Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Original Fiction FDK: Getting Out of the Corner (1/1)

I'll admit, I used a variation of the ending in a previous story several years ago, but I wanted to post a story with that twist on a non-L&C message board (fridayflashfiction.com), and I figure that it was long enough since my original post that most of the FoLCs here probably would not have read it.

All feedback appreciated.

That one is easy, drop a blood sausage and run as fast as you can.


Nice one.

<chuckle> Love your solution, Barbara.

I thought you might. As a Cologne citizen, it's mandatory to always carry a blood sausage with you. Just in case there are any zombies, werewolves or vampires around.

I have to ask if it's a garlic-flavored sausage with bits of silver embedded in one end.

I think it’s more on the order of a sop for Cerberus than a permanent solution. I suspect you are right, though, in that it would have to be custom-made, since in addition to the traditional ingredients, it would also need to include some (ground?) brains to get the attention of the zombie part of the monsters.

Yuck, and I always thought that the famous Cologne "Flönz" of 1802 was disgusting enough. That should give any attacker a nasty case of food poisoning.

[img]https://images.app.goo.gl/eNni2rymda83kVSV7[/img]

The blood sausage plays an important role in a traditional carnival puppet play. Around this time of the year you might actually run into some zombies, vampires or even werewolfes.

Ah. So there was more behind your blood sausage idea than just that the werewolf would like the meat and the vampire the blood. Do these puppet plays typically revolve around one or a few plots? For example, are the puppets vying to obtain the blood sausage?

Actually, I was just thinking about the blood and meat. But whenever I think about a blood sausage, the pupppets automatically come to mind. The puppets are part of a traditional theater. All characters use the local dialect. There are several plays throughout the year, but during carnival, there is a special. The puppets have their own carnival, there are singers who perform or people who tell funny stories. Some famous people appear (as puppets), most of them already dead in real life. I believe that even Donald Trump was on stage, once. Of course, they're making fun of him.
Whenever one of the puppets has performed a song or made jokes, they're rewarded with the blood sausage. But they never get to keep their reward.
Maybe that's because in German, if you give someone a medal or a reward, the verb we use is "verleihen". That translates to "to lent".

That's the running gag through the carnival show. Each guest gets the sausage, only to have it taken away again. The character taking care of the sausage (which is supposed to be used since 1802) brings it back to the moderator of the show (the president), exclaiming "Herr Präsident, die Woosch" (Mr. President, the sausage). Since he stutters badly and can't pronounce the "p" without spitting all over the place, that's usually ending as a shower for the moderator.

I can easily see children enjoying the running gags in the puppet plays. And depending on what is done with the historical figures, I could see the plays appealing to adults, as well.

Thank you for bringing back memories of my younger days. My first summer job as a teenager was performing in a drama troupe that travelled to local day camps and performed puppet shows, mime, skits, singalongs, etc. Most of the troupe (myself included) was not very good, objectively speaking, but we were enthusiastic. Fortunately, our audience was of an age which valued enthusiasm over either talent or polished performances, and we were therefore always well received. That was far and away the most fun job I have ever had.

Joy,
Lynn

Since the jokes are the most political in the whole city and the songs wouldn't always meet g-fic requirements, it's really more for adults. The local dialect isn't that easy to understand. I speak High German and when I wad younger, I didn't understand a word they said. German dialects differ a great deal, it's not just a matter of how you pronounce tomato or potato (I'm thinking of the song). There are many words that are completely different.

I, too, ventured into acting for several years. Just as a hobby. I was Eliza Doolittle once and translated her role to the local dialect. Usually, she speaks like the people from Berlin, whenever Pygmalion is played. Boy, that was hard to learn and pronounce the text. But I must have done well, because people were surprised, when I started speaking High German.

Brava! When you say that you translated her role, did you mean that you yourself did the actual language translation? If so, that is quite impressive. Did you do so in collaboration with a native Low German speaker?

I must say, I envy you. Liza Doolittle is the one role I have always most wanted to play. Unfortunately, I never really had a chance to audition for it when I was younger, and now (in my fifties), I am far too old for the part. But if the play were being performed locally once COVID settles down, I would gladly audition for the part of one of Henry Higgins' housekeepers or one of the snooty old ladies Liza speaks with. (I think they are the only speaking or singing characters whose age and gender demographics match my own.) And honestly, I'd be content to be one of the extras at the horserace or the dance.

It's funny that you mention that particular role. I found out eventually that the reason I got the summer job was that during the talent part of the audition, I sang "Wouldn't It Be Loverly," and the interviewer liked my Cockney accent. The irony of that is that although I can do a passable-for-an-American Cockney accent now, I couldn't do so then. I faked it by listening repeatedly to a recording of the song and imitating the singer. I also had struggled beforehand to put together the introductory sentence or two I said in what I had hoped would look like an adlib. (Something along the lines of, "'Ow 'bout a song, then, guvnor?")


Joy,
Lynn

I was part of a theater group consisting of teenagers and young adults. After five or six years, it had kind of been my turn to get one of the leading roles. I decided to let Eliza speak in the local dialect. After years of trying to understand it, I had a fair idea of what words she would use. The funniest part was to find the right kind of insults for Henry Higgins. I did the translation with a little help from an online dictionary, but I had the father of another actress look over my translation, particularly to get the grammar right. He also read the text and I got the mp3 to get the pronounciation right. It was kind of trying to talk in a different language. To the day, I'm not quite sure if my accent is worse when I speak English or when I try to speak Kölsch".

I'm not sure which role was the best I played, Eliza Doolittle or Lady Bracknell (The Importance of Being Earnest). If you're looking for a role complementing your age, that would definitely be it.)

We definitely have similar tastes in plays. Although I have never had the pleasure of seeing Wilde's play, I have read it a couple of times and love the wordplay in it. I agree that Lady Bracknell would be a good character to play.

I wish I could have seen your performance of Liza and that I knew enough German to be able to appreciate it. Do you still keep in touch with any of the other members of your theatre group?

Joy,
Lynn

To some of them. One happens to be my husband. He was Colonel Pickering.

How did we end up here when it started out with vampires, zombies and werewolves? Once again I end up hijacking your thread. This is becoming a bad habit.

So Liza and Pickering got together? How delightful!

Hmmm... Let's see... Monsters-->Blood sausage-->Puppet shows-->Plays. A perfectly straight line.

As long as the moderators don't mind the topic drift, I'm not only fine with it, but also happy to have these conversations.

Of course, if anyone else wants to chime in on monsters or mime, fanfic or favourite rôles, please do!

Joy,
Lynn