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Thanks for letting me help you out with this one, Kathy... it's lovely and lyrical and emotional, and full of weath--err, I mean, symbolism Great job PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed. He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement." "You can say that again," she told him. "I have a...." "Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Boards Chief Administrator Beat Reporter
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Boards Chief Administrator Beat Reporter
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Oh wow ... Kathy, that was ... *waffy sigh*. I so felt the intial hurt Clark was going through. Feeling like that in *any* kind of relationship is so hard ... I had such a lump im my throat.
He's such a perfect guy in an imperfect way.
Thanks for sharing this! It was very much worth the wait.
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Intriguing start, Kathy - you had me immediately wondering what was wrong with the pointers about Clark being encouraged she allowed him to touch her and then the clear indications that something was wrong. Very nice hook. And this was superb. I was fascinated and engrossed throughout. You had me feeling so desperately sorry for Clark, not knowing what was wrong and taking it personally and worried about what had happened to Lois and what she was hiding from him. And my poor boy was trying so hard. I wanted to bop her when she was being all noble. <G> Shut up and let the guy propose, Lois!! The conversations were so poignant, Kathy and so waffy! Beautifully done. Lois stared at him for a long moment, but soon a delighted smile began to spread across her face. "I had no idea you could be so devious, Mr. Kent."
He grinned proudly. "I had a really good teacher."
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly. Aramis: Yes, sorry. Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hey kathy... What a wonderful story... I loved it...
Is it a bird?" "Is it a plane?" "No, it's just a guy in tights and a cape!"
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Yaay!!!!
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Beat Reporter
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You kept me on the edge of my seat while reading this. Umm... did you really say it was too long? This cries out for a sequel! The Kents have to be told, Perry has to be told... <g> No, seriously - this was so very beautiful, Kathy. Thanks for sharing.
Lois: Well, I like my quirks. I think they make me unique. Clark: You certainly are unique.
Clark: You're high maintenance, you know that? Lois: But I'm worth it!
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Hi, Beautiful! MAF
Maria D. Ferdez. --- Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age. MAF
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Hi! Great story! I had guessed that Lois was pregnant before she admitted it Wonderful idea, and beautifully written. You pictured in a superb way Clark's feelings. /me runs up to hug him, pushing Kathy away. He's mine!. No, he 's mine! If Lois doesn't want him, I do for sure. This cries out for a sequel! The Kents have to be told, Perry has to be told... Exactly! Just imagine Lois and Clark getting in to the Planet, everybody looking at them suspiciously, and Lois saying: "Clark, we had forgot to mention we were going to be married, hadn't we?" Good work. CONGRATULATIONS! And know that Xanabee and I are looking forward to reading more... See you soon. Anna_B.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Oh, man, it's a two tissue short. It was so beautiful, and so sweet. I had an inkling of what might be wrong... but I had started to contemplate some more drastic possibilities. I like the weather metaphor! And I like how even though this proposal is totally different than ATAI, it's STILL RAINING! And the title is just right.
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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I liked the weather thing, too... really started noticing it on my second or third time through this (beta-reading). Check this out: At the start, Lois and Clark are both unhappy, and not talking to each other about it; the situation is tense and uncomfortable, just like the heat wave. There are some clouds in the sky, but nothing's happened yet. L&C go for a walk, finally start talking, reach an understanding... and it starts raining. They go back to the house; it's still cloudy out, and they still have a few things left to talk about... and then at the very end, when L&C have resolved everything and are happy, we see the sun emerging from the clouds. I just think that's really cool PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed. He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement." "You can say that again," she told him. "I have a...." "Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Top Banana
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This was so sweet, I really enjoyed it. I too was relieved and smiled when Lois finally blurted out her "problem"! The hot, sticky weather descriptions actually had me feeling that sticky-middle-of-the-hot-humid-summer-skin you get when it's 90+ degrees! ~Liz
Lois: Can I go? Clark: No. Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go. Clark: Then why do you ask? Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Features Writer
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Kathy wonderful story waffy I loved it merry
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Great story. :-) It had me smiling in a few parts, tho I guessed early on why Lois was so moody. Then again, I've got pregnancy/marriage on the brain lately (not me, just someone close to me) so that could be why. I wonder if I should show them this?
