Previously - Chapter 14 ***
Chapter 15 ***
January 22, 1996
The rings she wore to signify her marriage to Lex flashed in the sunlight as Lois turned them over in her hands. After getting in the car with Scott, she took them off and now sat, her head on the headrest, as she watched the scenery go by, unseeing. Her thoughts were a jumble of contradictions.
Angry that Lex had done … something to her.
Moved by what appeared to be his genuine affection for her.
Charmed by his unwavering adoration and considerate behavior, especially when she kept running from him every time he tried to be intimate.
Ashamed that she couldn’t shake those affections for him even knowing most of those memories were lies.
Distressed by the memories with Lex that were real.
Angry at herself for letting Clark down.
Desperate to know what happened to Clark.
Terrified of the possibilities.
Determined to get out of this and put everything back to normal.
Not
normal.
Things could never go back to
normal…
Lois closed her eyes to the scenery and her thoughts. A tear slipped own her cheek and she took a slow deep breath. Spending time thinking like this was not productive, it would only hinder her ability to think clearly and work toward her goal. She needed to focus, instead, and remember that she and Clark had overcome everything they’d been through. Surely this would be no different. She had to believe that.
“I hope you don’t mind,” Scott interrupted her introspection, “I called ahead to the chateau and let them know we would be late. Since you are so
sick with this
pregnancy, we’ll have to make additional stops and won’t arrive at the time Lex told them yesterday.”
Not much had been said since she got into the car with Scott, as she just sat and thought. Now, she laughed at the reference to her
condition but was pleased that it would give them an excuse to take it slow. “Scott, I’m not really pregnant,” she corrected.
“I know,” he said, releasing a small laugh, “But this will give us time to make it to Clark before Lex figures out we’re gone.”
Lois quickly turned to face him, shifting her body. “You know where he is?” she asked.
“Our flight leaves in just under an hour from Metropolis International Airport.”
“Oh Scott,” she exclaimed. “Where is he?”
“Columbia, Missouri,” Scott informed her. “We sent him back to Kansas, but his dad sent him to Columbia. He’s working for the paper there.”
“
We?” Lois picked up on the word. Had she heard him correctly? He had something to do with all of this?
She could see the self-reproach in his features, weighing how he would answer the question. “Yeah,” he finally said, guilt coloring his response.
“You ... had a hand in this?” she asked, confused.
“Yeah,” he repeated with the same sad tone of voice, knuckles whitening as he gripped the steering wheel tightly. “And while I don’t expect you to believe me, I have never regretted anything more.” He glanced at the treble clef on his wrist before he turned and looked at her, eyes beseeching. “You can trust me. I’m on your side now and I will help until everything is–”
“What happened?” she interrupted, needing answers to an overflow of questions.
He sighed. “In short, Lex Luthor paid me and some other guys to ... incapacitate Superman…” He paused and looked at her before he continued, “Clark … change his and your memories and then do whatever else we needed to make it work.”
She barely heard the admission of his knowledge of Clark’s secret after the word
incapacitate knocked the breath from her. Her mouth hung open and she took short, quick breaths.
“I don’t really know why.” She heard him pause and saw him look at her, but her mind was stuck. “I know now that Lex Luthor is the worst kind of monster. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”
Incapacitate. The word hung in the air thick with dread until she remembered Scott’s words at the party.
He is alive and … well. She grasped that bit of information and held it close. Swallowing, she looked away. Agonizing over what had happened would not solve anything. Forcing herself to focus on the immediate situation, she responded, “I know he’s a monster. But everything is … mixed up in my head. It’s like I can’t shake the stuff that I know is wrong.” She leaned her head back on the headrest, turning to look out the window. “It’s ... overwhelming, exhausting”
“That should wear off over time. Eventually, you’ll remember everything that was real, but I don’t know how long that will take. And the fake stuff … I don’t know if it will go away.”
“When did it happen?” she asked.
“About two months ago.”
“When Superman left…” she thought out loud. “How many people know … the secret?”
“Five,” he answered.
She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. They’d worked so hard to keep this secret. And now five criminals could do anything they wanted with that information. Thankfully, it seemed one of them had seen the error of his ways.
“Lex, of course, me, and three others that were working on this,” he went on. “I worked with Hightower. Did whatever he told me to. Then as your cameraman, I was your … guard.”
“
Doctor Hightower?” she asked as she knit her brows.
