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Posted By: LMA FDK - Hurt Before 2/? by bakasi - 07/17/14 09:12 PM
Thought I'd go ahead and start a feedback thread smile

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I was really looking forward to the next part, Bakasi--and you sure did not disappoint! Very intriguing chapter clap

Ah--so now we know why Clark is looking into Lex...somehow he thinks that Lex is responsible for Lana's death. Interesting! Very curious as to what happened to Lana? Did it happen during/after Lex's lecture at Midwestern U? Feel so bad for Clark--having to deal with the death of someone he cared a lot about, feeling possibly responsible, trying to right the situation and not being able to. He's been through a lot--makes sense why he's a bit cautious of Lois.

Like Martha said though...I hope he gives this girl a chance smile

Looking forward to part 3! Great story dance
Laura
Posted By: VirginiaR Re: FDK - Hurt Before 2/? by bakasi - 07/17/14 10:41 PM
Yikes! Clark blames Lex for Lana's death?! AND he suspects Lex knows about his secret?

I am a bit confused about what was going on between Clark and Lana. The first part showed that Lana had broken Clark's heart, a scene which I assumed was set in high school. Yet, here in the second part, Clark is on the cusp of dating her, while they're at college. If he knows Lex enough for the billionaire to stop by the farm, why didn't he mention that to Lana? dizzy Isn't that backwards? With Lana's obsession with Lex, I wouldn't be surprised if Lex stole Lana from Clark (at the speech perhaps) and then something happened afterwards due to that incident and Clark blames Lex for it (as opposed to Lex having actually killed Lana on purpose). But that's a wait and see.

Seeing Lois obsessed with getting a Lex interview could give Clark deja vu and worry about Lois ending up the same way. Would it make Clark more protective of Lois or make him want to brush his hands of her, so that his heart won't be hurt again? I'm guessing the former.

I too hope he gives Lois a chance.
Posted By: DebbieG Re: FDK - Hurt Before 2/? by bakasi - 07/18/14 02:38 AM
Very interesting threads you're weaving around Lex, Lana, and Clark. I'm looking forward to seeing where it all goes.
Posted By: bakasi Re: FDK - Hurt Before 2/? by bakasi - 07/18/14 06:23 PM
Thank you very much for your feedback. dance

@Virginia: it's June 1988 in Smallville and March in MidU.

I admit it's a bit complicated. blush
Posted By: Morgana Re: FDK - Hurt Before 2/? by bakasi - 08/03/14 05:53 PM
Reading this story makes me realize just how much further I have to go as a writer. Each scene is crafted with such care and insight this reader actually feels like a 'fly on the wall'.

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Clark sighed and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes for a moment. He knew that sooner or later he needed to make a decision. Coming to Metropolis had seemed like a good idea at the time – he was not so sure anymore. This city was just too much. There was always someone crying for help, always some minor or major disaster that begged for his attention. The harder he fought to ignore this ever present noise the worse it got. Clark’s conscience would not let him turn a deaf ear to all this pain, enhancing every single cry a million times until he hardly slept anymore.

This Clark is very different from canon. He is impatient and not sure if Metropolis is where he wants to be. In the pilot he knew this city was going to be his home. A lot of that would definitely have to do with his lodgings. Living on the edge like that would depress anyone.

He's also building up quite a file on Lex. cool He knows that man is bad news even before putting on the suit! This story is awesome!

Quote
Jonathan Kent visibly relaxed in his chair. It pained Clark to even imagine his parents might feel threatened by him. He felt sick to his stomach as he looked at his mother, who he had almost attacked, if only in words. He shrunk in on himself and dug his hands deep into the pockets of his trousers. His mother on the other hand remained where she was, one hand on his shoulder, completely unfazed. In her presence, Clark often felt as if he had no superpowers at all. His mother was so much stronger.

It is so unusual to even imagine Martha and Jonathan afraid of their son. Love how Martha is referred to as being superhuman, although many of us FoLCs consider her Supermom!

Yeah Clark, give this Lane woman a chance ....


Posted By: bakasi Re: FDK - Hurt Before 2/? by bakasi - 08/04/14 03:50 PM
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Reading this story makes me realize just how much further I have to go as a writer. Each scene is crafted with such care and insight this reader actually feels like a 'fly on the wall'.

Wow, thank you, Morgana, that's quite the compliment. I'm always nervous about the effect my story has on the reader. Glad you lik it.
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