Hi, Ken. Welcome to the boards.

To be honest, when I saw this I wasn’t sure how to react. I’m not used to seeing alternate-endings to stories. However, since none of the moderators have stepped in I’ll assume that you have not broken any unwritten rules of the boards. I thought about it and finally concluded that this isn’t very different than we do here all the time. If we can modify endings to episodes then how could we object to someone modifying one of the works posted here locally?

You cited Erin’s work and gave Erin appropriate credit for her idea and her own words, so there is nothing that I could call inappropriate in what you have posted. Did you make any effort to contact Erin before posting this? If I were going to provide an alt-ending to one of our stories, I would try to get the original author’s blessing before I posted my alternative. Just a suggestion…

Anyway, I noticed that it’s been several days with no feedback at all. I have been traveling and only saw your story today. I have to guess that some of the lack of reaction may be that many here don’t know how to react. This is different that what we normally see here. Still, I wanted to welcome you and provide my reactions to your story.

Like you, when I read “Accidental Husband,” I wanted Lois and Clark to stay married. It never occurred to me to write an alternate ending, but I agree with your idea for a “remain married” outcome.

I liked your courtroom scene. I agree that it had to be Lois that would have to make this happen. It was a small scene but I thought it was well done.

Overall I liked you ideas for the alternate ending. That caught me off guard. Now that is a WOW! ending.

Finally, I will say that the story read a little rough? What I struggled the most with was tense. The text seems to be a mixture of past and present tense. That makes for a choppy feel.

I usually write in past tense because I find present tense difficult to use. When I have used present, I tend to do it strictly from a 1st person POV. If I read it correctly, your story was written 3rd person. I suggest for your next work that if you are going to write 3rd person, you might try past tense.

Did you have a beta reader? These are the sorts of things (along with tons of grammar errors ) that my beta readers usually point out.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your ideas.
Bob

Oops, one more thing. When you post a “story” use the Blue Arrow to indicate a new part to read. In this area of the boards, the Yellow Folder is used for feedback.

Hi Bob:
Good points and well said. I had to reread Erin's story before I felt I would understand the alternate ending. I gave my feedback in a PM, but it said the same thing you did. I haven't heard a reply.
Hopefully Ken will continue to write.

Hi Ken:
If you would like to do an alternate to an LnC episode (which is what we do a lot of here), feel free to use the scripts posted from the link above the first page of this board. That is often a great help to a beginning writer. Be advised that some scripts are not identical to what was shot in the show.
Good luck
Artemis

I am with Artemis in that I had to go back and read the original story. That took a little time.

I thought the "alternate ending to an alternate ending" was a great idea!

Thanks for the feedback. I am just learning the protocols and didn't intentionally violate any. I have sent a note of apology to Erin for posting without her permission.

Does anyone have a current e-mail address for Erin Kingler? I tried her cableone address to no avail.

Hi Ken:
I found her profile here. Search directory under Post A Reply in the upper right of the page.
She goes by ErinK from "spuddy Idaho" (cute, eh?)
and her listed address here is :
erin@erinklingler.com

Artemis

Hi Ken

We all have a bit of a learning curve at first. I wouldn't stress about it. I think you've got some good ideas, and I hope you'll keep writing and keep posting.

I'm sorry you don't seem to have gotten my email last week, before you posted, Ken, where I made the same points as bobbart and did suggest that you email the author (at that time I didn't know which story you were talking about or which author when you mentioned that you'd just reworked a fanfic) before posting, just to be clear that they had no objection to your reworking their story.

Or perhaps you did get it and just missed my comment - given that you were primarily concerned with log-in problems during our conversation and your comment about the story was just an aside, it would probably have been easy enough to overlook it.

So, just for everyone's future reference - usually, we would definitely recommend that this is done before you post such a story - some authors will mind and some won't and it does save stepping unintentionally on toes. It's not a hard and fast rule, just considered good etiquette, as I said before. If for no more reason than in the past we have had the occasional author who would go a tad ballistic at the very notion. Some authors have, in the past, been flattered by the idea and others have been offended at the idea their story would 'need to be fixed'. You never can tell which response you'll get. It just helps to avoid trouble and hurt feelings if it's headed off at the pass in advance.

Having said that, I think you're probably safe with Erin. She's not likely to send you scorpions in the post or anything.

I've added the blue arrow to your story post.

LabRat

I have been in contact with Erin and have received her blessing.