Scott nodded and explained, “He built the device that did all this memory changing. Some woman named Montgomery took care of Superman and Carl–”
“Carl?!” Lois shouldn’t be surprised. Yes, Carl was very thoughtful and relatable and all her interactions with him over the last two months were such that she thought of him as a friend. But his right-hand man, Nigel St. John, and his personal assistant, Mrs. Cox, had their fingers in every bit of Lex’s plans. She rolled her eyes. “How’d you know how to ... get me to remember? It was the song, right?”
Scott shrugged as if it were some small thing he’d done. Nodding, he explained, “I heard Hightower talking one day about a key to the machine. Some great joke he had. Once I decided to stop this, I thought about that key. The rest was a lot of guessing…and being wrong.”
“You didn’t know which song.” Thinking back over the past couple weeks, there were many occasions where Scott would start singing with no prompt like he had these songs stuck in his head. He never sang them very loud and now she realized that he had studied her after the first few lines before continuing. The singing started just after his sister, Samantha, died. She thought it was related to his grieving, but apparently, it was not.
“Here we are at the airport,” he interrupted her train of thought. “We’re flying as usual, reporter and cameraman.”
“We’re flying under our
real names?” She couldn’t keep the shock from her voice. It was over. Lex would find them in a heartbeat.
“I know it’s not ideal.” Scott shrugged. “But I don’t have that kind of money and flying on the company dollar was the only way I saw it being possible. I bought us some time letting them know we’d be late. We’ll just have to work fast once we get there.”
She sighed. This was going to be tough. Would they have enough time? How long would it take Lex to realize his wife and her cameraman hadn’t shown up where they were supposed to?
Lois Lane, reporter for LNN and her trusted cameraman, Scott Ferguson. How had that not felt awkward for him for the past two months? Or had it?
“Thank you,” she said, realizing that it didn’t matter what role Scott had played, he was serious about making it all better.
“No problem,” he said, brushing off her gratitude. Did he feel like he owed her?
They pulled up to the departing flights terminal and parked.
“One more question, Scott?” she asked, reaching to stop him before he got out of the car.
“Yeah?” He sat back just enough to turn and look at her.
“Am I actually married to Lex?” she asked frowning, not sure what she wanted the answer to this question to be.
“Um … Yeah … As far as I know.”
***
Lex sat in his office leaning back in the chair at his desk with his eyes closed. 48 hours ago, preparations were underway for his second wedding anniversary with his beautiful wife. 36 hours ago, the celebration was just beginning. 34 hours ago, he was worried about her sudden illness. 24 hours ago, he received the best news of his life. 18 hours ago, he realized things were not as good as they seemed. And one hour ago, he watched her leave, taken to a place where she would be safe. Now, he was determined to take back control of the situation and waited impatiently to speak with the only person who could offer some assurance that all was not lost.
His Lois.
He’d seen what the morning sickness, however briefly it had been occurring, was doing to her. He had surprised himself by suggesting she sleep in the guest room. But her usual glow, though still brightened by pregnancy, was slightly dimmed by the dark circles under her eyes. And he wasn’t sure how much she was able to keep down yesterday. The fatigue had gotten the better of her last evening and he knew she needed rest in her condition.
A knock at the door brought him back from his woolgathering. He called for whomever it was to come in and was pleased to see Dr. Hightower follow Carl into the room.
“You wanted to see me, Mr. Luthor?” Hightower asked.
“Yes,” Lex began, using his hand to indicate that Hightower take a seat and simultaneously nodding to Carl permission to leave. Once they were both seated, Lex leaned forward, tenting his fingers and frowning at Hightower. “Tell me, Hightower,” Lex started, leaning back in his seat. “You did test your machine on pregnant women. Am I right?”
“Yes sir,” he replied with a nod.
“Was there ever any danger to the fetus?” Lex certainly had other questions that he wanted to ask the doctor, but this trumped them all. He couldn’t put the baby at risk, even if it meant a tense time with Lois as a captive. He would cope, though, if necessary, but hoped for a different outcome.
“No sir.” Hightower’s serious look and continued eye contact spoke well for him, easing some of Lex’s worries. “We were affecting memories directly through contact with the brain or through sight. While infants do have short term memories, at that young age they aren’t kept. Our devices don’t connect with the fetus, however, under any circumstances.”
