the added part.

Only thing, Madge seems to be doing a lot of shifting uncomfortably.

It's the end of the world. Wouldn't you be fidgeting, too?

Paul

I'm going to be sorry when this over. And I'm so indebted to you all; I think after we wrap this up, we should get together at my house for a bbq. How does that sound? Because have I mentioned...? I love you people!

Ok. Here we go.

A major, recurring theme:

Of course I have no comment.

Ditto on the no comment. But so well put!

From Wendy and KathyB:
Love this! First of all, my apologies to any and all Robert Smiths. But when I was trying to think of the flatest, least interesting name a man could have, this was it. Though, given KathyB's brilliant Tempus-theories, he was very nearly Robert Brown. Robert Lane Brown, maybe? Kinda like it.

Speaking of brilliant theories, this folder was full of them!

Loooooove that. And you know, might try to work that in. In a few, very vague, toss away lines, because it's so good. Maybe just have a Revelation Bagel in the display case...

And, good heavens, this:

Who else thinks we're might be staring at the sequel? Not written by me, mind you. But one possible sequel inside one time loop written by our Hatman. Run with it, Paul! Like the wind! I'll BR. It'll be fun!!

That little time-travel glitch and Madge's unwillingness to raise the dead:

Ah. I thought of that Wendy. And I'm glad you did, too, since it gives me a chance to remark on this:

This made me smile ear to ear. Yes! In the Superman movie he did manipulate time to raise the dead, and when he did, it was Jor-el's voice telling him not to. In this piece, I've tried to draw as many lines between Madge and Jor-el as possible. Both of them watching over the end of their worlds, both linked to Clark, both burdened enormously.

Anyway, I liked the idea of Madge having her hands tied by ethics she just couldn't break. Also, I think this is what forever puts the Peacekeepers at disadvantage to Tempus. They may get wiser and better at handling him, but they are still good and ethical. They are handicapped in ways he is not.

Another really juicy one:

Welcome, Kristen! And this is so smart. I've really debated this back and forth.

For early Clark Kent, the one who arrives in Utopia, this aspect of being Superman/CK hasn't really happened. Since he's only been Supes the one time, he doesn't have a sense of how the Supes persona will take over. That Lois will come to love the caped hero, in preference to her working partner. The dicotomy isn't there yet. So, that's one thing.

Also, I think this issue is resolved for him later in his life, when he knows he really is both.

And last, if I can ramble on a bit more, the final element is the idea that the family has taken pains to keep something of the man off-limits. Superman and his legend belong to the world, but Clark Kent was still a father, a husband, a person. Perhaps by his wishes, part of who he really was has been kept private.

Try that on and see if that works, though. Your point is really valid.

Last things because I've talked all day.

LOL! And yes. That's a pretty predictable pattern now, isn't it?

She's got that 'The World's Ending and I Can't Quite Get Comfortable' thing happening. But I'll recheck that, rivka!

Thank you so much, everyone! I know I'm a broken record, but this is just the most fun ever. And I can't say how much I've appreciated your generous attention!

CC

Back again with comments on comments...

Ooh!!! )

ROFLMAO! Oh, I'd love to see that!

Okay, back to refreshing compulsively until part 18 magically appears on my screen...


Wendy