Previously - Chapter 11 ***
Chapter 12***
Lois was relieved that she had some time to clean up, relax, and figure out what she would do with out Lex around. He was still gone when she finished her shower. She went in search of the photo albums that they kept on a bookshelf in the living room. She remembered looking through them on occasion with Lex and wondered if seeing the photos would help her figure out what was real.
As Lois walked through their house, she felt at odds, it was both familiar and new at the same time. She couldn’t shake the overwhelming confusion that seemed to follow her around. She had come in the front door, placed her keys in the bowl on the table and then walked down this hallway countless times. But looking down the hall at the closed front door made it seem like it was just a dream. Yet here she was in the very house in which that dream took place.
In the living room, she found the shelf and pulled several of the photo albums. The albums were not labeled but were different colors that she couldn’t quite explain the meaning of. She sat down in the middle of the same sofa that she had slept on last night and set all but one of the albums next to her on the seat.
The first album was burgundy and sported a faux suede feel. She opened its cover and found a picture of her and Lex dressed for their wedding. It was a close-up picture of just their faces looking at each other. No big grins or huge smiles, but instead, intense faces as if they were about to kiss.
The nausea came back. Every time she thought about the predicament she was currently trapped in, how she was married to Lex when she was supposed to be with Clark, she was overwhelmed with a sense of infidelity on her part. How had this even happened? How could she not know the answers to all the questions swimming around in her head?
So far, she remembered Clark … Superman … leaving to see what remnants there existed of his home planet. She vaguely remembered that their plans for a romantic evening together had been interrupted to learn about this improbable possibility. She very clearly remembered that she had planned on telling Clark she wanted to say ‘yes’ to his proposal. She tried to swallow the guilt down and put her cool fingers on her forehead.
Was she having an affair? Certainly, she hadn’t known until now, and she didn’t understand what events happened to get her here, but she recalled the intimacy she shared with Lex as part of this marriage and couldn’t bear to think of what this would do to her relationship with Clark.
She didn’t even know where Clark was.
Or what ridiculous situation he’d been placed in.
The nausea increased, and she took a slow, deep breath to clear it. She reminded herself that losing control and sinking into despair would help no one before turning back to the album.
The next page had a picture of Lois walking down the aisle toward Lex. Her white dress had a plunging neckline on the lace bodice above a satin trumpet skirt. A bustle was gathered at the back beginning the long train that trailed behind her. Full length sleeves covered her arms and a veil covered her hair left down with elegant beads and gemstones as decoration. The look on her face was one of nervousness.
Unbidden, another memory surfaced, and she saw herself walking down the aisle in her afternoon wedding.
###
May 8, 1994
She walked down the aisle toward Lex, slowly, nervously. She turned to see the guests attending the ceremony and her heart sank as she noted the absence of her friends and turned back only to be surprised by the person officiating the wedding.
“The Archbishop?” she said, stunned.
“Yes, I’m sorry,” Lex whispered to her, “the Pope had a prior engagement.” He turned to take in what he saw in her, his gaze roaming her face, finally resting on her eyes. “You look … beautiful,” he said in awe as he took her hand and tucked it under his arm.
She smiled at his kind words and together they turned forward and she was relieved she was no longer facing him. But all she felt was pity as she recalled the intensity of the one-sided conversation she’d just had with herself before the ceremony.
The Archbishop began the ceremony. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and in the presence of these witnesses to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony.”
As Lois shifted from one foot to the other, Lex put his free hand over hers and gave it a gentle squeeze that did the opposite of what he had intended. Could she say no when the time came?
“If anyone knows why this union should not take place,” the Archbishop continued, “let them speak now or forever hold their peace.” A short pause followed, and Lois wondered why her friends weren’t there to speak up for her. Why wasn’t she speaking up for herself? She was beginning to realize she couldn’t do this.
“Do you, Lex,” he continued, unaware of the emotional struggle building in her mind, “take this woman to be your wedded bride from this day forward, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?”
Lois looked at Lex as the last part was said. Did he love her? Lex briefly turned to her and smiled before looking back at the archbishop and saying with tenacity, “I do.”
She slowly turned back to the archbishop and let the words he was speaking to her sink in. “And do you Lois take this man to be your wedded husband from this day forward…”
Forever?
“... for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health ...”
Would she even be here if Lex hadn’t been the subject of that unattainable interview of the 3rd richest man in the world?
“... to love and to cherish, until death do you part?”
Did she love Lex?
“I…” she started, knowing what needed to be said and unable to form the words. Thinking then about her missing friends… and Clark, she wished they’d been here with her, to speak for her when she couldn’t. “I …” she tried again.
