My turn - I'm starting this one!! OR FDK: In a Better Place 9

some number that keeps changing, huh, CC? Keep adding on, make this story longer, I don't mind...

OK, I've just read this quickly, so I need to read it at least twice more, slowly, savoring it all.

But I loved it. Every single word. Clark silently recognizing the pull that Lois has on Silas. Hank and Elise. Petal being so excited about meeting Tempus.

*And* the whole bit with the Departure Room. The fact that Clark knew instantly how Lois would react, and just barely made a move before she did. Clark's knowledge that his reactions to the thought of his future with Lois are very different from hers. And this:

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“A happy life,” Clark repeated aloud, not really meaning to. He looked over at the woman next to him, at the hand folded in his. He had no memory of reaching for it, though he must have. Their hands looked right together, felt right together, intertwined as they were.

Beautiful.

But surely Clark has to realize that somehow they'll have to find their way back. Otherwise, how could these past 200 years even be chronicled, if they never lived them in the first place? Of course, he doesn't know about the falling lifelines, and the fact that maybe everything will just wink out...

Awesome...

Kathy

You know, CC, I don't remember reading too many stories that have dealt with "Utopia" and what it might look like. It's been reference upteenth times, but there are few stories where it's actually described.

You've really thought alot about certain things..

"The Departure Room"? How many of us would actually walk in that room?? It was very interesting to ponder.

So Silas hasn't told L & C anything about Tempus yet, and Madge is all set to confront him.

Interesting....

and it's nice to know that your story length is a moving target....

the feedback folders alone are like a mini-novel.

How great it must be to inspire that many readers to leave feedback....you're my heroine, CC!

To Tuesday.

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“He’s not the only villain here,” said Hank darkly. “If I’d had my way last year, we would have had Herb locked up. Or at least under house arrest. That way, when we needed him, like now, we’d have him.”

Huh, I never really thought about Wells that way before. But it's true. Even people with the best intentions often result in stirring up things.

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“You won’t find Jonathan or Martha Kent impersonators,” Silas blurted immediately. “They’re true heroes, but during his lifetime Clark Kent felt strongly their privacy should be respected, even long after he and they were gone.”

Ah, no wonder. Good because I had all these crazy, horrible 'what-ifs' shooting around my head.

And oh Lord, the HEA versus the Departure Room argument. I was sucked right in. I felt like I was standing next to them in the room. Lois, why in the world do you want to know how you died?! Quite frankly, I don't side with either of them. They really shouldn't see either room if they want to argue that there's some things they shouldn't know. But heck, I'm first on the list of natural curiosity, so I would have charged right into the HEA room...but death?

Poor Silas LOL! I did wonder, though, if he would have recognized the way Lois and Clark fight...they're so...intense, I would assume it's a family trait passed on, or nonetheless something talked about over the years...

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In fact,” Silas said, just a touch too casually, “I was thinking of giving Nate a call. Seeing if he’d like to come... meet... you both.”

Oh really? What's that about? Kicking them out? Or does Silas see something more to it? Or maybe I'm just in overdrive, and I'm reading too much into it.

Interesting, interesting. I wonder what's going to happen with Tempus. You better believe I'll be tuning in Tuesday.

JD

Moooooree!!!!!

Excellent, excellent..

That irresistable Lois charm, love how she knows that she can manipulate Silas into talking. LOL and Clark hearing his tripped up heartbeat and thinking that it must be a family trait.

Poor Hank, he must be scared out of his wits. I love how he is just soaking in Elise with all that love and hope..

This Madge/Tempus confrontation should be awesome..hope they don't end up being tricked somehow. And where in the heck is Wells? Boy won't he be upset that he's missed all this 'excitement'!

Tuesday it is..

~Liz

PS. not even touching the 'Departure Room' /me shivers..yikes

And once again, I'm in that quandry of "why, oh why, did I hover around hitting refresh to read this part because now I have to wait a full 48 hours --ack, 72 hours this time!!! -- to get the next section??"

Gosh, that was good. You could just take everything KathyM said and paste it here ... it must be the name. Like her, I loved every word.

I am so curious about Silas and his connection to Lois, and I loved how Clark recognized it in him. And you did a good job of showing Silas as a very bright and capable but very young and confused man as he kept trying to figure out the merry-go-round that is Lois and Clark. His (paraphrased) "you seem normal, kind of, but then you lose it" was great, as was his thought of calling his big brother to help him deal with them. I'm liking him more and more with each passing part.

