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Posted By: Female Hawk FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/25/09 07:57 PM
Feedback here.

Thanks smile
Posted By: Rac Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/25/09 09:18 PM
After all the black suit, perfumed cream, and bed sharing descriptions, I'm not sure if my mind is in the gutter, or if Lois's is, so good work on that one. wink

Excellent descriptions of Kal's emotional awakening. Painful emotions seem to come part and parcel with becoming aware of the good feelings - Lois didn't just teach him how to smile, she taught him how to cry, too. Fear and hope. Happiness and despair. As ruler to a small, troubled population, Kal probably has plenty of fodder for future emotional experiences, to boot.

I'm still a bit puzzled by how it is that Kal seems completely...ignorant doesn't seem like the right word, perhaps unaware... of the whole birds and bees business. It seems from our tiny sliver sized views of Tek's life that Kryptonians know love, lust, and attraction, but manage to keep these feelings both deeply private and unnamed. And Kal isn't suffering from an attachment disorder - he's not incapable of love, he in fact displays plenty of the compassion and generosity of spirit that make the emotion of love possible. So what is it that was separating him from--what is for Earth humans--the biological imperatives of love and attraction?

I'm looking forward to reading more of this excellent and intriguing story.

Regards,

Rac
Posted By: Laurach Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/25/09 10:08 PM
Yes what she said. I am riveted to this story. I love the characters here and the way you are taking us to love a little tease at a time. They've come far in a short time but I know Nor is going to get in the way of things in a big way. I am not looking forward to his part of the story. I am looking forward to more of the kissing and hugging in bed and also the communication. Lois needs to understand that he doesn't really belong to Zara and Kal needs to understand that her love for him is unique. I am looking forward to finding out how you will unravel the rest of the story. Laura
Posted By: TOC Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/26/09 12:08 AM
Rac said:
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After all the black suit, perfumed cream, and bed sharing descriptions, I'm not sure if my mind is in the gutter, or if Lois's is, so good work on that one.
You are teasing us, Corinna. Hmmm. You have said that there will be no nfic scenes. I agree with Rac, it's almost impossible not to think of... well... when you end the chapter like that, and yet it won't happen. It would of course be possible to squeeze in the nfic scenes "between chapters", so to speak, so that when Kal and Lois wake up in the morning, Lois will have taught Kal what the birds and the bees are about. But I don't think that will happen, not now and not like that. If Lois really had such bold plans, she would be more nervous about it.

Otherwise, this chapter made me think of something I read in my local newspaper a few weeks ago. A scientist claimed that the human race, Homo Sapiens, is a suicidal species. The scientist claimed that individual human beings are very good at doing what is good for themselves and their immediate family, but it is much harder for them to do what is good for the larger group they belong to, their society. And it is even harder, almost impossible, for them - for us - to do what is good for our species as a whole, and for our long-term survival.

Now consider the New Kryptonians. If I have understood things correctly, they are a relatively small bunch, a small people. They are a species made up of few individuals. Okay. So if there are few of you, what do you need to do to survive as a species? Well, lesson 1 A would be that you don't kill each other needlessly. And, really and seriously, you don't kill girl children and fertile women. Because after all, if you kill girl children and fertile women, who are going to bear the new children that your species so desperately needs?

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“The parents of the murdered boy – they killed my two soldiers, then they went through the home of the murderer and slaughtered his wife and his daughter and his sister.
On this world, where so few children seem to be born, where you have to be so careful not to destroy any possibility to have more children, what did these murderers do? They killed one girl and two adult women, both of whom might still have been fertile. I would say that what those murderers did, under the circumstances, was a crime against Kryptonians as a species.

Ah, but I forgot. Kryptonians aren't Kryptonians, as such. They aren't a species, or at least they don't think of themselves that way. They are North or they are South. Silly me. And that means, of course, that they can go on killing each other, and that way, they can kill themselves. Yeah, well, I know what the New Kryptonians should be called as a species. Kryptonian Suicidales.

But... no. There is still hope for them. There is Kal, and there is Lois supporting him, and there are New Kryptonians who are willing to save themselves by refraining from killing each other:
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“Today, as your Supreme Ruler, I am ordering you to make a choice. If you are willing to turn from the past, if you are willing to live in peace with all your fellow Kryptonians, if you want to join the fight against our difficulties ... I want you to walk out of here now. I want you to walk out of these gates and return to your homes, deeply committed to building a future for all of us.”

