FDK: Summer Storms! - 05/06/09 03:35 PM
So what did everyone think of it? I'm dieing to know how you guys feel about it. you can find the whole story here: Summer Storms
Re: FDK: Summer Storms! - 05/06/09 06:39 PM
I really liked this story. It was so sweet. Those girls are definatly Lois' kids.
Re: FDK: Summer Storms! - 05/07/09 05:43 PM
Hi, 
First off, I enjoyed the story. I focus on the girls was a nice angle and I believe it worked well. I also liked the use of Scardino.
Perhaps I didn’t read as carefully as I should have but I didn’t realize that L&C were under any kind of stress until the loss of the baby was brought to the forefront of the story near the end. After the fact, I was wondering if that was why Clark was so bothered by Dan’s presence. I would have liked to have seen some more “marital stress” scenes to set the stage for what was revealed late in the story.
I found myself wondering what the normal relationship was between the girls and their parents. I was surprised that both L and C came down on them so hard for sneaking out. That shouldn’t have been too much of a surprise given the situation. How were the girls supposed to know that the boys that they were with were tied up with the guy that was the subject of their investigation? Does this mean that they have never sneak out at home? (Or does it mean that they’ve just never been caught?) Anyway, several times while reading the story I wished I know more about how this family functions when at home.
One final point, a few times, particularly later in the story, it seemed to me like the action was rushing by. It almost had a feel of “we need to wrap everything up quickly” or something like that. I would have enjoyed it if the last ¼ of the story was paced a little slower. Maybe with more “how did we get into this” or “what do we do now” sort of dialog.
Overall it’s a very nice story. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Bob
First off, I enjoyed the story. I focus on the girls was a nice angle and I believe it worked well. I also liked the use of Scardino.
Perhaps I didn’t read as carefully as I should have but I didn’t realize that L&C were under any kind of stress until the loss of the baby was brought to the forefront of the story near the end. After the fact, I was wondering if that was why Clark was so bothered by Dan’s presence. I would have liked to have seen some more “marital stress” scenes to set the stage for what was revealed late in the story.
I found myself wondering what the normal relationship was between the girls and their parents. I was surprised that both L and C came down on them so hard for sneaking out. That shouldn’t have been too much of a surprise given the situation. How were the girls supposed to know that the boys that they were with were tied up with the guy that was the subject of their investigation? Does this mean that they have never sneak out at home? (Or does it mean that they’ve just never been caught?) Anyway, several times while reading the story I wished I know more about how this family functions when at home.
One final point, a few times, particularly later in the story, it seemed to me like the action was rushing by. It almost had a feel of “we need to wrap everything up quickly” or something like that. I would have enjoyed it if the last ¼ of the story was paced a little slower. Maybe with more “how did we get into this” or “what do we do now” sort of dialog.
Overall it’s a very nice story. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Bob
Re: FDK: Summer Storms! - 05/09/09 11:59 PM
Hi. I'm actually still reading it; haven't gotten all the way through yet. Just thought I'd comment on what I've seen so far.
I was curious when somebody in the IRC expressed a dislike of this fic...what I had read up to that point wasn't bad; the dialogue was maybe a little bit wooden in places, but even the best authors have off days etc. So what was the problem? It was then that this person pointed something out to me:
Ladies, you named your characters after yourselves.
Your fic was fine before, but now that I'm aware that I'm reading about the authors themselves, it somehow taints it. Self Insert Fic is a very tricky thing that requires Level 99+ Writing skill AND a whole slew of special circumstances to pull off. I'm sorry I can't explain very well why this is so; it's just one of the facts of fanfic.
So, I'm going to go back to reading now. I just thought you should know; your fic could probably be improved greatly by simply changing their names.
I was curious when somebody in the IRC expressed a dislike of this fic...what I had read up to that point wasn't bad; the dialogue was maybe a little bit wooden in places, but even the best authors have off days etc. So what was the problem? It was then that this person pointed something out to me:
Ladies, you named your characters after yourselves.
Your fic was fine before, but now that I'm aware that I'm reading about the authors themselves, it somehow taints it. Self Insert Fic is a very tricky thing that requires Level 99+ Writing skill AND a whole slew of special circumstances to pull off. I'm sorry I can't explain very well why this is so; it's just one of the facts of fanfic.
So, I'm going to go back to reading now. I just thought you should know; your fic could probably be improved greatly by simply changing their names.