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Kathy, Wow, so waffy! I don't want to repeat everything that everyone else said, so I guess I can just say ditto to what everyone else said! - Alicia
Laura "The Yellow Dart" U. (Alicia U. on the archive)
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." -- Christopher Reeve
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Features Writer
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Kathy, this is simply beautiful. I think that if I was going to start quoting my favorite parts, I would pull out almost every single thing. But I do have to quote this: Clark took a shaky breath. Who was he kidding? His heart would shatter into a million pieces and he would never be the same again. My poor Clark!! Already you had me in tears and they hadn't even started their conversation yet! I've enjoyed reading over the comments folder before posting. I had noticed the fact that it rained (ending the hot "uncomfortable" weather) right after the "major" issue was cleared up between them, but some of the minor nuances that Pam pointed out I had missed. I love seeing what others pick up on And the proposal was so sweet and waffy and then when I read this "Researched?" he whispered. When she nodded, his mouth twisted and he found he had to blink back tears. He took her hand and placed it on her belly, then covered it with his own. "Lois ... you *do* want this baby."
She met his gaze, her eyes damp as well. "How could I not?" she whispered back. "It's part of you."
Clark opened his mouth to speak, but his emotions got the better of him. Still, as he stretched himself alongside her and brought his mouth to hers, it was clear there was no need for words. The joy on his face said it all. I just melted - what's the phrase that people use? - into a puddle of goo. Truly marvelous story. Thank you. Kathy
"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
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Columnist
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Well, you already know how much I love this, but I don't mind saying it again. I think this is one of your best works yet. The melancholy tone and the atmosphere of this story are overwhelming. I noticed the symbolism of the weather immediately. I could feel the tension rising as the humidity built. When the clouds finally burst and the rain fell, I felt like dancing it myself, I was so relieved. I thought Lois' reactions and fears were very realistic, given the fact that they'd only been dating for two months. Clark may be a wonderful guy, but even the most wonderful of guys can freak out under these sorts of situations. And it's not like Lois has much experience with the reactions of good guys. Clark's reassurances were perfect. Exactly what she needed to hear. The last scene was my favorite though. This line made me cry: He took her hand and placed it on her belly, then covered it with his own. "Lois ... you *do* want this baby."
She met his gaze, her eyes damp as well. "How could I not?" she whispered back. "It's part of you." Up until this point, I have to admit that I wasn't sure she wanted the baby either. Oh, I knew that she'd come around eventually. But I just wasn't convinced that she was really happy. But this, this was so sweet, and I was so relieved. I loved it, Annie
Being a reporter is as much a diagnosis as a job description. ~Anna Quindlen
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This was just gorgeous and satisfying and waffy and wonderful. Thank you!
So when's the sequel?
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Merriwether
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Wow, thanks everyone ... I'm thoroughly delighted by such wonderful feedback. I'll be back to respond in more detail later, but I wanted to mention to those who have read the story that I've added several paragraphs to one of the scenes. I received private feedback from someone who thought Lois's expectations of Clark's reaction needed a bit more explanation, and I was able to work it in in a way that I hope will add to the scene. For those who have read already, there are seven new paragraphs (some including single lines of dialogue) beginning with this text: Clark sighed as he looked into her eyes. Her expression was regretful and she was clearly sorry for what she had put him through. Still ... "I just wish you'd have trusted me."
"I should have," she said, biting her lip. "I should have trusted you enough to just tell you. I know that now. But I was just ... scared." It is almost exactly halfway through the story, just as L&C arrive on the farmhouse porch, but before they enter the house. If you do reread, I would welcome any comments -- positive or negative -- on the addition, either here or in private email. Oh, and Maria, about the ring finger ... in the US, Americans count starting with their pointer finger. So Americans consider the ring finger to be the third finger (the one we count "three" on) on the left hand. Hope that makes more sense for you. Thanks again, everyone ... I am enjoying reading your comments immensely. Kathy
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Just getting to this <G> I've been busy with rewriting a story for exams. Kathy, this screams for a sequel. So, do we get one? <g>
BF (who can't seem to use her regular nick here)
“Rules only make sense if they are both kept and broken. Breaking the rule is one way of observing it.” --Thomas Moore
"Keep an open mind, I always say. Drives sensible people mad, I know, but what did we ever get from sensible people? Not poetry or art or music, that's for sure." --Charles de Lint, Someplace to Be Flying
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Merriwether
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I had heard rumors of an addition, and I bet it would require an additional hanky. I knew it! Just when I thought you'd covered all the facets... Excellent addition to an excellent story!
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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