Comments: Assembly required - Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards

Any thoughts?

So an early attempt at time travel affected his psyche to such a degree that things would never be the same. I haven't seen very many origin stories for Tempus so this was an enjoyable one.

Loved it! And the digs at IKEA and stationary bicycles were spot-on.

Quote

He switched it on and a moment later screamed as he felt a jolt of electricity frying synapses in his brain. The world tilted, and a moment later he found himself on the floor, convulsing.

It was almost ten minutes before he could move on his own.

Well he DID set it for 10 minutes into the future... What is he complaining about

?

Quote

John Tempus swore eternal vengeance on the IKEA company, with their unreadable instructions and promises of parts that wouldn’t fall into crevices and cause disaster.

God I laughed at that line

Loved it!

Mike

Quote

Assembly required

Hmm…someone drop Lois from Lex’s balcony?

Quote

In Utopia, time travel had never been particularly popular. The present was perfect, the reasoning went, so why bother going to the past?

The future, by contrast wasn’t any different from the present, so it wasn’t very entertaining either, other than for the temporary novelty of meeting yourself.

Oh my. No wonder Tempus wants to blow out other people’s brains.

Quote

Unfortunately, he hadn’t realized that even fifty years before there had still been devices sold assembly required. Apparently the company had thought that the adventurous types who wanted to go back in time would be more than willing to put the device together themselves.

And we all know how clumsy Utopians are.

Quote

He stood up and slid into the seat. The thing was designed to look like a stationary bicycle; something he was assured from his reading was quite common in the era he was going to. It had the advantage of being something that was often purchased but almost never used.

Quote

The fact that later models had gotten cynical and included hanger for clothing hadn’t helped the confusion.

Quote

The button was there; he hesitated, then set the program for ten minutes in the future.

[…]

It was almost ten minutes before he could move on his own.

Quote

Any reasonable person would submit themselves to the caregivers to be examined;

They have professional caregivers in the future?

Quote

Yet somehow he didn’t go to the caregivers. For the first time he didn’t want to do what society asked of him.

Oooh! The birth of Tempus

Quote

John Tempus swore eternal vengeance on the IKEA company, with their unreadable instructions and promises of parts that wouldn’t fall into crevices and cause disaster.

Quote

He wouldn’t be the only one who got screwed.

Another hilarious piece!

Michael

Did someone have a long weekend with a new piece of furniture? I wonder.

Boy, no wonder Tempus wanted to leave town. What an apathetic bunch those Utopians seem. All obsessed with Superman and have no interest in a history which doesn't involve themselves.

I wonder if it WAS a time travel device, or whether it was just a assemble yourself exercise bike which he set for 10 minutes... wrongly. Either way, very funny.

Obviously Tempus never played with Legos

To understand IKEA instructions, one must first be thoroughly conversant in Lego.

But how can you call it Utopia if IKEA is still turning out bad instructions? Maybe Tempus has a point…

Bwhahahaha! IKEA gave us shoddy furniture and the best villain in the L&C universe. Perfect!

Well to be fair the device WAS 50 years old when Tempus attempted to put it together...

Quote

Unfortunately, he hadn’t realized that even fifty years before there had still been devices sold assembly required. Apparently the company had thought that the adventurous types who wanted to go back in time would be more than willing to put the device together themselves.

However I did bust out laughing when I read the IKEA line in the story. My wife looked at me funny so I had to try to explain (she is NOT an Lois and Clark fan, she only occasionally watched the series back in the 90's to humor me).

Mike

Well, you know, he did have at least one screw loose.

*grins, ducks, and runs for dear life*

Highly amusing, Shayne!

Holy cow, this is hilarious!
Everybody else already quoted the best lines so I'll just say that I was laughing hysterically.

Really?!! IKEA must have improved their instructions over the centuries. The time is lost but I end up frustrated, furious AND dazed when I'm done.

Great story.

Very cute! And I LOL'd at the "something called Snooki" line!