...

Then, a woman near the back of the crowd turned and walked out.

She was followed by two other people.

Then three more.

Then a group of about ten.

Then a steady trickle.

Then a stream.
And we learn who is behind the suicidal behaviour of the New Kryptonians. As if we couldn't guess.

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From the balcony, standing the obligatory step behind Kal-El, Lord Nor observed the Kryptonian people turn and walk away.

...

In less than two weeks, there would be a new Supreme Ruler.

And then, the South would reign.

And those racketeers from the North would be subject to Southern Rule.

And unity would be a thing of the past.
The scientist who claimed that human beings are a suicidal species would nod his agreement at Lord Nor. "Yes," he would say, "that is exactly what I meant by the kind of behaviour that threatens the survival of the entire species!"

But Kal is on the case. And Lois. And Kal loves his people, as Lois has already pointed out to herself, and now he loves her, too. And he can only gain strength from his love of Lois.

You are making me love Tek, too. You make me see how Tek reads Lois's book to his children, and how his children ask for another book, another story. And you make me see how the children's enthusiasm makes Tek's wife happy, and how she tells Tek to give her scented salve to Lois in return for bringing joy to her children. If I didn't know better, I'd think that Tek and his wife are trying to bring Lois and Kal together - really together, if you know what I mean. Tek has already given Kal some cologne, hasn't he? So if Kal puts on his cologne and Lois puts on her scented salve, it could be that a nfic scene becomes unavoidable after all - even if it takes place "between chapters"!

Ann
Posted By: Vicki Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/26/09 03:06 AM
Someone needs to yell at Lois, "You're an investigative reporter... Investigate!" Or, better still, they can investigate together. How long will it take before one of them decides to take a closer look at this murder/"suicide" story? Ironically, it appears that Kal's mistake was not, as he supposes, in refusing to accept the murderer's wife's proposal, but in ordering the grieving parents to turn in their weapons.

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“Kal, you may be the Supreme Ruler, but you can’t be everywhere and you can’t control everything your people do.”
Lois being Lois. Telling Kal/Clark that SupremeRuler/Superman can't be everywhere or control everything.

Everything seems to be moving along here - Lois and Kal's relationship (I LOVED Lois comforting him, and Kal's "please, please, please" don't leave), Lord Nor's plans, the subtle changes in Tek (or, perhaps it's not so much a change in the man himself, as in the way we see him, I'm not quite sure). But there is one thing that has been on the back burner since the story began, and which I am getting ever more anxious to see resolved - Kal's marriage! Where is his wife? What is her story? How and when will this marriage be dissolved so that Lois is truly free to be with Kal?
Posted By: KathyB Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/26/09 08:35 PM
How ironic that Nor sneers over the people's "weakness" because Kal is able to positively influence them, even as he brags to himself about how easy it was to manipulate the grieving family into taking revenge. We finally see his motivation and goal. The question is, will the people he thinks he can rule allow him to drag them back into that life? Or will they rise up and fight against him, choosing instead Kal and his message of peace?

I'm really enjoying these glimpses into Tek's life. Like Kal, he starts out so distant, but Lois has earned his trust and affection, just as she earned Kal's. Not in the same way, obviously, but it's clear that Tek likes her, and appreciates the gifts she has given his children. So I love that Tek's wife has given gifts to both Kal and Lois -- proof that Tek confides in her about his day, and maybe that they've even discussed a plan to help encourage Kal and Lois to be together physically/emotionally. Kryptonians are clearly a lot more complex emotionally than we (and Lois) thought at first. thumbsup

I'm also delighted that we got our first hint of the bond coming through in Lois's dream. How many buildings over is his from hers? Obviously far enough away that she couldn't have heard his sobs physically. So I absolutely love that she just "knew" that he needed her and that she was driven to find him. Wonderful.

Now we just need Kal to find the words to get her to move into his quarters permanently. Come on, Kal, you can do it! dance
Posted By: Female Hawk Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 01:56 AM
Rac Great point about there being two sides to the emotional awakening.

Kal's awareness or otherwise ... I'm just going to leave that one alone for awhile.

Thanks for your comments, Rac.

Laura As I've said before in replies to FDK, there is so much I'd like to say, but so little I can.

What I can say is that the resolution to one of the issues you raised is exactly where I'm at in writing the fic.

Thanks, Laura.

