Lois watched Clark walk briskly out of the ER cubicle, then looked at Dana Friskin. The therapist waited a long moment before asking the nurse if she could enter, and got a sharp sigh followed by an abrupt nod in return. Dana gently pulled the privacy curtain shut. She turned to Lois and said, “I’m here for you, so you can tell me what you want to talk about. This will be my temporary office, so we’re bound by the same privacy rules and laws as we are when you come to my place of business.” She lifted one eyebrow. “Just keep your voice down and don’t expect the other patients or staff to adhere to those restrictions.”
Lois nodded. “I understand.” She lifted her hands and looked at them for several long breaths, then laid them across her belly with her fingers intertwined. “Do you know what happened to me tonight?”
“Not all of it. I know the fights were postponed and that you had some hand in that. I know that a man died while you were trying to save him, despite the fact that he’d abducted you at gunpoint just a little while before. Is that a good summary?”
“Yes. But add in the fact that the man who killed my attacker was Lex Luthor. He claimed to be saving my life, but it felt more like he was just waiting for the right moment to plug a potential leak. We could have learned so much from Menken, like who he reported to, who was actually bankrolling the operation, whose idea it was to involve my father, who the ‘we’ was that he kept threatening my dad with, if Lex Luthor really was involved and how deeply – you see what I mean?”
“Yes. The man was a potential fountain of information for you, but his death leaves the story incomplete.”
“Not just the story.” Lois paused and sniffed. “It leaves my dad swinging in the breeze with his – with his backside exposed. It’s possible the other person or people who were actually running the job will go after him and I – I don’t know if I can afford to lose him permanently.” She paused again and looked away. “We were close to reconnecting, Dana—” she held her index finger and thumb as near to the other as she could without touching “—we were that close to being father and daughter again! I don’t want to miss any more of that relationship than I already have.”
“Those are good points. But there’s something else about this case that’s weighing on you, isn’t there? Something that’s really bothering you.”
Lois looked at the ceiling, then sighed deeply. “I – I thought I was done with shooting and killing and having wounded people die under my hands. A year ago – maybe just six months ago – I might have shot Menken myself without a second thought, but not now. Not today. I have something to look forward to, something to live for.”
Dana gave her a subdued grin and lowered her voice. “I don’t suppose the ‘something’ has a name? And might ‘Clark’ be that name?”
Lois didn’t smile back, which concerned Dana. “I hope so. I couldn’t stand it if he pulled away from me now because I’d shot someone. I think I might shoot myself if that happened.” Lois looked to her therapist and friend. “If it means that I need to change something about myself to keep him close to me, I’ll do it. Especially if it’s something that society doesn’t think is a good thing, like putting bullets in random citizens.” She rubbed her face with her hands, then said, “On top of that, if I had shot Menken, it would have been for – I don’t know, revenge? Anger? Fear about what might happen to my dad?”
“Any of those things would have been the wrong reason, Lois. And it’s a sign of progress that you’re thinking of circumstances in that way these days. But now I’d like to ask you about Clark. It sounds to me like he’s very important to you.”
Lois nodded. “He is. And I need him to think good things about me. I can’t afford to lose him because I did something really stupid. Or something really bad.”
Before Dana could respond, the curtain flew open and Lucy shoved past the nurse who was trying to hold her back. “Lois! Are you all right? Did that idiot Luthor really shoot you? How badly are you hurt?”
Dana held up her hand in a “Stop In the Name of Love” motion and intercepted the younger woman. “Lucy, I’m Dana Friskin, Lois’ therapist. She’s not physically hurt and nobody shot her. They’re just keeping her overnight for observation because she’s been through a traumatic experience.”
“Traumatic? Really?” Lucy growled back. “Worse than live combat? She never needed a hospital any of those times!”
“Punky, calm down. I’m fine. It’s just—” Lois stopped and wiped her face. “Having that man die while I was trying to save him kinda shook me up, even if he was a terrible person.”
Lucy pushed past Dana to Lois’ bedside. “But you saw people die in the Middle East, good people, some of them while you were trying to save them! Why is this worse?”
“I guess – maybe it’s because – because I thought all that was behind me. I thought I’d never have to watch anyone else bleed out in my hands.” Lois dashed fresh tears from her eyes. “I – it just hit me, you know? Snuck up on me. And I – I had his blood all over my hands and it – I saw his eyes go flat as he died and he – I just couldn’t take it!”
