The mystery goes on...
Within seconds of the superhero leaving the scene, a white jeep screeched to a halt in front of the ambulance. A woman shrouded in a yellow rain parka jumped out of the SUV and ran to the car, where moments ago the baby had been born. She got there just in time to see the paramedics placing the mother and her baby on the stretcher, preparing her for transport to the hospital. The woman caught up with the father and questioned him on what had just happened. He excitedly answered her question, finishing his story by pointing into the sky. The woman looked up slowly into the clouds, and then shook her head. Shoulders slumped and audibly sighing, she walked back to her jeep. As she climbed back into the driver's seat, she paused for a moment to look back into the sky. Those who saw her witnessed the determined look on her face. She then looked away from the sky and slammed the door of her vehicle shut.
It looks like Lena (Lois, right?) is looking for him. Maybe what happened between them and made Clark so heartbroken was a misunderstanding? Maybe he left her without hearing her explication? I'm getting more and more curious.
Thank you for the feedback. Next part tomorrow. Any other feedback would be appreciate so I know if the story is flowing right.
M
Excellent. I am really enjoying this story. It is very intriguing. Each chapter has captured my interest immediately. Your writing is wonderful. It allows me to vividly picture each scene as well as feel the emotions and feelings of the characters
- He smiled at her, and said, "I understand. I'll see you here at eight then." He reached down and opened the door, giving Lena one more warm smile before leaving and walking down the hall. As he approached the elevator, a look over his shoulder confirmed that she was watching him walk away. She looked beautiful, standing there in the doorway. He employed his enhanced vision to bring her face closer into view. When he zoomed in, he saw her face was full of intense scrutiny. It caught him by surprise, but he knew that she had a lot of information to digest about him. So it shouldn't worry him. Yet he felt that tickle in the back of his mind again that something was wrong, but he couldn't quite grasp what it was.
I love this paragraph. For me it sums up a lot of things - Clark's attraction to Lena, and on some level his distrust of who she really is.
p.s.
In answer to your question I do think the story is flowing alright. I agree with comments above. It seems Clark and Lena had a serious misunderstanding and Clark was really hurt. Was he hurt by the revelation that Lena is someone else. Is this a reverse revelation story? If so very intriguing twist to a typical Lois and Clark.
So Lois in looking for him. Did she realize she made a mistake? But if so, then she could still have phoned Ma and Pa Kent. At least there's more out there already
Michael
I don't think that Lois and Lena are the same. It seems, that Lena is very calm even when she speaks of her family... Lois would start to babble and her heart-rate would become faster.
And to me it seems that Lena has written guilty all over her!
Poor Clark
he deserves better.
But Lois is looking for him ... so it is possible that Clark stays in Metropolis