Lex turned to look at her, fear and confusion on his face. “Lois?” he asked.
She turned to look at him an apology on her face. “I can’t.”
###
I can’t.She didn’t marry him.
That is how the real wedding had turned out, but she could still recall a version in which she said yes, they kissed and danced at a party that Perry and Jimmy and all of her friends were now noticeably absent from. But she knew that wasn’t correct. Was this marriage she was in to Lex even real, official, documented?
She instantly recalled the marriage certificate framed on the wall across the room and set the album aside to inspect it. When she reached it, she scrutinized the information it held. The signature below her name was absolutely hers. The date was listed as January 20th, 1994. That wasn’t even the date of their original unfinished wedding. What had even happened after that?
She wished she could remember something that would tell her if she was in fact legally married to Lex at this moment because this document had to be a fake.
Suddenly she noticed the names of one of the witnesses. Scott Ferguson. Here he was again. Was there a ceremony? Was he at it? Did they merely change the date? She would need to talk to him about this.
Deciding that further thinking about it wouldn’t reveal any answers, Lois went back to the couch to continue looking at the photo albums. As she sat down, she decided the wedding album was not a good choice and placed it on the coffee table in front of her, picking up instead the next album on the top of the pile beside her. This one was covered in navy satin. Lois ran her hand over the cover and opened it up. It proved to be from even earlier in time displaying a picture of Lex dancing with her at the White Orchid Ball.
###
September 17, 1993
“Lex Luthor,” Lois addressed the man facing away from her as he welcomed guests to the ball. Her intent was to land a one-on-one interview with the most famous man in Metropolis and this would be the night she did it. As he turned to, her she asked pointedly, “Why haven’t you returned my calls?” The man looked at her with eyes that were both intrigued and impressed and politely left the conversation he was currently in to make his way to her. As he neared she introduced herself, “Lois Lane. Daily Planet.” She put her hand out to shake his.
Taking the offered hand, he stared intently into her eyes. “Well I can assure you,” he began and paused to kiss her hand. “I’ll never
make that mistake again.”
Lois smiled at him as he swung her around and pulled her in close as they danced. “I hope you’ll forgive me for being so bold. I–”
“But boldness is trait I find attractive in a woman, Miss Lane,” Lex interrupted, bringing his face closer to hers.
Taken aback by the unexpected compliment, she gave a quick laugh while maintaining eye contact. “Thank you,” she said. She looked down briefly to clear her head. Luthor was not at all what she had expected. “Anyway,” she continued, “Mr. Luthor, I–”
“Lex,” he insisted, and spun her away from him.
“Lex,” she corrected herself. He pulled her back in then. She wondered if his flirtatious style was commonplace or if he only behaved this way for her. Pushing onward, she continued, “I know that your hesitant to give interviews.”
“Well you can understand,” he began to explain, “A man in my position. I wouldn’t want to be misinterpreted,” he said in a breathy voice, further reducing the distance between them. She smiled and had no choice but to be enamored with the charismatic man in front of her. “I have had one or two bad experiences with the media.”
She laughed again to relieve the excitement she felt building. “But not with me,” she pointed out.
“So,” he countered, “Why don’t we make it…” He paused, glanced at her neck and then nuzzled her ear with his nose as he whispered, “dinner.” He came back just enough to look into her face, his eyes smoldering with interest.
She’d only wanted an interview, but suddenly she wanted more. “I’d love that,” she responded simply, a small smile touching her lips.
“As would I.” He squeezed the hand he held and swung her around. “I look forward to getting to know you better.”
She was completely captivated and somewhat nervous as he continued to look intently into her eyes. She couldn’t look away as he led her. Aware of his hand holding hers and the firm embrace he held her in, she wondered what kind of man he was. She’d expected someone distant, apathetic toward those not in his inner circle. But this man was … something else.
He spun her again and smiled at her. “You seem so tense,” he pointed out. “Have I done something to offend you?”
“No, I …” she started, shaking her head, “I’m just … surprised. You are not what I thought you’d be.”
“I’m glad,” he said with a quick lift of his eyebrows. As the song ended, he brought her hand to his lips and lingered over it with a kiss.
Her breath caught. No one had ever treated her with such class. “Thank you for the dance,” she finally managed to say.
“It was my pleasure.” He released her hand and turned to walk away leaving her alone with the feeling of having been swept off her feet.
###
No, she thought, shaking her head adamantly.
