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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,122 Likes: 1 |
Will Lois say 'yes' or 'no'?  Corrina.
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Joined: Jun 2013
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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I don't know what Lois will say, but I love your description of Clark, and he moves fast in this story! Oh, and I love this line: Her return smile was too vapid to disperse the cloud of gloom that clung to her like dandruff on a black velvet coat. Great start!
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
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 His smile made a fleeting appearance. "You ask a lot of questions, Lois."
Her name floated from his mouth on waves of sound that caused an answering flutter through her stomach. "I'm a reporter," she said without a trace of the tempestuousness that usually accompanied that statement. "It's what I do."
"I'm a reporter, too," he said, his eyes crinkling. "Does that mean I can ask questions?" Love it! Clark and his wise aleck retorts. I love how he knows just how to keep her off balance. He grinned at that. "The question was implied," he said. "Are you married, Lois?"
The solemnness of his delivery caused her heart to abandon its normal rhythm in favour of a helter-skelter dash to breathlessness. "No," she said. "No, I'm not married." Whoa! Who is this guy? I guess since they aren't meeting at work, he doesn't have to hold back. A dazzling, no-holds-barred smile lit up Clark's face. "Oh, good," he said. Right response... doesn't matter the question, as long as we get that smile. His smile retreated. His eyes dropped before bounding back to her face. He swallowed. His mouth opened. "Lois …"
"Yes?"
"Would you go out with me?" he asked. "On a date?"  Oh, dear. Clark's about to get his heart crushed... oh, wait. Invulnerable. I'm guessing this self-confident guy will persuade her to say 'yes'. Either that, or Lois will be tossing and turning and kicking herself when she finally checks into that vermin free, actually quite comfortable hotel. My cheeks are still sore from all the smiles and laughter that reading this first part has given me. Feel free to up your posting schedule. 
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Dec 2012
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Yey! Another story! My favorite lines: "Her name is 'Jane'," Lois said. "And she's marrying Shane McVane. Can you believe that? I'm surprised the wedding isn't on the top of a crane in Maine, just to set everything off perfectly." She scowled. "That's probably why I got an invitation. It's the 'Lois Lane' that did it. Shoulda changed my name before it was too late." You make me laugh so loud!  And I like SO much this Clark, self confident enough to ask her out ASAP, I hope Lois don't crush his confidence 
Clark: "So what are you saying? I should go crawling back on my hands and knees?"
Martha: "No, honey. Fly back. It's faster!!"
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Oh wow! This is amazing  Such a great first reaction to Clark...I loved how taken Lois was initially with 'Shane'. As she did, Shane's head turned - his smile still lingering - and his eyes crashed into hers.
Lois groped behind her and found the wall, collapsing into its comforting solidity.
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Shane was staring at Lois, his lower jaw adrift, his mouth frozen to the shape of the bygone smile.
Lois swallowed. Breathed. Blinked.
He was still there. Still staring. I loved their first impressions...magic! Clark knows it, Lois knows it (but will she acknowledge it? Hmmm...) He wore glasses, Lois realised, but they didn't detract from his looks. Instead, they drew her gaze to eyes the colour of dark caramel.
Somehow, her hand found his. Or perhaps, his hand found hers. Personally, a huge fan of the glasses--love Clark in his glasses  . And sparks fly! His smile made a fleeting appearance. "You ask a lot of questions, Lois."
Her name floated from his mouth on waves of sound that caused an answering flutter through her stomach. "I'm a reporter," she said without a trace of the tempestuousness that usually accompanied that statement. "It's what I do."
"I'm a reporter, too," he said, his eyes crinkling. "Does that mean I can ask questions?"
"I guess so," she said, agog at what questions he might want to ask of her. I really enjoyed the banter between them...so flirty and fun to read. And very easy to picture the two of them together in this scene  . His smile retreated. His eyes dropped before bounding back to her face. He swallowed. His mouth opened. "Lois …"
"Yes?"
"Would you go out with me?" he asked. "On a date?" Seriously, I don't know how she could resist?!? But--knowing Lois, she might get a bit worried and bolt, too. Have to wait till the next post, I guess, to find out! I was grinning at the ipad like a fool while reading this--it really was wonderful!--and laughing/squealing repeatedly ... Can't wait for the next part  , Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Very cute beginning. I'm looking forward to the next part. I loved this part: His smile made a fleeting appearance. "You ask a lot of questions, Lois." For me, that was the funniest part. 
"Who's asking? Clark... or Superman?"
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Aug 2012
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I'm liking this! They're both shell-shocked! Yay!!!
"It's the mythology of a sun god who wished he was a man because he saw something so great in us. It's the story of a hero who could move whole worlds and see through stars and hear a whisper on the other side of the planet... ...and who fell in love with a storyteller." - ashmaht (x)
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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His smile retreated. His eyes dropped before bounding back to her face. He swallowed. His mouth opened. "Lois …"
"Yes?"