Relief filled him as he released the breath he’d been holding. He relaxed comforted by the fact that he should be able to proceed as he had hoped.
“Lois is pregnant,” he stated, smiling to himself.
“Congratulations, sir.” Hightower nodded.
“Thank you.” Lex carefully worded his next question. “Could the hormones associated with pregnancy affect the permanence of the procedure?”
“No sir,” Hightower responded with a frown. “The changes that we made to the brain are independent of hormones.”
The furrowed brow gave Lex pause. Was something amiss? He would not put up with this behavior. He slowly rose from his chair, walked around to the front of the desk and leaned against it, facing Hightower.
“You’re certain?” Lex asked with a raised eyebrow, looking for any signs of duplicity.
“Yes,” he said confidently, though his brow was still furrowed. Hightower appeared unconcerned by this, sure of himself, sure of his work.
“I fear Lois has remembered a few things.” Lex continued to watch him carefully. He was sure the slightest glimpse of doubt crossed Hightower’s face before the doctor schooled his features.
“That’s impossible,” he said, his eyes darting away and then back quickly. While he appeared to have the same confidence now, he was a fool to be arrogant on the outside. Lex’s patience and respect for the man waned.
“That is where you are wrong,” Lex pointed out as he stood and walked to the window. “Yesterday afternoon, I read a notebook that I found at home. My dear investigative reporter is emerging and is attempting to make sense of it. The notebook had accounts of several events that were altered. Both real and fake, side by side. ” He took a deep breath as he turned, staring directly at Hightower. “You will tell me how this is possible.”
“I have no idea.” There was that fear again in Hightower’s eyes, briefly still. He
was hiding something. “We tested extensively.” Lex could tell Hightower tried to sound sure, convinced. But it was the small things that Lex paid attention to, allowing him to see through the facade.
“I see.” Lex relaxed a bit, allowing his businessman persona to take over. Hightower would feel his wrath in time. Until then, he would need Hightower once more. “I’ll need you to repeat the procedure.”
“Certainly, sir,” Hightower agreed. A little too quickly?
“I want you to bring whatever you need to this address tomorrow morning,” he instructed as he quickly scribbled the address.
Tomorrow morning couldn’t come soon enough.
***
“Lana!” a familiar voice called to her. She turned to see Clark jogging toward her. “Wait up!”
Of course, he would find her here. He knew her schedule. She silently berated herself for being so predictable as she leaned to her friend. “I’m sorry, I should talk to him,” she told her as she adjusted the shoulder strap of her bag. “I’ll meet you in the library.” Her friend looked in Clark’s direction before nodding and walking away.
Lana stood there, her arms full of the folders and books she hugged to her chest, as Clark closed in. “Hey Clark,” she said, feeling shy as he stopped in front of her.
“Can we talk?” he asked as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “For a bit?” he added, turning his sweet puppy dog eyes on her.
She could never stay mad at him, especially when he always seemed so remorseful. But it had never taken him this long to come around. “Sure,” she replied, knowing what they needed to talk about, but hoping it was something else he would bring up. But as Clark shifted his weight from one foot to the next, she knew it would not be an easy conversation.
“Lana,” he started, looking down at his toes. “I … I need you to tell me what you heard me say in my sleep.” He looked up at her face then, silently imploring her to agree.
But, instead, her anger flared, and she aimed it directly at him “Clark, I –” she started forcefully.
“Please,” he interrupted, his pleading tone doing much to subdue her. “I’ve been trying to remember and all I can come up with is how I ruined her life and she hates me. I want to fix things between us, but I don’t know what you heard me say and I can’t imagine how anything I say about her would ever be anything but negative.” He paused then and turned his pleading eyes to her again before adding, “I
need your help.”
She sighed. The mix of emotions was almost too much. How was she to respond to that? He was supposed to figure this out on his own and come back to her with an apology. This request would require her to live it all over again. His pleading eyes tore at her resolve. She turned her head to the side and looked off into the distance. “I don’t know if I can have this conversation,” she said honestly.
“Remember that dream I had in high school that I was mad at
you for?” Clark asked. He gestured for her to walk with him down the sidewalk away from the library and then put his hands out toward her to carry her things for her.
“What dream?” she asked, falling into step beside him.
“The one where you were kissing some guy,” he explained, “and thought it was perfectly reasonable.”
“Oh, yeah.” She rolled her eyes at the memory. “That wasn’t fair. It was a dream. It never even happened.”
