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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Some questions are answered here. Does the explanation make sense, though? Oh, and beware the smoochies.
Chris
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Smoochies successfully avoided, thank you! I know it's silly of me not to have mentioned this before but I love the way you evoke snapshots of bit character people and scenes. Lois' sneaker sucking at the station floor. Clark's memories of the journey. Just beautiful! Thanks for posting this early enough for me to catch instead of my usual falling behind over the weekend. And, by all means, post MORE! Hazel, who read a smaller section than everyone else because of all the PG-13 stuff, so can reasonably expect a new section ASAP
Lois: You know the deal. Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.
-- Action Comics 827
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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I'm afraid I have to say that I'm disappointed in you Chris. You had a real opportunity to milk some major worry, grief, and fear angst there and you missed it.
Not only did you abandon you excellant chance for a good wham (CJ wouldn't have had to die, after all) but you have Lois 'save' him. Which then, of course, leads to all that yucky stuff. Tsk, Tsk.
That being said, I will have to admit that your writing is excellant. You do have a way of imagining a scene and bringing your reader into it. I hate both Jack and Jimmy, but your use of them (especially with Jimmy being the clueless goof) to point out certain little aspects works very well.
There are still several parts left and I'm hoping that means that there's still going to be opportunities for whams left. After all, Lex is still on the loose, and there is now no Superman.
Post again soon. (okay, okay... please?)
Tank (who thinks that Chris needs to hurt somebody, anybody... how about Jimmy?)
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Columnist
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Columnist
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This section is really clear and very enjoyable. It's nice to see CJ and Lois so comfortable with each other even when it's smoochie time.
I thought the bet between Jack and Jimmy was priceless--except that Jimmy who lost ten dollars. As far as Hazel's POV concern, I just thought that CJ was overhearing the exchange but the two young men were visible but at a distance.
I also want more,
gerry
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1 |
Ditto to what Hazel and Gerry said, but I still want to see CJ get his powers back!
Also, did his short stint as Superman repair his vision? He was nearsighted before, but I can see that super powers might correct his eyes so they would stay that way, afterwards.
More soon, please!
Nan
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hah, I knew there was gonna be some energy-transfer stuff going on... although I'd suspected that it had started earlier, when Lois was feeling so sick and tired. But I guess that was just her sensing his distress... I liked the yucky stuff <g> Very nice, and nicely done. I adore your lack of angst <g> Post more, quick! I'm greedy PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed. He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement." "You can say that again," she told him. "I have a...." "Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hi, Great part.
Maria D. Ferdez. --- Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age. MAF
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Chris A superb part! The smoochies are wonderful. I love their natural acceptance of each other. I'm thoroughly enjoying this and can't wait to read the next part. Tricia
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Chris, great part and very well done ditto others more soon please merry
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Beat Reporter
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OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 484 |
Hazel: thank you, as ever, for the compliments! Ah, you, and everyone else, really know how to make me smile! Miami Vice: H'm... Well, I worked on the basis that Lois and CJ would be the same age as me, that I know about Miami Vice (despite never having actually watched the show), and that Miami Vice featured in an episode of Friends so it must be in the cultural consciousness of the population. Of course, my reasoning might be completely faulty. If I can think of a different way of expressing the idea, I will think about changing it. I'd be curious to know, though, if others had a problem with the reference, especially anyone who is younger. As for the other thing... I did go back and tweak the wager bit a little. I haven't corrected this version, but the archive version will make things a little clearer. (BTW, CJ heard them and then turned to watch them; that is now more obvious). Tank: are you really that much of an angst fiend? I'd never have expected it! Tank (who thinks that Chris needs to hurt somebody, anybody... how about Jimmy?) Just for you, I promise to hurt / kill at least a couple of people before the story finishes. Okay? Gerry: thank you! Nan: I'm still making no promises about CJ and his powers. If I did, that would take away any suspense this story has. All I will say is that I hope you will be able to live with the eventual outcome. Pam: thank you! Ah hah! See, Tank, not everyone wants angst! Maria: I'm still not saying anything about CJ's powers... or lack of. Tricia and Merry: thank you for your comments, too. I'll post the next part tonight. Chris
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Well, I had no trouble with the Miami Vice reference, but then, I'm around the same age as the characters... I would think it's still pretty well known, or at least everyone knows what the "Miami Vice look" is. Just like people who've never seen Star Trek nonetheless know what warp speed is. It's part of the culture. Just like I know what "being a Pollyanna" means, even though I had no idea where it came from -- did you guys know there was a book? A thoroughly depressing one, too, from the sounds of it. As for CJ's powers, I kinda like the idea that "one man can change the world" even without superpowers. As long as he's got Lois with him, anyway <g> and that doesn't seem to be at issue here. So, Chris, you've replied to comments, so you'll be posting part 24 even as I type, right? It's gotta be "tonight" somewhere in the world... PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed. He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement." "You can say that again," she told him. "I have a...." "Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 484 |
Pam: So, Chris, you've replied to comments, so you'll be posting part 24 even as I type, right? It's gotta be "tonight" somewhere in the world... Uh, no... As you'll have found out, there has been a lull of a few hours. I posted the last message during a slack moment at work. ( Naughty me.) I am about to post part 24 now, though. Chris
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