Ann Actually this was not really meant to tease. The part got bigger than I had originally intended and I really wanted to finish with them together.

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Lois grinned and pulled away. “I have an idea,” she said.

“About what?”

“Come to the bed and I’ll show you.”
I admit the word 'bed' was suggestive, but they have a desk, a chair and a bed, so there really aren't too many options! I think that if Lois was intent on seduction, the mood would have been different.

As you said -
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But I don't think that will happen, not now and not like that. If Lois really had such bold plans, she would be more nervous about it.
True - and the first scene of the next part will be sweet ... not hot.

(I do have a *shameless* cliffhanger in the works. I sent it to Iolanthe who says I have to use it, so if I do, you can blame her!!!)

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You have said that there will be no nfic scenes.
That doesn't mean they won't make love. That means I have no intention at this point to write it in detail.

Your explanation of Nor's motivation is spot on. He doesn't care about the Kryptonian people. He cares about power for himself and victory for the South.

I love that Tek has won you over. His part is this fic is only just beginning.

Thanks for all your thoughts, Ann.

Vicki

Yes, they should investigate ... but I don't think even Lois Lane can get an answer from a dead person about who stirred the feelings of grief into violent action.

Yes ... Kal is married. That definitely needs a resolution. wink

Thanks so much for your FDK, Vicki.

Kathy

Nor - In TNAOS, I remember Nor being evil, but not particularly bright (I could be wrong, I usually fast forward through his scenes). In this fic, his reasoning is totally illogical - but he is so blinded by hatred and the need for power, he can't even see that.

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Kryptonians are clearly a lot more complex emotionally than we (and Lois) thought at first.
I remember some early FDK about whether Kryptonians were human or not - given their lack of emotions. It was a fascinating discussion, but I so wanted to say 'just wait until we get to know them a bit better.'

Thanks, Kathy.


Corrina.
Posted By: Darth Michael Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 05:34 AM
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Uhmm ... the explanation of the skintight suit ... uhmm ... is there one in canon? [Wink] Because if there is, I'll go with that.
No, IIRC, there wasn't an explanation. I'd say it was just an eyecandy thing for the female demographic :p And since you gave such a strong impression of Kal's modesty, there has to be an explanation why he's wearing bodypaint instead of clothes and still manages not to die of embarrassment goofy

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“No,” Kal said. “It’s because you’re neither North nor South. That makes you ... unfathomable.”

“But you aren’t North or South either.”

A look of isolation darkened his face. “I know.”

“So we’re the only two people on this entire Planet who don’t have an allegiance to the old areas on Krypton?”

“Yes.”

Lois smiled and squeezed his hand. “Then maybe we should stick together,” she suggested. “Help each other.”
hyper

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Tek reached into the pocket of his jacket and brought out a tiny metallic container. He held it towards her.

Lois looked from his hand to his face. It gave her no clue to his intent. “Are you giving it to me?” she asked.

“Yes.”

Lois took it and removed the lid. Inside was a light blue creamy substance. She sniffed and drew back. It was strong ... very strong, but also pleasant – almost flowery ... strong like daphne, but sweet like a rose.

“It’s for your face,” Tek said. “You don’t need much.”
eek

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“Where does it come from?”

“My wife makes it. She swaps it for food with the other women.”
I should have seen it coming. But you know, my devious mind came up with a much more nefarious explanation: Tek could be in league with Nor and he’s marking the Supreme Ruler and the Alien Freak so that everyone can smell it if they engage in inappropriate activities.

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She forced her eyes to his face and nailed them there.
Lois, you do know his ‘face’ is a bit higher up, right?

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In less than two weeks, there would be a new Supreme Ruler.

And then, the South would reign.
Oh, that’s interesting. I had no idea if Nor would be North or South. Somehow I figures North, simply because he would abhor a bastard bred between the two sides but given that the bastard’s father was North and he is North and he is Nor, he could still extrapolate his divine right to rule from all this.

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She’d said she loved him.

But what did that mean?

Did it mean she liked being with him?

Did it mean she admired him?

Respected him?

She had agreed they could be friends.

How many friends did an Earth woman have?

And did she love all of them?

All the same way?

Or did love come in varying categories?

And if so, where did he fit?
Yeah. And do I detect a hint of jealousy in there?