That wasn’t it. Clark was there. He’d interrupted that dance. And she had been so mad at him for it. She’d had to convince him to come to the event in the first place and then he’d only frustrated her with his cutting in and attempts to stop her snooping.
She smiled at the memory. It had been annoying then, but she later understood what he was doing.
A closing door stopped her reverie and she looked up nervously. Lex must be home. She considered her options and decided to use the current circumstance to her advantage. She could talk with Lex about their wedding and the ball, see if she could glean some information from him.
She could do this, she could pretend to be in love with him.
To be pregnant, she suddenly remembered.
She looked up as he entered the living room and smiled at him. He was carrying something behind his back and carefully maneuvered around the furniture keeping it hidden. “Hello, my darling,” he greeted her.
“Lex,” she responded as she leaned to the side trying to peek around him. “What’s that you have there?”
He sat down next to her opposite the stack of albums and shook his head with a smirk. “No, no,” he said as he leaned to block her view. “Not yet.”
She looked at his face then and was surprised by the happiness she saw in his face. He must have released whatever he was holding because his hand came forward to caress her cheek and he leaned slowly forward. All of her memories of him included this openly affectionate man that affected her in ways she now found very confusing. She realized then he was about to kiss her. Suddenly … luckily, the nausea returned with force, and she covered her mouth as she got up and bumped into the coffee table as she ran to the bathroom.
How convenient. She would have no trouble convincing Lex she was pregnant. As an added benefit, she guessed that he would also be less interested in intimacy. Or at least she hoped that would be the case.
Again, Lex came in behind her and offered a cool washcloth. She expected to see concern in his face as he had last time, but when she looked up, he had a huge grin instead. She laughed and shook her head. “I’m glad you are enjoying this,” she said sarcastically.
He quickly shook his head, dropping the grin, and knelt down beside her. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, “I don’t enjoy this.” He placed his hand on her knee. “But I can’t hide my happiness about what this means.” He paused, holding her gaze. “About our future child.”
She felt a stab of regret at her decision to use her unfortunate symptoms of her returning memories to her advantage. He would certainly be devastated and angry when he learned the truth. But he’d put her in this position in the first place and she needed a way to keep him at a distance, however short. She shook her head and smiled outwardly while chastising herself inwardly. Why should she care about how this affected him?
Lois took the washcloth from him and stood up. Lex supported her as she rose. “Come back to the living room when you are done here,” he said as he squeezed her elbow and then left.
Before she went back, she mentally prepared herself to spend some time with Lex, taking deep breaths and repeating to herself that she could do this. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been living this lie, but she couldn’t remember any instances in which he had done anything malicious or dangerous. That realization made her more confident that she was safe with Lex. … as long as he didn’t suspect anything.
When she returned to the living room, she found Lex seated in the spot she’d left holding the album she’d been looking through. He looked up as she entered. “Feeling better, I hope?” he asked, smiling. Yes, his eyes were twinkling. “You are glowing, you know.”
She laughed. That simply wasn’t possible but perhaps he was seeing what he wanted to see. The thought struck a nerve, but she shook it off. “Stop,” she said jokingly as she took the seat beside him, careful to show enough affection without being too close.
“You were looking through these albums, I see.” He turned a few pages and admired the pictures.
“Yeah,” she admitted, looking over his arm at the images. “I was feeling … a little sentimental, I guess,” she explained.
He turned another page. “Like what?” he asked, his attention on the album before him.
“Like the first time we danced,” she said as she reached over his arm and pointed at the picture. It had clearly been taken from the balcony above by someone but displayed them looking directly at each other, both smiling.
“Ah,” Lex agreed. “One of my favorites.” As he looked intently at the picture, she leaned back in her seat, shifting her focus to Lex.
He sat there, reclining comfortably with his slippered feet propped on the coffee table, a small smile touching the corners of his mouth, his usual assertive confidence softened. He could be so intense at times, yet here was, looking through pictures and seeming so … normal. Relaxed. Content.
Was this real?
“You asked me to dinner that night.” She watched as he slowly ran his finger over her image.
“And you agreed,” he pointed out. He turned his head to face her with a sincere smile on his face. “It was the beginning of a new and wonderful adventure for me.”
“Hmm.” She drew her legs up to her chest, hoping to discourage any more closeness from Lex. “I recall having my own adventures that night as well,” she brought up.
“Yes, I do recall you snooping around in my office.” He chuckled as he looked back at the album and continued turning pages. The pictures he looked over now were of other guests at the ball.