Lucy put her head down on her sister’s chest and hugged her. “I understand. Not like I was there, but I know what you mean. It’s okay.” She let Lois hang on to her for another few seconds, then whispered, “Daddy wants to talk to you too.”
Lois’ face showed sudden alarm. “No! He can’t be seen in public! You have to keep him away from me!”
Lucy lifted her head and grinned. “It’s okay. He’s not here at the hospital. He’s in a safe place with Clark.”
“What? With Clark already? How’d he get there so fast?”
“I was at the admit desk when Clark and Daddy left. He stopped long enough to tell me where you were and that he was going to take Daddy to a safe place, and you know, you were right, if you act like you know what you’re doing and be assertive you can get away with lots of things. Although that one nurse threatened to report me to security when I took a wrong turn and ended up in a cubicle where a woman was giving birth. New momma was up to the cussing stage when I shut the drape and came over here.”
Dana put her hand on Lucy’s shoulder. “I think that’s enough about your trip for now. It almost sounds to me as if you were in more danger than Lois was tonight.”
“Not true, Doc. The only person who aimed anything at me was the woman giving birth, and her finger didn’t shoot anything at me.”
The three of them laughed softly, then the nurse stepped in and pointed at the curtain. “Come on, Miss Lane. You can wait in the visitor’s lounge or go home, but you can’t stay here. My patient needs to talk to her therapist and then get some sleep.”
Dana turned to see Cat Grant standing beside the curtain, her hands locked on the fabric and her face wet. That was not something the therapist expected to see.
She went to Cat and grabbed one hand to guide her to the chair beside Lois’ bed. “Catharine,” Dana whispered, “she’s okay. She’s not hurt. She just got a shock and she needs to sleep off the impact of it. Okay?” Cat didn’t acknowledge Dana at all. “Catharine? Can you hear me?”
Cat redirected the stream of fluid from her eyes with a brush of her free hand. “Yes. I can hear you. I just – I need to make sure Lois is okay.”
Lois reached out to her best friend and made a come-hither gesture with her fingers. “I’m fine, Thelma. We’ll drive off in the red T-bird yet.”
Cat almost laughed, then stood and moved to Lois’ side. As she entwined her fingers with Lois’, she said, “I’m driving, Louise, and don’t you forget it.”
Clark chose that moment to return. He put his hand on Cat’s and Lois’ joined hands. “Your dad is safe, Lois. I’m going to spend the night with him when I leave. I’m only here because he made me promise to check on you and make sure you were okay.”
Dana didn’t miss Lois’ smile. It was easy to see that it was for Clark alone. “How’d you get here so fast?” Lois asked.
“I walked out of the hospital and Superman asked me how you were. I told him you’d be okay and he asked me what I was doing. When I told him I was going to put your dad in a safe place, he said he’d take care of that as long as I joined him. I said I would as soon as I brought you up to date.”
Lois relaxed onto the bed again. “How’d Superman get mixed up in this?”
Clark shrugged. “He said he was already involved since he’d kayoed Garrison and captured the other boxers, and he didn’t want anyone else to get hurt. He said he understands how painful it is to lose a family member, so he’s making a special effort to prevent that from happening to you.”
She smiled and closed her eyes for a long moment. “That’s nice,” she mumbled. “He’s a good Superman.”
The nurse stepped between Lois and the rest of the group. “All right, people, I’m asserting my authority to take care of my patient. She really needs to sleep. Everybody out now.” She pointed a stiff index finger at Cat. “That includes you, Louise.”
“No,” Lois all but moaned. “She’s Thelma. I’m Louise.”
“Fine! Whoever you all are, just get out of this area so whoever this patient really is can sleep.” No one moved to go until her voice turned to obsidian and she said, “Now, people. Everybody out now.”
Dana and Lucy left, then Clark stopped just outside the curtain and looked back. Cat’s hand slipped from Lois’ and she almost staggered to the passageway between the trauma beds.
Dana patted Lois’ hand. “I’ll see you again soon. Do what these nurses tell you, okay?”
Lois sighed wearily. “If I have to.”
*****
Lois watched through half-closed eyes as Dana stepped past Cat with a smile and an encouraging pat. Then, to Lois’ utter astonishment, Cat leaned her head on Clark’s shoulder. His arm gently surrounded her.
