Previously - Chapter 32 ***
Chapter 33 ***
Perry didn’t take them home.
How could he? Neither of them really had a home at the moment. Lois had no interest in ever setting foot in Lex’s house ever again. And Clark no longer lived in Metropolis. Instead, Perry dropped them off at his fishing cabin that just happened to be on the way back to Metropolis and he offered to make them some lunch before heading back to town.
She spent much of the time since they left the house at the bottom of the bluff crying silently while Clark held her hand as they rode in the back seat of the borrowed car. Every time she thought she’d pulled herself together, more tears would come. She hoped she would be able to have more control over her emotions once the shock of everything that had happened that morning wore off.
They stopped a few places on the way to the cabin to get a few necessary items that neither of them had at this point. Clark kept a tight yet gentle grip on her hand as they shopped for necessities – clothing, toiletries. Nat King Cole CDs.
A pregnancy test.
And Clark. Clark was a constant source of strength and, though she didn’t understand how he managed it when everything was so muddled, she needed him to be strong. Maybe it was his Smallville upbringing, that resiliency that his parents instilled in him. Maybe it was the innate goodness he possessed that pushed him to help in a situation he thought he shouldn’t be in and didn’t understand. It didn’t matter why. What mattered was that he was there.
What can I say, dear, after I say I'm sorry?
What can I do to prove it to you, I'm sorry?
I didn't mean to ever be mean to you
If I didn't care I wouldn't act like I do As they drove to the cabin, Perry played the new CDs in the car. None of the songs seemed to have any effect on Clark, but the songs brought up all sorts of memories for her, from her childhood to this morning’s misadventures. The mind-boggling onslaught of memories threatened to overwhelm her. She snuggled against Clark’s side, staring out at the passing landscape, trying to think instead about the safe haven she found in his arms..
They reached the cabin just before lunchtime. Perry ushered them in and gave them a quick tour of the tiny getaway. Lois wasn’t able to pay attention. She numbly followed them around as Clark politely asked questions and then directed her to the bathroom. Perry went to make lunch for them.
The cabin boasted a small sunroom that faced west. Barely large enough to hold the two Adirondack chairs and table, it was at least warm despite the wintry conditions outside. Lois relaxed in one of the chairs, her feet tucked under her, staring out at the snow-covered landscape. Clark lounged in the other beside her. He had moved the small table out of the way, pulled his chair up next to hers and intertwined their fingers.
They waited in awkward silence for what surely would be the longest five minutes of her entire life.
The stars would cry in the blue if you said no
Their tears would fall like the dew if you said no
The fragrance of the flowers would fade if you turned away
And the warmth of the summer day would leave me so cold “Are you okay?” he asked quietly, squeezing her hand.
“Um… yeah,” she responded, not sure if it was the right answer.
“Lois,” he said, drawing her eyes to him. “It will all work out.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do.” He looked into her eyes as he brought her hand up to kiss and then tenderly caressed her fingers.
She leaned her head back, unsure. Her nerves were in shambles. She’d replayed everything in her mind that had taken place that would have indicated she was pregnant. It was really only the nausea and vomiting. And the fact that she really couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a period. But there was so much she didn’t really remember that she couldn’t be sure if it had or had not happened. Her stomach groaned now, but it was still empty and the stress of waiting surely played a role in that.
The countless stars in the heavens are trembling above
So don't say no, I beg of you, don't say no to my love She glanced over at Clark. He held her hand to his chest and she could feel his strong and steady heartbeat. He leaned his head back on the chair and let out a deep breath while closing his eyes. His face was relaxed and even without a smile, he looked happy.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked.
“You,” he said without moving, without hesitation. The corners of his mouth rose. “How we’re married. How much I love you. How lucky I am to have you back.”
“How can you be so calm right now?” she asked, shaking her head.
You're my everything
Underneath the sun
You're my everything
Rolled up into one He slowly rolled his head toward her, but his unfocused eyes and frown told her he was remembering something. She sat up, welcoming the distraction, and faced him. Seconds later, he shook his head and saw her. A smile grew across his face.
