FDK: Right Off The Bat 2/4 - Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards

If I were to be interrogated about this part, it would go something like this:

Interrogator: Sue, did you, or did you not, seek out Lara this past weekend and then deliberately try to weasel the second part of this story out of her early?

Sue: Yeah, I did. And I'd do it again.

I: That's reprehensible! Trading on your friendship with an innocent author to get access to their stories!

S: But have you read Lara's stories? Do you have any idea *why* I'd want to read them and might resort to somewhat devious methods to do so? Allow me to explain!

I: Make it good.

S: Okay. I'll give you a few examples.

Exhibit A: Lara writes some of the funniest and wittiest dialogue ever. She's especially good at Clark's doublespeak, whether it be innuendo or hints at his secret identity:

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"I'll be back before you can blink," he replied from halfway across the room, waving a hand in the air.

and

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"If we ever manage to make sense of this...pile of..." She sighed and gestured at the papers scattered across the table. "Platt's report..."

and

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"You've been in Metropolis what, a week? And already you know all the best places?" Lois asked, dubious.

Clark tapped the side of his nose lightly. "Sources, Lois. Sources."

Exhibit B: Her Clark and Lois smolder with unresolved sexual tension:

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"I hope you haven't made dinner plans," she said in a rather frustrated sigh. "We're going to be here all night."

"I am all yours." He flashed her a warm smile and he could have sworn that she'd blushed.

"Careful," Lois found herself saying, "I might hold you to that."

"I'm counting on it," he told her, holding her gaze until she looked away, visibly flustered.

I love that scene - and I especially love Lara's remake where Lois doesn't dismiss him immediately. Mmmm. And then Lois can't help staring again…

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"Well, it's my business, looking beyond the external," she explained, a smug look on her face. Although, in this case, she would have been content to simply look at his very nice external features - broad shoulders, friendly smile, and chocolate-brown eyes that always seemed to have a spark of mischief to them.

For a moment, he seemed satisfied with sitting there and letting her look, saying nothing at all. Until finally Lois realized she was staring and she looked away, eyes wide.

Exhibit C: She neatly paces her stories. She doesn't waste time with pages of inner dialogue or exposition. She shows us what's happening - a you-are-there feeling that is like being plopped down in the middle of an episode. Consider the entirety of this part - using snappy dialogue and a few short expository sentences - Lara has taken us through Platt's notes, speculated on Dr. Baines, whet our appetite for Bruce Wayne's appearance, given the Clark the idea for a disguise, and established that both characters are immensely attracted to each other.

Exhibit D: Her Lois and Clark are so damn believable. I read them and I can perfectly hear the characters on the show in my head:

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Clark had just barely made it past Lois's desk when she noticed him. "Where have you been?" she asked, a touch of displeasure in her voice.

"Oh, I just remembered I had to stop by the b--"

"And what on earth happened to your suit?" She frowned at him, perplexed. What could he possibly have done in the last five minutes or so that would have gotten him covered in dirt?

That is so *exactly* the Lois of the first season (my favorite!).

Exhibit E: The Batman: No one else writes him like Lara. In other stories, she's taken him from a two-dimensional cartoon character and made him into a complicated person who absolutely belongs in Superman's universe. True, he hasn't had any "screen time" yet in this story, but we're already forming opinions about him.

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Clark let out a small chuckle. "Given his reputation, I bet he goes for anything in a skirt."

It was Lois's turn to laugh. "You do realize that 'anything in a skirt' is broad enough to include Scottish men, for instance?"

Does this mean I can see the next part early?

/dies laughing!

Does this mean I can see the next part early?

hehehe - for that? I'll FedEx you everything that's on my hard drive.

/me waits by the door to sign for the package...

And then you're going to share Lara's stuff with the rest of us, right Sue?!?

I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to post fdk for the first part, but I was completely hooked. And it's such a fabulous exploration of Elisabeth's initial story.

I love how your Clark isn't a doormat. The last time I rewatched the pilot I was struck by how many times Clark just stood there looking like a doofus in response to something Lois would say. Now, I totally understand all of the reasons he would act like that, but I much prefer a Clark who is confident enough in himself to give as good as he gets from Lois.

I admit I'm a little confused...it seems as if you're setting things up with Bruce Wayne playing the role of Lex Luthor in the pilot. But I can't fathom how that could possibly be accurate, so I'll just sit here in suspense until all is revealed.

I love your writing style, and I love this story!

More soon please!
Amber

Okay, from the looks of it it certainly seems as if Clark is suspecting Wayne Enterprises to be the bad guys and in proxy, Bruce Wayne himself. Only that can't be the truth behind everything because you wouldn't make Bruce Wayne into the bad guy.

I guess the only thing that can solve this mess is posting parts 3 and 4. Btw, how are you going to wrap this up in just two more parts?

Michael

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I admit I'm a little confused...it seems as if you're setting things up with Bruce Wayne playing the role of Lex Luthor in the pilot.

Well... you know, I'm following Elisabeth's lead. She's the one who had Bruce organize a ball - and she mentioned something about him being interesting to the press besides the fact that he was a reclusive billionaire.

Excerpt from "New Faces; New Year" :

Besides, with the rumors that had been circulating about Wayne Tech, she suspected she wasn't the only journalist out there who was giving Bruce Wayne a second thought.

So, really, I'm just following along.

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Only that can't be the truth behind everything because you wouldn't make Bruce Wayne into the bad guy.

You think?

You'll have to stay tuned, I guess. *giggles*

As for wrapping this up in two more parts, um... well, let's just say there was a reason why I put a question mark after the 4, but, um... it's quite possible I'll wrap it up in two more [longer than this one] parts.

Thanks for the comments guys! I really can't tell you how much it warms my heart to see them. *big hugs all around*

I love where the story is leading. Wish I had time for better feedback, but it looks as if Sue already gave you what it was worth.

Elisabeth

The slow (or maybe not so slow) build-up of their friendship is wonderful. I love the banter and the way you weave canon with your own interpretations.

I love this bit ...

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"Well, it's my business, looking beyond the external," she explained, a smug look on her face. Although, in this case, she would have been content to simply look at his very nice external features - broad shoulders, friendly smile, and chocolate-brown eyes that always seemed to have a spark of mischief to them.

For a moment, he seemed satisfied with sitting there and letting her look, saying nothing at all. Until finally Lois realized she was staring and she looked away, eyes wide.

The 'letting her look' bit makes Clark sound like a display in a museum.

A very nice display in a museum!

Oh yeah, Clark would make a very nice display piece in most any museum I could think of. teehee!