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“Come to the bed and I’ll show you.”
Okay, that sounds way too suggestive. But you already said it was not. Oh well, waiting for part 13 spider

Michael
Posted By: Rac Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 06:57 AM
Michael's comment reminded me of something from season 1:

Kal is a man. Lois is a woman. But I'm beginning to wonder if Lois actually is going to have to draw him a diagram. wink
Posted By: SJH Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 07:24 AM
Cold night, warm bed, Kal's a quick study-no problem. (Sorry, could,nt help it).
Posted By: Vicki Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 07:38 AM
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Yes, they should investigate ... but I don't think even Lois Lane can get an answer from a dead person about who stirred the feelings of grief into violent action.
Hmmm... "should" doesn't sound like "will". Not that it matters, because the second part of your answer would appear to indicate that my theory of what really happened the night of the masacre is totally off anyway, so I guess I'll just have to read along and see where this leads.

Re: emotions. We've actually been given plenty of clues to indicate Kryptonian emotion. Nor, obviously, knows what it is to hate - as well as feeling distain, envy, and pride. The grieving parents... grieve. A mother's love leads her to offer her own life for that of her child. Children enjoy storybooks. Tek expresses concern for his mother-in-law's health, while he and his wife worry about their children's future. [Edited to add: Now that I remember, to this we can add that Lois noticed Tek was amused when she asked if he and his wife were the parents of his children, embarrassed when she asked how his wife got pregnant, and relieved when she ended the conversation.] I'd say there is plenty of emotion, but virtually no (public) emoting. The $24,000 question is: Why?
Posted By: smileyem Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 07:40 AM
Wow, what a part - again! thumbsup

Emma (ok, so I lied about the length of the post, this is becoming a full-on dissertation on 'Awaken my Heart' by Female Hawk!!)
Posted By: smileyem Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 08:06 AM
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Kal is a man. Lois is a woman. But I'm beginning to wonder if Lois actually is going to have to draw him a diagram.
rotflol Rac, maybe she will, she's getting pretty adept at drawing now! Still, I think sjp's right, Kal would be fine with a hands-on demonstration! wink Eeek, minds out of the gutter people, this is a sweet, innocent fic!
Posted By: sarahg Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 08:43 AM
this is getting more and more intense. how much time has passed here? and how much time will the story take - do you have a count of parts yet? I get so anxious...
Posted By: KathyB Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 10:08 AM
I keep laughing over Michael and Rac's comment about Lois needing to draw Kal a picture. Lois's next venture, an adults-only series. She's already introduced them to stories and sweet oatmeal. Porn is the natural next step, right? rotflol

Em wrote:
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You can just hear the evil cackle!! Oh Lord Nor, the bad guy always has a plan and it's always so well thought out and foolproof but they never allow for Lois Lane.
LOL!!! That is an awesomely perfect description of L&C. sloppy
Posted By: Darth Michael Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 11:17 AM
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Originally posted by KathyB:
I keep laughing over Michael and Rac's comment about Lois needing to draw Kal a picture. Lois's next venture, an adults-only series. She's already introduced them to stories and sweet oatmeal. Porn is the natural next step, right? laugh "The stories of Wanda Detroit and Kalvin"

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Originally posted by KathyB:
<strong>Em wrote:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> You can just hear the evil cackle!! Oh Lord Nor, the bad guy always has a plan and it's always so well thought out and foolproof but they never allow for Lois Lane.
LOL!!! That is an awesomely perfect description of L&C. sloppy
yeah, might be fun to write a story that actually took LL interfering into account in order for for the plan to succeed laugh

Michael

PS: Is is it time yet? Or will you post in the next 11 hours, please? Pretty please? grovel
Posted By: Sheila Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 01:45 PM
Just post, Corrina! You're killing me!

~Sheils
Posted By: Vicki Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 03:00 PM
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the first scene of the next part will be sweet ...
Awwww..... everytime they're together, it's sweet. I can't wait to read the scene. I LOVE sweet! Although.... I do like salty, too. wink

So, will you post when you get home from work? I'm with Michael and Sheila - craving more NOW. Why do you have to live on the other side of the globe? I hate these time-zone delays.
Posted By: Female Hawk Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 04:09 PM
OK ... again I'm due at work. (I'm a math tutor. Can you imagine how hard it is to concentrate on Pythagorus and trig and calculus when your head is absolutely crammed with Lois and Clark? Or in this case Lois and Kal? Maybe *I* should draw the diagram! eek )

Anyway, yesterday the muse was extremely cooperative and I got two chapters written. They still need a lot of polishing, but I can see the end ... and even better, I have a fair idea of how we are going to get there.