“What is it?” she asked, eager to know what he now knew.
“Our first date.” He reached for her face and caressed her cheek. “You slammed the door in my face.” He chuckled then, and it lightened her heart. “Do you remember?”
She nodded as she smiled. Her heart head been a jumble of emotions then, feeling so much attraction to her partner, but not understanding him. “I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was so scared.” She laughed then too and the weight on her shoulders continued to lift. She took a deep breath, feeling like she might be ready to face their future together. “How much time do we have left?” she asked.
Slipping his fingers to the back of her neck, he pulled her closer and gently pressed his lips to hers. “All the time in the world,” he said.
She smiled at his non-answer. “No, I mean the test.”
As if on cue, the digital timer that sat on the table Clark had moved out of the way dinged and Lois felt her heart stop.
“It can wait,” he said, kissing her again. “I don’t care what the answer is.”
She smiled and then she whispered against his lips, “but I have to know.”
***
He kissed her once more before sitting back in his chair. He could see the tears threatening to spill from her eyes and it made his heart ache. He wished he could take it all from her. He wished he’d never left. He wished he still had his powers. He’d do anything to fix this for her. But he couldn’t play the ‘if-only’ game. It was the way it was. What he could do was be there, supporting her, loving her.
“Do you want me to check it?” he asked.
She nodded, and a tear escaped. He released her hands to stand up and watched as she swept them away.
“Come with me,” he said, holding his hand out to her.
She looked at his outstretched hand and then took it as she raised her eyes to meet his. Her hand trembled as he tucked it under his arm. They walked slowly together through the cabin, the smell of chicken and dumplings in the air. Perry wasn’t paying any attention to them, thankfully. He was in the equally small kitchen off of the main room, humming Elvis tunes as he worked.
A few steps and they would be there at the threshold of the bathroom – the threshold of the rest of their lives.
“No,” she said suddenly, tugging on his arm, stopping him. “I don’t want to know anymore.” She shook her head and tried to back away, but he kept hold of her hand.
“Lois, it will be okay,” he soothed.
“No, it
won’t!” He could hear the panic in her soft voice. She yanked her hand from his arm and began gesturing with them as she explained, “If I am pregnant with that slime ball’s evil spawn, I’ll have it months from now-”
“Lois…” he tried to interrupt.
“-and you’re going to leave me once you figure out that you don’t want anything to do with it or me-”
“Lois,” he tried again, putting his hands on her shoulders.
“-and then I’ll be alone and have to take care of it by myself-”
“Lois!” he said, lifting her face to his. “Stop!”
Her rant stalled, her eyes were wide with worry, her brows raised. “I can’t do it,” she cried.
“Yes, you
can, Lois,” Clark started, determined. Grasping her face gently with his hands, he continued, “I will
not leave you. So what if you are pregnant? That baby will be half you and
anything that comes from you will be amazing and I’ll love it just as much as I love you. No matter what.”
He paused and dared to smirk at her, sliding his fingers to the back of her neck and into her hair. “Besides, according to Perry, we were married for a whole week before I left. You couldn’t possibly think we wouldn’t have …” He let the idea float between them and smiled as he saw understanding dawn on her face in the form of a blush.
“Clark,” she started, but he didn’t let her finish.
“I hate that I can’t remember it right now, but there is no doubt in my mind that it happened. Maybe you were already pregnant.” He hesitated a moment, considering whether he should reveal his next thought. But if it alleviated any of her anxiety, it would be worth it. “And … if you weren’t and you are now ... Well, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. I’m not human. What if this is the only way …”
Her hand on his cheek stopped him, her eyes fixed on his.
“That’s how I’ve been able to remain calm through all this, Lois – I have hope. And I refuse to let that
slime ball, as you put it, ruin our life together.” He kissed her then, there in the hall outside the bathroom of the cabin they would stay in for a few days while putting that life back together.
She pulled back and looked up into his eyes again. “Okay,” she said softly. And he accepted this as a small victory, the first of many.
“Okay,” he repeated. Releasing her, he took her hand once more as he opened the bathroom door and picked up the pregnancy test that lay face down on the counter. He turned to face her, holding it face down between them. He gave her a reassuring smile before turning it over.