No.
It couldn’t be!
But she’d seen it herself.
She must have caught them at an unguarded moment. Their joint posture told her that they’d gotten past whatever barriers had remained from their disastrous first meeting in college.
They’d gotten way past them. And, obviously, despite his strong hints to Lois about a relationship, Clark had made the choice between her and Cat.
He’d chosen to love Lois’ best friend.
Obviously, what she’d seen in the newsroom, the two of them standing so close to each other, wasn’t an anomaly. It had been a silent declaration.
They turned the corner into the hallway and she was glad she couldn’t see them anymore. In Lois’ mind, Cat was now in her spot in Clark’s arms, accepting his comfort and his embrace. She didn’t think they’d kiss passionately where Lucy could see them – at best, Lucy would yell and separate them, and at worst she’d try to put one or both of them in the emergency room.
But it didn’t matter. Lois knew she wasn’t worthy of Clark’s love and devotion. She’d always known it. She loved him and had desperately hoped that he’d stay with her, but she’d always recognized that she wasn’t good enough for him. He needed a woman who didn’t have a hair trigger on the weapon she always carried with her, someone who might shoot him with little or no real provocation. He needed a woman who could love him openly and fully, one who’d make him the most important person in her life.
That was something she didn’t have inside her anymore, assuming she ever had.
It was better this way. Cat could give him a healthy, loving heart. All Lois could hope to do would be to give him a damaged, limited heart and be an albatross around his neck.
She wiped her eyes and turned over in the horribly uncomfortable bed. He deserved more than she could give him.
She told herself, over and over, that she’d learn to live with it.
She didn’t convince herself.
*****
Lucy walked to the main ER door and paused. Behind her, Clark was escorting Cat from Lois’ bed with his arm around her. Her outside hand was holding the hand he’d wrapped around her shoulder, and her inside hand wiped away tears. Her steps were uneven and unsteady.
Clark nodded to Lucy as they approached the door. Lucy replied, “Cat, are you sure you don’t need your own room? You don’t look so good.”
Cat stopped and put one hand on Lucy’s shoulder. “I – I’m okay. Really. I – just got scared about Lois.”
Lucy let out a long breath. “Me, too. The cop who called me just said that there had been a shooting, that my sister was involved, and that she was being transported to Metro General. He did say that her life wasn’t in immediate danger, but he obviously didn’t have all his ducks in a row.”
Cat almost smiled. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”
Lucy turned firm eyes to Clark. “Speaking of something sounding about right, I seem to recall Lois telling me that you told her you wanted to date her and didn’t want a romantic relationship with Cat.”
His eyebrows rose and his eyes widened. “That’s right. I told her that.”
“Oh? Then what’s the deal with you two hanging on to each other like two ticks on a hound dog?”
Clark almost grinned as his hand floated away from Cat’s shoulder. “You’ve been taking vocabulary lessons from Perry, haven’t you?”
Lucy stepped closer to them and snarled, “Never mind! Just answer the question!”
Cat straightened and took a half-step away from Clark. “There’s no deal, Lucy! Clark and I are just friends! Honest! I was just using him to keep from falling down! That’s all!”
“You didn’t look like ‘just friends’ a minute ago!”
Clark put his hands on his hips and leaned toward her, glowering. “What Cat said is the truth. We absolutely do not have any kind of romantic relationship going. The only woman I’m that interested in is Lois, and I’ve told her that, too.” He dropped his hands, then stepped closer and loomed over Lucy. “And if you do or say anything that screws up the relationship between her and me, I will find you wherever you are and convince you that you should have kept your mouth shut.”
Lucy looked into his “chocolate brown eyes,” as Lois had described them, but saw only black obsidian and cold flame. She was convinced – Clark and Cat were definitely not a couple. Friends, yes, close co-workers, yes, special to each other, probably, but no romance there.
She blinked first. “I get it, okay? And I won’t say a word to Lois, I promise. I don’t want her to tie me to a stake and use me for target practice.”
Cat lifted one eyebrow. “You mess with that relationship and you won’t have to worry about Lois. I won’t give her a chance at you.”
Lucy lifted her hands in surrender and nodded once, convinced that she’d misread the Clark-Cat embrace completely wrong. Lois’ heart was safe with these two.