Loved L&C's conversation about The Departure Room (you nailed them both, as well as Silas's reaction to them), and Hank and Elise (am I the only one who was looking for hints of Lois in everything Elise does?)

And then Madge and Petal (and Andrus-who-no-longer-makes-brownies) trying to smoke out Tempus!! What a twist and I can't wait to see how it plays out! (BTW, the weapons discussion was brilliant, too -- yes, Tempus would be gleeful if Utopia resorted to such means to get him, yet I'm still finding myself thinking that maybe it's only his methods that are off, not his beliefs.)

Feel free to keep adding parts, CC ... I'm enjoying this too much to ever want it to end.

Kathy (Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday ... where the heck is that damn time criminal Wells with his blasted machine so I can get it sooner?)

Yep.

What they said.

Me tired

PJ

I'll just ditto that! Wonderful! More soon. Laura

And ditto again. It's a long haul to Tuesday.

Artemis

ARGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

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“I told you we should have had him declared a criminal. An enemy of the state.” Hank marched into the room and threw the latest committee report onto the table between them.

GRRR!!! Just like Yvonne!! POV switch!!

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“Long, senseless meeting in which it was once again concluded that no one can find HG Wells anywhere. That man has vanished.”

LOL!!!! HG Wells was who he wanted to declare enemy of the state??

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Every one at the Ministry felt it. It was a ghostly presence over the entire operation. But not one else was married to a family member. No one else went home after a long, hopeless day, and stood outside their home and wondered... if the person they loved most in the world... still existed.

OH!!!!!!!!!!!! That's so sad!!!!!!

(and... that's "no one else..." not "not"

)

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“The smoke...?” She pulled away, looking offended. “Very funny. There’s no- oh, shoot! That dish was going to be edible, Hank, I swear!”

LOL!!! That's so cute!! And so great!! So Elise got Lane cooking genes and Kent singing genes? <G>

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But the idea of actually doing it, of actually holding a weapon of any sort on Tempus curdled her blood. Because he would love it. And he would know, in the very instant, that he had won. Utopia, though still existing, would be defeated if any of them had to resort to violence to defend it.

WOW!! That's... deep... great insight...

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As for Hank, Madge wasn’t entirely confident he would see things as she did, that using violence against Tempus was anathema to everything Superman was. So, she had sent him home and left without his knowing.

He would be beyond furious with her in the morning, but it was her dearest wish that she could diffuse his anger by telling him her gamble had paid off, and all was finally well.

Awww! And here I thought she sent Hank home to be with Elise... not that little bit of subterfuge... but I understand.

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Madge didn’t even want to think about what would happen if he got lost... the time they would waste finding him...how tempted she would be to leave him behind...

“I put a signal on him,” Petal said, reading her mind, and proving to her, once again, why she was such a grand assistant. “It’s in his shoe.” She held up the signal tracker and showed her the moving, blinking light.

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

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“Very good. And now, let’s go see him, shall we?”

Hrmm... I get the idea you mean Tempus here... but last, we were talking about Andrus. Just thought I'd mention...

Overall... WOWIE!!!!! So... it's Tuesday already, right? /me checks the calendar... drat.

I wish I could sit here and be as insightful as Sheila... but she does it so much better, doesn't she? And besides, I'm kinda sleepy... it's almost 4 am.

Sara (who's wondering if she really *needs* sleep... there's writing to do...)

Yay!

All right, I fell off the face of the earth for the past few weeks and have just today caught up with this amazing story. And all I can say is "Wow!" Just...wow.

(I won't go into how much I'm beating myself up over having passed up the chance to beta this story simply because it would have been a cake-walk of a job and I would now know very smugly what is going to happen...)

Really, CC, this isn't part-specific, but general gushing. I love this premise. The whole idea of Lois and Clark in the place that they indirectly created, and the concept that perhaps Utopia is on the surface a wonderful place to be but maybe not so much if you are stuck there is inspired. You've proven that really, everything *hasn't* been done to death - that there are great ideas out there just begging to be explored.

Love the slow coming to awareness on both Lois and Clark's part about where they are. First that they aren't in the same Metropolis - and Lois's subsequent assumption that this is all Clark's fault, of course - and then the realization that this is the future. Having them meet one of their own descendants is brilliant, and I'm thoroughly enjoying Silas. I hope to see much more of him and suspect that maybe he becomes a critical element in rescuing these two from Utopia-Hell.