"Would you go out with me?" he asked. "On a date?" They're moving so fast I think I got whiplash! Cute story; I'm liking it very much.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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FH, your writing is always awesome. I'm betting Lois will say "yes" very fast. I'm curious, what town is the Aussie equivalent of Des Moines, Iowa?
Actually, the city isn't that bad as midwest cities go. But Lois would certainly think it was the armpit of the country.
r/
Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Blogger
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Blogger
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This was so nice. I love how fast they both have fallen and how fast Clark moves! I can't wait to see what happens next. Clark is so irresistible that I don't see how Lois can say 'no'.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jan 2010
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I love when Lois isn't blind to how attractive Clark is (and I know you like this Lois too  I knew it was Clark, nobody else fits in the 'Tall, Dark and Handsome' category. I hope Lois will say 'yes' to Clark and Corrina will say 'YES' to posting the next part earlier.  
KateB
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Artemis posted: Actually, the city isn't that bad as midwest cities go. But Lois would certainly think it was the armpit of the country. ' showing her around, she'll probably have a good time... Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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 I made a bet this morning when I posted that that I would offend somebody. But yes, that's Lois' opinion. With tall dark and handsome there, she may well change her mind. Actually, I know it isn't that bad and is really a nice town. I even have been there, but when driving on I-80, things become a blur. And, hey, it's only 400 miles from Wichita, which is close to where Smallville is thought to be. regards Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Seriously, no offense taken at all!!! ...I got a kick out of the 'armpit' line and was laughing--wanted to tell you that I thought it was funny... I really enjoyed reading Lois' initial reaction to the area. And sorry if my response seemed different than how it was meant to be taken  ... Looking forward to Part #2  Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,122 Likes: 1 |
I have internet again! I'm just not sure how long it will last.
Thanks for the comments. I'm glad you liked the beginning.
I hope it was obvious that I meant no offence to Des Moines. I've never been there, but I hoped it was like some of the larger Aussie country towns.
As for a similar town here - maybe Hobart, the capital city of Tasmania. It is cold, damp, and incredibly beautiful. Life moves more slowly there.
I have lived on the outskirts of a big city for 18 years. My dream is to move back to the country. I reckon I'd enjoy Des Moines.
Corrina.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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we got to Clark asking Lois out in part 1. It does seem a bit quick. However, I guess since she is just there for the wedding, he has to act quickly. Although he could try to get a job at the DP, and build a relationship, but acting quickly makes sense. She seems to have moved past thinking Clark is trouble.
John Pack Lambert
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,122 Likes: 1 |
Annie I'm glad you like this less-inhibited Clark. Virginia Clark knows he has one weekend. There's no time to waste. And, it's a wedding. Romance is in the air! Chelo Another vote for self-confident Clark! Laura I chose Iowa because of its proximity to Kansas. I love Clark's glasses, too. I've always found Clark sexier than Superman. Lady L I'm glad you liked the start. I've had the first few chapters written for a long time - just couldn't decide on a good ending. Kismatt Shell-shocked. Good description! Debbie I've only got 7 or 8 parts to get the job done. Clark has two days. Whiplash is good! Artemis The opinions expressed by Lois Lane do not necessarily represent the opinions of the author! Ingeborg Thanks for commenting. I tried hard to make Clark irresistible. We'll see if Lois can resist. Kate B Does 'within the next hour' constitute 'posting earlier'? John Clark could get a job at the DP and move to Metropolis. But then this story wouldn't be 7 or 8 parts, it would be 4 or 5 times that. Right now, I don't have the time for a long story, so it's a short speedy one, or it remains languishing on my hard drive for another few years. I chose short. Thanks to everyone for you lovely response. Corrina.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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I love this story! (But then, that goes without saying. Hehe. If it's a Female Hawk story, you *know* you're going to love it.) I've been reading the comments, and I agree with what's said above. I love the chemistry, the banter, the humor, the romance, and I especially love how quickly Clark is moving. Clark is totally in character; he was smitten by Lois as soon as he saw her in the first episode of the show, and seemed quite open about his interest until she smacked him down with her "don't fall for me" line. And, as you say, Clark has the additional incentive of knowing Lois is only here for the weekend. He *has* to act quickly. I notice from the comments that I seem to be the only one to jump to the conclusion (just for a second, but still, the thought *did* occur to me) that Clark really *was* Jane's fiance. What Clark would be doing living in Des Moinse, using the alias of "Shane", and getting engaged to Jane, I have no idea! :rolleyes:
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Posts: 3,658 Likes: 10 |
Weddings bring out the worst in Lois, but not this time! 
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,122 Likes: 1 |
Vicki Thanks for sharing your responses publicly as well as giving me the benefit of them in your beta-reading. Morgana Weddings might bring out the worst in Lois, but Clark brings out the best!! Thanks for the FDK, Corrina.
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