*****
Not long after midnight, Lois was moved to a private room two floors up. The food service people had served her what they laughingly called “lunch” before the hospital shrink examined her on his rounds. “How come Dr. Friskin can’t release me?” Lois grunted. “She knows my case better than you do.”
The shrink, who strongly resembled the man who’d played Marcus Welby on a TV series from the 60’s, smiled broadly. “Because she’s in private practice and doesn’t have privileges at this hospital. She’s allowed to see her patients who are admitted here, patients like you, but she can’t discharge them. And she can’t prescribe meds through the hospital, either, although she and I usually agree that drugs aren’t nearly as effective as good therapy in the long term.”
“So when are you letting me out?”
The doctor chuckled. “As soon as the internist tells us that you don’t have any physical injuries or symptoms. As far as I’m concerned, Miss Lane, you’re asymptomatic. Just take it easy for two or three days, and if you start to feel as if there’s a problem before your next scheduled session, I recommend you contact Dr. Friskin. You probably should have a session with her soon anyway. Ah, speaking of the internist, here’s Dr. Matthews.”
*****
Cat sat outside Lois’ room early that afternoon and fidgeted. She sat on the semi-comfortable couch and bounced her heels on the floor, got up and paced the waiting area, bought and consumed more candy and soft drinks from the vending machines than she should have, and made a young mother with a six-year-old nervous about being around her. Cat’s usual bright smile had given way to a taut mask of fear for Lois.
She’d been doing so well, thought Cat. She hadn’t drawn her weapon in weeks, hadn’t lapsed into uncontrolled anger, hadn’t donated to the cuss jar, hadn’t snarled at someone in the newsroom making a joke at the wrong time, none of that. Yet having Menken die under her hands seemed to have undone so much progress.
It wasn’t something to be ignored, nor could Lois just forget about it. No one could. Anyone would be deeply affected. But somehow the effect on Lois was more pronounced. It seemed to bring back too many memories from her combat experience, memories that threatened to put her progress in jeopardy. Cat was afraid that Luthor shooting Menken while Lois was that close to him might exacerbate her PTSD and make her harder to deal with. It might even put a serious crimp in her future recovery.
The day nurses, a man and woman whose names Cat didn’t know, strode into her room with a clipboard and a wheelchair. Lucy had already dropped off fresh clothing before accompanying Jimmy to the auto show. He had asked her to go with him the week before as a fellow spectator, and now they were subbing for Lois. It wasn’t much, and there would surely be lots of photos of the latest hot cars and future concept models accompanying his article, but it would be his first solo byline.
Lucy had also griped that Lois had asked Cat to take her home instead of Lucy driving Lois’ Jeep. There was some truth Lois’ claim that she didn’t want anyone else driving her precious baby, but Cat thought there was something else, too. So she’d drive Lois home in the Porsche.
No speed records this trip, either. Cat would make sure that Lois arrived home safely.
*****
The nurses helped Lois into the chair with no complaint from the patient. Lois grabbed the plastic bag with her hospital souvenirs and held it stiffly in her lap.
Maybe letting Cat drive her home wasn’t the best idea she’d had recently. The image of Clark holding Cat as they’d left her in the emergency room wouldn’t go away.
The male nurse pushed the wheelchair bearing Lois through the doorway to the room and turned toward the elevators. The female nurse nodded to Cat. “Hi, Ms. Grant. Is your car at the main admitting desk?”
Cat shook her head. “No, but it will be by the time Lois gets to the door. Unlike Ms. Slug-A-Bed here, I have a work assignment tonight and I don’t have time to waste.” She turned to Lois and smiled. “You ready to go?”
Lois couldn’t look at her best friend. She knew that all she’d see was the woman who’d taken Clark away from her. “Let’s get out of here.”
Cat nodded, then turned and all but ran to the stairwell. Lois, being in the wheelchair with the nurse pushing, had to wait for the elevator.
Lois loved Cat. And she hated her.
Lois wished Cat all the success life could give her. And she also hoped Cat fell on her face every day for the rest of her life.
Lois had never loved anyone and hated that someone with equal intensity at the same time. Not her father, not Claude, not Paul in college, not Irish Patrick, not anyone. Not even Lucy. The intensity of the paired emotions threatened to tear her heart apart.
She wasn’t sure she could take this pain.