“Well, this is kind of like that,” Clark pointed out. “I was dreaming and it never happened yet you’re mad at me for it. I don’t think it’s fair that you’re mad at me for something I said when I was asleep.” He paused but she didn’t look at him. “Especially without telling me what I said…” he added.
He was right. But she wasn’t ready to admit it … yet. They walked in silence for a moment. She remembered that
situation well. He was so mad at her and she had no idea why. She’d had to plead with him to even talk to her about it. When he’d finally told her why he was mad, it took more convincing for him to believe her than she had expected.
She sighed and shook her head. He deserved an explanation, and then he could convince her this time around.
“It was weird,” she began, her steps slowing slightly. “The first time I heard you talking, you seemed to be trying to tell her something. But your alarm clock went off. You kept talking like it was the phone and she needed to answer it.” She ducked her head, feeling the embarrassment of the mistake she made. “I thought you were talking to me.”
“Did I ever tell her that something?” he asked.
They neared the end of the sidewalk and she allowed him to lead her to the right, toward the courtyard at the center of campus.
“No,” she admitted. “Not even later.”
“What do you mean ‘later’?” he questioned. “It happened again?”
“Yeah,” she answered simply, unwilling to admit that she had often wondered what secret he had to share. Sometimes she’d even stayed close to listen in on the conversation, but not after she realized he wasn’t talking to her.
“What else?” he prompted, catching her attention with his hand gesturing for more.
She closed her eyes and swallowed. Was this how Clark had felt telling her about his dream? “The next night you were trying to tell her something again but got interrupted by another ringing telephone that you just had to answer.”
He gave a small laugh “Alarm clock?”
She laughed in response, glancing at him to see a little of the tension leave his face. “No. But, you did answer it. You said something about telling the world, but then seemed really upset saying, ‘let them go’.”
“Hmmm … But I didn’t say who to let go, or who I was talking to?” She gave a small shake of her head. And turned her face downward. “Keep going,” he encouraged. “This isn’t as bad as you thought it would be, right?”
Is it? she thought to herself. It certainly felt awkward to her. And they hadn’t yet reached the worst of it. But they would have to keep going.
The sidewalk led them to a fountain in the middle of the long courtyard surrounded by various buildings. Lana sat down on the edge of the fountain. Clark stood a few feet from her, looking into the pool behind her, the sunlight bouncing from its surface reflecting on his face. She was saddened by the stress and worry written on his face.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly before continuing. “The night after that, you were telling her that your parents were kidnapped. I guessed she wanted to help you find them because you thanked her.”
“Thanked her?” Clark said, surprised. “That’s definitely
not the Lois I remember. She might have been the one to kidnap them…” The last part he said under his breath, but she heard it. He stepped to her side and sat down beside her, setting her things on the edge of the fountain.
She saw him glance at her hands and moved them to her pockets to prevent him from taking them. She wouldn’t be able to cope with the conflicting feelings.
“The next night you seemed to think something bad was going to happen to her and were telling her to get away as far as she could.” She paused and looked down the long sidewalk in front of them. “I guess the bad thing happened because the night after that you were yelling for her later, telling her to live, fight…breathe.” She looked toward her shoes and crossed her feet. “‘Don’t you die on me, Lois,’ you said.”
She glanced at him then, at the incredulous look on his face. Was it really so unbelievable? “Did she die?” he asked tentatively.
“No,” Lana sighed and slumped her shoulders, preparing for the next part of the story. “She didn’t die. But you were talking to her about how you almost lost her and it made you think about how ashamed you were.”
Clark snapped his fingers and pointed at her. “That’s the Lois I remember,” he said. “The one who could make anyone feel like the worst possible-”
“No,” she interrupted forcefully, fisting her hands and turning to look at him with disdain. “You were ashamed because you hadn’t told her that you
love her.”
“What??” Clark was taken aback as she allowed the hurt to show. “Lana, you know this was just a dream, right?”
Fuming, she did her best to ignore his question. He needed to know what this did to her, to understand why she was so upset. Looking back at the ground, she kept going with the retelling of the story. “You said something like… you were ashamed because you kept pushing her away even when you said you wouldn’t and she couldn’t have died before she knew why.”
“Why I pushed her away?” Clark asked. “Or why she could have died?”
“How should I know,” she spat at him and rolled her eyes.