“Positive,” they said in unison.
“Hey, you two!” Perry called from the kitchen as Clark smiled at Lois. “Soup’s on! Get yourselves comfy on the couch and I’ll bring it to ya.”
Lois, her eyes wide and face pale, didn’t seem to hear the announcement any more than she saw Clark’s reaction. Standing there with her mouth open, he’d never seen her looking more beautiful. However this had happened, he saw it as a blessing.
Clark pitched the pregnancy test and led her to the small living room. He sat next to her on the couch, her hand still in his, as Perry came in from the kitchen carrying a bowl for each of them.
“Lois?” Perry asked when she didn’t reach for the bowl.
Clark took the bowls from Perry and set them on the small coffee table in the middle of the small room. While he was bursting at the seams to tell everyone, truly embracing this as he said he would, he wasn’t sure if Lois wanted to tell anyone at all. So, he waited for her to answer.
“What’s the matter, honey?” Perry asked as he sat on the corner of the small coffee table.
“I’m pregnant,” she said. She squeezed Clark’s hand and looked to him with just barely a smile. Clark couldn’t stop his smile and reached his other arm around her.
“Oh…well…” Perry stammered, sitting up straight.
“Looks like we’ll be starting our family sooner rather than later.” She turned to face Perry and smiled. A genuine, if reserved, smile.
“I guess congratulations are in order?” Perry asked. At her nod, he patted her knee and reached to shake Clark’s hand.
“Thanks, Chief,” she said, letting out a deep breath.
“It’s a lot to take in,” Clark admitted.
“Of course, it is.” Perry chuckled. “I guess I’ll get out of here so you two can … uh … take it in.” He placed his hands on his knees and pushed himself up to standing. Gathering his things, he continued, “There’s a truck parked out back and the keys are in the kitchen drawer. You guys stay as long as you need. We’ll get everything worked out later.”
“Thanks, Perry,” Clark said.
They stayed seated on the small couch as Perry shut the door behind him. Clark’s eyes never left Lois. He knew she was still in shock over everything, just as he was. “You told him,” he said.
“I’m sorry. Every excuse I thought of was lame and I couldn’t think of anything else to say and you know he would have just seen right through it anyway. Hell, he probably knew before we got here,” she babbled, pausing to catch a breath before looking at him. “You don’t mind, do you?”
“No,” he said, his smile growing.
“I’m glad you’re so happy about all this,” she said, her sarcasm evident. “What kind of weird family are we going to make?”
“I don’t care,” he affirmed, raising his eyebrows. “It will be
our family.”
Lois shook her head. “How can you be so happy? I mean, I get what you said earlier, but … So much has happened in the last twenty-four hours. All I feel like doing is screaming and weeping and throwing things and laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you-” she paused, and poked him in the chest, “-
you are almost grinning ear to ear and I just don’t get it.”
“Lois,” he began, dropping the grin and turning to face her, “I have literally just crawled out of a hole that had me questioning why I was even alive. Even though I haven’t remembered much, I know enough. After I saw you this morning, once you touched me …” He took her hand and began tracing circles on her palm. “I knew that everything I thought I knew about you had to be wrong. And now, I have more than I thought I’d ever have a week ago.” He paused and shrugged, allowing the smile to return. “Maybe I’m on some kind of high, but I hope it doesn’t wear off anytime soon. You are worried enough for the both of us.”
Lois frowned, and Clark watched her mouth open and her lips twist as she decided how to respond. He had the distinct impression he’d seen that exact look before and wished he could remember it.
“You questioned why you were alive?” she said softly.
“I was completely miserable.” As he leaned in, he traced her jaw with his fingers and ran his thumb across her lower lip. “I’m lost without you.”
“Me too,” she breathed, leaning closer to him and meeting his eyes.
Her eyes glistened as her lips begged him to kiss her. Oh, how he missed her. “I love you,” he whispered before kissing her. Something in the way she responded was so familiar and yet so new, and he savored it.
***
Comments go here! Chapter 34 will be posted on July 28.