Lois continued to watch Lex, weighing what she would say next. She wished she could just ask outright what had happened. “Yes,” she ventured with a grin on her face. “You found u –” She stopper herself just before saying ‘us’, recalling just in the nick of time that Clark hadn’t been there in his version. She tucked her hair away behind her ear before speaking again. “You found me later.” She smiled shyly at him, pretending to be embarrassed for another reason.
“Yes.” Lex smiled and eyed her without turning his head from the album. “Snooping, if I recall.”
“Investigating.” She watched him carefully to see if he showed any signs of noticing the mistake she almost made.
He smiled as he continued to remember that evening. “It was raining that night,” he pointed out, “or I would have taken you out there to get a better look at the view.” He closed the navy album and patted it with his hands.
“The rain added to the whimsy of the evening,” she added.
“It did, didn’t it.” He smiled, a wistful look in his eyes. He leaned forward, placed the navy album down and picked up the burgundy wedding album. “It was not raining at our wedding, though.”
“No,” Lois admitted, “it was clear and bright.” She shifted on the couch again to see his face better. What could she ask that might shed light on what happened without tipping him off? “Were you nervous?” she asked.
Lex looked at her and smiled brightly. “Not at all.” He set the album down with the others and then turned his body toward her, bringing his knee up onto the couch beside her. “I was finally getting everything I wanted in life,” he said as he took her hand from where it rested on her knee. His words were so endearing, the kind of things girls dream of hearing. “If I recall, you looked quite nervous up there beside me.”
She chuckled, recalling the nervous look on her own face in the picture. “Well, my friends weren’t there…” Were they? Something flitted across his eyes and his smile straitened a small amount. Had she made a mistake? She smiled and looked at their connected hands, stroking his fingers with her thumb in hopes of distracting him. “I mean, next to me,” she amended. “Julie, my friend from high school, would have made an excellent bridesmaid.” She dared to look up at him them.
His relaxed smile told her he accepted it. He nodded as he suggested, “We can recreate the event sometime and she can be there with you.”
She sighed, infusing it with wistfulness to cover her aversion to the idea.
Lex squeezed her hand. “Listen, darling,” he started, “I haven’t had lunch yet. Would you care to join me?” He stood up and reached his hand toward hers.
“Um…” She thought for a brief moment. She’d done well enough just now that she could handle more. She may even have more opportunities to get more information, if she could figure out how. “Sure,” she agreed with a smile. “I still have an empty stomach.” She reached up to grasp his proffered hand and he pulled her up off the couch. As she stood, she caught a glimpse of the package he had been hiding from her earlier. “Wait,” she stopped him. “What was that thing you were hiding behind your back?” She glanced back toward the end of the couch where he’d set it.
“Oh, right!” he said quickly. Lois moved out of his way as he leaned, reaching for the package. He then stood to hand it to her. “You…” he smiled at her, “distracted me for a moment.”
He placed the brown paper wrapped package in her hands. “For me?” Lois asked as she took the box, noting how light it was. She turned it over in her hands. It looked a bit like a present except it was void of any decoration or tags.
“Yes, darling.” Lex put his hands behind his back and rocked forward on his toes, like a child with a secret. “Open it,” he said with that twinkle in his eye once more.
She carefully undid the tape to remove the wrapping and revealed a simple box. Setting the paper down, she took the lid off the small white box and peered inside. She frowned and felt her mouth open as she reached in pulled out the most adorable baby booties she’d ever seen. They were classic white lace-up shoes, the kind that parents might have bronzed and displayed on their mantle. Another unwanted stab of regret hit her, and she looked up at him with questioning in her eyes.
“They were mine,” he said.
A small gasp escaped her, and he took the box from her other hand and set it down.
He looked at the booties in her hand as he explained, “My mother had kept them as a memento. After she died, I kept them, though I don’t really know why.” He shrugged before he looked her in the eye again. A smiled pulled up one side of his mouth. “It seemed like an appropriate gift.”
For a moment she forgot that she wasn’t pregnant, that she wasn’t in love with him. That he’d done something to her to replace Clark in her memories. She searched his face for a moment. She had never thought of him as sentimental. Sure, her memories of him now painted a picture of a kind and affectionate husband. But this. This was meaningful.
Who was this man?
“Lex…” she finally said. “This is so … sweet.” She looked up at him and smiled the first genuine smile since her eyes were opened to the predicament she was in. “Thank you.” She leaned forward then and kissed him on the cheek. Startled by her own action, she quickly turned away and walked the few steps to a shelf at the side of the room. Pretending was one thing, but she would have to sort through these memories and soon. Whatever he’d done to her, it was enough to make her
feel like she loved him. And it apparently hadn’t worn off completely … yet.
***
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