A/N: This is entirely the fault of Mouserocks and Endelda. Blame them.
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Lois stomped into the ice cream parlor, hitching up her wedding dress so that she wouldn’t trip over the train. The infernal garment seemed much more tight and constrictive than she remembered, and seemed almost determined to make her stumble. “A scoop of chocolate ice cream, please—Perry?!” she double-taked. Her boss—or rather, former boss, stood behind the counter, smiling pleasantly at her. “What are you doing here?”
“Had to go somewhere, Darlin',” he replied.
Lois shook her head and, despite her dress's best efforts, wriggled onto one of the high stools lined up along the counter. “Can I just get some chocolate ice cream, please?”
Perry shook his head. “I’m sorry, Darlin'; the chocolate ice cream isn’t speaking to you any more.”
“It…what?” Lois frowned in confusion. “What do you mean ‘not speaking to me’?!”
“You melted it, Lois,” a voice replied, and Lois looked up to see Jimmy dressed as a fifties era soda jerk, filling some glasses with rootbeer.
“Jimmy?!” Lois exclaimed. “What are you--?!”
“Had to go somewhere, Lois,” he replied.
Perry shook his head sadly and placed a large mixing bowl on the counter. “You melted the chocolate, Lois. I don’t know if it will ever forgive you.”
Lois leaned forward and peered into the bowl, her frown deepening at the white slush inside. “But that’s only vanilla!” she protested.
“One and the same,” Perry and Jimmy said together.
Just then, the little bell over the door chimed and Lois automatically turned to see who entered. She nearly fell off the stool when she saw the massive pyramid of icecream slowly oozing towards her.
“Ah,” said Jimmy, placing more glasses of rootbeer on the counter, “the gourmet ice cream you ordered is here.”
“What on earth?!” Lois stared as the thing oozed closer. Was she smelling fish?! “What is that?!”
“Only the finest, Lois,” said Jimmy, moving a few items off the counter to make room for yet more glasses of rootbeer. “Lobster flavored ice cream with caviar mixed in.”
Lois fought the urge to hurl. “I did NOT order that!”
The thing was coming even closer. She tried to get up and move away, but somehow her wedding dress was stuck to the seat. “I just wanted chocolate!” she said.
“You melted the chocolate,” Perry said, pointing once again to the clearly vanilla puddle in the bowl.
“No, I didn’t!” Lois insisted. “That is clearly vanilla! Oh god, someone save me from this thing!”
The huge pile of fishy ice cream was almost on top of her now, and Lois wondered if she herself was about to be eaten! Her dress seemed to be in cahoots with it, pinning her to the seat so she couldn’t get away. “Help! HELP ME!”
Just then, the bowl in Perry’s hands began to shake as though it were alive. Something brown began to flow over the sides.
Lois blinked. No, it wasn’t brown after all; it was still white. If anything, it looked even whiter than when she’d first seen it. It was spilling onto the floor, forming a massive puddle that ran right in the path of the mountain of lobster ice cream.
“Save me!” Lois whispered, and now there was a protective wall of vanilla ice cream between her and the fishy monstrosity.
Jimmy took a sip from one of the root beers. “See? We told you it was chocolate.”
***
Lois groaned and sat up, pressing a hand against her throbbing head. The empty carton of ice cream still sat on the coffee table beside her, next to the equally empty bottle of soda. She swung her legs over the side of the sofa and sat up, the sudden change in position making her stomach roil.
“Ugh…”
It took her a minute to realize someone was knocking at her door.
“Lois?” Clark’s voice called. “Are you okay?”
She stumbled to the door and opened it before he could knock again.
“Lois?” Clark seemed to double take. “You look—uh, I mean, are you—"
She threw her arms around him before he could finish forming a coherent sentence. “It was you!” she mumbled, her voice not quite working properly just yet.
“Lois?” he asked, sounding confused.
“You saved me from the fish ice cream even though I melted you!”
“…What?”
“In the park,” she explained, burying her face in his shoulder. “That’s when I melted you, because I thought I wanted chocolate! But you still tried to save me from fishy, gourmet Lex!”
She felt his arms come around her. “Lois…”
“I told him no,” she said, finally looking up into his eyes.
He looked amused. “Lois, that must have been some dream you were having.”
She shook her head. “No! Well, yes, but I mean in real life, at the wedding, before Henderson showed up, I told Lex I couldn’t marry him. I said no.”
Clark stared at her, his mouth opening and closing much like a fish. “Oh?”
She pulled back, his arms automatically loosening their hold as she did so. “I said no because…” She froze.
“Because?” Clark prompted, obviously curious.
She stepped away from him, shaking her head. She couldn’t do it. The words were too scary.
“You had cold feet?” Clark guessed.
She looked up at him again, remembering the devastated look on his face that day in the park.
He shrugged. “Lois, whatever happened, I’m just glad that you—”
She kissed him. Before she could lose the nerve. Before she could remember all of the many sound reasons why she should NOT be kissing him.
When she finally pulled away, he stared at her, dumbstruck.
“That’s why,” she whispered.
“Lois…” He leaned forward. Their lips met again. They probably had a lot to discuss now, but at the moment, all she could think was: this was *much* better than chocolate ice cream.
The End
