FDK: The Vampire Murders Part 4 - 12/11/11 04:57 PM
Claustraphobic tunnels and crypts, yikes several times over. I hope I'm not the only reader biting my nails while I squeek "GET OUT OF THERE!!!" 
TEEEEEJ
TEEEEEJ
Re: FDK: The Vampire Murders Part 4 - 12/11/11 06:09 PM
Is it just me or is it kind of strange that they are smuggling stuff into CostMart through a tunnel that has an obvious HOLE in it?
So is the tunnel kind-of H-shaped? Two tunnels, one modern, one ancient running esstentially parallel to one another? (just trying to get my bearings.) With the area of the collaspe where the horizontal arm of the H is? One tunnel leads to CostMart and one to this crypt? Sounds like CostMart did some cost cutting (bribing) when it came to their land survey if there was an ancient burial in this location.
Well, crypt.
Gee, that's kind of creepy in a story with vampires already in it. At least no coffins. Yikes!
So is the tunnel kind-of H-shaped? Two tunnels, one modern, one ancient running esstentially parallel to one another? (just trying to get my bearings.) With the area of the collaspe where the horizontal arm of the H is? One tunnel leads to CostMart and one to this crypt? Sounds like CostMart did some cost cutting (bribing) when it came to their land survey if there was an ancient burial in this location.
Well, crypt.
Gee, that's kind of creepy in a story with vampires already in it. At least no coffins. Yikes!
Re: FDK: The Vampire Murders Part 4 - 12/11/11 08:03 PM
A tunnel! Why do I think that the tunnel was *not* on the plans that CostMart submitted for its construction permit? 
Re: FDK: The Vampire Murders Part 4 - 12/13/11 02:26 PM
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When Clark wanted to be quiet, he was really quiet, which led her to wonder peripherally where he had learned it.
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In fact, it hadn't taken long before her (to be honest) contempt had faded to be replaced by reluctant, if unspoken, respect.
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Stone. Her mind registered the fact. Not dirt.
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"What's this? Some kind of subway tunnel or something?"
"I don't think so," Clark said. "Let's take a look around."
"I don't think so," Clark said. "Let's take a look around."
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The passage turned suddenly, ran on another hundred feet or so, and they were abruptly faced with a metal door, set in the stone. Lois carefully tried the doorknob.
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He shined the light on the door frame, revealing a small, black button.
"Doorbell," Lois said. "I guess we're supposed to ring for admittance. I don't think we'd better do that."
"Doorbell," Lois said. "I guess we're supposed to ring for admittance. I don't think we'd better do that."
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Do you suppose they could be smuggling in something?"
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It looked as if the construction were still in progress in this part of the tunnel. In several places the walls were literally dirt, and in one spot it appeared there had been a small collapse.
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They were trapped.
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The place where the fall of dirt had occurred was deeper and roomier than she had realized.
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and quite suddenly there was more room around them, and a musty smell that she couldn't identify.
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There must be one of the old, disused subway tunnels back here, after all. It looked as if Murphy was looking the other way for once.
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The floor was rough, carved stone, as if someone had chipped this narrow little tunnel out of the living rock.
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He pointed at the wall. "Looks like some kind of primitive drawings."
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"Didn't this area originally have an Indian tribe or something living here when the European settlers first came?"
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Half a dozen wrapped forms lay on wooden platforms, and the shape of the forms told her without doubt that the forms were human.
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"I guess we go back the other way," Clark said after a moment.
"Yeah," Lois agreed. "Come on."
"Yeah," Lois agreed. "Come on."
/shudders/
Michael
Re: FDK: The Vampire Murders Part 4 - 12/13/11 07:57 PM
nice concept, riveting, story is progressing nicely, not too fast, but not too slow either. enough suspense to keep me wanting more. at your earliest convenience please.
Re: FDK: The Vampire Murders Part 4 - 12/15/11 09:34 AM
I know I’m late to the party, but better late than never, right?
I’m such a sucker for Lois not seeing the forest for the trees. Especially when she’s doing it while giving Clark credit for being awesome in his own right. I like your line about her “reluctant, if unspoken, respect.”
I’m sorry I didn’t pull more excerpts. I was completely absorbed in their exploration of the tunnels. <g> I would imagine Cost Mart isn’t about to make those public because that would certainly shut down all their construction indefinitely.
On to 5!
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When Clark wanted to be quiet, he was really quiet, which led her to wonder peripherally where he had learned it.
I’m sorry I didn’t pull more excerpts. I was completely absorbed in their exploration of the tunnels. <g> I would imagine Cost Mart isn’t about to make those public because that would certainly shut down all their construction indefinitely.
On to 5!