Okay, so not a cheery story... but I liked it anyway. There is an immediacy to the scene you paint. It's great and packs a punch.

We have the father choosing to save his kids... twice, and Superman choosing to do as the father asks. You've managed to say an awful lot in not many words.

Of course, now I want to know what happens to the kids, themselves, and how Superman will live with the choice he made.

Oh, and I'm not kidding when I say you are going to have to change your nick.

Chris

)

That was awesome. I loved how you pulled me into the scene and then experience what was going on. I really felt like I was seeing things from this poor guy's perspective.
The whole things was great. I hope to see more stuff from you in the future.

yes YOU ARE A WRITER NOW

I love the story, sad but i love it anyway

karla

Oh, David, you didn't really think you'd get away with posting a story like this on the boards and swearing you're not a writer, did you?

I really loved this Such an original take, and as TJ has said, it really made you see things from the guy's perspective. And, of course, an unHEA ending to round it all off

Soooo... I'm ready for story #2... any day now... you could even post it in time for my birthday...

Sorcha

Not a writer, my foot! Nice perspective on the story. We may just have to nag, er, encourage you to write more often!


Jen

Hey David

So threats of me convinced you to post, huh? Excellent work, Sara, Jenni and Kae! Keep it up!

Ditto Chris absolutely, David. Very nicely done indeed - short, but packed full of emotion, meaning and anguish. You do a terrific job of showing just enough and leaving the reader to piece together the rest. A heartbreaking choice for Superman, of course; and, of course, the father's first thought is for his kids, even in the midst of his own pain and fear.

Well, this better be the first of many, you hear??


Wendy

Powerful story, David! Great job. I'm glad you posted it ... and you are definitely an author!

Kathy

David

A great story! Extremely well-written! I look forward to reading more of your stories.

Tricia

When I realised this morning that I had fdk I just about flipped, and then when I realised who'd given me fdk, I did!

/me talks himself down. I'm cool. I'm calm.

I'm collected.

*Ahem*

Thanks for the fdk


Yes, the threat of telling Wendy forced my hand - I knew she'd tell me to post. Who can say 'no' to Wendy? :p


Another story? More?

Uh... the dog ate my keyboard!

/me should have known he couldn't get away with posting one and riding off at midday because he couldn't wait for sunset


I might be persuaded - which actually means I'm already halfway there, have thought of a premise and started planning - but someone owes me a completed WIP first. *cough*Giggles*cough*


It's a good thing Sorcha didn't say which birthday

/me promises to write a lighter one *if* he ever writes another.

- David (ApparantlyAWriterNow)

I had to read this with my hands over my eyes.

Hey David! You posted it! YAY!
Did I tell you I think your writing is great? I did, didn't I? I really like your writing...more would be greatly appreciated!

What they said! It's wonderful and very well-written.

MORE!!!!

AnnaBtG.

Oh, wow... this was so beautiful and so so sad! This was such a great, emotionally-driven piece and I was just in awe as I read through it! Pretty much ditto everything everyone has said-- I can't say enough!!

Great work!

~Nicole

Whoa, how did I miss this one?

Very powerful. Very real. Great choice, keeping it all in the father's head. How often do we get a glimpse of how others see Superman? Red boots, the end of a cape = save my kids... wow.

And yes, David, you are undoubtedly doomed. We all want MORE!

Hazel

Ditto what everyone has said.

Great POV!

digging this thread out from out of the depths
I've never thought of a rescue this way but it just makes me get goosebumps.

Anyway, I just wanted to leave some feedback as well: Great story although I would have loved to read an end as well