Clark clearly regretted asking that question and sat back silently.
“You said,” she pressed on, pausing to take a breath. “’If you died without ever knowing why, I’d never be able to forgive myself…because I
love you.’” She let out a deep breath in an attempt to control her emotions and stood up, pacing back and forth in front of Clark who remained seated on the edge of the fountain.
Now it was his turn.
“Lana?” His brow furrowed, concern filling his voice and relieving some of her anger. “It was just a dream.” He reached for her hand as she passed and pulled her to a stop, exactly the way she was hoping he would. She didn’t meet his eye, but instead looked upward. “Why is this so upsetting to you?” he asked in his deep, caring voice.
“It wasn’t just once,” she retorted. She pulled her hand but was comforted when he didn’t let it go. “This was like five dreams and it happened again and again.” She felt the tears gathering in the corner of her eye and looked away.
“How many times?”
“I don’t know … Three?”
***
Three? Why hadn’t she said this before? He saw the tear streak down her face as she tugged her hand free and went back to pacing.
“Was it the same every time?” he asked as he stood up.
“No,” she said in a slightly higher pitch indicating her frustration. She swung her right arm out as she began, “The first time I heard it, it wasn’t bad. I actually thought you were dreaming about me. But the second time through, you said
Lois a bunch of times. That made me a little angry, but…” She stopped pacing and let her arm drop by her side. “The last time, you said
Lois almost every time you talked so it was
very clear you were talking to her.” Lana paused and wiped her arm across her face. “You sounded so… sincere.” She opened her mouth to continue but no sound came out.
He could see the anguish in her eyes and desperately wanted to fix it. “What?” Clark prompted. “What is it?” Holding her eyes with his, he waited for her to go on.
She closed her eyes before she started again. “When you found me in the kitchen the other night, you’d just asked her to marry you ... again,” she said crossing her arms.
“
Marry me??” Clark croaked out. He tried not to laugh at the absurdity of it. “This is just so … unbelievable!”
Lana didn’t say anything but instead quickly wiped at her eyes again. Clark wasn’t surprised at that – it made sense now why she was so upset. Hestepped closer to her and when she didn’t seem to be offended by that, he reached out and put his hands at her waist. She relaxed a bit at his touch and rested her head on his chin. He knew she needed him to convince her everything was going to be alright.
“Lana, I …” he started not sure what to say. “I’m sorry. I see why you were …
are so upset by this. I wish I could go back and change it.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “Thank you… for telling me all this. I know it was hard. But it
was just a dream.”
Lana let out a choked laugh. “I guess it’s not fair to be upset with you for a dream you didn’t even know you had.”
Clark chuckled. “And I guarantee that is not
at all like the interactions I actually had with her.”
Lana finally reached her arms around him and Clark felt like things would finally go back to normal. “Yeah,” she said, “I just … was worried.”
“I know and I’m sorry,” Clark apologized again, leaning his head down. “You don’t need to worry about it anymore.”
Movement to his right caught his attention. Lana said something, but Clark didn’t hear it. He was looking over her shoulder into a face that froze him in place and filled him with guilt and humiliation.
Lois? “Clark?” he heard Lana say.
He felt her head turn to see where he had been looking but he quickly grabbed her attention. “We have to go.” Clark quickly picked up Lana’s things, grabbed her hand and started walking in the opposite direction of the face he saw. He had to get away, to hide. The campus was not very crowded at this time in the morning, but enough people would be in the library to blend in with.
“What’s the matter?”
“Uh... nothing,” he stammered as he led her up the steps to the library doors. “I don’t want you to miss any more of your study session.” It was at least partially true.
As they walked through the library, he did his best to convince himself that that face outside did
not belong to Lois. Surely, it was just a result of the conversation they were having. He walked her to the room where her study group was working on some large project spread over a large table and set her things in a chair in the corner.
Aside from the unfortunate end to their conversation, he was pleased with how things had turned out. “Come stay with me tonight,” he whispered as reached for her other hand, intent on proving where his affections lay.
She looked up at him and smiled. “Okay.”
He smiled back at her, gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and squeezed her hand before he left.
As he came to the doors leading out of the library, he scanned all the faces of the passersby, looking for the one that could induce incredible amounts of remorse and fearing he would see it. Once he was sure she wasn’t near, he left and quickly made his way back to the paper, where he hoped this shadow couldn’t follow him.
***
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