And I'm just sitting in awe over the cast of characters you've created to populate this world. Madge and Hank, Andrus and Petal. Wonderful people who keep me reading intently. Such a fully fleshed-out world. Although, I do admit to wanting to see some more of Tempus simply because you do him so well. I can hear his voice when I read his dialogue.

Which leads me to mention that this story seems to include a bit more introspection than the usual CC masterpiece, and I want to tell you that I think you've struck the perfect balance. Not too much thought but enough that I really am feeling what Lois and Clark are feeling.

So far I have not had any problems with the amount of showing. I think in the places where you've skipped ahead, choosing to describe past actions, the decision is very appropriate, and I don't feel like I've missed anything at all. I have a very clear picture of where these two are and what is going on and what they are feeling. And I'm certainly sitting on the edge of my seat, anxious to find out what will happen next.

Fabulous!

Lynn

I had every intention of posting something original here. But I see I am too late (and I am tired and lazy

). So I will simply "ditto" this:

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Loved L&C's conversation about The Departure Room (you nailed them both, as well as Silas's reaction to them), and Hank and Elise (am I the only one who was looking for hints of Lois in everything Elise does?)

and this

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Instead of the Lois, Clark and Silas show, this part has been hijacked by Hank and Madge (with cameos from Andrus, Petal and Elise). Now, I like these guys... very much.

But I want the rest of that conversation with Silas!

and definitely this!

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Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday ... where the heck is that damn time criminal Wells with his blasted machine so I can get it sooner?

Well, there are certainly a lot of details supporting the story in this part. I'm already looking forward to the continuation of the Lois/Clark/Silas conversation because they simply rock

Wow. Amazing. Perfect. Brilliant.

Reading the feedback was just as much fun as the story itself. Ditto, ditto, ditto for most of the comments made by other FoLCs.

It's almost 2am over here so it's Tuesday already.

I'm going to bed now but Part 10 had better be there when I wake up, CC!

ARRRGHHH!!!!!! (I mean that in a nice way.)

More soon please!!!!

James

Big, fat thank yous to the KathysM&B, Chris, Jen, Jose, Liz, Pam, Laura, Artemis, Chris, Sara, Sherry, Lynn, Rivka, Bettina, Xanabee- welcome!, and James.

I appreciate your comments and simply knowing you're here and reading, still following.

Just a few things:

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still want to see Silas faint!!

And can you explain why he has that name?

Jose, I promise you a Silas fainting scene... soon-ish.

And I'm so glad you asked about the name. Silas Kent was an ancestor of Jonathan Kent. His letters and journals were found buried in Jonathan's yard a hundred years or more after his death. So, I liked the idea of using a really 'old' family name for a character who now lives a couple hundred years *after* Jonathan Kent.

And then this:

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Which leads me to mention that this story seems to include a bit more introspection than the usual CC masterpiece, and I want to tell you that I think you've struck the perfect balance.

Well... I kind of love that. I'm trying to remember if anyone has ever complimented my amount of introspection before and... nope. This is a first! Thank you, Lynn!

And now, a small story about this story and how it has grown, doubling in size, and do I hear snickering from a certain BR...?

Next week I travel across country to a convention-thingy I'm really excited about. I'll be gone a week, no laptop, no file. And when I started posting, that was going to work perfectly, since this story was ten parts long! Plenty of time to be finished, all posted, before I got on the plane.

A-hem.

Ok, so now it's a little longer than ten parts. The more cans I pry open, the more worms spring out. And they're too fun and juicy to ignore. I'm up to 200 pages and still going.

Here's our plan. I'll post this week, same as always, stopping with part 12, which is actually a nice resting place.

I'll be away a week. The following week I'll take some time to catch up, and catch up my really wonderful, hard working BRs. Then, I'll dump the rest out, and we'll finish this thing off.

Sorry for the delay. I won't make it one day more than necessary.

CC

A WEEK?

A WEEK?!?

*wheedles* Couldn't you leave a few parts with someone else to post? I'm sure someone will volunteer . . .

Forget it, I think she means to deprive us for TWO weeks !!!!!!!!!!

/me faints

~Liz

Yay, I'm probably the only one happy about that! I'll be gone too and was dreading missing the story parts! Sorry, the rest of you. So I'll be back to catch up when you start up again.

Artemis
off to New York to see the grandbaby before he becomes and adult