Latest estimate is 23 parts.

Thanks everyone. I love your comments - particularly amongst yourselves. It's like listening in to someone else's conversation.

As you've been so nice, I'll try to post the next part today - 6-8 hours from now.


Corrina
Posted By: TOC Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 07:25 PM
Originally posted by Michael:
Quote
Originally posted by KathyB:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> I keep laughing over Michael and Rac's comment about Lois needing to draw Kal a picture. Lois's next venture, an adults-only series. She's already introduced them to stories and sweet oatmeal. Porn is the natural next step, right? laugh "The stories of Wanda Detroit and Kalvin"
The stories of Wanda Detroit and Kalvin as porn??? eek I hope not!!! In Sweden, Kalvin is a cartoon calf, designed to make kids drink more milk!!!

[Linked Image]

Corinna, just so that you know....!!!!

Ann
Posted By: melray1228 Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/27/09 08:01 PM
I am so addicted to this story that it's just sad. It is very unique, and I LOVE it!! clap Kal's innocence and desire to help his people along with Lois being in a situation where she is so completely out of her element is wonderful. Seeing them fall in love and explore that love has me hooked.
Looking forward to the next installment which I hope comes very, very soon!
Posted By: Female Hawk Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/28/09 04:55 PM
Michael
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So, if Lois where to offer her life to Kal in exchange for being with him for as long as her natural life allows, would that be still within the rules?
Good question! The answer will be in those dusty volumes Lois saw in the chambers on her first day on NK. I could go and spend a few hours researching them if you wanted ... instead of writing more of the fic laugh

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Lois, you do know his ‘face’ is a bit higher up, right?
*Lois* was trying to be good!

Thanks, Michael.

Rac and SJH smile1

Kathy

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Porn is the natural next step, right?
dizzy :p

Sheila Posted. smile

Ann Your 'Kalvin' post is more relevant that you'd think!

Mel Thanks, Mel. I'm glad you're enjoying the ride.


Thanks everyone

Corrina.
Posted By: Vicki Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/28/09 07:14 PM
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I still think Nor should read here for ideas!
Honestly, I thought Nor did it.

I guess I misread or misunderstood the part about the weapons, but it was my impression that the parents were unarmed. I was (am?) unclear how two unarmed ordinary citizens could overpower their armed guards, killing them in the process. It also seemed odd that they would have the courage to even attempt to kill the Supreme Leader's guards, as the people on New Krypton don't seem given to standing up to authority figures.

Also, their original request was the life of the murderer's daughter, which seemed "fair" in a convoluted and grotesque meaning of the word - but slaughtering the entire family struck me as overkill (no pun intended). The original demand for the daughter's life, by the way, was what I thought Nor was referring to when he commented about how easy it was to manipulate them.

And the suicide at the end was just way too convenient. So, I assumed Nor or his men had committed the murders and arranged it to look like a murder/suicide. Which is why it seemed especially ironic that the parents (who, I had assumed, were not only murdered in cold blood but also framed for the entire masacre) were all the more victims in the sense that they couldn't even defend themselves, because Kal had confiscated their weapons.

When I read it, I thought *you* were the evil one. I don't know what to make of the fact that this diabolical scheme turns out to be an invention of *my* imagination, not yours! dizzy
Posted By: Female Hawk Re: FDK - Awaken My Heart (12/?) - 09/29/09 07:28 AM
Vicki

Thanks for your explanation.

From Part 12 ...
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He had ordered them to hand in their weapons.

Eventually, they had agreed there would be no bloodshed.
Here's what I was thinking - they lied about there being no bloodshed, so it was possible they lied (by omission) and only handed in some of their weapons.

Your thoughts make sense - given what I wrote.

Thanks to you, I can see that it is ambiguous, so I'll make it clearer before it goes to the archive.

Of course, it is also possible that Nor gave them more weapons, but I didn't intend to suggest the suicides were murders.

Knowing murderers are executed promptly, I thought suicide was a reasonable possibility - particularly if they felt they couldn't face their grief over the death of their child.

And Nor, of course, would have encouraged it - to cover the trail back to him.

This incident will be mentioned again - and a little more of Nor's motivation will be explained.

Thanks Vicki

Corrina.
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